Frustration/Help?!

[AshRae84]

Ok, I'm going to attempt to make this post without sounding too cranky....

My fiance and I just bought into BLT, and have our developer points to use before October. His mother is one of the unlucky individuals who is getting laid off in these economic times, so we decided it'd be a great getaway to take her, and his 5 year old nephew to Disney on a vacation.

She was super excited about it, and we were all set to go.

Now here's where the problem comes in...

His sister, (Who is 23, and has 2 children of her own *an infant daughter, and the 5 yo*) has a little problem with wanting all the attention to be on her. As soon as she found out our plans, she immediately "invited herself."

My fiance won't say no to her, he doesn't want to cause problems in his family, and I understand that. He has told her numerous times that we can take care of the accomodations but they (meaning her and her boyfriend) are required to pay for their own meals, park tickets, etc.

She says she understands this, but I know her. I have this sneaking suspicion we'll get down there, and she'll be saying she doesn't have enough money to pay for them...

So my question is, how can we have a fun vacation on a budget?

We just can't afford to take on 2 more adults, especially when we're preparing for our wedding next year...

I appreciate the people on this board so much, and I'm hopeful you guys will have tips for me!

Thanks,

~*Ash*~

 

[2disneyboys]

That's a potentially sticky situation there! I would make it a point to provide the details to them in advance... over and over and over...and get affimation from them that they are aware and are prepared... that way, if you get there and they start the "I don't have" cry, then you can tell them to enjoy the "free" accomidiations while you DF, DM and DN go guilt free into the parks/restaurants that YOU prepared for. Thats really all you can do. If your DF is not willing to go that route, then I'd say you need to study the menu's etc to ensure you are aware of some backupplan places to eat and things to do that you can afford w/ you & DF covering all the costs for everyone. the main thing is you & DF have to be on the same page with this.. if you are not and she pulls something, it would be very very easy for the problem to be like a grain of sand between the two of you and disrupt or even ruin someone's vacation.

FOr the record, I think its crazy.. first I'd NEVER invite myself along, but if I did,not only would I make sure you were not covering any of my costs outher then the accomidiations, I would ensure to have extra $ to do something special to you for allowing me the ability to be there. oh well.. people don't always react the way YOU would react.

 

[msce2]

The other thing you might be able to do is something we worked out with my parents. They are owners at BCV. We are staying with them in May. We paid them in advance for our meal plan and tickets. Are you doing the dining plan? If not, do you have meals that you are planning on eating out? If so have her figure out the cost, tax and tip (18% since you will be over 6 people) and have her write you a check. I would just let her know that you guys are not in a financial position to pay for their meals and tickets. Let her know that you will be ordering the tickets or the meal plan in advance and need her share. If she's not able to pay up before you go, chances are she's not going to be able to during the trip. Maybe once she realizes how much it will actually cost she will decide not to go. If she chooses to go she pays before you get down there. Otherwise you will probably end up footing the bill.

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

The other thing you might be able to do is something we worked out with my parents. They are owners at BCV. We are staying with them in May. We paid them in advance for our meal plan and tickets. Are you doing the dining plan? If not, do you have meals that you are planning on eating out? If so have her figure out the cost, tax and tip (18% since you will be over 6 people) and have her write you a check. I would just let her know that you guys are not in a financial position to pay for their meals and tickets. Let her know that you will be ordering the tickets or the meal plan in advance and need her share. If she's not able to pay up before you go, chances are she's not going to be able to during the trip. Maybe once she realizes how much it will actually cost she will decide not to go. If she chooses to go she pays before you get down there. Otherwise you will probably end up footing the bill.

That was my thought exactly. Just TELL her how much her share of the dining plan would be ($40 pp per day plus 18% tips) plus how much her tickets would be then make her pay for those BEFORE the trip. Chances are she won't be able to pay and then you won't have to worry about it. Honestly I would tell her all money is due 7 days before check-in (she won't know DVC rules) and if she can't pay it then she can't go this time.

 

[AshRae84]

Thanks so much guys!! I really appreciate the responses. I think we're gonna have groceries delivered, so she'll have to pay us for those ahead of time. DF has also talked about the 2 of us sneaking away, doing the couples massage, and having a few dinners alone, he's determined to still enjoy OUR vacation (so thankful for him!).

We've discussed telling her we found a good deal on tix, but we have to preorder them. (I've even talked about telling her we could get them $50 off if we order ahead of time, and eating the $50, just to ensure we get the money ahead of time.)

I really appreciate the response, I'm determined to not let this ruin my first stay as a DVC member!

Ashley

 

[maddiesmom0116]

Wow- SIL sounds like fun! I would have her at least buy their park tickets at the Disney Store in advance before you let them go or have her give you the money telling her you have to add it on and pay for it in advance with the room ( she won't know any better). This was at least you know she has paid for this part.

 

[AshRae84]

The funny part is that after seeing our Dream book she's decided she too wants to join DVC...

She can barely afford to pay her bills, I don't know what makes her think she's going to come up with that deposit, and monthly payment...

The bright side is that my DF understands his family, and doesn't get mad when I vent my frustrations, on the downside though, he doesn't want to cause any problems and tends to just let things slide (Far too often IMO), with her...

~*Ash*~

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

The funny part is that after seeing our Dream book she's decided she too wants to join DVC...

She can barely afford to pay her bills, I don't know what makes her think she's going to come up with that deposit, and monthly payment...

The bright side is that my DF understands his family, and doesn't get mad when I vent my frustrations, on the downside though, he doesn't want to cause any problems and tends to just let things slide (Far too often IMO), with her...

~*Ash*~

Just make sure she uses you as a reference if she joins DVC so you at least get something out of it.

 

[AshRae84]

Just make sure she uses you as a reference if she joins DVC so you at least get something out of it.

LOL, great minds. I have already said that to DF, if by some chance she finds a way to come up with the cash, I want credit. :-D

~*Ash*~

 

[EthansMom]

I would tell her she needs to pay for her portion of the food, and her tix (and any other expenses) before everyone leaves. Have the same rule for anyone else going. Basically, "We're able to get a discount on the tix and want to have the money for groceries all set aside. We'll need $X by such and such date. If that's a problem, we'll understand if you can't come."

I wouldn't be surprised if she ends up not going once she finds out how much the tix are for her and her 5 year-old.

 

[Perditamarie]

When are you going.....are you flying there? That may be a reality check for her right there, having to pay for plane tickets in advance, and maybe soon, depending on your dates.

There are many threads on the DVC boards about family members throwing a wrench into plans, by deciding not to come at the last minute and the DVCer was stuck w/a larger room than they needed because of that, or couldn't book a smaller room w/o losing points due to lack of notice.....the prevailing suggestions from those threads seem to be to collect a room deposit, as the invited guests seem to view it as a free/optional trip and are not considerate of the generous offer or how tricky using points can be.

I think you would be wise to collect $$ for tix/dining plan/food.....or let her and bf stay at the pool while everyone else goes to the park! Also, there is a difference in a room for 4 to a room for 6....will you need to book larger accomodation if SIL and her boyfriend come along...will that throw a wrench in how you are using your points....and what is your flexibility to change when they cancel at the last minute?

This really is a generous offer...one she will come to expect on all your future trips!!!!!

 

[EthansMom]

There are many threads on the DVC boards about family members throwing a wrench into plans, by deciding not to come at the last minute and the DVCer was stuck w/a larger room than they needed because of that, or couldn't book a smaller room w/o losing points due to lack of notice.....the prevailing suggestions from those threads seem to be to collect a room deposit, as the invited guests seem to view it as a free/optional trip and are not considerate of the generous offer or how tricky using points can be.

I LOVE the idea of getting a "room deposit". But I think that the sister should have to PAY for any extra points used.

If I were the OP, I would tell DF's sister, "Oh, that's going to cost an extra $X in points. We'll need you to give us (PAY you for the points) the money by such and such date so we can book the room." Also, I'd tell her the price of tix and approximate price of food. Once she realizes that you AREN'T giving her a free trip, she'll change her tune.

You and your DF paid for those points, don't let anyone else have the expectation that you are going to GIVE them the benefit of your points for free. Afterall, would you go hand this woman the equivalent in cash for her to spend on a trip? I'd bet you wouldn't.

We don't have DVC, but I've had a one or two times where MIL wanted to come with us on a family trip. And while I have no problem with MIL coming on the trip, I'm not going on vacation AND squeezing in to a small room with my family AND MIL. Once I told MIL that she'd need to get her own room, she decided she didn't want to come so badly.

 

[pyrxtc]

Okay, the first thing I would do is have a long chat with DF. You are not even married yet and having problems wiht his family. I would start setting the rules now so that after you are married, they are golden. Settle it now or for the rest of your lives together it will be an issue.

Next, I would do as many suggested. Tell her you need cost for everything up front and give her adeadline. Don't front her money for anything. Make sure she buys her own airline tickets. It is easy to offer the room but then you end up paying for everythign else if your not careful. Also, be aware that if you let her invite herself this time, she will try agian during the next 50 years you own DVC and think it acceptable to you.

 

[PatsMom]

Unless you have enough points and were already planning to book a two bedroom, couldn't you just tell them that DVC limits occupancy in a one bedroom to four? Since the child is 5 he would count as one of the four.

I like the ideas others have suggested about getting the money up front. That avoids the "we didn't realize it would be so expensive" scenario in restaurants that would end up with you covering the bill! The dining plan could be your friend.