Flights - What to do when someone encroaches upon your space

[DisneyPrince1982]

I do a lot of solo flights and it seems the past few times, even after selecting an aisle, the person next to me in the middle feels that's it's okay for them to spread out and encroach into my space.

How do you handle these types of situations? Do you tell them to get back in their spot? Nudge them back in? Or just sigh and chalk it up to bad luck?

 

[susanrose73]

I hate to be in that awkward situation, but I think I'd just politely ask them if they could move whatever is intruding on your space. Then I'd thank them and put on my headphones.

 

[mom2rtk]

It happened in a big way on both of my last 2 flights. It's so annoying, especially on a long flight. One of the two couldn't help it as he was a large man, so not a lot I could expect. But the other person was not that large and just kept putting his foot in my very limited space. I was in the middle, he was on the aisle so it's not like he was squeezed on the other side.

If it gets bad, I'll shift around in my seat, maybe bend down to get into the backpack I put under the seat in front of me. They usually shift back out of my space (at least temporarily) when I do that.

 

[Magpie]

Depends on what you mean by "encroaching". Take armrests, for example. You get one entirely to yourself, but the middle person has to share theirs with both you and the person on their other side.

If it's an armrest issue, I let it go. After all, it's not like I have to share both!

Also, if it's an issue of the person in the middle simply spilling out of their seat, due to body dimensions not quite fitting, then again I let it go. What can they do, anyway?

But obviously if it's something truly egregious, such as they're extending their feet into my space or dropping crumbs into my lap, then I'd politely point it out. That's never actually happened to me, though. In most cases, it's not something my seat mate can help and they seem to be trying their best. I assume they're already aware I'd rather not be squeezed in next to them.

 

[DisneyPrince1982]

Depends on what you mean by "encroaching". Take armrests, for example. You get one entirely to yourself, but the middle person has to share theirs with both you and the person on their other side.

If it's an armrest issue, I let it go. After all, it's not like I have to share both!

Also, if it's an issue of the person in the middle simply spilling out of their seat, due to body dimensions not quite fitting, then again I let it go. What can they do, anyway?

But obviously if it's something truly egregious, such as they're extending their feet into my space or dropping crumbs into my lap, then I'd politely point it out. That's never actually happened to me, though. In most cases, it's not something my seat mate can help and they seem to be trying their best. I assume they're already aware I'd rather not be squeezed in next to them.

Yea the armrest is no deal at all. But there have been times where the person next to me in middle seat was large and they asked if I could raise armrest so they'd be more comfortable. I politely told them "no" because that just means they would spill out onto me which I don't think is right, even if it is out of their control.

 

[mom2rtk]

Yea the armrest is no deal at all. But there have been times where the person next to me in middle seat was large and they asked if I could raise armrest so they'd be more comfortable. I politely told them "no" because that just means they would spill out onto me which I don't think is right, even if it is out of their control.

LOL, that would be a big no on the armrest being up.

On that trip with the larger man next to me, I think he thought I was going to be ok with that. The plane had stopped boarding and there was an empty seat between me and my daughter. So we raised the armrests and got comfortable. Then he moved up to our row from further back in the plane. I said sure he could sit there, but I took one for the team and moved to the middle so my daughter wouldn't have to sit by a stranger. Then he sat down and spread out in the open seat with the arm rest still up, I'm sure hoping I'd leave it that way. Uh, no.

 

[Magpie]

Yea the armrest is no deal at all. But there have been times where the person next to me in middle seat was large and they asked if I could raise armrest so they'd be more comfortable. I politely told them "no" because that just means they would spill out onto me which I don't think is right, even if it is out of their control.

Hmm... are you male? I wonder if I've never been asked this because I'm a woman?

In any case, I wouldn't agree. I'm an extrovert, but I still don't want to be snuggled up that close to anyone who isn't family. I could cope if we were on a roller coaster, but not for an entire flight.

 

[DisneyPrince1982]

Hmm... are you male?

Ha yes I am.

 

[mom2rtk]

Gosh, I can't imagine any stranger agreeing to have the armrest up. That's sort of like giving up part of your seat.

 

[BeerMe]

There's no way I would ever raise the armrest

 

[DisneyPrince1982]

That's sort of like giving up part of your seat.

And your soul.

 

[mom2rtk]

And your soul.

 

[Allison]

What's the theme park connection?

 

[DisneyPrince1982]

What's the theme park connection?

Oops, thought I was on community board. That's my punishment for going to work on 2 hours sleep.

Mods, please move to community board.

 

[JoeA]

I had a very large man ask if we could keep the arm rest up once...uh, NO!

 

[Disney Dynamite]

Ugh...This happened to me on our flight home from Orlando on Saturday. I was in the middle seat, and the lady in the window seat carried on a backpack, large tote bag (stuffed to the brim with crap), and a purse. She put the backpack under the seat and kept the rest of the stuff on the floor in front of her (of course the flight attendant never saw), which meant the best place for her legs and feet was in my space. Or so she thought. After she accidentally kicked me a couple of times, I asked her to please stop and to move into her own space. She tried to argue, so I offered to flag down a flight attendant to assist her with moving her bags to an overhead bin if needed. I put on my headphones, and that was the end of the discussion.

I'm hyper aware of staying in my own space every time I fly, and it amazes me when people have no sense of personal space. Unless it's a large person who physically can't help being in my space, I will politely but firmly say something to the other person.

 

[dancin Disney style]

This topic is interesting. I'm very much one of those people that has a personal bubble that gets mad if someone invades it. Such as those people in line at a store that chose to stand so close to you that they are touching some part of your backside. Ya, not cool with me and your going to hear from me about it.

So on the topic of plane seats let me tell you a funny story....it's only funny because it happened to my friend and not me. My friend and I were taking our kids on a spring break trip. Flying SW and we each wanted to sit beside our kid so we opted to sit window and middle with one of us in front of the other. So the last few people are getting on and this family is coming down the isle, mom, dad, son and daughter. Both kids in their early teens. Now the whole family was very large sized. The son sits beside my friend and the dad sits beside me. The dad seems nice, we chat a little and that's that. Well, the son can't fit in the seat beside my friend so he lifts the arm rest and spills over into her(she's in that middle seat). Also important to know that she's very thin...5'6 and 110llbs...so there was room for this kid to spill over. She starts eyeballing me between the seats so I get up to see what's going on. She whispers to me that the kid is using about 1/3 of her seat and has also put his foot over into the space where her bag is under the seat. I say to her 'don't worry the flight attendants will catch it and make him put the armrest down...it has to be down for takeoff...you can then make sure your arm is on it and KEEP it there'. Well turns out that this kid was so large ,we figure, that that flight attendants couldn't see the armrest was up. She had to sit with this kid practically on top of her for nearly 3 hours.

 

[mom2rtk]

This topic is interesting. I'm very much one of those people that has a personal bubble that gets mad if someone invades it. Such as those people in line at a store that chose to stand so close to you that they are touching some part of your backside. Ya, not cool with me and your going to hear from me about it.

So on the topic of plane seats let me tell you a funny story....it's only funny because it happened to my friend and not me. My friend and I were taking our kids on a spring break trip. Flying SW and we each wanted to sit beside our kid so we opted to sit window and middle with one of us in front of the other. So the last few people are getting on and this family is coming down the isle, mom, dad, son and daughter. Both kids in their early teens. Now the whole family was very large sized. The son sits beside my friend and the dad sits beside me. The dad seems nice, we chat a little and that's that. Well, the son can't fit in the seat beside my friend so he lifts the arm rest and spills over into her(she's in that middle seat). Also important to know that she's very thin...5'6 and 110llbs...so there was room for this kid to spill over. She starts eyeballing me between the seats so I get up to see what's going on. She whispers to me that the kid is using about 1/3 of her seat and has also put his foot over into the space where her bag is under the seat. I say to her 'don't worry the flight attendants will catch it and make him put the armrest down...it has to be down for takeoff...you can then make sure your arm is on it and KEEP it there'. Well turns out that this kid was so large ,we figure, that that flight attendants couldn't see the armrest was up. She had to sit with this kid practically on top of her for nearly 3 hours.

She should have said something. She is not required to give up any portion of her seat to another passenger. It would have been as easy as putting her arm out when he tried to lift the armrest and saying "I'd rather have it down."

 

[Praying Colonel]

On our Orlando trip last month I was pleasantly surprised to see the flight down and flight back with lots of open seats. There's one nonstop flight out of our city to MCO daily, and it's usually packed. Helped avoid all these space issues discussed in this thread and becoming more and more prevalent as the airlines makes us feel like

 

[dancin Disney style]

She should have said something. She is not required to give up any portion of her seat to another passenger. It would have been as easy as putting her arm out when he tried to lift the armrest and saying "I'd rather have it down."

This kid just took over...hard to explain but he just did. She would have had to get a FA. We had a few whispered chats about it and I kept saying get the FA. She didn't want to embarrass the kid. The kid guzzled 3 full cans of coke and about 8 bags of crackers....I think he needs a little embarrassment.

I on the other hand would have taken it for about 5 minutes and then let him have it. There probably should be a warning sign on me that says "don't invade my personal space unless you want to be spoken to with a nasty attitude".