Feeling Sad about my Happy Place

[SpaceMan5]

Yeah, I'm doing okay at the moment. Had to cancel my December trip to the US as other life stuff came up. I have a solo day in Disneyland Paris this Thursday, and then 2 days with my Disney buddy. That's doable.

I am looking at vacation next year, and I'm not sure yet. There are no places I really want to visit now. I can go to Morocco (for example), but when I think I'm not going to enjoy it, isn't it better to go to a 'safe' place I know, like Disney World? But a weeklong solo trip to Disney doesn't sound appealing either.

So, mentally at the moment it's okay. Don't ask me about trips ;-)

So glad you are doing ok even if it is "at the moment" There is nothing wrong with that in my book

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Moment by Moment feeling additional grace is always a blessing indeed. Extra love to all of kind you in this thread.

 

[Karin1984]

So, to report back after my DLP trip.
I had one solo day and then two days with my Disney buddy. I broke down crying the moment the CM asked me how I was doing when getting my DAS pass (their equivalent). They have two versions of DAS pass, officially with the paperwork I have, I am entitled to their rides only pass. I asked for an exception to get the pass that includes shows. On my August trip I got a panick attack after being stuck in a crowd (crowd control was very poor that day), and I just didn't want to repeat that. The CM was very nice and gave me a one time exception. Which was really nice of her.

I probably broke down crying due to the stress, they changed the route from the airport to the train station at Paris Charles de Gaulle. My flight was a bit delayed and I had 60 minutes to get to the train. Which was absolutely fine. I normally handle travel stress quite well. I don't know why it was such a big deal this time. Winding myself up, I guess.

The DAS Pass came in handy because the weather was terrible, almost constant rain all day (my feet were soaked), so we basically hopped from show to show.

The trip part with my friend was good, she was tired from her busy work/life schedule, so she wanted to take things slow. We were there for the Christmas entertainment, which was limited this year. So the visit was relaxed.

The first solo day my mind constantly hopped from 'Yes, do a solo trip to WDW or DL!' to 'No, doing a solo trip will be a terrible idea, you are going to be miserable'.
My Disney buddy officially dropped out of doing a US Disney trip next year. Which I knew was probably going to happen, chances were small to begin with.
On one hand I am sad about this, because I do not know where else I would go on holiday at the moment. And sad that my depression gets in the way of vacationing (as in, I don't want to go anywhere and won't be able to enjoy it). On the other hand, it does make my decision easier. Hotels are too expensive for solo trips anyway.

Not in the best headspace now. I know it will pass, as it always does. It just wears me out.

 

[Scootin'By]

Since they don't have a big enough hug emoji, here's a picture instead -

I'm really proud of you for taking the trip. And it sounds like you mostly did great!

It sucks that your friend backed out of the US trip. There are a lot of other people to travel with when you're ready, including people here on the Dis. I always come back to something my therapist told me once. If it's not something that makes you happy, don't worry about it. My take on it. If you want to travel to Disney and it makes you happy, go for it. Don't worry about Morocco or what anyone else says. Just do what makes you happy.

Course, I'm still trying to live that myself, but every day is a little better. Still sorta maybe kinda planning a trip to WDW next year -- but we'll see.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Just a bug hug Karin. I am also proud of you and so sorry your friend backed out. I would, if I could, meet up with you sometime at DL. I am local and others in the DL section may as well, check it out when your trip gets closer!

 

[SpaceMan5]

Not in the best headspace now. I know it will pass, as it always does. It just wears me out.

While not in the best headspace you know that it will pass and that is key. It is not a "forever" type of feeling but only temporary and there are better days ahead. Being cognizant of your feelings and being able to wade thru the lows is a really a big deal. You got this!

 

[SpaceMan5]

Since they don't have a big enough hug emoji, here's a picture instead -
View attachment 812459
I'm really proud of you for taking the trip. And it sounds like you mostly did great!

It sucks that your friend backed out of the US trip. There are a lot of other people to travel with when you're ready, including people here on the Dis. I always come back to something my therapist told me once. If it's not something that makes you happy, don't worry about it. My take on it. If you want to travel to Disney and it makes you happy, go for it. Don't worry about Morocco or what anyone else says. Just do what makes you happy.

Course, I'm still trying to live that myself, but every day is a little better. Still sorta maybe kinda planning a trip to WDW next year -- but we'll see.

Hey Scootin'By, What kind words of encouragement. Really happy to hear that everyday gets a little better. That is awesome! And you got this as well! In fact, we all got this.

 

[Scootin'By]

I'm feeling meh today -- which is also why I'm putting off going to bed. My whole week was ... okay(ish), but today just really hit me and I feel like I got knocked down. I'll get up again, but I'm a bit bruised.

Off to brush teeth and do some yoga before bed, then try to sleep because I know that will help too. Tomorrow's another day, right.

 

[SpaceMan5]

You are absolutely right!. Tomorrow is another day and there is nothing wrong with feeling "meh". We all have those kind of days.

You have a great attitude, keep on truck'in

 

[Scootin'By]

Christmas is hard this year. Life is so -- mixed up. I feel like I'm underwater and not sure which way is up and which way is down. Or maybe like I'm lost in the fog and don't know which way is towards home. Yes, I like the second one better. I recently heard an NPR story about one of Taylor Swift's songs where she sings, "I can go anywhere I want, but I can't go home." That's how I feel right now.

I got through the day. It was even a little better than expected. There were some good parts and some awkward parts, but I spent it with my family, so that's what matters.

Sending out lots of love to those trying to make it through the day. Hoping to go running tomorrow and feel better.

Happy Christmas to you, if you celebrate

 

[SpaceMan5]

Christmas is hard this year. Life is so -- mixed up. I feel like I'm underwater and not sure which way is up and which way is down. Or maybe like I'm lost in the fog and don't know which way is towards home. Yes, I like the second one better. I recently heard an NPR story about one of Taylor Swift's songs where she sings, "I can go anywhere I want, but I can't go home." That's how I feel right now.

I got through the day. It was even a little better than expected. There were some good parts and some awkward parts, but I spent it with my family, so that's what matters.

Sending out lots of love to those trying to make it through the day. Hoping to go running tomorrow and feel better.

Happy Christmas to you, if you celebrate

A belated Merry Christmas to you.

I have discovered the holiday season is tough for a lot of us fellow DISers. I see the FB post of quasi friends having a great time in their matching pj's, elaborate dinners, vacations and I want to have that kind of fun but just can't quite get there. Maybe they are smiles when the camera is on them but really not happy inside, dunno.

Take care, it will get better

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Belated Merry Christmas and New Year joy and health to all

 

[Scootin'By]

Hey everyone *waves shyly* Just wanted to drop by and say that I'm alive My 2024 ended on an okay note, but I've been feeling sort of meh. My weight is up (seeing a dietician), my running hurts (getting PT) and my energy levels are down (seeing two therapists). I just can't get into a good routine.

I try to go to sleep on time, but getting up in the morning is really hard. One of my therapists thinks that I'm tired and I should give myself grace, but it's been like this for over a few months now. My alarm goes off and I just don't feel like getting out of bed. Like there's nothing worth getting out of bed. I hit the snooze until I can't any longer and then I finally drag myself out from under the covers, pull on my bathrobe, and reluctantly start the day. After a few hours it gets better and by the time 8 or 9 comes around that night I'm wide awake. Ugh

Then last week, to start the new year, my cell phone fell into the Crystal River, my new phone is lost somewhere between Kentucky and DC, my desktop computer almost died, and my train to WDW for Marathon Weekend is a very tentative TBD because of a snowstorm blowing in tonight. When it rains it pours.

Ah well. C'est la vie.

Thanks for listening.