feeling smarter yet

tiggger1

<font color=green>I put vicks on my feet<br><font
Joined
Feb 2, 2002
Messages
4,832
makes you wonder.

( On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

``````````````````````````````````
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey
````````````
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
`````````````````````````````````````````````````

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
`````````````````````````````````````````````
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
`````````````````````````````
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
--Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
````````````````````````````````````````````````````
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a *******, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas.
````````````````````````````
"Half this game is ninety percent mental."

--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
``````````````````````````````````
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
--Al Gore, Vice President
```````````````````
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
--Dan Quayle
``````````
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca
```````````
"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
````````````````````````````````````````````
"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor.
`````````````````````````````````
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

--Bill Clinton, President
``````````````````
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
--Al Gore, VP
````````````````
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
````````````````
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

````````````````````````````````````````````
"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

....Feeling smarter yet?
 
Just for the record, someone has tampered with that list of quotes:

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

--Bill Clinton, President

This wasn't stated by Clinton or anyone else: Snopes is a wonderful thing

And now for my favorite poem, comprised entirely of George W. Bush quotes:

MAKE THE PIE HIGHER
by George W. Bush

I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It's a world of madmen and uncertainty
and potential mental losses.

Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the Internet become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?

They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish can coexist.
Families is where our nation finds hope, where our wings take dream.

Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize society!
Make the pie higher! Make the pie higher!

:teeth: (Sorry...couldn't resist ;) )
 
tiggger1 said:
makes you wonder.

( On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

``````````````````````````````````
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey
````````````
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
`````````````````````````````````````````````````

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
`````````````````````````````````````````````
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
`````````````````````````````
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
--Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
````````````````````````````````````````````````````
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a *******, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas.
````````````````````````````
"Half this game is ninety percent mental."

--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
``````````````````````````````````
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
--Al Gore, Vice President
```````````````````
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
--Dan Quayle
``````````
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca
```````````
"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
````````````````````````````````````````````
"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor.
`````````````````````````````````
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

--Bill Clinton, President
``````````````````
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
--Al Gore, VP
````````````````
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
````````````````
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

````````````````````````````````````````````
"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

....Feeling smarter yet?

This is excellent. Now I know why I am un-famous - I'm too darn smart!

Thanks for the laugh. :teeth:
 



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