Hisgirl
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2011
- Messages
- 2,220
This past 12 months.
My friend committed suicide.
I readied my family home, put my hands on every paper and much-loved item to pack, move and downsize.
I built a new house, oversaw the construction and angst, all the while care-giving for two elderly parents with dementia.
My spouse retired and our income was cut in two.
Then, my dog, whom I loved with a fierce kind of love, up and died from a lung complication. Quite out of the blue. It nearly killed me.
Then both of my parents died....on the same day, not hardly eleven hours apart. Commence handling their estate.
Then, the radiologist called and I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Double mastectomy.
My soul is soaked through with grief. The horror of Bear, my shepherd, dying in a rush, with no time to prepare.
That's where I am, fully soaked through from loss. There isn't room for more.
My parents' deaths are lined up, waiting their turn, the breast cancer, the loss of both of my breasts, that, too, is not unwrapped, not grieved or acknowledged.
The tears and heart ache are for Bear alone. Sometimes a thought of mama or daddy slips in, and I push it back quickly. I am cut to the quick, still, from the love of my dog. I need healing before I can face the next in line. Then the next and the next.
I'm not depressed. Just incredibly over-soaked with loss.
If this sounds familiar, and you had a line-up of loss, what were turning points for you?
My friend committed suicide.
I readied my family home, put my hands on every paper and much-loved item to pack, move and downsize.
I built a new house, oversaw the construction and angst, all the while care-giving for two elderly parents with dementia.
My spouse retired and our income was cut in two.
Then, my dog, whom I loved with a fierce kind of love, up and died from a lung complication. Quite out of the blue. It nearly killed me.
Then both of my parents died....on the same day, not hardly eleven hours apart. Commence handling their estate.
Then, the radiologist called and I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Double mastectomy.
My soul is soaked through with grief. The horror of Bear, my shepherd, dying in a rush, with no time to prepare.
That's where I am, fully soaked through from loss. There isn't room for more.
My parents' deaths are lined up, waiting their turn, the breast cancer, the loss of both of my breasts, that, too, is not unwrapped, not grieved or acknowledged.
The tears and heart ache are for Bear alone. Sometimes a thought of mama or daddy slips in, and I push it back quickly. I am cut to the quick, still, from the love of my dog. I need healing before I can face the next in line. Then the next and the next.
I'm not depressed. Just incredibly over-soaked with loss.
If this sounds familiar, and you had a line-up of loss, what were turning points for you?
