Ferberizing?

[TexasErin]

This might should be on the debate board because I'm sure it will get very strong opinions, BUT
Anyone used this technique (you know, the delayed responding technique to get your baby to sleep where you let them cry for 5 minutes, check on them, then let them cry for 10 minutes...increasing in 5 minute intervals until they fall asleep).
Please nobody flame me for being a bad mother, but my 5-month-old DS has been sleeping in bed with me. I nurse and its so much easier this way. I sleep with a lamp on and the TV low because I am afraid of falling into too deep of a sleep. So needless to say, my sleep quality is not very good.
I have been thinking that when DS turns 6 months old this month, that I would use the Ferber method to try to get him to sleep on his own.
The only thing is I've heard that some babies cry so hard and for so long that they sometimes actually throw up. Lord knows I don't want to subject my darling baby to this much trauma. But I also want (kinda) for him to sleep in his crib and for me to go back to getting good sleep.
Thoughts? Opinions?

 

[mtemm]

Most of the problems I've heard associated with Ferber were when they were tried prior to 6 months.

We ended up doing something similar. My son slept fine at night, but was a horrible napper. Finally at 4 months I would lay down with him, but that only worked for so long.

On advice of many others, I checked out the book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. At first I threw it across the room...I didn't want any part of CIO. But things got worse and I picked it up again. Finally tried out the method, and it worked GREAT. Took about 2-4 days and suddenly my son was napping in his crib, putting himself to sleep (he always had at night, but in desparation I nursed him to sleep for naps). It was horrible while it happened...don't get me wrong. I went down to our finished basement and cried myself...checking on him thru the monitor, turning it off and on every few minutes.

Good luck to you! If you want to check out the book I mentioned, here's a link:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/t...102-9208701-3639358?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

There is also a message board at parentsoup that you might want to check out.

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-pssleepprob

Marcia

P.S. For us we couldn't keep going in to his room...it upset him more. I learned to tell the difference between hysterical screaming (no way anything productive would happen) and protest crying (just leave him alone and he'll be fine). I was amazed at how short a time it worked. He's 13 months now and a GREAT sleeper...both day and night.

 

[becka]

Thankfully after about 4 months or so DS was a pretty good sleeper so we never had to 'Ferber'-ize him to get him to sleep at night. However, there have been maybe 5-6 times in the last two months when he has just refused to go to sleep and will scream once you leave him in his crib but as soon as DH or I walk in the room he is fine so we kind of use the Ferber method then. We let him cry for 3-4 minutes and then we check on him, lay him back down, talk calmly to him, etc. and then leave for another 4-5 minutes, etc. He is usually asleep within 3 rounds of this. The strange thing is that we seem to have this problem the most when he is the most tired so we know he is exhausted.

I never enjoy it but I think in our situation it has worked the best for us. Unfortunately I cannot give you any advice about your particular situation but if you do decide to try it just know that it is very difficult for us mommies to hear them cry (like you don't already know this) and you might need someone stronger (DH) for support. I used to try to brush my teeth (with the water running), etc. at first to try to drown out some of the crying but it is still soooo hard. Usually I wind up practically in tears while DH just hugs me and reminds me that it is for the best.

Good luck! One thing I have learned in the past 10 1/2 months is that there are NO easy parenting decisions.

 

[sha_lyn]

think of it from your baby's point of view. All he has known his whole life is sleeping by you and being able to nurse on demand. All of a sudden you want to take this away from him.


This is the advise we got from our Ped.

First put the crib in your room and leave the rest the same (tv,lamp) then once he gets use to that (might be an ight might be 2 weeks), creat the same atsmophere in his room. Sit in the room by the bed (or as the ped suggested if mom needs a nap, make a pallet in the floor) if he starts crying ("real" crying, not fussing). Talk, touch etc but do not pick up.
It took about 2 weeks of staying in the room for 30-45 min before DD would let me leave the room as soon as I put her in bed.

 

[CamColt]

We Ferberized our DS. He was ok at sleeping, but not going to bed at night. It worked to a T in a few nights. Yes, it was hard those couple of nights when he was crying(never threw up, or even came close), but it was so worth it.
At the time DH worked for a company that manufactured the equipment for sleep studies. One day he had to call Dr Ferber for something. The first thing he did was thank him immensely.

 

[Nicsmom]

We did it. We waited until she was 6 months old before we started. It worked like a charm. It's VERY hard on mom and dad but stick with it. It will pay offl. My daughter is 9 yrs old. She has never given me trouble going to bed. Good luck!!