Feeling uneasy--my "nurse" radar is going off

[minkydog]

I think you should call your moms doctor yourself and discuss getting her admitted.

If I could get his name out of her. And if he was in town. She is a hard-headed lady. She won't go to the hospital unless he personally tells her to go. I'm just her 53yo daughter; what do I know?

 

[Pea-n-Me]

That's a hard situation. My mother is 84 but luckily she pretty much heeds my advice even when she doesn't like it. We had a thing this morning, in fact, where she didn't want to go to the doctor's about something. I laid out all the options for her and she chose the most prudent one, thankfully - even though she grumbled a bit.

 

[minkydog]

<sigh> My mother is a very controlling person. I have never done anything right in my life and she is ALWAYS smarter than me. She's about to "smart" herself into a bad situation here.

 

[Disney Doll]

I'm sorry for you minky. That must be so hard to have one so stubborn. Mine are stubborn, but I can usually get them to listen to me about the medical stuff.

 

[booger73]

Sulindac is an NSAID (like ibuprofen).. stop stop stop! it now.. if she's queasy, on asa, taking nsaids, and on coumadin she is almost certainly got some gastritis or something as the source

(maybe it's tics or angiodysplasia or what not, but if she needs the coumadin, she needs it -> did they calculate a CHADS2 score, btw?)

might be worthwhile to put her on a prilosec or something for the time being, but she needs to (if she can) stop the ibuprofen'ish meds asap

 

[minkydog]

Sulindac is an NSAID (like ibuprofen).. stop stop stop! it now.. if she's queasy, on asa, taking nsaids, and on coumadin she is almost certainly got some gastritis or something as the source

(maybe it's tics or angiodysplasia or what not, but if she needs the coumadin, she needs it -> did they calculate a CHADS2 score, btw?)

might be worthwhile to put her on a prilosec or something for the time being, but she needs to (if she can) stop the ibuprofen'ish meds asap

I was afraid of that. In peds we don't use much sulindac, so I'm not familiar with the drug. She says the doctor told her it was okay for her to take it with the coumadin. I don't know if they did a CHADS2. Mother is usually very on top of tests and stuff(that's the nurse in her) but this time she doesn't seem to be advocating for herself too much. It's not like her not to ask a lot of questions. She usually doesn't let doctors just "take the wheel", so I'm not sure why she's taking such a laizze-faire attitude. I did think it is telling that she said,"Your sister Barbara has called me every day!" Barbara hardly ever calls anyone, and my mother is so happy to get her attentions. I think mother is getting some strokes from being sick.

I'll suggest to her some Prilosec. I've suggested it before and she wouldn't try it. But she might do it now. If I go down there next week, I'll definitely take some with me. She may be reluctant to spend the money--prilosec is a little pricey for someone on a fixed income.

 

[booger73]

I was afraid of that. In peds we don't use much sulindac, so I'm not familiar with the drug. She says the doctor told her it was okay for her to take it with the coumadin. I don't know if they did a CHADS2. Mother is usually very on top of tests and stuff(that's the nurse in her) but this time she doesn't seem to be advocating for herself too much. It's not like her not to ask a lot of questions. She usually doesn't let doctors just "take the wheel", so I'm not sure why she's taking such a laizze-faire attitude. I did think it is telling that she said,"Your sister Barbara has called me every day!" Barbara hardly ever calls anyone, and my mother is so happy to get her attentions. I think mother is getting some strokes from being sick.

I'll suggest to her some Prilosec. I've suggested it before and she wouldn't try it. But she might do it now. If I go down there next week, I'll definitely take some with me. She may be reluctant to spend the money--prilosec is a little pricey for someone on a fixed income.

Tell her 'this doctor' (that means me says it is "NOT OK" for her to take sulindac when she has GI bleeding with Coumadin.. and that she really needs to be on something (prilosec or zantac or pepcide).. even generic omeprazole is OK (walmart 30 pills-> $14). Take twice a day for now

CHADS2 score -> risk for stroke from Afib..
CHF, HTN(treated), Age>75, DM, prior Stroke
Risk goes up with stroke - anticoagulate if risk>2 with coumadin
UNLESS in the setting of clinically significant GI bleeding.. i.e. a drop from 11->8 requiring 2 units tranfusion in most people's minds (at least mine) is.. would not restart until source of bleeding found (EGD/Colo done)
Risk of stroke from score >2 = 4-5%.. risk from GI bleeding not stopping if source is not found and still on anticoags = 100%

 

[minkydog]

Thanks, Dr. booger *(sorry, I couldn't resist ). I'm very concerned about this because Mother just seems so clueless, like she's sticking her head in the sand. She is very good at watching out for everyone else's health(ie, she's a busybody) but she often neglects her own. I don't get it. If I could even get her to check her blood sugar just ONCE a day I'd feel like I'd accomplished something. She says she just "doesn't want to have it(diabetes)." Hence, her blood sugar when she does check it is often 200-300. She does take Metformin but she doesn't eat properly, other than she's given up cupcakes. She's all worried about her sister who is in treatment for lung cancer, but she won't admit that what she is dealing with is equally serious.

<sigh> What an impossible situation. When I'm an old lady, I hope y'all will remind me of this and kick me in the pants if I start acting like this.

 

[ChrizJen]

I'm glad that you're considering going to be with her. Your birthday sounds like the perfect "excuse" to drop in and visit!

And I don't want to drive it too far into the ground because others have said it too. But my dad did the very same thing. The one HUGE regret that I have is that I wasn't active enough about being aware of what was going on with his health. But he was only 57. None of us knew how sick he was until he was in the hospital dying from liver failure. We're all pretty sure he'd known for a while. He just didn't tell us. He was also a very independent person who didn't like to bother or worry anyone with his issues. I really wish he would have. I feel like there may have been something I could have done to keep him here with us for a little bit longer had I known...

Good luck, OP! And I hope that you're able to help your mom get to the bottom of what's going on!

 

[mickeyboat]

Not a doctor or a nurse here, but I am wondering if her meds are causing her to be a little "off" mentally, so she isn't taking charge of her care like she normally would.

Is there someone who would be willing to go to her appointments with her so that the right questions are asked and the right instructions are noted?

DH and I are also dealing with a stubborn sick person, and it is frustrating. to you, minky.

 

[robinb]

Yeah, mother is becoming more secretive about her health. Several times she has kinda off-handedly mentioned stuff--like, she can no longer feel her feet. Like, she doesn't check her blood sugar more than once or twice aweek. She doesn't want us to know EN-EE-THANG. Sometimes she'll let me know after the fact that she went to the doctor and they found______. Mother is mentally clear so I know it's not anything dementia-related. She just doens't want anybody to know her business for fear that it will all be taken away from her.

Do we have the same mother?!? My mom is the exact same way ... the off-hand remarks about her health. For my mom the hints are hidden in long winded boring stories about something else and then *bam* she drops in something about seeing the doctor about something. I had to find out from my sister that my mom was turning YELLOW and that finally led to pancreatic surgery. I was there for the surgery but she wanted to keep that from me too and when I found out she didn't want me to come to be there for it. Yeah, right. She ended up in the hospital for 4 weeks.

She showed me her closet a few years ago and said,"When I die, all the information is up there." ummm, okay...first i have to dig through the 40 years of crap you have stored on top of it..

Actually, that's one of my other concerns, that her house is outstripping her energy and ability to care for it (not to mention her checkbook!) She talks about moving into a senior apartment, but she doesn't want to throw anything away--she has a 2000sq ft house packed to the gun'ales. I've tried to help her go through stuff, but in the end she wants to keep it all. I have to literally wrest the trash out of her hands! This is one feisty old lady.

Yup. My mom is the same way. Saying she is a "pack rat" is a kindness. I spent most of my 4 weeks cleaning out garbage and way-too-big clothes (3x for a woman who now wears a 16) and clearing a way for her to be able to make it around her house with a walker. One thing I changed about ME along the way is that I stopped calling it "crap" and "junk". It's now known as "stuff". There was no reason to make her mad by calling her stuff that she saved something derogatory ... even as I was hauling it out to the garbage cans.

Seriously, though, I need to sit down with her and listen to her plans. I need to see her advance directive, find out who her medical and financial powers of attorneys are, get all her credit card and bank numbers written down, computer passwords, et al. I don't think any of my sisters has done that yet and she'll probably pooh-pooh me for wanting to do that but I think it's important.

That is a very wise thing to do. I wish I had the forethought to do it before my mom went into the hospital, but we expected her to be out in only 7 days and NOT 4 weeks.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I am wondering if her meds are causing her to be a little "off" mentally, so she isn't taking charge of her care like she normally would.

Or vice versa. You never know which came first, the chicken or the egg.

But yes, if she's not making good decisions, if not for herself than from a public health perspective (ie driving while dizzy), that needs to be looked at.

 

[minkydog]

Not a doctor or a nurse here, but I am wondering if her meds are causing her to be a little "off" mentally, so she isn't taking charge of her care like she normally would.

Is there someone who would be willing to go to her appointments with her so that the right questions are asked and the right instructions are noted?

DH and I are also dealing with a stubborn sick person, and it is frustrating. to you, minky.

No, she seems to be mentally intact. I think she's afraid of what she might hear. You know, if she refuses to hear it then it doesn't exist.

Do we have the same mother?!? My mom is the exact same way ... the off-hand remarks about her health. For my mom the hints are hidden in long winded boring stories about something else and then *bam* she drops in something about seeing the doctor about something. My mom is the same way. Saying she is a "pack rat" is a kindness. I spent most of my 4 weeks cleaning out garbage and way-too-big clothes (3x for a woman who now wears a 16) and clearing a way for her to be able to make it around her house with a walker. One thing I changed about ME along the way is that I stopped calling it "crap" and "junk". It's now known as "stuff". There was no reason to make her mad by calling her stuff that she saved something derogatory ... even as I was hauling it out to the garbage cans.

OMG, we DO have the same mother. I had to laugh about the long, boring pointless stories. My mother just goes on and on about people I never met, all their health problems, what their children are doing. Or it's one grandchild in particular--she just goes on and on about him. It's not like she doesn't get out of the house--she's very active in her community. I don't know why she does this-- it drives me crazy. there really is a limit on how much I can listen to it.

I am very careful about how I approach her things. I would never use derogatory terms in her presence. She thinks everything is valuable because its old. It's not. Every item has a story, which she must tell in minute detail. It's exhausting. And at the end of her story she usually can't part with the item. I try to be very supportive, though. This is her life-story she's telling and she needs to tell it. I get frustrated with the huge amount of stuff but I just have to overlook it as long as it's not a fire trap.

My fear is that she will have a stroke or break a hip(very possible considering what her house looks like) and have to go to rehab for several weeks. She's got a young adult Border Collie and a new kitten that need taking care of, too, so I need to find out what her plan is for them should she become suddenly unable to care for them.

 

[manning]

Don't have a clue what is happening. All I can say is I woke up on a saturday morning passing a lot of blood and on Wednesday 18 inches of colon was being cut out of me....colon cancer.

They won't know what is wrong until she is checked out in the hospital.

 

[Goofycampers]

I admit I haven't read all the responses but a Pt on Coumadin with frank blood in their stool and a low hgb is an emergency condition. Their coumadin should be stopped until PTINR'S are stabilized and the source of the bleed is identified.

 

[minkydog]

Don't have a clue what is happening. All I can say is I woke up on a saturday morning passing a lot of blood and on Wednesday 18 inches of colon was being cut out of me....colon cancer.

They won't know what is wrong until she is checked out in the hospital.

OMG, manning! that's just awful! I hope you're going to be all right.

 

[luvthatdisney]

Just wanted to add that my father went through the same thing. He was also on coumadin and cardizem. However, his blood pressure was always good. He had a stroke 8 years ago, but was in fair health for a long time after that.

In January, he started having weak spells where he could not function. Tried to hide it from us. Finally he was admitted to the hospital. He too was bleeding from somewhere and he was given blood. Did okay for a while, but in late February he had similar symptoms, but were worse. Could not walk hardly. He was admitted again and they finally scheduled a colonoscopy due to some blood showing up on his hemocult test. They ended up not doing it as there was too much blood - it was just coming out slowly he had been very constipated. Instead did an endoscopy (the other end!) and found 2 bleeding ulcers.

He eventually told us he had been taking Aleve daily for "toe pain", think he had some nerve damage. It was eating through his stomach. They had to take him off Coumadin to treat the ulcer, but since he was inpatient they had him on Heparin instead.

Through all of this he kept begging to go home, the doctor knew his condition was not good, but offered to let him go home on another weaker drug cant remember the name of it to thin his blood slightly so the ulcers could heal. It worked! He started feeling so much better - even cooked for himself, which he had not done in years. That lasted about 3 weeks. Once they put him back on Coumadin, he started going downhill again. He had a follow up endoscopy before that and his ulcers were healed. But he was bleeding again.

Sadly, he passed away this past Easter Sunday of a massive stroke. We knew that was a risk as did he. I miss him so! But I know I did everything I could to help him, so sad that he would not let us know how he really felt. I hope I have not scared anyone with my post, I just want to help others know what can happen if bleeding is left unchecked. I have no clue how long this had been going on for.

It's hard when the roles reverse. I can say being the parent of my parent was one of the hardest things I have ever done!

 

[minkydog]

No, luvthatdisney, you didn't scare me. I'm very sorry you lost your father. How very sad.

I'm very upset with my mother. I just got an email from her detailing all the errands she did today, including taking the dog with her to the bank. Oy! I reminded her that if she passes out at the wheel, at the LEAST she'll be charged with reckless driving or DUI. I don't want to think about her hitting someone else. I even tried to appeal to her for her precious dog's sake. If she ends up int he hospital, where will that leave him, running around in traffic?? She was so proud--she didn't faint once. I'm begging her to stop driving until Monday. I'm going down there Sunday. I can't leave any earlier than that. My nephew will be there Friday. He's pretty useless, but he can drive her car.

What am I gonna do with her? If she tells me I can't come down there I swear I'm going anyway. She won't turn me away. Makes me wanna cuss!

 

[manning]

OMG, manning! that's just awful! I hope you're going to be all right.

Happened 16 years ago.

 

[manning]

Yes stop him from driving. When you pass out you can't control it.