Girls calling boys

[Rollwithit]

First let me say long time no post! I've been busy working, taking care of my DH and raising our 12 yo daughter. Which brings me to this post.

Tell me how you feel about girls calling boys. DD has a "friend." We could tell on our Caller ID he had called twice before we got home last night. She wanted to call him back right away. My decision went over like a lead brick. And apparently I'm living in the dark ages. She says it's okay, all the girls do it and DH thinks it's okay.

Fortunately, he called back in the midst of our discussion but I'm sure this will come up again.

 

[olena]

I called boys when I was in school. That was 15 years ago.

 

[JC2]

My opinion is that it is perfectly ok for girls to call boys.

That being said, I think you and your husband should be the ones to decide what is ok in your home, regardless of what "society" says.

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

there are really two issues here, RWI.

are you ok with your dd having a "boyfriend"? and if it's ok for her to be talking on the phone, is it different if she calls him or if he calls her?

as for the first -- you make the rules for your dd. I don't see a problem with the friendship. but if you're not comfortable with it, it's up to you to decide what your dd will do.

as for the second, I agree with your dh. I see no problem in your dd calling the boy instead of waiting for him to call back.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Is your dd not allowed to have male friends? You'll probably say of course she can have male friends. I see nothing wrong with talking to your friends on the phone...
However if this is her "boyfriend" well then that puts it in a different light and then I would have seperate rules for him. Like a time limit or something, most likely.
Anyway with my 12dd she has had boys call this year BUT no boyfriend yet...(thank goodness)

 

[CBRorBust]

Are you serious?

I'm sorry for the sarcasm, but they are just calling each other. It's not like they are going to get engaged tomorrow.

I don't see what the big deal is about a girl calling a boy.

I'm sorry in advance, for being rude, but geez!

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

CBR, there was a time when a girl was considered "forward" or worse if she initiated the call to the boy. it was considered "ladylike" to wait for the boy to call.

times have certainly changed. I don't see a problem with the girl picking up the phone and making a call.

 

[Gette88]

My DD just turned 13. She has a "boyfriend" so do all her friends but it's in name only. At least for my DD. She is not aloud to go on a date. DH is being a little overly protective in my opinion. We both agree no dates although I'm not against group movie dates. DH is against it. He won't let boys call our house. I keep telling him she will only talk to boys on the phone at friends houses then we won't know what's going on. We argue about this, DD tries to pit us against each other. I don't think it's a big deal but he does and I won't go against him even though I don't agree. DD tells me everything so I know she has talked to boys on the phone at friends houses. I don't know what to do. DH doesn't want to give in. I think he's very afraid to start the whole boyfriend thing. I don't know what to do. Just giving DH a little time to get use to the idea that his baby is not a baby anymore.

 

[disneygals]

I think it's perfectly okay for a girl to call a boy (especially if she is returning his call) I have an 11 year old and she has a "boyfriend". She has only called him once and he has never called her, they only see each other at school.

I told her the same thing about calling him that I did regarding her girl friends, limit your calls to one a day, don't keep calling back again and again.

Good Luck with the next scary 10 years!! I know I'll need it with my 3 girls.

Vivienne

 

[delikado]

Originally posted by Briar Rose 7457
CBR, there was a time when a girl was considered "forward" or worse if she initiated the call to the boy. it was considered "ladylike" to wait for the boy to call.

Quite true. In fact, my mom believed this, and I'm only 23 years old, so it isn't as archaic as you might think When I was in high school (again, not too long ago), she made it very clear to me that calling boys was very inappropriate. I obviously wasn't very happy about this, but those were the rules, and I didn't have much of a choice in the matter.

It all comes down to what you think is best for your daughter. I didn't turn out differently because I wasn't allowed to call boys when I was younger, and I don't think it'll affect your daughter in the long run, either.

 

[browneyes]

I think it's perfectly ok for girls to call boys. My dd is 10 yo and she hasn't tried to call any boys yet, but I'm ok with it if she wanted to.

 

[aunt lissa]

Although I think it is perfectly ok for girls to call boys, even at 24 I still won't call a guys house, friend or other wise! That's just me living in my Daddy's old fashioned world!!

 

[llebrekniT]

First of all, he called her, so in order to teach etiquette, she needs to return her phone calls. She is getting to the age where this will happen more and more. You cannot stop this, but you can control when she talks, for how long, etc. Time to set some ground rules. Be fair and stay calm. You will long for these days soon!

 

[always quiet]

I have talked to my DD, also aged 12, and told her it was fine for a boy to call her, her to call him or even for him to come over (she is NOT going to his house!! ). No one is going anywhere with anybody!!

I would much rather know the kids can feel comfortable with guys (or girls in my son's case!) calling here or coming over. You get an idea what's going on in their lives, a chance to get to know who their friends are and they know they are "safe" around the opposite sex...no pressure from anyone to get "too close".

 

[LarryE]

I don't believe in phones at all, if it wasn't for my grandparents getting old and sick I wouldn't have them at all.

If it can't be said online through aim or email or in person it probably doesn't need to be said at all and especially over a phone.

 

[Rollwithit]

Rollwithit crawls out from under her rock now

I'm 44. I guess I did grow up in the dark ages!

I don't have a problem with him calling our house. He's a very polite young man. And I really don't have a problem with her calling him back if he has called first. All the other stuff in between? I'll get used to it as we go along.

 

[AirForceRocks]

Don't worry, RWI - you aren't that old.

And really, are you serious? I mean, I hate to be rude, but I'm going to anyway...

 

[gepetto]

Wow RWI, I didn't realize you were that old.

 

[Rollwithit]

 

[Toby'sFriend]

I'd never trust a boy named Mason.

Let's just have her date Steven. She can call my house and he can call your house and between the two of us we should be able to record every conversation. With the distance between our houses, we won't have to worry about car dates or funny business. He doesn't have any money to buy her a ring, so they won't be getting engaged for a very long time.

When it comes time for them to get married, you can pay for the wedding and I'll pay for the honeymoon.

Grandchildren will spend Christmas and Thanksgiving at my house. You can have them for Memorial day and oh.......I guess the 4th of July.

deal?