Funny epitaph's...(engravings on headstones)

[Rippington'sFan]

Some of these are pretty clever and funny.

I have to admit I didn't know what a epitaph was. You learn something new every day.



Epitaphs From Near And Far

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Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising.
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Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:
Here lies the body
of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.
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In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
Here lays Butch,
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw.
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A lawyer's epitaph in England:
Sir John Strange
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.
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Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont:
I was somebody.
Who, is no business
Of yours.
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Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona in
the cowboy days of the 1880's. He's buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in
Tombstone, Arizona:
Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a .44
No Les No More.
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In a Georgia cemetery:
"I told you I was sick!"
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John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
Reader if cash thou art
In want of any
Dig 4 feet deep
And thou wilt find a Penny.
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On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Virginia:
She always said her feet were killing her
but nobody believed her.
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In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
On the 22nd of June
- Jonathan Fiddle -
Went out of tune.
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Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont has an epitaph that
sounds like something from a Three Stooges movie:
Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.
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More fun with names with Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England:
Gone away
Owin' more
Than he could pay.
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Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood:
In Memory of Beza Wood
Departed this life
Nov. 2, 1837
Aged 45 yrs.
Here lies one Wood
Enclosed in wood
One Wood
Within another.
The outer wood
Is very good:
We cannot praise
The other.
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On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
Under the sod and under the trees
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod:
Pease shelled out and went to God.
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The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania is almost a consumer tip:
Who was fatally burned
March 21, 1870
by the explosion of a lamp
filled with "R.E. Danforth's
Non-Explosive Burning Fluid"
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Oops! Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903 - Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
the car was on the way down.
It was.
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In a cemetary in England:
Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I,
As I am now, so shall you be,
Remember this and follow me.
- To which someone replied by writing on the tombstome:
To follow you I'll not consent,
Until I know which way you went.
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On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
Here lies Ezekial Aikle
Age 102
The Good Die Young.
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In a London, England cemetery:
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767
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A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery:
Sacred to the memory of
my husband John Barnes
who died January 3, 1803
His comely young widow, aged 23, has
many qualifications of a good wife, and
yearns to be comforted.
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In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna,
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.
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In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.

 

[dlbwright]

Those are good!

 

[vettechick99]

A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery:
Sacred to the memory of
my husband John Barnes
who died January 3, 1803
His comely young widow, aged 23, has
many qualifications of a good wife, and
yearns to be comforted.

Oh yeah! Get it girl!

 

[tidoublegger]

Wow, funny & interesting to read!!

 

[MB MinnieGirl]

In a cemetary in England:
Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I,
As I am now, so shall you be,
Remember this and follow me.

My friends and I passed a graveyard on the way home from school each day. This was on one of the graves and it used to freak us out! We were probably 10 years old and it was like we were just understanding that we would be in there too one day. It just creeped us out! I've never forgotten that epitaph.

 

[welovedisneyx4]

I feel like I am waiting to enter the Haunted Mansion!!!

 

[korzmom]

Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:
Here lies the body
of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.

I'm from uniontown, what cemetary is it??? and where did you get these, they're very clever..but would you want one of these on your tombstone???
and yeah it does seem like I'm entering the HANTED MANSION...

 

[welovedisneyx4]

korzmom,

I have cousins that live in Uniontown. I've been there a couple of times! Nice little town, but I hate driving up the mountains to get there. I remember one time we were passing an 18-wheeler and I looked over and he was only like 6 inches away from us and I about died!!!

 

[Rippington'sFan]

Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:
Here lies the body
of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.

I'm from uniontown, what cemetary is it??? and where did you get these, they're very clever..but would you want one of these on your tombstone???
and yeah it does seem like I'm entering the HANTED MANSION...

Korzmom, I have no idea what cemetary. I'm from Massachusetts. I stumbled upon these on the internet looking at humor stuff.
Would I like one of these on my stone? Sure why not?

 

[Dis-Wiz]

These are so FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!

How about we write some of our own and send it to this thread?
For example: (My VMK name it FrontierEmma)

FrontierEmma lies here dead,
if only we more quickly said,
"TIMBER!"

or

FrontierEmma, why did she go?
She was doing her famous magic show
when she made she self disappear
to where, we do not know.

Who else has some of their own creations?

 

[Daisy Duck 5]

On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
Here lies Ezekial Aikle
Age 102
The Good Die Young.

I want to go see this one.

 

[Sparx]

These are neat. I think the people that have them would have enjoyed them (well, all but that widow one). I want a funny epitaph on my tomb stone. I always say, "at one point in my funeral, everyone in that room is going to be laughing" and I promise they will. I don't want one of those sad and depressing funerals, I want it to be fun, and to celebrate my life, not mourn my death. I think a funny epitaph would just be the topper.
"Here she be
Ms Shelby Leigh
She made us laugh
She made us cry
We all knew that
she would die
But we still kept
her memories
alive" sounds good. Not funny, but not all moody and depressing either.

 

[kaylajr]

Remember ME, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I,
As I am now, so shall you be,
Prepare for Death and follow me.

this was on a grave in a cemetary by where i went to high school

I have always liked it
but DH says NO WAY is it going on our stone