Fitting rooms

[SiAmCrAzY]

Maybe I'm trying on clothes in different places than some posters but the ones I use have a door that may or may not go all the way from ceiling to floor. Either way, if he's not in my fitting room with me what the heck is he going to see?

I agree, I think maybe part of this argument is due to miss-understanding. I have never been to a dressing room with a curtain, or one with a door that was see thru. Most of the shops we go to have individual/ (unisex?) dressing rooms with doors and locks- with mirrors inside so it is a non issue whether or not we go in together. Even the Target here has family style dressing rooms.

And IMO there is nothing wrong with asking for your husbands opinion or his help with a zipper, I value my DH opinion and sorry but due to rotator cuff injuries I too am not able to tackle all back zippers and there is no way i am wondering out into the store half naked to ask someone to zip me up.

And just to clarify - I understand and respect the modesty of others here who object to having a male hanging around outside the dressing room doors, but the thought of calling SECURITY on someone who is behaving themselves and minding their own business is ridiculous.

This whole discussion makes me wonder why some department stores (jc penny, Boston Store, Kohls) put the "husband" chair right next to the 3 way mirror? I would think it would be far less offensive to have DH in my room with me, than to have a front row seat next to the mirror

 

[maxiesmom]

As someone who has never had my DH accompany me into a dressing room nor have I accompanied him, I just wanted to say that it's no big deal to me if there's a man in one of the other fitting rooms.

Maybe I'm trying on clothes in different places than some posters but the ones I use have a door that may or may not go all the way from ceiling to floor. Either way, if he's not in my fitting room with me what the heck is he going to see?

If a store had floor to ceiling doors on their fitting rooms, and the doors were solid, then I wouldn't care if you had a guy in there with you. Unless you were doing something inappropriate, and that does happen! Nothing like having to send a manager in to break up a happy couple to make you feel all creepy and icky.

 

[Arielle22]

Until this thread I had never heard of men accompanying women into a changing room (which was not unisex).

I am on the fence about the idea.

First, what stores have fitting room stalls large enough for 2 people? Most stores I frequent only have room for 1 which would leave the guy standing outside.

Second, I think it is an easier policy for the store to say no opposite gender in fitting rooms than to pick and choose who can go in. Because I am sure there will be a creepy guy who goes into one merely to find what he can see.

I worked for 5 years as a retail manager at a store that was well known for women changing in the aisles during a certain sale. Extra security was on hand just to catch the pervs who were there for the show. Now the women were either wearing leotards or would strip to bras and undies, exactly what you might see in a fitting room but the men would still watch.

At another sale I had a woman complain because a man (a tranny well know to us for his style sense) was trying on a dress in an aisle. She wanted him booted out. I told her, we allow the women to do it so we cannot discriminate against the men.

I would find it startling to see a man in a women's fitting room merely because it is so unusual.

 

[Ciao Mickey]

When I'm trying to figure out if something is acceptable or not, I often ask myself, "Would this have even been a question 50 years ago?".

I know things weren't perfect "back in the day" but I think that society, in general, had better manners back then. Folks were willing to inconvenience themselves a bit in order to keep others around them comfortable.

I suspect that 50 years ago a woman wouldn't dream of having her husband accompany her into a dressing room. I also suspect that a gentleman wouldn't dream of entering a dressing room.

Of course, back then a woman would go shopping for her frocks whilst wearing a pretty pair of gloves and a pair of pumps. Today we go to the mall in torn jeans and flip-flops.

Feel sorry for me... it's painful to be old-fashioned in today's "comfort first" society!

You are not old-fashioned, you just have common sense and consideration for others, which seems to be lacking in many today.

What do they call *adult* snowflakes?

 

[Ciao Mickey]

So now we go from DBF being in the dressing room with me to him eyeing your and your 11 year old daughter? Not all men are perverts. He didn't even see anyone else in the dressing room but me.

Now that I know how paranoid people can be I'll never go in a dressing room wiht him in a Department store again.

Promise????

 

[maxiesmom]

.

And IMO there is nothing wrong with asking for your husbands opinion or his help with a zipper, I value my DH opinion and sorry but due to rotator cuff injuries I too am not able to tackle all back zippers and there is no way i am wondering out into the store half naked to ask someone to zip me up.

And just to clarify - I understand and respect the modesty of others here who object to having a male hanging around outside the dressing room doors, but the thought of calling SECURITY on someone who is behaving themselves and minding their own business is ridiculous.

Two things: First, you don't want to go outside of the fitting room to have someone zip you up, because you don't want to be half naked in front of strangers, but it should be ok for the rest of us to have a strange man in the fitting room at the same time we are? That doesn't make any sense to me.

Second, I'm not sure if you are refering to my post where we had to call security, but if it is, I want to explain further. Where I work, the fitting room doors are not all the way up and down, and are not solid. They are made of slats, and it is pretty easy to see who is in the room. One woman did not like having a man in what was a lingerie fitting room the same time her young daughter was trying on bras. Totally understandable. But the man had a fit because he just had to watch his girlfriend/wife try on lingerie. I'm sorry, but that is just wrong. And started yelling at an threatening the woman who complained about him being in there. A man does not belong in a lingerie fitting room. Get your jollys at home, not in the middle of a department store.

 

[mjkacmom]

No way does a man belong in a ladies fitting room. My DD-13 would be mortified.

This is how I feel, I believe, only because in the womens dressing room, one assumes there are only females in there. When I shop with dd13, she will open the door in some degree of undress to show me something, hand something out, etc. I can't imagine a man walking in - she would freak!

And my sixth grader would absolutely REFUSE to come with me into the dressing room - getting him near the womens clothing would be battle! He would gouge out his eyes if he had to see mom in her bra and panties!

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

DH comes into Victoria's Secret with me all the time and i try on different bras and i like to show him to see what he thinks, and this one woman flipped out on him and told him he shouldn't be there, that it was "making her uncomfortable"

idk.....if you wear a bathing suit, i don't see why a bra would be much different. but that's just my opinion, people are different i guess...


eta: am i the only one who could give a crap about what some random guy thinks i look like in an outfit?? if i'm in there with my DH or DBF or DSO...i'm obviously not trying to impress anyone else. so if some random dude sees me in a dress or a bra, i just think "well i'm sure he's seen it before" and i just go on. i don't sit there and think "OMG HE'S STARING AT ME! WHAT MUST HE THINK!? I LOOK AWFUL!"

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

It wouldn't bother me either.

As for the doors with the slats, I hang up a shirt or pants there so no one can see in.

Oh & if a man was in the bathroom with me it would be no biggie either. I guess when you have seen one, you have seen them all (I am a nurse).

this is pretty much how i look at things too. i wouldn't mind unisex bathrooms, either. if anything, i'd love for things to go that way because i'm sick of having to wait in line for the women's bathroom when the men's is empty. what takes women SO long to use the bathroom!? i'm in and out of there in like 2 minutes(and that includes walking to the stall, using the bathroom, washing my hands, and leaving the bathroom).

 

[dicar123]

Encountering a man in a dressing room would startle me. Even when I am in the middle of a ladies section of clothing and using that fitting room, I absolutely prefer floor to ceiling walls and solid doors with locks. I don't think strange women need to see me in a state of partial dress, and I don't want to see them!

I suspected modesty had become a dirty word. How sad that it is likely to get worse.

 

[Mtukufu]

LOL That's hilarious. I don't think what you were doing was inappropriate at all. Some people are kind of just...

 

[SiAmCrAzY]

If a store had floor to ceiling doors on their fitting rooms, and the doors were solid, then I wouldn't care if you had a guy in there with you.

How is this ok for the pp yet not for me and others?
I really think you misunderstood me. On several points.

First off, the places where I shop have full locking doors. I really think this depends on the store you go to. Target has a unisex FR and their doors do no not go floor to ceiling.

Second- the only person my DH see's half naked while in said dressing room is me. As he is polite enough not to enter the other stalls.
I brought up the point about the chair near the mirror for this reason. If DH is in my closed stall with me, he see's no one but me. If he sits in the chair provided out by the 3 way he sees everyone who uses the mirror.

What I was referring to were the comments made by several others that having someone sitting/standing there while they were checking their reflection could be uncomfortable and I do agree, because I would be uncomfortable walking out of my sealed stall half naked to get my DH to zip my dress up and walking past your DH and several others to do so.
I can see where having someone sitting by the mirror you use to check your reflection could make someone uncomfortable. But that is where some stores put the DH chair.

Also, I was not referring to your story about calling security I was referring to several pp's comments made about calling security if they even saw a gentleman enter a fitting room with a lady. I did use the descriptive "minding their own business and behaving themselves"

I too have worked retail, so I understand how frustrating it can be- That is why each store has it's own policy regarding this heated issue. I worked for 4 yrs at Victoria's Secret., and we certainly did not expect a woman to come out of the dressing room into the store and ask her DH/DB what he thought But that was awhile ago and for all I know due to the bad behavior of some it may have changed. The doors where solid and locked.

People above a certain age should really be able to conduct themselves in an appropriate manner when out in public. When I worked at VS the couples who used the stalls for what they were intended for, were left alone. Those who wished to be childish and inappropriate were asked to leave.
It was that simple.

It is the lesser of two evils imo- I would much rather let 2 well behaved adults pick out lingerie together- in a lingerie store, than have to process piles of returned lingerie that people have taken home and done who knows what in. But that is another thread entirely, and I am sure that if you look long enough on the DIS you will find it.

Sorry if I offended you, it seems threads like these get filled up quick with hurt feelings, misplaced anger and misunderstandings.

 

[Inigo]

While it would not bother me to have a man in the dressing room, I think it's bizarre a grown woman can't try on clothes by herself and decide what she likes. The last time I needed someone in the fitting with me, I was maybe 10, but since then I've been able to handle it alone.

This.

Now, if the couple were young, like mid-20's, I'd just think they were young and clueless. Any older than about 26 or so, and I'd look at the couple like they were really odd, and looking to get attention.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

This.

Now, if the couple were young, like mid-20's, I'd just think they were young and clueless. Any older than about 26 or so, and I'd look at the couple like they were really odd, and looking to get attention.

i like to have my DH's opinion on my clothes. he'll tell me truthfully if it looks good or not. sometimes i can't see EVERY ANGLE of what i'm trying on, even in those 3-way mirrors and not every dressing room has those.

 

[si-am]

DH comes into Victoria's Secret with me all the time and i try on different bras and i like to show him to see what he thinks, and this one woman flipped out on him and told him he shouldn't be there, that it was "making her uncomfortable"

idk.....if you wear a bathing suit, i don't see why a bra would be much different. but that's just my opinion, people are different i guess...

Bras? Seriously? WHY?

When I try on bras, I can tell on my own which ones my husband will like. What I'm usually more concerned with is how they look under clothes, and he's not a reliable judge of that.

I would not tolerate a man in a VS dressing room. Tacky.

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

DH comes into Victoria's Secret with me all the time and i try on different bras and i like to show him to see what he thinks, and this one woman flipped out on him and told him he shouldn't be there, that it was "making her uncomfortable"

idk.....if you wear a bathing suit, i don't see why a bra would be much different. but that's just my opinion, people are different i guess...


eta: am i the only one who could give a crap about what some random guy thinks i look like in an outfit?? if i'm in there with my DH or DBF or DSO...i'm obviously not trying to impress anyone else. so if some random dude sees me in a dress or a bra, i just think "well i'm sure he's seen it before" and i just go on. i don't sit there and think "OMG HE'S STARING AT ME! WHAT MUST HE THINK!? I LOOK AWFUL!"

I'm totally with you. The ladies at VS always encourage DFiance to go in with me but the fitting rooms at my VS, you can see the doors from the store. I can pick out my own regular, everyday bras, I usually buy those online anyway because my VS is usually out of 36D bras in the color I want since it's a popular size. It's the special bras and other undergarments that I am paying $300 total for, I want to make sure that DFiance really likes it. When it comes to this stuff, it's not all about my judgment, his opinion does matter to me, as much as my own opinion does.

I can't fully see how my butt looks in something. I can't see myself 100% like someone else would. And the impression it makes on DFiance, when it comes to lingerie, is more important to the impression it leaves on me.

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

Also, at Nordstrom when DFiance is trying on business stuff, he wants me to tell him if I think it looks good. As a business man, he needs to dress to impress. I could wait outside the room but it's just easier that I'm in there and I can see all the options he'd grabbed and rotate them out to get the best look. A lot of people ask me to help them go shopping because I'm not afraid to tell someone something looks bad on them.

DFiance is not one of those men who just have their SOs buy their clothes. He likes to pick out his own things but he likes me to help him. Again, at Nordstrom, I am encouraged by the sales associates to join him in the room. It's a dressing room that's in the men's section as well and we frequent two different Nordstroms.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

I could wear a burlap sack and dh would think it's hot, so hysterical to me that any woman needs to get her man's opinion on her lingerie, lol. Really??? I feel like I've gone to sleep and woken up in Oz.

I can't see a grown man or woman needing help with something as simple as buying clothes. I am perplexed that grown ups do this. If you all are teenagers I completely understand.

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

I could wear a burlap sack and dh would think it's hot, so hysterical to me that any woman needs to get her man's opinion on her lingerie, lol. Really??? I feel like I've gone to sleep and woken up in Oz.

I can't see a grown man or woman needing help with something as simple as buying clothes. I am perplexed that grown ups do this. If you all are teenagers I completely understand.

OPEN YOUR MIND!!! Everyone isn't like you! Get over it. I'm sorry you feel your DH's opinion doesn't matter but my DFiance's does matter to me.

ETA: Sorry the caps aren't just direct toward you, really they're for everyone with the same general opinon, and they're not meant to be hurtful but it gets my point across. The opinions of others are taken into consideration at different levels uniquely with each individual.

Lingerie is not for me. If it were just for me, I wouldn't waste the money or the slight uncomfortableness of the garments. But it's not. Sure, DFiance would still think I'm hot in a burlap sack but that's not what I'm going to purchase. I want to purchase the hottest thing to him, the thing that looks best on me, according to him. I'm not trying to impress myself.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

It's not that his opinion doesn't matter, it's that I can see for myself in the mirror what looks good and what doesn't. I don't need for him to tell me. If it looks good I can see it, if it looks bad, that's quite obvious. We're talking about clothes, not buying a house or a car. Something under $1000 I do not need to run by him as it's a small purchase, if it was a major purchase I would confer with him. I still think that most of the posters here that need their partners opinion are very young, as minor things seem much more important then, there's a larger need to please someone else, and women and men gain more self confidence as they grow older which tends to lessen the need for another's approval.

I doubt when you have been married for 15 years that you will still need his opinion on lingerie, as by that time everyone knows that all it's good for is landing on the floor.