Fourth marriage... I'm sorry, really?!

[Ember]

My dad just called me to tell me he's getting married. AGAIN. This would be marriage number four.

It's not that I actually care that the man is getting married. Hey, it's your life, knock yourself out! It's that the wedding is planned for this summer and I don't want to give up my vacation to see a show I've seen twice before! (I wasn't around for the marriage to my mum. )

The last wedding cost me a small fortune in the across country travel and the butt-ugly banana yellow dress. Now, less then 8 years later, he wants me to do it again! I'm sorry, but after three weddings and saying of public vows NO ONE believes you any more. The vows may as well be "until sometime next week, maybe" rather then "until death do us part."

Would I really be a terrible daughter to tell him I'm not bothering with this one? I am not close to my father AT ALL, the man walked out on me when I was 2. I AM close to my grandparents, though. The problem is I already have summer vacation plans that I'd rather not cancel for the privilege of seeing my father get married again. Besides, I'm sure if I wait a while, there will be wedding #5...

 

[okeydokey]

I would just say congratulations, we wish you well, but we already have family vacation plans that week and will be unable to attend. You are under no obligation to go.

 

[Camicar]

I would have no problem saying, "Good luck and god bless, but unfortunately we are unable to attend."

 

[Chicago526]

Um, yeah. Congrats, a nice gift, and regrets that you have plans that can't be changed. But you're looking forward to the pictures and video! That's what I'd say.

 

[ford family]

Could you not just promise to get to the next one instead?

ford family

 

[dismom2]

I would have no problem saying, "Good luck and god bless, but unfortunately we are unable to attend."

I agree. And I really don't know why people have to have a wedding when it's the 3rd or 4th marriage. The part about him leaving you when you were two makes me think even more that you shouldn't feel bad at all for not going--but that's just how I would feel. I would just wish them well, send a card, but tell him you are unable to go---you already have plans in place.

 

[sbell111]

Just tell him that you can't make this one, but you definitely will try to be there for the next one or the one after.

 

[ols386]

I think I'd politely tell him that you are not able to come to his wedding, and leave it at that.

 

[minniecarousel]

Why even try to justify going/not going? Be polite, but let him know that you already have vacation plans and have a limited number of vacation days available. That's the truth.

 

[Darcy03231]

I would just say congratulations, we wish you well, but we already have family vacation plans that week and will be unable to attend. You are under no obligation to go.

That's what I'd do.

 

[castleview]

Yeah, I'd skip it and not feel guilty. Is this his fiance's first marriage? I can't think of any other reason as to why he'd want a big wedding. Heck, I don't think a big wedding is necessary for a first marriage!

 

[Kathi OD]

Could you not just promise to get to the next one instead?

ford family

 

[Stacerita]

Could you not just promise to get to the next one instead?

ford family

I have an aunt who is on number 5. Granted she's been with him for almost 15 years, but still. I didn't go to that one because its just crazy. We all know she is just trying to marry "up". He is a great guy, but 5 marriges? Please.

I would just tell him, that you can't make it.

 

[Saphire]

I am not close to my father AT ALL, the man walked out on me when I was 2.

That would be my dealbreaker. Send them a wedding card wishing them well, and tell him the truth nicely...you have other plans. If his feelings are hurt, so be it, I am sure you carry around plenty from his abandonment.

 

[shortbun]

Send a card and a small but sentimental(one that could be interpreted that way anyway) gift. Say, 'I'm so sorry Dad, we already are out of vacation time with what we've planned. Why don't you guys come visit us sometime soon?'

Seriously, good luck.

 

[elgerber]

I would not go either. My mom just divorced #3 last year, and is now planning to move in with a new man in a couple of months and my thoughts are the same as yours.

 

[Disney Doll]

Why even try to justify going/not going? Be polite, but let him know that you already have vacation plans and have a limited number of vacation days available. That's the truth.

I agree with this.

The truth is best.

 

[EthansMom]

I agree with the others. Why the angst? Just say, "Congratulations, Dad! I'm sorry I can't be there but I have a limited number of vacation days and already had travel plans."

 

[Camicar]

.

 

[Michelle67]

My dad is on his fourth marriage. Longest lasting one so far. But maybe he's slowing down in his old age.