Funniest Lines in WDW Attractions

[dmk1021]

I felt inspired to start a thread where everyone shares a subtle line or even scene in a WDW attraction that totally cracks them up.

I'll give some of my favorite examples:

From my sig - "I may have invented these bifocals I'm wearing, but I can assure you they're not rose-colored." Oh you nut, Ben Franklin!

"Woah, I almost jumped out of the ride" - Tigger, Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

"It's a salute to all countries, but mostly America" - Sam Eagle, MuppetVision 3D

and finally (for now, because i know you guys can whip up some good ones)...

"Oh Grandpa, you're not talking about the days when you didn't even have a car phone!" - Patty, COP (unintentional, and I love that attraction so much it hurts, but I can't help but find this amusing...along with the whole, "high def and laserdisc" line).

Bring on the chuckles!

 

[sunny04]

You're quote from Muppets reminded me of one of my favorites, although I don't remember the exact wording, so I'll just paraphrase a bit.

Kermit asks Sam Eagle if the finale is ready...
Sam : Yes. It is a spectacular 2 hour display...
Kermit : You have 2 minutes.
Sam gasps loudly and slams the door in panic.

Sounds really blah typed in words, but it's one of my favorite lines.

 

[All Aboard]

Iago at the very end of the Enchanted Tiki Room, Under new Management:

Hey lady, it wouldn't hurt you to walk a little faster! Boy, am I tired, I think I'll head over to the Hall of Presidents and take a nap.

 

[Epcot242]

UOE
Ellen walking on screen with cell phone in hand: "... hahaha! I know! Big piece of corn right in her teeth!" Notices the audience. "I'm gonna have to call you back." Hangs up quickly.

"You're late, where've you been? I love your hair! Well not yours... well yours is OK, but that, I like that, yeah."

The ride is just generally funny. Ellen adds a whole new element too, I think.

 

[MareSINY]

Ok I may be crazy, but my favorite line is...

"Paging Mr. Morrow, Mr. Tom Morrow. Your party has arrived from Saturn, please give them a ring."

That always makes me giggle!

 

[peter11435]

although I don't remember the exact wording, so I'll just paraphrase a bit.

Sam : Yes. It's a glorious 3 hour finale.
Kermit : You got a minute and a half.

 

[DepCor0311]

Don't know if this fits the thread, but I love the "Do-Re-Mi" song from the Adventerer's Club:

Do, with which I buy my beer
Re, the guy I buy beer from
Mi, the guy who buys the beer
Fa, a long way to the store
So, I think I'll have a beer
La...La la la la la la
Ti, no thanks I'll have a beer
and that brings us back to Do!

 

[Claudia Kellenberger]

Ok I may be crazy, but my favorite line is...

"Paging Mr. Morrow, Mr. Tom Morrow. Your party has arrived from Saturn, please give them a ring."

That always makes me giggle!

I think this one is my absolute favorite line in all of WDW !

 

[sunny04]

Sam : Yes. It's a glorious 3 hour finale.
Kermit : You got a minute and a half.

Aha! I was close...just a little off. Thanks.

 

[profdsny]

Anything from Statler and Waldorf. Hard to pick the best, but, when Fozzie asks what they are doing there at the show, they say, "We entered a contest." "Yeah, we lost."

 

[dmk1021]

I'm lovin' these...they're inspiring me to think of others.

I love Ellen too! She explains to Bill Nye how she always called Jamie Lee Curtis "Stupid Judy." Then later, during the Jeopardy dream sequence at the ride's finale, Alex Trebek mentions to Judy that her and Ellen used to be college roommates:

"That's right Alex. We used to call her "Stupid Ellen.""

These are all really good. Keep 'Em coming. I know you've got more in you!

Since we're talking about Muppets, I'll throw in another from there:

"Do we have time to go to the bathroom before the next show?"

"We can't you old fool, we're bolted to the seats!"

I'm going to DL tomorrow, and I can't wait to see Muppet Vision for the millionth time at DCA.

 

[FSUGrad97]

Ok I may be crazy, but my favorite line is...

"Paging Mr. Morrow, Mr. Tom Morrow. Your party has arrived from Saturn, please give them a ring."

That always makes me giggle!

ME TOO! That and the one about visitors arriving from some planet need to keep their tentacles forward facing and in the car.

I love TTA.

 

[manchurianbrownbear]

The actor who played David Putty on Seinfeld is very funny giving instructions before Soarin’

 

[sunny04]

The actor who played David Putty on Seinfeld is very funny giving instructions before Soarin’

Oh my gosh! Yes he is....DH and I crack up at him.

 

[Robo]

The actor who played David Putty on Seinfeld is very funny giving instructions before Soarin’

That would be Patrick Warburton.

"... loose articles. That includes these little babies..." (Mickey Mouse Ears).

 

[Robo]

The now closed forever I fear (sigh), "Cranium Command".

Preshow film.

After he orders all of his troops in the film into the "theater", General Knowledge turns to US in the audience and says,
"Well, what are YOU waiting for? Where do you think you ARE, Disney World?"

 

[Robo]

MuppetVision 3D:

(Right after what must surely be THE funniest visual joke anywhere at Disney.)

Sam Eagle:
"YOU are not Mickey Mouse... YOU are a RAT!"
Rizzo Rat:
"Rat-schmat, what do THEY know, they're TOURISTS."


Kermit:
"...it appears that Muppet Labs has been temporarily SUCKED-UP!"

 

[Robo]

Festival of the Lion King.

Timon, after-show announcement:

"You've all such a WONDERFUL audience, now... GET OUT!"

"Take small children by the hand, yada-yada-yada... you know the drill"

"We've got another one of theses babies to crank out and Pumba needs a BUG BREAK!"

 

[Robo]

Its Tough to Be a Bug.

Flick, at the very beginning of the show, his head poking down from the ceiling:

Stage whisper:
"Hey fireflies, up HERE.

(Firefly spotlight "searches" for him.)

Uhh, a little more... more...

(Firefly spotlight goes on PAST him.)

"...LESS!"

 

[disneyaggie]

More, more, more!