For those who are not morning people for the parks, I need your help.

[GusGusTheMouse]

I want the grandkids to spread their wings a little. Mom wouldn't want to plan ADRs or FP+s. She would probably be flustered navigating the parks without help, too.

Does Mom not like schedules? If she does not, then you may want to reconsider. You seem really stressed out about trying to get the most done out of this trip, justifiably because you want the children to experience as much as possible. But to do that, WDW really does require you to stick to a somewhat inflexible schedule. FP+s and ADRs can make it difficult to do things on a whim, and then you add in the problem you have been talking about, which is the even more limited park time due to sleeping in. Do the children do well separated from their mother? I ask because, from your description of her, Mom does not seem to be someone that would probably enjoy a fast-paced, scheduled-out WDW trip. If she is the type to really only enjoy lounging beach vacations, then I cannot think of a more opposite type of vacation than WDW. Especially if value is a top thing on your mind.

 

[memo10]

For the most part, my family and I don't enter the parks until 5pm. There are evenings where we get more accomplished in two hours than most people do in an entire day. One time we saw Anna and Elsa, Cinderella and Rapunzel, and Ariel in a span of 20 minutes. (Back before they moved to Epcot and were still a long wait at MK). Don't underestimate a park closing! If the kids aren't on a set schedule and stay at home, there really isn't any reason that they can't adjust to a later bedtime for the trip.

 

[Magpie]

I think my biggest fear is mom will want a late start in the afternoon and then call it quits early evening after dinner. That leaves a very small window for the parks and it's the peak hours of the day for most people; so, it will be the most crowded. I think her happiness will come from watching TV or being on her phone more than being in the parks. She's not sickly, but she's very passive about everything. I don't have a passive bone in my body. Hence, this is the conflict I'm facing with this Disney trip.

I've read over this thread, and to me it really sounds like you want to take your grandkids to Disney, but not their mom.

And that's fine! I have family members I won't take to Disney, either, because it would put too much stress on our relationship. I also have family members who believe that if they're paying the bills, they get to call all the shots. Fortunately, I'm experienced enough now to be able to politely decline gifts like these. It would be much harder to say no, though, if it was presented as a gift for my kids.

I also recognize that your husband isn't in great health, and you're worried that he might miss out on the opportunity to see Disney with the kids.

But, if at all possible, I still think you might be better to wait a few years and take the children alone, when they're old enough to travel without their mother. That way you can set whatever schedule you like.

If that's not possible, then you're just going to have to adjust your expectations. This is your grandchildren's mother! And she's on vacation, too. So, forget about how much you need to accomplish to justify the price of the tickets. Once it's paid, that money is gone. Focus instead of working WITH her and ensuring that everyone has a pleasant vacation, without family conflict. If she and the kids decide they want to sleep in - let them! Go spend a few hours in the parks with your husband and meet up with the family later. Discuss the options with your grandchildren's parents openly and without judgement or criticism. Respect their wishes.

If you go ahead with this trip, it will be a very different trip than the kind you're used to having. Embrace that idea, and you'll be much happier.

Remember, a gift shouldn't come with strings attached, especially emotional ones. And trying to dictate someone else's vacation plans is always a recipe for disaster.

 

[disneyvoice]

Would I go, under the circumstances?

No.

But not because there is a chance your grand-daughter might prefer to sleep in on her vacation instead of doing rope drop.

I would not go because you clearly have a personal problem with your grand-daughter for some reason.

Going to Dollywood instead doesn't sound like it will take care of the real issue.

Best wishes for whatever you choose to do.

I am suddenly more appreciative than ever for my own grandparents, who never once took me to WDW, but very clearly loved me - flaws and all.

 

[OhhBother]

I think the OP is being unnecessarily rigid. If you're going to gift something -- whether something small or something as big as a Disney vacation -- you do it with no strings attached. When you give someone a gift, it's theirs to treat as they wish. Imposing your will and other "strings attached" goes against the very spirit of gift giving.

On Christmas Eve, I'll be surprising my parents with a European cruise in the spring. What they choose to do on that trip is entirely up to them. If they never step foot off the ship at the seven ports of call, that's their choice. I just want them to have an amazing vacation on THEIR terms.

 

[nutshell]

So, what's the deal with granddaughter ? What is your fear that she won't get up early based on? Have there been any actual discussions? Past experience?

 

[Nebraska_Disney]

On Christmas Eve, I'll be surprising my parents with a European cruise in the spring. What they choose to do on that trip is entirely up to them. If they never step foot off the ship at the seven ports of call, that's their choice. I just want them to have an amazing vacation on THEIR terms.

You did not specify, but giving a person a trip they are going on "solo" vs giving them a trip you are also going on with them is an apples to oranges comparison.

 

[North of Mouse]

Yeah I'm just not into this "I hold the purse so I hold the whip" mentality.
I think OP could be surprised trying to keep 5 year olds to this kind of schedule, nevermind the adults.

Sorry, disagree! I've had 3, 5 year olds at various times, and they could handle the running better then me, or just as well.

That age is a bundle of energy! Kind of harsh, aren't we? holding the whip??? Talking here about Disney, you realize! Maybe you've never been the one paying for 4 adults plus 2 (?) boys. That's not a small hunk of change, and yes, the recipients should 'fit' in to 'somewhat' of a schedule. There has to be some compromise between rope drop and 11-1. If sleep is that important, just say so, and do it at home for free, no pressure.

For us grandparents, yes, we would talk about this in advance, make tentative plans and expectations. They wouldn't have to accept such a generous gift, you know!! Exceptions can understandably arise, of course, but grandparents need to be respected and appreciated by g'dau' trying to fit in. JMO

 

[Nebraska_Disney]

My in-laws are similar type people that think a schedule is a "suggestion" and they would remind me a great deal of the Granddaughter who can't get up/get going in the morning. Good thing the granddaughter does not have a job outside of the home as I fear it would not last long. I know of few bosses which are going to let you "wind up" as you see fit during the day. A large number of jobs require you to be at work early (7am-9am range is quite normal) and being "on" the entire time you are at work. I really don't think it is that much to ask someone to get up and enjoy WDW with me if I were footing the bill. Sounds like this person will get plenty of sleep during the normal week when not on vacation.

 

[Nebraska_Disney]

Sorry, disagree! I've had 3, 5 year olds at various times, and they could handle the running better then me, or just as well.

That age is a bundle of energy! Kind of harsh, aren't we? holding the whip??? Talking here about Disney, you realize! Maybe you've never been the one paying for 4 adults plus 2 (?) boys. That's not a small hunk of change, and yes, the recipients should 'fit' in to 'somewhat' of a schedule. There has to be some compromise between rope drop and 11-1. If sleep is that important, just say so, and do it at home for free, no pressure.

For us grandparents, yes, we would talk about this in advance, make tentative plans and expectations. They wouldn't have to accept such a generous gift, you know!! Exceptions can understandably arise, of course, but grandparents need to be respected and appreciated by g'dau' trying to fit in. JMO

I love your answer and I also love that you are coming at it from the perspective of a grandparent. Very well said !

 

[Nebraska_Disney]

I know most of us on this board are going to be very biased but really.......think about it. Sleep vs being in a WDW theme park? To me, that is a "duh" answer, especially if someone else is footing the bill. I can hardly sleep at WDW thinking about all the fun stuff planned for the next day. I joke that I need a vacation after my Disney vacations as they are go Go GO ! all the time.

 

[ArwenMarie]

I think the OP is just trying to think things through here.

OP, you said in your first post, you want a trip "without drama" The only way to get that is to go with the flow. Release control.

I think with WDW, we all have a way that we like to do Disney, but in this circumstance, it's not going to work that way. If you want the kids on this trip, you're getting their mother too, and she is a person with likes and dislikes too.

People have great Disney trips with all kinds of constraints. Let this be your "different" trip

 

[Nebraska_Disney]

[QUOTE="ArwenMarie, post: 58590581, member: 469944"
OP, you said in your first post, you want a trip "without drama" The only way to get that is to go with the flow. Release control.

[/QUOTE]

I can't even fathom being at Disney and sleeping the week away. To me, that would be the deal-breaker. Regardless of my finances, I am not going to want to foot the bill for a very expensive vacation to watch the recipients sleep away all of the park/resort/fun time that is being paid for all in advance. If that is the case, rent a beach house or similar rental property somewhere and skip the theme parks.

 

[disneycountrygirl]

Bete, it is kindness and generosity that you and your husband are thinking of this gift. There is absolutely nothing wrong with thinking through plans ahead of time and addressing possible kinks. In doing this, you are avoiding potential problems. It is wise! You've expressed a willingness to not be too rigid, and there has been some good input and things to consider on this thread.

Whatever you decide, I hope your relationships with your family are dear and enriched, that unconditional love and patience is plentiful, and that your travels with family are blessed!

 

[Babe the Blue Ox]

There are evenings where we get more accomplished in two hours than most people do in an entire day.

This is a point that most guests still fail to realize: the parks can be much less crowded in the evening than they are in the morning. The OP may find her visit to be much more enjoyable by not rushing around in the morning which would just make someone miserable.

Those boys will probably love the parks in the evening. Even when they were little, it was much easier to let my kids stay up late than to make them get up early.

 

[Magpie]

Sorry, disagree! I've had 3, 5 year olds at various times, and they could handle the running better then me, or just as well.

That age is a bundle of energy! Kind of harsh, aren't we? holding the whip??? Talking here about Disney, you realize! Maybe you've never been the one paying for 4 adults plus 2 (?) boys. That's not a small hunk of change, and yes, the recipients should 'fit' in to 'somewhat' of a schedule. There has to be some compromise between rope drop and 11-1. If sleep is that important, just say so, and do it at home for free, no pressure.

For us grandparents, yes, we would talk about this in advance, make tentative plans and expectations. They wouldn't have to accept such a generous gift, you know!! Exceptions can understandably arise, of course, but grandparents need to be respected and appreciated by g'dau' trying to fit in. JMO

I made my mother cry once, by (as kindly as possible) turning down an offer for us to travel to London together. I've also turned down her offer of a trip to Ireland, and one to Mexico, too. And gosh, it's hard!

I love my mother. I don't like making my mother cry. I don't want her to feel that I'm ungrateful of her generosity. But, the simple fact is that whenever she takes me somewhere, I very quickly start to feel like I'm the only one trying to "fit in" as you put it. There's no room for negotiation, I get very tired of playing the dutiful, obedient daughter, and my gratitude for her "gift" quickly wears thin. It's workable for an evening, but it'd be a disaster for a week long trip.

I can understand, though, why some people in my position might feel that they had to accept such a generous gift and would feel that they couldn't say no. And I also understand why the gift-giver might feel that their generosity entitles them to dictate the terms on which the gift is enjoyed.

Compromise is great, but it has to go both ways. I do wonder if the OP is truly willing to compromise and adapt her vacation plans to focus more on everyone's happiness and less on getting value for her money? If she IS, then yes, the children's mother should definitely try to meet her half way! Not necessarily out of gratitude at being given an expensive vacation, but from a simple desire to return the respect she's being shown.

If there's going to be a schedule (and yes, there probably should be at least a general one since this is Disney World), it must be a schedule which everyone has had a part in creating. It cannot be handed down from on high, even if you're the one paying for the vacation.

 

[OhhBother]

You did not specify, but giving a person a trip they are going on "solo" vs giving them a trip you are also going on with them is an apples to oranges comparison.

We'e going with the parents. So it's apples to apples.

 

[TiggerBouncy]

Regardless of my finances, I am not going to want to foot the bill for a very expensive vacation to watch the recipients sleep away all of the park/resort/fun time that is being paid for all in advance.

For what it's worth, I did this. My wife and I took her mother (a very heavy smoker) to WDW. We left the rooms very late, got to the parks late where she proceeded to spend the entire time in the park in the designated smoking area and only did a few rides and in my opinion experienced very little of what Disney had to offer.

She had a great time. I was annoyed, angry and upset because I felt like I completely wasted my money. I don't think she felt she missed out, but I KNOW how much more there was to do.

The problem is and was mine - not hers. Nonetheless, I was never really able to let that feeling go - even today many years later.

To the OP - tread carefully. As others have said - if you are gifting a vacation, it's theirs to enjoy. You need to understand that their idea of a vacation may not be yours. That's okay. Educate them on the reality of the park and how much they give up by sleeping in, but ultimately if they decide to do that, it's their choice.

That said..... it's very, very, very difficult to do because you believe you know better.

 

[ShirikiUtundu]

Kind of harsh, aren't we? holding the whip??? Talking here about Disney, you realize!

Yes I completely understand we are talking about vacation. Not some prison work camp where you have to be up at the crack of dawn. Exactly my point.

Maybe you've never been the one paying for 4 adults plus 2 (?) boys. That's not a small hunk of change, and yes, the recipients should 'fit' in to 'somewhat' of a schedule.

I don't give gifts with strings.

There has to be some compromise between rope drop and 11-1.

No argument there. The key word is 'compromise' which doesn't sound like the OP is up for.

They wouldn't have to accept such a generous gift, you know!! ... but grandparents need to be respected and appreciated...

And they probably won't at this rate. What does respect and appreciation have anything to do with topic? It is neither disrespectful nor unappreciative to want to rest a bit on vacation.

 

[ArwenMarie]

I can't even fathom being at Disney and sleeping the week away. To me, that would be the deal-breaker. Regardless of my finances, I am not going to want to foot the bill for a very expensive vacation to watch the recipients sleep away all of the park/resort/fun time that is being paid for all in advance. If that is the case, rent a beach house or similar rental property somewhere and skip the theme parks.

That's fine for you

But the definition of "no drama" as the OP mentioned in her first post, is going with the flow. That means the flow of your whole group. And it might mean letting go of your particular expectations relating to cost/value.