For life...take two..LINK TO PART 3 ON PAGE 245

[DisneyBunny15]

Hey Everyone.. I'm a little nervous about writing on here..but I've been reading a lot of the posts and you all seem like really great people

I'm well aware everyone has different problems, and everything that everyone on here is going through is equally important - but I just had such a bad day I need some good people to vent to..

My best friend of 12 years, Anna - we're 26years old, has been engaged for a year and her wedding is at the end of this month.. First, you should know, she is a GREAT person - she was never once materialistic, selfish, or betrayed my trust, in any way.

We've been through many other fake friends, but always remained true to each other.. Two years ago, I lost one of my "best friends," as I found out that she was seeing my now ex bf - it was a really hard loss for me because the only 2 friends I really had was her and Anna. So, I don't have many friends...good ones, at least.

I'm Anna's maid of honor and planned her entire Bachelorette Party - its 2 days, in NYC, and there is a lot planned! I really went above and beyond to make her the happiest I could. My ex-friend who is now with my ex-bf is also in the bridal party - so I've had to deal w/her and just had SO MUCH stress on my shoulders - but I finally finalized all plans last night and was just relieved to send that final email to update everyone!

Anyway, Anna has gone completely "bridezilla," and has been just complaining about everything from the seating charts to telling me that she's too stressed to know about anything having to do with the bachelorette party - including all the drama that's been going on (which I can understand - she just wants to be able to enjoy it) but she has just been inconsiderate.

I found out 6 mos. ago that my Dad has cancer - and I haven't been the same since.. Its really hard to watch him go through chemo, my Mom is devastated, I have to quit my job because I have to start student teaching in the fall, all while paying over $2,200 for Anna's bridal shower, gifts, dress, jewlery, engagement parties, and the bachelorette party - and have no one to really vent to (my Mom is wonderful at listening to my problems and offering advice but I feel terrible complaining about this stuff, when she has so much more on her plate - my boyfriend is great with my family stuff, but I hate venting about girl stuff as a lot of guys don't really understand weddings and all that).

Anyway, today, I felt like Anna had reached her worst point - she actually called herself "the bride," and I couldn't take it anymore and just completely lost it and told her that this whole wedding has changed her and shes become completely insensitive and inconsiderate. I was really harsh - respectful, but harsh - and she wrote me this long email explaining herself and how she felt. She had a lot of good points and I just immediately started to feel terrible.

THEN, my poor bf, who had been there for me the whole day with this issue of mine, I snapped on!

I feel like such an awful person.. not to mention its just hard to be home these days..

I haven't written Anna back yet - does anyone have some advice for me - this is where other friends would help me out a lot

 

[Trentmom]

WOW

Activity on this thread

I think I might faint

 

[Disneymommom]

I loved year round school. I wish they had year round beyond elementary school. It makes for vacations all year round and I don't think the kids get as bored either.

Do they give the kids a lot of breaks during the year when they go year round? I guess its easier too on working parents not having to find something to do with them all summer. I would have hated it as a kid I am sure but can see the benefit now, lol.

 

[1gr8mouse]

Hi Marshay! I remember way back when and the Flyers won the Stanley cup, but it's been a while if I am recalling correctly lol. I also remember the old Black and White TV's! Now that's really going back!

Hey all,

UJ Here!!!


QM,
Sounds like you need a dinner at 50's Prime Time !!! WOOOO HOOOO

 

[Marshay]

Father's Day Gift

Ok, so I decided to help my daughters make a father's day gift.

We went to AC Moore and bought some 5" wood letters (D-A-D)...the kind that can stand up on their own. Then we are going to paint, modpodge, paper, and accessorize the letters. Inside each D will be a photo of one of the girls...I may try to make it a pouch so DH can change out the photos...

And yes, of course, I'll post a picture!

 

[DisneyBunny15]

I'm a Flyers Girl, well not a big hockey fan but when I am I'm a Flyers Girl! I take it they aren't in the running, lol? You can tell how well I follow it![/B]

By the way, I'm a hard core NJ Devils Fan!!!!!!

 

[Marshay]

Hi Marshay! I remember way back when and the Flyers won the Stanley cup, but it's been a while if I am recalling correctly lol. I also remember the old Black and White TV's! Now that's really going back!

Yeah, the kind where they didn't have a remote ... or rather, they did...it was just called a different name -- children!

 

[Trentmom]

Hey Everyone.. I'm a little nervous about writing on here..but I've been reading a lot of the posts and you all seem like really great people

I'm well aware everyone has different problems, and everything that everyone on here is going through is equally important - but I just had such a bad day I need some good people to vent to..

My best friend of 12 years, Anna - we're 26years old, has been engaged for a year and her wedding is at the end of this month.. First, you should know, she is a GREAT person - she was never once materialistic, selfish, or betrayed my trust, in any way.

We've been through many other fake friends, but always remained true to each other.. Two years ago, I lost one of my "best friends," as I found out that she was seeing my now ex bf - it was a really hard loss for me because the only 2 friends I really had was her and Anna. So, I don't have many friends...good ones, at least.

I'm Anna's maid of honor and planned her entire Bachelorette Party - its 2 days, in NYC, and there is a lot planned! I really went above and beyond to make her the happiest I could. My ex-friend who is now with my ex-bf is also in the bridal party - so I've had to deal w/her and just had SO MUCH stress on my shoulders - but I finally finalized all plans last night and was just relieved to send that final email to update everyone!

Anyway, Anna has gone completely "bridezilla," and has been just complaining about everything from the seating charts to telling me that she's too stressed to know about anything having to do with the bachelorette party - including all the drama that's been going on (which I can understand - she just wants to be able to enjoy it) but she has just been inconsiderate.

I found out 6 mos. ago that my Dad has cancer - and I haven't been the same since.. Its really hard to watch him go through chemo, my Mom is devastated, I have to quit my job because I have to start student teaching in the fall, all while paying over $2,200 for Anna's bridal shower, gifts, dress, jewlery, engagement parties, and the bachelorette party - and have no one to really vent to (my Mom is wonderful at listening to my problems and offering advice but I feel terrible complaining about this stuff, when she has so much more on her plate - my boyfriend is great with my family stuff, but I hate venting about girl stuff as a lot of guys don't really understand weddings and all that).

Anyway, today, I felt like Anna had reached her worst point - she actually called herself "the bride," and I couldn't take it anymore and just completely lost it and told her that this whole wedding has changed her and shes become completely insensitive and inconsiderate. I was really harsh - respectful, but harsh - and she wrote me this long email explaining herself and how she felt. She had a lot of good points and I just immediately started to feel terrible.

THEN, my poor bf, who had been there for me the whole day with this issue of mine, I snapped on!

I feel like such an awful person.. not to mention its just hard to be home these days..

I haven't written Anna back yet - does anyone have some advice for me - this is where other friends would help me out a lot

Hey

We always welcome new people

Sounds like you are having a rough day


You have a lot on your shoulders. I am very sorry about your dad


I can only imagine having to deal with your ex friend and ex boyfriend. Very awakrd

But I commend you for being a stand up person, and doing all you have done for Anna.

Try not to let her get to you.

She is probably so stressed out and not even realizing how she is acting.

I was in a friend's wedding a few years ago. She is nice as can be.

well that day and rehearsal, WOW..talk about Bridezliia

But we did not let it get to us. We just joked and called her bridezilla to her face

That actually caused her to chill out a bit and lighten up

Try and hang in there.

It will all be over soon

 

[Marshay]

Hey Everyone.. I'm a little nervous about writing on here..but I've been reading a lot of the posts and you all seem like really great people

I haven't written Anna back yet - does anyone have some advice for me - this is where other friends would help me out a lot

First of all ... welcome to the thread...sorry, your first post here is on a bad day ... but sometimes just writing out the situation and how you feel (with or without posting) is very cathartic!

My advice -- get on the phone with Anna or arrange to talk to her in person tomorrow. The circumstances you both have been going through warrant that you deal with this in person -- do not send email.

She's your friend...talk to her as a friend. Friends forgive each other and love each other and do crazy things both good and bad ... but friends are there for friends and you have to be honest with one another.

Good luck!

 

[Disneymommom]

Hey Everyone.. I'm a little nervous about writing on here..but I've been reading a lot of the posts and you all seem like really great people

I'm well aware everyone has different problems, and everything that everyone on here is going through is equally important - but I just had such a bad day I need some good people to vent to..

My best friend of 12 years, Anna - we're 26years old, has been engaged for a year and her wedding is at the end of this month.. First, you should know, she is a GREAT person - she was never once materialistic, selfish, or betrayed my trust, in any way.

We've been through many other fake friends, but always remained true to each other.. Two years ago, I lost one of my "best friends," as I found out that she was seeing my now ex bf - it was a really hard loss for me because the only 2 friends I really had was her and Anna. So, I don't have many friends...good ones, at least.

I'm Anna's maid of honor and planned her entire Bachelorette Party - its 2 days, in NYC, and there is a lot planned! I really went above and beyond to make her the happiest I could. My ex-friend who is now with my ex-bf is also in the bridal party - so I've had to deal w/her and just had SO MUCH stress on my shoulders - but I finally finalized all plans last night and was just relieved to send that final email to update everyone!

Anyway, Anna has gone completely "bridezilla," and has been just complaining about everything from the seating charts to telling me that she's too stressed to know about anything having to do with the bachelorette party - including all the drama that's been going on (which I can understand - she just wants to be able to enjoy it) but she has just been inconsiderate.

I found out 6 mos. ago that my Dad has cancer - and I haven't been the same since.. Its really hard to watch him go through chemo, my Mom is devastated, I have to quit my job because I have to start student teaching in the fall, all while paying over $2,200 for Anna's bridal shower, gifts, dress, jewlery, engagement parties, and the bachelorette party - and have no one to really vent to (my Mom is wonderful at listening to my problems and offering advice but I feel terrible complaining about this stuff, when she has so much more on her plate - my boyfriend is great with my family stuff, but I hate venting about girl stuff as a lot of guys don't really understand weddings and all that).

Anyway, today, I felt like Anna had reached her worst point - she actually called herself "the bride," and I couldn't take it anymore and just completely lost it and told her that this whole wedding has changed her and shes become completely insensitive and inconsiderate. I was really harsh - respectful, but harsh - and she wrote me this long email explaining herself and how she felt. She had a lot of good points and I just immediately started to feel terrible.

THEN, my poor bf, who had been there for me the whole day with this issue of mine, I snapped on!

I feel like such an awful person.. not to mention its just hard to be home these days..

I haven't written Anna back yet - does anyone have some advice for me - this is where other friends would help me out a lot

Don't be nervous, we don't bite, well not that hard anyway, lol.

I'm sorry to hear about all what you are going through. I think the stress of your dad's cancer and worrying about him and how it is affecting your Mom along with the wedding stuff you are planning and losing a friend and boyfriend is getting to you. First I would say you now have a great boyfriend who apparently is there for you, even though he doesn't quite understand the wedding stuff and get how it affects you, is good. Use him to lean on, he may not understand why it is affecting you this way but he is there for you so let him take your mind off things, let him be your happy place and put that stuff out of your mind for a little while when you are with him, just relax and enjoy having someone care for you and about you! Also since you have this boyfriend now, let the other stuff go, it's over and done, you can't go back and change it and I know it hurt you that your best friend and boyfriend betrayed you but just think of it this way.....they deserve each other, don't give them enough importance in your life to let it upset you. Know that you are better off without them, treat them like a casual acquaintance and let the rest of it go. Don't let them spoil this wedding for you.

As for "bridezilla" you said she wrote you a heartfelt letter and she made a lot of good points and you now feel terrible. Instead of letting yourself get even more upset by feeling bad, write her a nice long letter back, or call her, tell her you see her points and you are sorry that you got so upset but you have a lot on your plate as well and you did your best to make her bachlorette party the best ever and it hurt your feelings when she brushed it off. I'm sure she will see your good points as well and you two can get past all that. Weddings are a wonderful thing but leading up to them can be very stressful and emotional, don't let any of that ruin your friendship. The wedding will be over, the stress will be gone and let the hurts go away and just enjoy your friendship. Life is too short to hold a grudge, take my word for it, I am the senior member of this group of DIS buds and I've had a lot of experience over the years and I have come to realize what is important in life and what is just not worth ruining friendships or getting upset over.

So my advice is to know you did the best you could with the party for your bridezilla and just enjoy the fun. Lean on your new boyfriend and put the other boyfriend and ex bf behind you, they aren't worth the time you waste being upset with them, be there for your Dad and your Mom and let your boyfriend help you through a very emotional time. Finally enjoy the wedding, enjoy your life and don't sweat the small stuff!

 

[Disneymommom]

First of all ... welcome to the thread...sorry, your first post here is on a bad day ... but sometimes just writing out the situation and how you feel (with or without posting) is very cathartic!

My advice -- get on the phone with Anna or arrange to talk to her in person tomorrow. The circumstances you both have been going through warrant that you deal with this in person -- do not send email.

She's your friend...talk to her as a friend. Friends forgive each other and love each other and do crazy things both good and bad ... but friends are there for friends and you have to be honest with one another.

Good luck!

Well put Marshay, I sometimes get too wordy but I agree with your advice!

 

[Trentmom]

By the way, I'm a hard core NJ Devils Fan!!!!!!

Nice to meet you by the way

Nice to see another Jerseyan here..is that even a word

I am Kelly, a lot of people call me Sharky. I am from South Jersey. Beem Married 1o years and have a 5 year old son. I work part time at a bank

 

[1gr8mouse]

Hey Everyone.. I'm a little nervous about writing on here..but I've been reading a lot of the posts and you all seem like really great people

I'm well aware everyone has different problems, and everything that everyone on here is going through is equally important - but I just had such a bad day I need some good people to vent to..

My best friend of 12 years, Anna - we're 26years old, has been engaged for a year and her wedding is at the end of this month.. First, you should know, she is a GREAT person - she was never once materialistic, selfish, or betrayed my trust, in any way.

We've been through many other fake friends, but always remained true to each other.. Two years ago, I lost one of my "best friends," as I found out that she was seeing my now ex bf - it was a really hard loss for me because the only 2 friends I really had was her and Anna. So, I don't have many friends...good ones, at least.

I'm Anna's maid of honor and planned her entire Bachelorette Party - its 2 days, in NYC, and there is a lot planned! I really went above and beyond to make her the happiest I could. My ex-friend who is now with my ex-bf is also in the bridal party - so I've had to deal w/her and just had SO MUCH stress on my shoulders - but I finally finalized all plans last night and was just relieved to send that final email to update everyone!

Anyway, Anna has gone completely "bridezilla," and has been just complaining about everything from the seating charts to telling me that she's too stressed to know about anything having to do with the bachelorette party - including all the drama that's been going on (which I can understand - she just wants to be able to enjoy it) but she has just been inconsiderate.

I found out 6 mos. ago that my Dad has cancer - and I haven't been the same since.. Its really hard to watch him go through chemo, my Mom is devastated, I have to quit my job because I have to start student teaching in the fall, all while paying over $2,200 for Anna's bridal shower, gifts, dress, jewlery, engagement parties, and the bachelorette party - and have no one to really vent to (my Mom is wonderful at listening to my problems and offering advice but I feel terrible complaining about this stuff, when she has so much more on her plate - my boyfriend is great with my family stuff, but I hate venting about girl stuff as a lot of guys don't really understand weddings and all that).

Anyway, today, I felt like Anna had reached her worst point - she actually called herself "the bride," and I couldn't take it anymore and just completely lost it and told her that this whole wedding has changed her and shes become completely insensitive and inconsiderate. I was really harsh - respectful, but harsh - and she wrote me this long email explaining herself and how she felt. She had a lot of good points and I just immediately started to feel terrible.

THEN, my poor bf, who had been there for me the whole day with this issue of mine, I snapped on!

I feel like such an awful person.. not to mention its just hard to be home these days..

I haven't written Anna back yet - does anyone have some advice for me - this is where other friends would help me out a lot

Sorry, I'm one of those guys who dont understand all that wedding stuff.....it's just not that important to us!!!! IMO, Your focus should be on your dad......nothing is more important than family.......nothing.......in 20 years you will know what I mean.......

IMO opinion most woman put way too much into the wedding ceremony and not enough in to the marriage.......

Explain your stress level to your friend ......apologize, she will probably apologize too.......remember her stress level is high too, her wedding day is the most important thing in her life right now.......(a mistake in my opinion). Go out for a long lunch with no other distractions......it will work out!!!!

Watch the movie with Anna about the girl who hires the male escort to go to her sisters wedding in England...very funny chick flick!!!! Her ex is at the wedding also!!

Come on ladies you know what one I'm talking about.....???

Welcome to this thread.......

UJ
aka Uncle John

A guys perspective for what its worth

 

[Disneymommom]

Hey

We always welcome new people

Sounds like you are having a rough day


You have a lot on your shoulders. I am very sorry about your dad


I can only imagine having to deal with your ex friend and ex boyfriend. Very awakrd

But I commend you for being a stand up person, and doing all you have done for Anna.

Try not to let her get to you.

She is probably so stressed out and not even realizing how she is acting.

I was in a friend's wedding a few years ago. She is nice as can be.

well that day and rehearsal, WOW..talk about Bridezliia

But we did not let it get to us. We just joked and called her bridezilla to her face

That actually caused her to chill out a bit and lighten up

Try and hang in there.

It will all be over soon

I never knew she became a bridezilla! I know about the stress of the bachlorette party and showers and all, I think everyone who is in a wedding goes through that at some point with the bride. It was great you all called her Bridezilla and laughed about it as you're friendship has been special for so many years you would not want to lose that.

 

[1gr8mouse]

By the way, I'm a hard core NJ Devils Fan!!!!!!

Oh......that explains a lot of your problems......HA.....

 

[1gr8mouse]

I am Kelly, a lot of people call me Sharky. I am from South Jersey. Beem Married 1o years and have a 5 year old son. I work part time at a bank

Sh sh sh sharky!!!!!

 

[lovebuzzandwoody]

Welcome DisneyBunny! I too am sorry you are having a rough time.

First, I'm very sorry about your Dad. I hope everything turns out okay. One of my best friends was recently diagnosed with terminal breast cancer, so I can empathize completely. It really takes on toll on you emotionally and physically to watch someone go through the fight of their life like that. It also tends to put things in perspective. Maybe that is why you are losing patience for the whole stressed out bride situation. If only seating arrangements were life's biggest problems, right?

Second, I totally agree with Marshay. You need to *talk* to her face to face. People say things in e-mails that they would never say to someone's face. People also tend to project emotions onto written words that perhaps the writer did not intend. I've seen a few friendships dissolve completely because what was a small issue grew into something a lot bigger because my friends tried to resolve something through e-mail. I know it can be uncomfortable to have those face to face conversations, especially if you dislike conflict as much as I do, but in the long run it's the best way to go.

Good luck with it. I hope you find a way to talk it out and then are able to enjoy the wedding of your dearest friend.

And you are always welcome here.

 

[Disneymommom]

Nope... back to the traditional school schedule.



Thanks Cheri... I hope so too.




Actually it's kind of nice. They have school for 9 weeks and then have 3 weeks off. And yes, it's very beneficial for Disney trips!




Ruh-ro!!! Sorry about your car Cheri!



I DO need a house buying trip! His company will pay for me to fly down and stay for SEVEN days!!! But then I'd have to find someone to watch my kids... so we probably won't take advantage of that unless we sell our house really fast and we just can't wait until July to find something there. They will pay for my mileage/gas/food to drive there too so at least that will be nice for the trip with the kids.



You are right! I need to cheer up already!!!



You suck. I'm going to tell my sister that you were not nice to me.


and yes he took his stupid clubs.

Well that is good that you are going to be reimbursed for any gas mileage, food, rooms, etc. I just wish you had someone to watch the kids so you could go take a little trip to see Tomato and check out housing. It is difficult when you have to wait until school is out. At least they will pay for you whenever you go, whether it be now for a house buying trip or when you move down there. It will make it nicer knowing they are paying for everything!

So he did take his clubs huh, hmmm. LOL, I know when Bryan travels to FL and I don't get to go I hate that, I want to be there too! Well at least he can occupy himself golfing since he doesn't have his Love with him.

 

[lovebuzzandwoody]

Nice to see another Jerseyan here..is that even a word

It is now... you know the rules.

Oh......that explains a lot of your problems......HA.....

Please excuse my INSENSITIVE BIL.

 

[Trentmom]

I never knew she became a bridezilla! I know about the stress of the bachlorette party and showers and all, I think everyone who is in a wedding goes through that at some point with the bride. It was great you all called her Bridezilla and laughed about it as you're friendship has been special for so many years you would not want to lose that.

Yeah, I mean not as bad as you saw on the show on tv, but it was pretty amusing