Disney's special diets won't suggest which counter service to go to- they just give you a list of every single counter service on property.
In our experience, we avoid eating counter service in AK and HS -
As a super dumbed down guide:
at HS Backlot express generally stocks the allergy tenders.
AK people suggest the Flame Tree BBQ
EPCOT, eat at Sunshine seasons for the best variety with allergies.
MK - go to Columbia Harbor house or Cosmic Rays. (shellfish may be an issue with CHH, depends on whether you are ok with getting food knowing they handle a TON of seafood even if it's not touching your food)
If you go to Table service, they will have options for you. They will take raw plain ingredients and make them into food, leaving out what you don't want in there.
The reason that you end up feeling helpless while planning until you arrive is because items change, they might be out of or stocking something from a different vendor, or you might have a different idea of what "safe" is than another person with the same allergy. (once you say peanut, they are going to tell you no baked item anywhere is safe... so does safe mean does not contain, not shared equipment, not shared facility...) Rather than make it more frustrating and creating more confusion, Disney just isn't going to commit to too much information about what is there.
As you may have noticed while perusing lists, there is an unfortunate factor that peanuts, dairy and eggs do contradict some of the alternatives for each other, emphasizing your need to know what level of potential cross contamination can pass for you. For example the standard nut safe bread or cookie will have egg, unless you find the "enjoy life" ones. But if you are ok with the facility cross contam. warning there may be standard breads you call safe. The dairy alternative ice creams can have factory issues with some nuts. It will help you to know if you are comfortable with Rice Dream and various soy milk companies so you can determine what you are ok with if it comes up. DS can't have soy, but I know I keep seeing mention of the brands Pacific and Kikkoman so I would look into those if I was you.
I would look through menus and try to ask about specific items. People here may just know if you have specific things in mind. Because it loads much faster than Disney's site I usually go through allears.net menus before our trip and make a list of items to try to look into.