For parents of ADHD kids

[brookmey]

What is reasonable/ fair to expect from your child's teacher?

My 4th grade daughter was diagnosed with ADHD in mid-December. She is seeing a counselor and is taking medication. We've had a hard time finding the right dosage, so we are still in the process of tweaking her meds to find what works for her. I've talked to her teacher and explained everything.

I don't know what to do now. When DD was first diagnosed, her grades were A's and B's. Since the start of the new marking period, in January, her grades have drastically dropped, mainly due to losing homework or classroom assignments and low test grades. Looking at her tests, I see that most of her wrong answers were silly mistakes, ones that happen when you go too fast. I talked to her teacher to see if DD would do better with oral testing, thinking it would help slow her down. Her teacher said that oral testing is for kids with learning disabilities or special ed. Since DD is neither, her teacher doesn't think it's necessary for DD. She said DD is one of the brightest students she's ever had in 17 years of teaching, but her grades are not reflecting her intelligence. Obviously, that's what my concern is, so I don't understand why her teacher isn't willing to try different things to help DD's test scores improve. She has to take the statewide standardized tests in April and I'm worried that she won't pass those.

DD and I came up with a plan to help her remember her homework, but it's not working because she said she's rushed at the end of the day to gather her things and so she forgets the plan we have in place because she's in a hurry. I asked her teacher about that and her teacher said that the students only have a few minutes to collect their things because she wants to maximize their learning time.

Bottom line is, I feel like DD's teacher is not very willing to make accommodations for DD. But, I don't want to be one of those parents who expects the world to adjust to her daughter. I just want what's fair for any child with ADHD. There is no classroom behavioral chart for DD because her teacher can't meet for more than 15 minutes at a time to create one with me and she says that DD is just choosing to not behave. I'm just feeling really frustrated right now because DD's grades are now C's and D's and her peer relationships are in shambles. It's at the point now where she asks me everyday to homeschool her. I don't know where to go from here.

Some of what I don't know is how much does the medication help with the above mentioned problems? Do I now go to the school counselor with my concerns since the teacher is not helpful? Or am I expecting too much from the teacher? I'm so overwhelmed and frustrated right now I'm at a standstill because I just don't know what to do.

Usually DH is here to help, but he's an IT Project Manager working on a major project, so he's been working 60-70 hour weeks since January. The project will be over at the end of March, so he should be back to normal hours then. But, in the meantime everything is on me. Are there any good books or websites that can point me in the right direction with what to do to help DD at school and with her social skills?

Thank you so much to anyone who can help.

 

[taylor3297]

What is reasonable/ fair to expect from your child's teacher?

My 4th grade daughter was diagnosed with ADHD in mid-December. She is seeing a counselor and is taking medication. We've had a hard time finding the right dosage, so we are still in the process of tweaking her meds to find what works for her. I've talked to her teacher and explained everything.

I don't know what to do now. When DD was first diagnosed, her grades were A's and B's. Since the start of the new marking period, in January, her grades have drastically dropped, mainly due to losing homework or classroom assignments and low test grades. Looking at her tests, I see that most of her wrong answers were silly mistakes, ones that happen when you go too fast. I talked to her teacher to see if DD would do better with oral testing, thinking it would help slow her down. Her teacher said that oral testing is for kids with learning disabilities or special ed. Since DD is neither, her teacher doesn't think it's necessary for DD. She said DD is one of the brightest students she's ever had in 17 years of teaching, but her grades are not reflecting her intelligence. Obviously, that's what my concern is, so I don't understand why her teacher isn't willing to try different things to help DD's test scores improve. She has to take the statewide standardized tests in April and I'm worried that she won't pass those.

DD and I came up with a plan to help her remember her homework, but it's not working because she said she's rushed at the end of the day to gather her things and so she forgets the plan we have in place because she's in a hurry. I asked her teacher about that and her teacher said that the students only have a few minutes to collect their things because she wants to maximize their learning time.

Bottom line is, I feel like DD's teacher is not very willing to make accommodations for DD. But, I don't want to be one of those parents who expects the world to adjust to her daughter. I just want what's fair for any child with ADHD. There is no classroom behavioral chart for DD because her teacher can't meet for more than 15 minutes at a time to create one with me and she says that DD is just choosing to not behave. I'm just feeling really frustrated right now because DD's grades are now C's and D's and her peer relationships are in shambles. It's at the point now where she asks me everyday to homeschool her. I don't know where to go from here.

Some of what I don't know is how much does the medication help with the above mentioned problems? Do I now go to the school counselor with my concerns since the teacher is not helpful? Or am I expecting too much from the teacher? I'm so overwhelmed and frustrated right now I'm at a standstill because I just don't know what to do.

Usually DH is here to help, but he's an IT Project Manager working on a major project, so he's been working 60-70 hour weeks since January. The project will be over at the end of March, so he should be back to normal hours then. But, in the meantime everything is on me. Are there any good books or websites that can point me in the right direction with what to do to help DD at school and with her social skills?

Thank you so much to anyone who can help.

Talk to the counselor and get a 504 plan written in order to help your daughter. It sounds like your dd is rushing through her tests. This could be because she is having trouble focusing, or she just wants to get it done.

In the 504 you can put in accommodations that will help your dd. In this case, I would ask for extra time when taking a test. This can also help with your end of year state mandated tests. Also, I would put in that dd needs extra time getting her things together at the end of the day. This way she won't be rushed and can focus on what she needs to get.

Does your dd have a planner? If so, have her write down her assignments each day in the planner. Then have her get the teacher to initial it each day. It would be your dd's responsibility to get it signed. It may take a few days for her to get used to doing this. This will hep you see what her homework is each day and help her keep on track.

As to the oral test, I am with the teacher on this one. Oral test are geared more for students who have trouble reading and/or writing.

Oh and on the 504, you don't have to prove anything, you just need to request it. The 504 has to be written each year if one is needed.

I hope this helps. If you have questions, please feel free to PM me.

Good luck. Y'all will get through this.

 

[alicat8]

Does she have a 504 plan for accommodations? I'm a teacher-in a good school with good teachers who bend over backwards on a regular basis, but I realize this isn't the case everywhere. Having a 504 holds the schools/teachers legally responsible for making accommodations.

 

[alicat8]

Whoops-posted at the same time

 

[Liberty Belle]

It varies so much with teachers and what they're willing to do.

I honestly think the best bet would be to get an IEP for your daughter. You get to decide on what accommodations are needed (along with your daughter's teacher, the psychologist, etc) and they HAVE to do it, then. Some common accommodations are longer time to do tests or finish work, reduced workload (especially if the child shows mastery), movement breaks, organizational help, etc.

 

[lauradis]

The other thing you have to worry about is 504 and IEP will be part of her school records and follower her whole school career.

 

[Liberty Belle]

The other thing you have to worry about is 504 and IEP will be part of her school records and follower her whole school career.

And? Are you saying that is a good thing or a bad thing?

ETA: just realized you said "worry," so I'm assuming you think it's bad. Having a 504 or an IEP is not a punishment. It's nothing to be ashamed about and it's nothing to worry about. It's there to help the student, not hurt him. Futhermore, just because you have an IEP or a 504 doesn't mean you will always need one.

 

[taylor3297]

And? Are you saying that is a good thing or a bad thing?

ETA: just realized you said "worry," so I'm assuming you think it's bad. Having a 504 or an IEP is not a punishment. It's nothing to be ashamed about and it's nothing to worry about. It's there to help the student, not hurt him. Futhermore, just because you have an IEP or a 504 doesn't mean you will always need one.

504 has to be done every year. So if there is a year a person doesn't need it, then no 504 is done.

If you go through the process of an IEP, a re-evaluation should be done every 3 years. If the child does not need services any longer, than the child is exited from the program. Yes it will be in their file, but it is not a bad thing.

 

[Liberty Belle]

504 has to be done every year. So if there is a year a person doesn't need it, then no 504 is done.

If you go through the process of an IEP, a re-evaluation should be done every 3 years. If the child does not need services any longer, than the child is exited from the program. Yes it will be in their file, but it is not a bad thing.

Yes, that's what I'm saying.

 

[lauradis]

And? Are you saying that is a good thing or a bad thing?

ETA: just realized you said "worry," so I'm assuming you think it's bad. Having a 504 or an IEP is not a punishment. It's nothing to be ashamed about and it's nothing to worry about. It's there to help the student, not hurt him. Futhermore, just because you have an IEP or a 504 doesn't mean you will always need one.

she is worried about her child. i never said it was bad or good its called info from my personal experience with a child that had an IEP. so instead of repeating advise other posters gave. I added something new.

info is power.

 

[Liberty Belle]

she is worried about her child. i never said it was bad or good its called info from my personal experience with a child that had an IEP. so instead of repeating advise other posters gave. I added something new.

info is power.

But I'm confused about what info you're giving. What happened with the child you know? It's honestly not supposed to be a bad thing to have an IEP or 504 when you need one. I'm wondering how that has hurt a child?

 

[writermommy6]

Ok I somewhat agree with the PP about IEP and such but what caught my attention was the fact that prior to being diagnosed or at least at the beginning of it your daughter was an A B student and them suddenly her grades took a nosedive.
That sort of thing would make me consider the medication is a problem or perhaps she is being treated differently because of her diagnosis.
Yes I think the teacher should be more helpful but I also would consider other things.

 

[LisaR]

You said she was an A\B student, was tested, diagnosed, given medication and she hasn't been doing well since January. Why was she tested to begin with? It sounds like she was a good student before the testing.

 

[brookmey]

Thank you for the suggestion of a 504. I'm definitely going to look into that.

Ok I somewhat agree with the PP about IEP and such but what caught my attention was the fact that prior to being diagnosed or at least at the beginning of it your daughter was an A B student and them suddenly her grades took a nosedive. That sort of thing would make me consider the medication is a problem or perhaps she is being treated differently because of her diagnosis. Yes I think the teacher should be more helpful but I also would consider other things.

Medication is something I've thought about, too. But I don't know how much the medication is supposed to affect her focus, forgetfulness, disorganization, etc. It's hard to make a plan to help her when she forgets the plan. LOL

I have also been concerned about DD being treated differently, but I don't know for sure. A friend of mine occasionally subs at school and just last week she had DD's class. In the lesson plans notes left by the teacher, she did list DD as one of the problem students. The note said DD was unruly, disruptive and not liked by her peers because they saw her as a troublemaker. My friend told me about this out of concern that DD is not being treated fairly by her teacher and that the teacher had labeled her without consideration for DD's diagnosis. I know that before the medication DD was a disruptive student, but her teacher has admitted that DD has calmed down some and she can see DD is trying. So I don't know if this is a case of the teacher telling me what sounds good instead of the truth or not. That's part of my frustration. I'm definitely going to contact the counselor instead of doing everything through the teacher.

 

[htmom]

OK. First I would talk to the school counselor to see if a 504 or IEP would be possible. Ask what she feels is best. Tell her the issues your daughter is having. Truthfully you need to be careful with what is said around your daughter too. I can't tell you now many kiddos I have been around that have heard their parents make excuses and then the kiddo repeats that they can't do something because of their ADHD or whatever. (Watched it first hand with my son who had a teacher say to me, in front of ds, that she knows he has a hard time staying organized, it quickly became an excuse for him)

Until that all gets in place is there any way you could pick her up at the end of the day? It will give her more time to get everything together and she might not feel so frustrated.

 

[Liberty Belle]

OK. First I would talk to the school counselor to see if a 504 or IEP would be possible. Ask what she feels is best. Tell her the issues your daughter is having. Truthfully you need to be careful with what is said around your daughter too. I can't tell you now many kiddos I have been around that have heard their parents make excuses and then the kiddo repeats that they can't do something because of their ADHD or whatever. (Watched it first hand with my son who had a teacher say to me, in front of ds, that she knows he has a hard time staying organized, it quickly became an excuse for him)

Until that all gets in place is there any way you could pick her up at the end of the day? It will give her more time to get everything together and she might not feel so frustrated.

I agree, but also a child knows what his limitations are and if he knows what his disorder is, he's going to know how that affects him. My son knows that having ADHD makes it harder for him to be organized and stay on topic, etc sometimes, but he also knows he has to continually work on it. Just because it can be attributed to ADHD doesn't mean it's ok to just give up.

 

[htmom]

Thank you for the suggestion of a 504. I'm definitely going to look into that.

Medication is something I've thought about, too. But I don't know how much the medication is supposed to affect her focus, forgetfulness, disorganization, etc. It's hard to make a plan to help her when she forgets the plan. LOL

I have also been concerned about DD being treated differently, but I don't know for sure. A friend of mine occasionally subs at school and just last week she had DD's class. In the lesson plans notes left by the teacher, she did list DD as one of the problem students. The note said DD was unruly, disruptive and not liked by her peers because they saw her as a troublemaker. My friend told me about this out of concern that DD is not being treated fairly by her teacher and that the teacher had labeled her without consideration for DD's diagnosis. I know that before the medication DD was a disruptive student, but her teacher has admitted that DD has calmed down some and she can see DD is trying. So I don't know if this is a case of the teacher telling me what sounds good instead of the truth or not. That's part of my frustration. I'm definitely going to contact the counselor instead of doing everything through the teacher.

And I think that was really unprofessional of your friend. Teachers make quick notes to each other so that subs know the min they walk in a class the basic layout of kids and how they get along. I know it wasn't a "nice" thing for her to say but it does help the sub know what's going on.

 

[htmom]

If the sub had an issue with the note she should tell her boss. Not you.

 

[brookmey]

You said she was an A\B student, was tested, diagnosed, given medication and she hasn't been doing well since January. Why was she tested to begin with? It sounds like she was a good student before the testing.

We had her tested because of the behavioral problems at school and with her classmates. She has always struggled with impulse control, interrupting, moving 100mph, etc. Her good grades have been the 1 thing that doesn't fit, but according to her therapist, it's because DD's intelligence was able to overcome all the other stuff. That's what's so hard right now, how all of a sudden, her grades have dropped so much. Her teacher says it's because of missing assignments (which DD has admitted to losing) and low test scores. I will help DD at home study for her quiz and she knows her stuff. But she races through the test, so she's making silly mistakes. But the more I think about it, maybe her plummeting grades also have something to do with the classroom environment and her relationship with her teacher.

 

[Ceila]

Haven't you discussed the behavioral changes that should be expected from the medication with your child's doctor? I don't understand why you don't know what to expect. Wouldn't this be the very basis of why medication was prescribed?

It sounds like your daughter was struggling socially earlier in the year, and being disruptive in the classroom, despite getting good grades. Although the teacher has seen some improvement, her falling grades would suggest to me that there are clearly still major problems, and I would be surprised if her classroom behavior has improved enough to let it drop off the heads-up in the sub plans.

Before jumping into a 504 or IEP, I really think you need to work with your child's doctor to determine what the root cause of the problem is. Since her grades were strong before, extra time will just hide whatever is truly going wrong with the new medicine. I don't know why you are blaming the classroom and the teacher. It sounds like the only thing that has changed since the beginning of the year is her meds. That's where I would start.