Going to DLR with non disney people... How do you do it?

[disneynerd420]

When I go in Sept with my mother, I'm worried that she may not have a good time. She is disabled and will have to use an ECV. My mother does not share my love for DL. There are a lot of rides that she won't go on, or can't go on for one reason or another. The only real reason she is going is because she knows I love the DLR. For me it represents magic and hope. I think she has a really hard time seeing that.

My question is....

How do you make a DLR vacation special for someone who can't see the magic?

 

[Judy from Boise]

I would say for many people the DL experience is not wrapped up in the rides.......let her experience it as she wants with no pressure, and she may fall into the magic.

 

[Mugglemama]

my dad, who i lost 9 weeks ago, was a self-proclaimed totally ANTI-disney guy for decades, lol! back in the 50's, when disneyland first opened, my dad went their....and was turned away and refused entry because his hair was too long!!! so after that, he boycotted disney, literally, for decades.

in 2003, we asked him if he wanted to meet up with us for a couple of days at DLR. we had moved out of state a few months earlier, and we were going to get in another week at DLR before our AP's expired. my dad lived about 2 hours away and we hadn't seen each other since the move, so surprised me when he actually accepted the invitation to join us.

he was nearly 70 years old when we went. he had the greatest time! he went on everything with my kids, even California Screamin over at DCA and space mountain! he was extremely thin and somewhat frail during this trip, so i really hadn't expected him to go on these more intense rides, but he did. he loved it, and had a great time. i was half expecting him to be sort of cynical and grouchy about being there, but instead, he soaked it all in and really enjoyed himself. now that he's gone, i really cherish those memories of that trip when he was with us there.

has your mom been to disneyland before? maybe you can discuss with her first some of the things she might like to do while there, and then let her see that you're putting forth the effort to fit in the things she's interested in. maybe if you were to say something simple while there like, "i'd really love it if we could have fun here together" or "come on, let's have fun!", she'll be more open to some of the rides? be as flexible as possible, and try to make her comfort your top priority. she'll probably appreciate that. also, keep things lighthearted, be a little silly. shop for mickey ears together (get the build-your-own kind!), etc. pick up some of the favorite treats around the park (like tigger tails), stuff like that.

i hope that helps, and that you and your mom look back later and feel like you made some really nice memories together. someday that's all you'll have, so try to make them good.

 

[kari12177]

I think people who dont like DL, dont have imagination. That means-all my in-laws!! And Im not kidding!!

 

[TiggerCate]

Shopping and food? Does she like people watching? Parades? Fireworks?

My dad is anti-DL these days. He used to live nearby (when they opened), and went as a kid, teenager, and then as a parent. The last time he went was when I was 17 and my brother was 12. My mom is also not a HUGE DL or ride fan, but she enjoyed shopping and people watching when she went with the kids and me in 2002. She also really enjoyed Soaring and the movies.

 

[disneynerd420]

my dad, who i lost 9 weeks ago, was a self-proclaimed totally ANTI-disney guy for decades, lol! back in the 50's, when disneyland first opened, my dad went their....and was turned away and refused entry because his hair was too long!!! so after that, he boycotted disney, literally, for decades.

in 2003, we asked him if he wanted to meet up with us for a couple of days at DLR. we had moved out of state a few months earlier, and we were going to get in another week at DLR before our AP's expired. my dad lived about 2 hours away and we hadn't seen each other since the move, so surprised me when he actually accepted the invitation to join us.

he was nearly 70 years old when we went. he had the greatest time! he went on everything with my kids, even California Screamin over at DCA and space mountain! he was extremely thin and somewhat frail during this trip, so i really hadn't expected him to go on these more intense rides, but he did. he loved it, and had a great time. i was half expecting him to be sort of cynical and grouchy about being there, but instead, he soaked it all in and really enjoyed himself. now that he's gone, i really cherish those memories of that trip when he was with us there.

Mugglemama... that is an absolutely beautiful story. I'm sorry for your loss.

has your mom been to disneyland before? maybe you can discuss with her first some of the things she might like to do while there, and then let her see that you're putting forth the effort to fit in the things she's interested in. maybe if you were to say something simple while there like, "i'd really love it if we could have fun here together" or "come on, let's have fun!", she'll be more open to some of the rides? be as flexible as possible, and try to make her comfort your top priority. she'll probably appreciate that. also, keep things lighthearted, be a little silly. shop for mickey ears together (get the build-your-own kind!), etc. pick up some of the favorite treats around the park (like tigger tails), stuff like that.

i hope that helps, and that you and your mom look back later and feel like you made some really nice memories together. someday that's all you'll have, so try to make them good.

My mother has been to Disneyland before... it was about 13-14 years ago. Even then, it was for me... not so much for her, and back then she was mobile. But you are right, I need to make her comfort the top priority. You have a lot of good suggestions mugglemama, thank you!

 

[disneynerd420]

Shopping and food? Does she like people watching? Parades? Fireworks?

She does enjoy the night time entertainment. I hope Fantasmic is playing on the last weekend in Sept. Probably not, but I think she would really like that.

 

[disneynerd420]

I have this concern though, that she is going to be feeling so depressed about being disabled in a place like Disneyland, which I know she will... that she will just be miserable the entire time.

 

[LavenderPeach]

I agree that if she's not into the rides then make sure you see a lot of the shows and maybe pick out a nice sit down restaurant to go to. Keep an eye out on the dis boards for suggestions of different things to do there like asking to sit in the wheel house of the mark twain or get a hidden mickey book and go on a scavenger hunt. Maybe you can find out what she doesn't like about DL and then try to do other things that she will like.

What about a tour? Not cheap but it might be a lot of fun for her.

 

[LavenderPeach]

I have this concern though, that she is going to be feeling so depressed about being disabled in a place like Disneyland, which I know she will... that she will just be miserable the entire time.

Hopefully she won't feel depressed. There are a lot of disabled guests and DLR does its best to accomodate them so that everyone can join in on the magic.

 

[KerBear]

I have this concern though, that she is going to be feeling so depressed about being disabled in a place like Disneyland, which I know she will... that she will just be miserable the entire time.

I think the thinking/worrying about it ahead of time might be depressing, I don't think it will be too much of an issue once she is there though. I am disabled, some days I can walk the park just fine (with a bit of prescription assistance ) and other days I just can't. I finally gave up and got a guest assistance card one day and suddenly I was actually having fun again! Just plan on taking it slow, find out what attractions she is interested in and go at her pace, most of DL and nearly all of DCA is accessible in one way or another, so the ECV shouldn't slow her down a bit. Now I need to convince my mom to come with me sometime soon!

 

[Mugglemama]

Mugglemama... that is an absolutely beautiful story. I'm sorry for your loss.

thank you. i miss him every day and still can't believe he's gone. he was one of my best friends in life, so it's been really tough letting him go.

i hope you and your mom find a way to really enjoy yourselves while at disneyland. another poster here said it well when they told you that disney really tries to accommodate those who are disabled so that they can share in the magic, too. it seems to be true. i can understand why you're mom could feel down about not being mobile on this trip. hopefully though, you will both find ways to make the visit enjoyable. if there are things about the park that she HATES, try to find things about it that she may enjoy to counteract it. one of the most important things i've learned in losing my dad is that once they are gone, it never feels like there were enough memories, or enough time spent together. so make the most of every minute you have.

i hope you both have a great time!

 

[3Minnies1Mickey]

She does enjoy the night time entertainment. I hope Fantasmic is playing on the last weekend in Sept. Probably not, but I think she would really like that.

F! usually shows Fri-Sun in the off season. Nothing invokes Disney magic like F!. I was watching the sneak preview of the new show and DD4 comes in and joined me. She only caught a few minutes towards the end, but even on a tiny YouTube screen the lights and characters on the Mark Twain made her gasp in amazement. I can't wait for her to see it live for the first time.

 

[Mom2Joce]

I have to comment on the disabled part....there are so many others with diabilities there and Disneyland is so accomodating I think it's good she's going bec I think she'll change her thoughts after the trip

 

[disneynerd420]

I just want to thank everyone for their kind words. I'm going to work my butt off to make sure she is happy. I do know that one day she wants to spend the day at the hotel and rest.

She said she would not mind if I went off and met my friend Brittany (who is a DCA castmember in the animation building) and rode some E -tickets that day...

Do you think I should go, or should I stay with my mother and keep her company?

 

[Mugglemama]

how many days do you have to spend at DLR? if you have several, and you think she REALLY doesn't mind resting at the hotel one of the days (and isn't just saying it to be nice), it would seem like that would be the time to run out and do the e-ticket rides. you could make the time and effort to bring back a nice lunch or dinner for both of you to have at the hotel. or bring her an unexpected little gift when you return, something like that.

if you're staying on property, are there any types of spa-like amenities available? you could treat her to something like that if it's within your budget!!

 

[teatime]

When I go in Sept with my mother, I'm worried that she may not have a good time. She is disabled and will have to use an ECV. My mother does not share my love for DL. There are a lot of rides that she won't go on, or can't go on for one reason or another. The only real reason she is going is because she knows I love the DLR. For me it represents magic and hope. I think she has a really hard time seeing that.

My question is....

How do you make a DLR vacation special for someone who can't see the magic?

I say ditch her and run for the gate seriously, do not let anyone ruin your trip, if mom wants to negate anything and everything she can stay in the room and watch tv, or better yet sit under a tree and people watch. I took my sister who was not into disney. Guess what? she said it was the best time she had ever had, and wished she could go back. they have fallen on hard times so she can not go back, but she always thought I was nuts, now she see's what I see and she wishes she could go to!

 

[Judy from Boise]

I think you may be going about this a little backwards.....you cannot make anyone happy ever, it is not in your power.......but the best way to influence someone to choose happiness is to be happy yourself. So, perhaps counterintuitivly, doing what will make you happy might be the best way to influence your mother to be happy.
If you get tense trying to second guess what she will like, and sweating the details, you both will get tenser and more negative.
FYI I work at a rehab hospital, trust me unless you are a vent dependant quad, you haven't hit the pinnacle of "disabled", and I know plenty of quads who are happy positive people.It is each person's responsibility to deal with the hand their dealt.

 

[disneynerd420]

I think you may be going about this a little backwards.....you cannot make anyone happy ever, it is not in your power.......but the best way to influence someone to choose happiness is to be happy yourself. So, perhaps counterintuitivly, doing what will make you happy might be the best way to influence your mother to be happy.
If you get tense trying to second guess what she will like, and sweating the details, you both will get tenser and more negative.
FYI I work at a rehab hospital, trust me unless you are a vent dependant quad, you haven't hit the pinnacle of "disabled", and I know plenty of quads who are happy positive people.It is each person's responsibility to deal with the hand their dealt.

I will definitely think about what you said. It makes sense.

 

[disneynerd420]

how many days do you have to spend at DLR? if you have several, and you think she REALLY doesn't mind resting at the hotel one of the days (and isn't just saying it to be nice), it would seem like that would be the time to run out and do the e-ticket rides. you could make the time and effort to bring back a nice lunch or dinner for both of you to have at the hotel. or bring her an unexpected little gift when you return, something like that.

if you're staying on property, are there any types of spa-like amenities available? you could treat her to something like that if it's within your budget!!

We have 5 day hoppers. On one hand, 5 days can be much for some DL fans, and my mother might like a quiet day alone for a little while to rest. On the other, I am worried that she is only saying that so I won't feel drug down by her.

But Mugglemama, I love your idea about bringing something back to the room, whether it be a meal or a gift, I'm gonna put some thought into that one.

We are staying at the DLH, maybe we can scrounge up a little funds for some time at Mandera. Does anyone know how much they cost? We are trying to do this as budget friendly as possible, and I know we will be doing Goofy's kitchen and Blue Bayou. I can't say no to either now. I'm thinking she will enjoy those places.