Former Dis Brides- What you would and wouldn't do again

[momplus3]

All of the ways I incorporated my late mother into the wedding

I would love to know the different ways that you incorporated your mom into the wedding. My mom passed away on May 26 , 2009 and our wedding is on September 16, 2009.

 

[lurkyloo]

I would love to know the different ways that you incorporated your mom into the wedding. My mom passed away on May 26 , 2009 and our wedding is on September 16, 2009.

Not the OP, but what I did was play one of my mother's favorite songs in the middle of the processional - after the groom's parents and before the groomsmen, so nobody walked down the aisle during her song. My dad and I shared a very tender moment listening to it before we all proceeded.

I also had a locket attached to the clasp of my necklace that had pictures of my mom in it.

 

[dhay]

I would love to know the different ways that you incorporated your mom into the wedding. My mom passed away on May 26 , 2009 and our wedding is on September 16, 2009.

I think we all have some good ideas. Here is what I did.

Empty seat next to my Dad and he walked me down holding a yellow rose (my mom's fav. When she passed away my Dad brother and I each placed a yellow rose in her coffin along with a letter we each wrote to be cremated with her)

When asked who gives their blessing Dad said Her mother and I do and placed the yellow rose on her seat

I wore one her rings I inherited that has her birtstones in it and I wore pearl earrings which is my Dad's birthstone (he is alive but I thought it was neat idea since I am who I am because of the way my parents raised me)

I walked down the aisle with Dad to a Lion King song which was her fav Disney movie.

I wore an orange orchid in my hair and my Dad had an orchid bout since my mom loved orchids and grew them

I made sure in the ceremony that she was menioned a few times

In my vows I talked about how I know she would be proud of me and how I wish DH was able to meet her

I wrote a little note to my mom that I kept in my purse all day letting her know that even though she wasn't physically there I knew she was right there with me and I was happy I was still able to share in my day with her.

I think I did some other minor things. If I remember I am happy to let you know.

Rob had a cool idea with puring a glass of champagne for the person he was rememebring and having it on the table or somethign as a placeholder and lurkyloo had a locket attached to her blue necklace.

 

[Wazzo]

Was it because of the food? Location? Water? Is that normal? Palm trees?

Unfortunately, I think it's pretty normal for the area. Water bugs/American cockroaches/Palmetto bugs are super common. I remember during a recent December trip there were four of us sitting on a bench on the Yacht Club's boardwalk, and I felt something on my feet. It was a giant bug! For the rest of our time on the bench, the four of us (all adults) sat there with our legs straight out and feet off the ground! We must have looked like idiots!

 

[rumrunnergirl]

.

 

[ChocoKat]

Wonderful topic, great pointers!
Thanks OP for suggesting it and thanks to all the past Disney brides for all the great info!

 

[Goldeelox9]

I would love to know the different ways that you incorporated your mom into the wedding. My mom passed away on May 26 , 2009 and our wedding is on September 16, 2009.

I had a locket tied in my bouquet with a picture of me and my mom. At my sister's wedding she had Yellow roses (my mom's favorite flowers) on the seat my mom would have sat in and every time I looked over that way I cried. I wanted something personal and not in full view. My sister also played a song, and her and my dad danced to it and invited everyone who knew and loved my mom to join in.

As for what I would have done differantly..........I would have cruised for a week instead of 4 nights and I would have brought my own photographer....Disney dropped the ball on the picture department on the cruise!

 

[PrincessShea]

Glad I did

1. Had outside photographers. I don't even have the images yet and I am happy I spent the extra money. The Disney DP and honeymoon session photos leave so much to be desired, I am glad at least some of my photos will be good.

2. Had Donald and Daisy. We decided to give up the MK photoshoot. I'm glad I did because Disney Photography is just so...ugh...I don't even have the words. I am mad enough about spending $600 on DP photos, I cannot imagine how crazy I would be about $1000 bad photos. Regardless, with that money we got Donald/Daisy instead. It was very Disney and fun. It's not for everyone, but for my family, it worked.

3. Had a dessert party. This was the funnest part of the wedding. I am so glad we did it. If I did it again and didn't have the money, I would save and wait until I did. I would have the ceremony at a courthouse and forgo the entire DFTW shebang if that's what it took to have a DP.

4. Put the glow sticks and water misters in welcome bags. The glow sticks were fun for the dessert party. The water misters were a life-saver during the "honeymoon" where I played tour guide.

5. Had dinner at Bluezoo. I debated early on about switching to a Wishes wedding just so I could have a private banquet. I even had DFTW draw up a mock proposal. But then I started seeing all the extra stuff I had to add to get up to $10,000. I know people hate the Swan/Dolphin here but I like it. The food was good. The room already looked nice and didn't require all the extra decor a ballroom would. It was on the Boardwalk, as was everything else.

Wish I did differently

1. Wish I was commando and controlling during the dessert party. I had to have Disney Photography for the DP and the pictures are not good. There are basically no shots of the atmosphere. Even though it was at sunset, all the family shots were done facing the crowd at Morocco...rather than the setting sun. So our faces are totally washed out and the background looks horrible. There are literally 6 candid shots of my sister; and none of me or DH . Our fireworks pictures are either a. very awkward or b. blurry. We were standing like soldiers because the photographer told us to stand still. So we are in the same horrible pose for almost all the pictures. We were not directed at all in how to stand.

It really angers me because my advice in hindsight is to take control and basically dictate to the photographer what to do...but at the same time I enjoyed being able to relax and "be" at my DP rather than doing someone else's job. So it's a catch-22. You can either spend an hour not having fun and being the photographer or you can be present at your party and have fun but get crappy photos.

2. Put more effort/thought into flower colors. Again in hindsight looking at my amateur pictures, a lot of my flowers/decor did not match. Many different shades of pink and purple...but not exact matches.

3. Had a real honeymoon. We really didn't have one. We had a family vacation instead . It's very difficult and stressful being "in charge" and basically being a tour guide for a group of adults...especially when people don't realize if you want to do everything, twice, in Disney IN JUNE; you have to do what I say when I say it.

4. Had the wedding in the Wedding Pavilion. I didn't want to spend another $1000 but if spending the money eliminates the stress about rain, it's worth it. It did not rain for me, but it was very stressful worrying about it.

5. Not had so much food. At my dinner, I had an amuse course, a seafood platter course, an appetizer, salad, and entree. This was AFTER cake, and BEFORE a dessert party. Too much food. If I could do it again, I would have an appetizer and entree, and that's it.

6. Not had a bar at the DP. Not worth it. No one drank. It was too hot and everyone was too full.

7. Bought a powder compact or something. Now just from reading countless PJs and TRs, I know my wedding is an exception because it was in June.

So when everyone tells you how wonderful their makeup artist was and how they were flawless for 12 hours...just keep in mind that it isn't hard to do when it's 70 degrees Now when you're wedding is on a 94 degree day with jungle like humidity...well, you'll see my pictures eventually. The makeup did NOT stay flawless all day. Everyone had sweat pouring down them at the DP and I looked doubly worse than everyone else because I had so much makeup/grease pouring down my face. I wish I bought some powder or had a napkin or something.

8. Not wasted money on certain things. This is another thing I go back and forth on because I enjoyed them all but I don't think the guests appreciated them as much. The Chocolate place cards. I thought these were so cool and would be a huge hit. No one really even mentioned them. The Mickey fans. Again, same thing. No one seemed to appreciate their cuteness and in fact, I think I have ALL OF THEM. I figured at least our moms would be sentimental and keep them...uh, no And finally, the suitcase tins with custom MMs in them. Once again, I thought at least our moms would appreciate them. Again, not really. Save your money

 

[dhay]

Glad I did

1. Had outside photographers. I don't even have the images yet and I am happy I spent the extra money. The Disney DP and honeymoon session photos leave so much to be desired, I am glad at least some of my photos will be good.

2. Had Donald and Daisy. We decided to give up the MK photoshoot. I'm glad I did because Disney Photography is just so...ugh...I don't even have the words. I am mad enough about spending $600 on DP photos, I cannot imagine how crazy I would be about $1000 bad photos. Regardless, with that money we got Donald/Daisy instead. It was very Disney and fun. It's not for everyone, but for my family, it worked.

I agree with you We gave up the MK photoshoot too. But I do think your pic in your siggie is soooo pretty It really is a great one. And I hate the S/D hotel but I have nuthin against their restaurants lol! Bluezoo is awesome.

Wish I did differently


8. Not wasted money on certain things. This is another thing I go back and forth on because I enjoyed them all but I don't think the guests appreciated them as much. The Chocolate place cards. I thought these were so cool and would be a huge hit. No one really even mentioned them. The Mickey fans. Again, same thing. No one seemed to appreciate their cuteness and in fact, I think I have ALL OF THEM. I figured at least our moms would be sentimental and keep them...uh, no And finally, the suitcase tins with custom MMs in them. Once again, I thought at least our moms would appreciate them. Again, not really. Save your money

ITA! I think as brides we think all this stuff is so cute and awesome and clever but honestly take a step back and think back to the last wedding you were a guest at where you received a favor that you still have displayed prominently in your house today.......yeah.....I am still thinking! Although I figured everyone would have eaten the chocolate placecards!!!

 

[PrincessShea]

ITA! I think as brides we think all this stuff is so cute and awesome and clever but honestly take a step back and think back to the last wedding you were a guest at where you received a favor that you still have displayed prominently in your house today.......yeah.....I am still thinking! Although I figured everyone would have eaten the chocolate placecards!!!

Amen, amen. Like I said, if MY MOM didn't even have a sentimental attachment to them, your regular guest definitely will not! At least I only had to buy 10 of everything. If I had 30 guests...wow what a waste of money it all would have been.

 

[tiggerrifficheidi]

1. Wish I was commando and controlling during the dessert party. I had to have Disney Photography for the DP and the pictures are not good. There are basically no shots of the atmosphere. Even though it was at sunset, all the family shots were done facing the crowd at Morocco...rather than the setting sun. So our faces are totally washed out and the background looks horrible. There are literally 6 candid shots of my sister; and none of me or DH . Our fireworks pictures are either a. very awkward or b. blurry. We were standing like soldiers because the photographer told us to stand still. So we are in the same horrible pose for almost all the pictures. We were not directed at all in how to stand.

It really angers me because my advice in hindsight is to take control and basically dictate to the photographer what to do...but at the same time I enjoyed being able to relax and "be" at my DP rather than doing someone else's job. So it's a catch-22. You can either spend an hour not having fun and being the photographer or you can be present at your party and have fun but get crappy photos.

I struggled with the same thing, and I had the Roots! (our contract was signed before the magical October date). The picture I do have are GORGEOUS at the Welcome Dinner, but I don't have many of the guests. I think they didn't want to run around and be obtrusive putting flashes in everyone's faces...but I wish they had! At least once for every table.

Even at the wedding, my pics are wonderful, but I wish I had more pics of me with my BMs and some posed pics of the coach. Problem is, like you said, it's fun to relax and enjoy your wedding! Honestly, for me, it was only after that I said "WHY DIDN'T I ASK FOR THAT SHOT???"

Advice: you're not going to remember to ask for what you want the day of the wedding! Provide a list before hand and be specific (my big mistake). And then assign someone to be the Picture Enforcer

 

[meryll83]

Glad I did

[5. Had dinner at Bluezoo. I debated early on about switching to a Wishes wedding just so I could have a private banquet. I even had DFTW draw up a mock proposal. But then I started seeing all the extra stuff I had to add to get up to $10,000. I know people hate the Swan/Dolphin here but I like it. The food was good. The room already looked nice and didn't require all the extra decor a ballroom would. It was on the Boardwalk, as was everything else.

Is there a private room at Bluezoo, or were you in the main restaurant?

 

[emilymad]

[Wish I did differently

1. Wish I was commando and controlling during the dessert party. I had to have Disney Photography for the DP and the pictures are not good. There are basically no shots of the atmosphere. Even though it was at sunset, all the family shots were done facing the crowd at Morocco...rather than the setting sun. So our faces are totally washed out and the background looks horrible. There are literally 6 candid shots of my sister; and none of me or DH . Our fireworks pictures are either a. very awkward or b. blurry. We were standing like soldiers because the photographer told us to stand still. So we are in the same horrible pose for almost all the pictures. We were not directed at all in how to stand.

It really angers me because my advice in hindsight is to take control and basically dictate to the photographer what to do...but at the same time I enjoyed being able to relax and "be" at my DP rather than doing someone else's job. So it's a catch-22. You can either spend an hour not having fun and being the photographer or you can be present at your party and have fun but get crappy photos.

Thanks for your comments on this. I am going to have to use DPS as well for my dessert party and I am worried about it. Did you feel it was worth having pictures in general even if they didn't turn out that great? What about paying for the CD? Would you have still gotten the CD after seeing your pictures?

 

[arubio0801]

I can finally add mine


Wish I did

1.A dessert party
2.A earlier wedding we didnt get to the contemp intill 12:45am and had to wake up at 4am for the phoot shoot
3.Would of done the photo shoot two days after the wedding
4. More flowers in the center pieces and taller ones more flowers in general
5. done transportaion for the guest we ended up taking it out at the end
6. DH says to have the lamb as the app

Glad I did

1.Used Randy for our photographer!!!! I couldnt recommend him enough!! He was great my whole family loved him! And his pictures are great!
2.The cakes they came out great I'm glad I gave them control
3. I'm happy that I asked for a new planner when ours was horriblly rude!
4. That we payed extra for the nice chairs and the aisle runner
5. The carriage! It was totally worth it!

Wish I didn't do

1. The chocolate fountain it was a HUGE waste!! The chocolate was watery and just BAD!
2. The weekend bags! Nobody said thank you for them or anything nobody cares and just throws them away
3. The photo shoot the next day it was a pain!
4. The programs we have a BUNCH left!
5. Used the florist I keep on going back and forth because I liked what they did but I think for what we paid it was going to be more. The girls flowers were falling apart before the ceremony even started!

 

[purple250]

I can finally add mine


Wish I did

1.A dessert party
2.A earlier wedding we didnt get to the contemp intill 12:45am and had to wake up at 4am for the phoot shoot
3.Would of done the photo shoot two days after the wedding
4. More flowers in the center pieces and taller ones more flowers in general
5. done transportaion for the guest we ended up taking it out at the end
6. DH says to have the lamb as the app

Glad I did

1.Used Randy for our photographer!!!! I couldnt recommend him enough!! He was great my whole family loved him! And his pictures are great!
2.The cakes they came out great I'm glad I gave them control
3. I'm happy that I asked for a new planner when ours was horriblly rude!
4. That we payed extra for the nice chairs and the aisle runner
5. The carriage! It was totally worth it!

Wish I didn't do

1. The chocolate fountain it was a HUGE waste!! The chocolate was watery and just BAD!
2. The weekend bags! Nobody said thank you for them or anything nobody cares and just throws them away
3. The photo shoot the next day it was a pain!
4. The programs we have a BUNCH left!
5. Used the florist I keep on going back and forth because I liked what they did but I think for what we paid it was going to be more. The girls flowers were falling apart before the ceremony even started!

I also used the same florist you did for my personal floral for my wedding and it was a disaster!! All of my floral was wilted and brown when it got delivered. The owner didn't deliver it personally so when we called him to explain the situation he was so rude on the phone and was refusing to fix the bouquets. In the end, they had to remake all of them...my bouquet, my 2 bridesmaids, the mother's bouquets, 4 out of the 6 bouts, and my flower wand. The owner personally delivered the new floral to me and did admit that they looked horrible orginally. The second ones weren't that great looking either. The bridemaids bouquets were coming apart. They weren't even the right colors because they ran out of the specific roses I orginally asked for and had to go and by new ones. I hardly got any pictures taken before the ceremony because of it and was also a half hour late for the ceremony because I had to wait for the new ones to be made. It was such a mess! I ended up not using the new bridal bouquet they made me because it still wasn't what I asked for and the quality of it didn't live up to what they promised. Disney floral was able to make me a bridal bouquet at the last minute. However, I must say..I loved your bouquet! They did a nice job with yours so I thought maybe my wedding was just an off day for them...Now, that I read what you wrote about your bridesmaids' bouquets, I'm thinking this happens with them a lot. I hope no other disbrides opt to use them.

 

[PrincessShea]

Is there a private room at Bluezoo, or were you in the main restaurant?

There is a private room. Those doors close.

I struggled with the same thing, and I had the Roots!

Oh Heidi your pictures are stunning! And at least they are technically perfect...mine are just so amateur, wait until you see. But I totally know what you mean. You would think that a WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER would get at least the basic shots. I'll say it again...there are SIX, count 'em SIX, candid shots of my freaking sister, and not a single one of the bride .

Thanks for your comments on this. I am going to have to use DPS as well for my dessert party and I am worried about it. Did you feel it was worth having pictures in general even if they didn't turn out that great? What about paying for the CD? Would you have still gotten the CD after seeing your pictures?

Yes I would buy it again. Why? Because what is the alternative? My sister and DH's sister took some snapshots but obviously there are limitations to what a regular ole digital snapshot camera can do. There is no way they could have gotten any fireworks shots. The Disney photographer took about 15 fireworks shots and 1 turned out ok (the one in my sig)...it is however totally washed out and the firework is mostly smoke, but good enough And not every single picture is horrible. There is a good one of the food, the six of my sister are pretty good. There are some good posed shots of DH/sister, DH/best man...I guess my biggest gripe is that the fireworks shots were very awkwardly posed and there are few pictures of me and DH, aside from the fireworks shots.

So I would practice your pose in front of the mirror with DH beforehand. And I would just get in the photographers face and tell him to take pictures of you with the guests.

 

[meryll83]

There is a private room. Those doors close.

Ooh that's interesting, how many does it seat?
Is it booked as a normal ADR through Disney?

Apologies for all the questions, I just need to find a backup for our first choice over the next week or so, just in case, and this looks really smart!

 

[arubio0801]

I also used the same florist you did for my personal floral for my wedding and it was a disaster!! All of my floral was wilted and brown when it got delivered. The owner didn't deliver it personally so when we called him to explain the situation he was so rude on the phone and was refusing to fix the bouquets. In the end, they had to remake all of them...my bouquet, my 2 bridesmaids, the mother's bouquets, 4 out of the 6 bouts, and my flower wand. The owner personally delivered the new floral to me and did admit that they looked horrible orginally. The second ones weren't that great looking either. The bridemaids bouquets were coming apart. They weren't even the right colors because they ran out of the specific roses I orginally asked for and had to go and by new ones. I hardly got any pictures taken before the ceremony because of it and was also a half hour late for the ceremony because I had to wait for the new ones to be made. It was such a mess! I ended up not using the new bridal bouquet they made me because it still wasn't what I asked for and the quality of it didn't live up to what they promised. Disney floral was able to make me a bridal bouquet at the last minute. However, I must say..I loved your bouquet! They did a nice job with yours so I thought maybe my wedding was just an off day for them...Now, that I read what you wrote about your bridesmaids' bouquets, I'm thinking this happens with them a lot. I hope no other disbrides opt to use them.

Hi yes Ana told me about you when she found out I used the same florist I was very surprised too. The owner delivered ours to make sure. I'm soo sorry this happened to you thats horrible I have to say we didnt go over any details intill a few days before the wedding and I was soo mad about that! I couldnt believe it so I reqested a sample when we got there and we went and everything looked good there. It's like after they got there money they really cared less. It makes me mad that we spent so much money and got soo less. Ya I hope not I know another disbride used them thats how I found out about them but hers looked amazing thats why we used them Oh well I guess right? We can't do anything about it now

 

[Malibelle]

Glad I :

I really woudn't change much but here goes
-Didn't stress over my wedding
- Chose March as my wedding date, weather was beautiful!
-did the welcome bags
- had rehersal dinner at Ohana and invited more than just the wedding party. It was such a fun time with everyone.
-I skyped my ceremony for my grandmother to watch who couldn't be there
- brought my own florist..saved a ton of money and got to decorate the pavilion excactly how I wanted.
-chose the rolls royce and not the carriage
-had our reception at ADH
- Had Mickey and Minnie come to the reception
-contacted the DJ I wanted in advance of Disney so he penciled me in. We had DJ Scooter who was fantastic and had everone dancing from the minute the special dance where over.
-had a dessert part in Italy. 2 years later its still the talk of our family and friends!
- chose Randy Chapman for photos
- Had a videographer. Although I thought we wouldn't we still watch our video and people request to see it.
-Took a group photo of the entire wedding perty and guest at the reception. we have it blown up in our dining room now and everyone that walks by comments on it.
-MK PHoto shoot even thought I thought its too much money. I am glad we have the pictures.
- provided transporation for everyone

Wish I didn't:
-I asked for certain photos taking with my bridesmaid. or provide a list to Randy.
-We had a little more time alone after the wedding.
- thats it, this is a short list.

 

[lurkyloo]

Ooh that's interesting, how many does it seat?
Is it booked as a normal ADR through Disney?

Apologies for all the questions, I just need to find a backup for our first choice over the next week or so, just in case, and this looks really smart!

Not to take this thread too far off topic but there was a thread all about this just a few weeks ago:

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2176940