Feeling the need to vent long post!

[Disneymom4123]

Sorry all but i just needed to vent some where and my dh has not been much help! Awhile back we had some credit card problems (I had lost my job and was not expecting to it was after a surgery and was un able to work afterwards even though I was told i'd be fine) Dh had been making a okay income but just not enough. At that point we went to DH'S mom and step dad who has money. We had went to them asking for them not to give us the money but if they could please loan it to us in order to pay off the cc bills. The step father in turn would not help out my dh. Yet he helped out his mothers other daughter who is 24 she got involved with the wrong guy has a kid had her car repoed and he paid to save her car! This girl has never done a thing for them! My dh is always there when they needed something and before his mother got remarried didn't have much and he helped her out so many times with money and helping out with his younger sister who is now 13. After this I didn't know what to do and we finally refianced our home and got everything taken care of. I am happy to report Dh salary has since doubbled so money is not a issue no longer.

Now fast forward to now about a year later. Every time we go to Dmil home they talk about how rich they are ex: How they gave her husbands sister all this money because she is walking in a race for cancer which is a good cause it's just they brag about how much thier giving. Then they sit there bragging about how they paid $35,000 cash for a new car and bought a time share. They always had all this money and would have rather seen my dh file bankrauptcy and he would have paid them back we just needed a little help. Now dh's mom asked us to watch his sister who is 13 while they are away at a wedding for her husbands family I had first agreed but then I find out that they have offered to watch his 24 yr old sister child who is 1 while she works so she don't have to put him in day care. Yet I am recovered now from the surgery and had asked them if they could watch my dd2 for a hour while dh is coming home from work and im going to work and they told me to but dd in day care. Which there is nothing wrong with it's just I would be paying more for day care then I would earning. Would i be wrong for now calling them telling them we can't watch her the week of the wedding? It just seems dh and I are always there for everyone and no one is here for us. I tryed speaking to him about this and he pretty muchly ignores me. Thanks for listening to me vent!

 

[disneyfreak74]

In a way , I know where you are coming from. It always seems that people always ask DH and I for help, BUT if we need help you would think that we were on another planet with how people seem think that it would inconvience them in order to help us.

But. . . I also have a 16 year old sister and I have learned that my house is her "escape". If you had already told the 13 year old that she could stay with you, then I would let her stay. She is not the one that has "snubbed" you. But I would NEVER keep the sister's child!!!

 

[Disneymom4123]

The 13 year old is very mouthy and last time she was at my home told me go to h*** she told me I wrecked her family etc she is very messed up and as sad as her 24 yr old sister in a way i feel for her but the more i think about it im not sure I want my dd2 around someone like that. I know she's young but she picks up everything that is said and done and repeats it!

 

[mickeyluvr004]

i don't want to give you the wrong advise but if it were me and she told me to go to he** i would not let her stay with me (what did your hubby say when she said that??) whose doing the watching you or him? if she is disrespectful toward you, you don't want your 2 year old to see it and repeat. my 3 y o mimics me and i have to make sure i watch my words also. again if she is disrespectful to you than i would think twice. hope this helps and doesn't cause any waves Good luck seems like you are going to need it

 

[robinb]

First of all, I am very sorry that your DH is not the "favored child". I assume he is the oldest and many times parents hold the first-born to a higher standard. I would be royally pissed if they agreed to watch one grandchild all day for free, but can't watch another for a measly hour. It sucks and it's not fair, but there it is. My guess is that it hurts your DH even more than it hurts you which is why he is tuning you out. He doesn't want to be reminded of his parent's poor behavior and favoritism.

As for his 13-year old sister ... it's too bad that you didn't remember her mouthiness before you agreed to baby sit for the little darling. I would tell your in-laws that you realize now that you have returned to work that you simply don't have the time to watch her and that her 24-year old sister will have to do it.

Good luck and {{hugs}}.

 

[Disneymom4123]

This is why I love you guys Dh just don't get things but you guys do! He was very upset at what she said and the only reason that I said we would do it was the mom put me on the spot. Yes my dh is the oldest and has the biggest heart he doesn't like to see anyone hurt and I think that's why he doesn't say a word about it to them. As to all of you who said the 24 yr old sister should watch the other sister I agree! Though that will never happen she is a sad case recovering drug addict.boyfriend does not work and is on drugs and has a one year old child quite the perfect little family! I do think i am going to call his mom to give her enough time to find someone else. I feel bad guess it's because i have such a big heart but this is what I feel is right.