Single woman and men make good Foster parents! as well as adoptive parents!
The main goal of an agency is NOT to find a child for you.. but to find YOU as a match for a child.
There are many pros and cons to being a Foster parent. You should contact you local adoption agencies in your area. You can go public, ie. county social service agencies or private, Aspira etc.
You would go to classes for both options. The classes are VERY informative. Speaking to a social worker will help you know what you are getting into if you should decide to Foster, Fost-dopt or Adopt a child.
We did the Fost-dopt route. Our dd was a foster child who was to be available for adoption once her birthparents parental rights were terminated. We dealt with county adoption agency. It was the right fit for us and for her. Our process took only 5 months from the time we made our first call to social service to the day dd was placed with us. We are a bi racial family.. and there was a huge need for bi racial families... so we were put at the top of the list. We took our Fost-dopt classes, which was 6 weeks of 1x/wk 3 hour class. We had to be licensed as a Foster Family... which means you have several interviews with Social Services, Home Study, Home Safety inspection... they tell you all the necessities of the inspection so you have time to make any changes.. ie. locked box for meds. Reams of paperwork.... but it is important.
We filled out a form that was basically what we would and would not accept in a child. and ya I know that sounds callus... but it really makes you think. It listed things like... ADHD, AIDS, HIV+,
Cystic Fibrosis, Mental retardation, nose picking, bedwetting, thumbsucking, Heart problems, psychiatric problems, sexual abuse victims, possible non-bonding child, shrill voice, contact with biological family members, contact with previous foster family, developmental delays, anorexia, compulsive obsessive behavior, you get the idea......
and you would choose 0-5 non acceptance-possible acceptance-fully accept. And it is really hard to mark the 0... but you must really be honest with yourself.... for the childs sake. And we learned that is is OK to mark the 0.
Medical physicals are given, letters by friends and family are written. Once all things are aok and you know beurocracy is huge.... you wait for THE CALL... and THE CALL is a BIG DEAL..... "Joan we have a child we would like to discuss with you and hubbie regarding placement"... YAY!! For us it was a done deal... A schedule was set up with the Foster mom for 4 visits prior to taking her home for good. She was 20 months at the time and it all went smooth as silk. 1 month later her parents rights were terminated (they never had visitation) one year later we went to see the judge for finalization of adoption. YAY!
Would I do it again?? Definitely!!!!!
I hope this gives you a little insight into a Fost-dopt situation. States and agencies vary ..... but I say CALL and set up an appointment..... get the facts before you make your decision.
I forgot to add... it is my experience that to foster or adopt you do NOT need to own a home, be rich, be of a certain faith etc... You do need to have a constant income source, a home that will be able to meet the needs of children, and a support system of friends/family. Oh and the ability to love a child unconditionally.....
Best wishes!
!!
But.. she is so much calmer this time around... I put out some feelers to the fost-adopt agency here in New York... and they called me yesterday to let me know that they are sending out the applications... so... we shall see... Happy Holidays to you all!!
