Feeling a little weirded out here...

[TigerCheer2009]

I do believe my grandpa's gone crackers! And I am so not kidding you.

Evidence:
1) He calls his denture ointment Mustard, and he asked us to pass the mustard one day. We did...and he asked for it again and again until we started handing him other things. We found the right thing.

2) He's being a weird-food-eater. I mean, he's a regular I'll-eat-anything-that-isn't-nailed-down (he's got diabetes and has had heart problems). But he's adding hot pepper sauce to his iced tea, spaghetti sauce in his taco salad...

3) He calls us several times a day and is very disoriented. He just called about five minutes ago. He thought he left his house...didn't know who he was, where he was or where anyone else was. It scares me because-

4) He actually leaves some times! We've had to track him down many a time when he's left-sometimes less than fully awake.

5) He drives.

6) He comes to our house, ranting and raving about odd things like looking for this little kid, having people in his house (his wife and my grandma...one and the same...she's been dead since I was born) and naked women in his bathroom.

I am a little bit afraid. My dad (his son) doesn't want to put him in an old-people house...dad is the primary caregiver! Grandpa's other son doesn't care about what happens as long as he is in the will, I presume.

My whole family has known this. I am wondering if any of you have had this experience. Does it get better??

 

[Boston Tea Party]

Unfortunately, it won't get better. I'll pray for his safety and for your dad to have the wisdom and strength to do what is needed.

 

[iggbees]

my uncle is in the hospital because of complications due to his diabetes, but whatever meds they put him on he apparently tells everyone in my family that the people in the hospital beat him when he's sleeping and one time my parents were in the room and he took a tissue and started eating it, saying it was bologna. he also thought that they put weights on his feet, because he had those little paper booties that they make you wear in the hospital on. it was strange. i totally understand what you are saying.

 

[lsyorke]

Number one, do not let this man drive!! It's obvious to you that he cannot live alone anymore. Time to have a family meeting and discuss options. Sorry to here this, it's sad when a persons minds starts to go. You might want to check what medications he is on. There can be side effects that could cause this. He is not safe being on his own.

 

[cepmom]

I'm sorry to say that I don't think he will get much better....I would seriously consider taking him at least to his doctor and informing the Dr about what is going on. Sounds a lot like my grandfather a few years ago...he had Alzheimer's and my grandmother took care of him almost until the end. She finally had to put in him a nursing home after he fell. He passed away 2 days later. It's scary to see someone got through this....he needs someone to watch over him day and night....maybe if your Dad doesn't want to consider a nursing home, maybe in home help is an option. I would not feel comfortable leaving him home alone.

 

[chell]

Sorry to hear this. Usually it does not get any better. You need to have a nice long talk with your dad. He needs to reconsider his thoughts. Although I don't like the idea of nursing homes either I do think they are needed in cases like this. It can protect your grandfather, keep him from getting hurt, lost or even worse. Please keep us updated on what your family decides to do.

The nursing home can also help regulate his meds and his eating habits.

 

[julia & nicks mom]

Jen -

I have no advice - just hugs!!

It is so hard to watch your grandparents age! I imagine he always spoiled and watched out for you so now it is hard to see somewhat of a role reversal!

But what is even harder than watching your grandparents age - is watching your parents age. I imagine your dad is having a very hard time with this as well. The best you all can do is be there for each other and him!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

No it doesn't. In fact it usually ends up that the person gets in medical trouble, such as an illness or fall and they go to a hospital and then the person gets an evaluation and the doc will not release the person back home. Usually how that plays out. That way the caregiver is "off the hook" so to speak.

Of course it depends on the severity of the illness or injury of course.

Sometimes physical therapy is necessary and that is done at a nursing home. People that are already disoriented become moreso and end up staying.

 

[disykat]

The thing that does get better though is that some of the fear goes away once he is getting proper care. The frustration definately worsens if it is family members doing the care, but the fear lessons because you don't have to worry about him getting lost or setting fire to the house, etc.

In our case, my grandma cared for grandpa. She was eleven years younger than him and still capable of doing so, but it was a tough couple of years for her. Once she accepted the fact that he needed a "babysitter" when she was away it got easier for her to leave the house. She hired someone to "clean house" and he was pretty good about staying to "supervise" while she got out to go shopping, get a haircut, etc. It helped that they lived in a small town so people would watch out for him if he escaped his caregivers - but still very scary if he wandered.

This was back in the day when he was considered senile. Now they have special Altheimer's wards in nursing homes with extra security, etc. I think if my Grandma had to do it over she might have had him live in a facility the last year or so.

 

[Aidensmom]

I am so sorry you are dealing with this!

Talk to your dad more about it, really express your concern. Your grandfather needs to be somewhere that he is constantly supervised, for his own good. Your dad may just be having a hard time accepting it.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

We went through this with my aunt. It started in weird ways, like she'd be yelling repeatedly in the answering machine if we weren't home; or she'd send three different Christmas cards all addressed and signed differently; get lost in familiar areas, etc... That was about 8-9 years ago. It got worse, but slowly. She's since been diagnosed with Alzheimer's/dementia unfortunately. My cousin kept her home as long as he could but she was leaving home and winding up in emergency rooms and once fell face first off her porch into her bushes so now she's in an assisted living facility that specializes in dementia. It's so sad.

The first place to start is with his primary care doctor. Alert him or her to these changes. They'll want to do bloodwork and possibly a head CT to rule out any other causes. They may refer him for a full geriatric evaluation. You may want to get him a bracelet if he doesn't already have one listing his medical problems and consider adding "dementia" and his name and address, etc... You'll also need to take a close look at whether he posesses the faculties to drive safely - not an easy thing but if he's a danger to himself or others it might be necessary to take the car away. Of course there are so many other implications, it's very difficult. You might want to take a look at www.alzheimers.org as a starting point. Best of luck.

 

[PrincessKitty]

I am so sorry! My dad had Alzheimers and I felt so sad and helpless watching him get sicker and sicker.

That said, your grampa needs to see a doctor PRONTO. There are many FIXABLE health problems that look like dementia, but aren't. For instance, a urinary tract infection will make many elders go bonkers. So will thyroid problems, medication interactions, and depression, to name a few other things.

Warmest wishes for the best possible outcome. Such a hard situation for your whole family!

 

[disykat]

PK has a very good point! Several of my elderly relatives have "gone a little bonkers" when having health issues like dehydration, etc. only to bounce back to normal when they are back on track.

 

[ceiligh1]

My grandmother had diabetes and just before her stroke she started losing track of things and not being able to remember the right word. We didnt really notice it until it was too late. People with diabetes are at a greater risk of strokes and before a major one they can have transiaent ischemic attacks (sp?) if caught early a major stroke can be prevented. We have also had a similar issue with another member of the family where it turned out just to be a medication issue. I would at least have him evaluated by his doctor just to make sure. Good luck to you.

 

[PrincessKitty]

PK has a very good point! Several of my elderly relatives have "gone a little bonkers" when having health issues like dehydration, etc. only to bounce back to normal when they are back on track.

Yup, I used to work in a geriatric psychiatry inpatient unit--everybody who came in there got a full medical workup (bloodwork, urine test, drug levels, brain scans, etc.) plus evaluations for depression, bipolar disorder, etc. before they were ever diagnosed with dementia.

 

[crazee4mickey]

Oh I am so sorry to hear this.....has he been taken to the doctor to see what is causing this? I know when people get older things like this can start to happen but maybe there is a medical reason for it.
We had a well respected older doctor in our community who started doing really odd things and it was overlooked by everyone because he was a doctor! He would wet himself, do very uncharacteristic odd things-- then a mistake happened and a patient died, then everyone started talking---it was found out that everyone saw different odd behaviours but no one wanted to address it because they thought it was a one time thing. As it turns out he had a brain tumor(not cancerous)--they operated and he is the way he was before---
Not wanting to upset you but maybe there is a medical reason for the odd behaviours

 

[TigerCheer2009]

Thanks. He called again this morning. He thought he was in a town about 2.5 hours away from here.

My parents and I had a talk too. They said they didn't think he had Alzheimers because he knew who we were most of the time...and that it started about two years ago...and his not-very-caring son who is not my dad will have to start helping us when we go to Disney. They also said he wouldn't get better.

They didn't really want to talk about it-what I'm saying is, I asked, they answered the question. No other information. It was also late, but I am going to try again.

I really really love my grandpa. It scares me with the way he's acting because he's the only grandpa I have left...

I am going to have a talk with my mom. I'll be back.

 

[TigerCheer2009]

Wow. That has to have been one of the shortest conversations in modern history.

She said that he doesn't have any UTI's or anything. My dad takes care of meds, bloodwork and doctor visits and he is taking Grandpa to lunch.

He had heart surgery in the summer which we thought would kind of correct this. It hasn't.

Mom also said that he's always had a hearing problem and for me to "put it like this: you have no idea what day or time it is because you don't go to school or work. That's like Grandpa-he's adrift in the ocean without a life raft. He tries to grab things to get a vantage point, for us, it's Dad...and if you don't see him for a few days then you get kind of scared."

She didn't really want to talk about it. They still don't want to put him in a home after the summer-rehab stuff. They didn't treat him very well.

 

[Twinkles6892]

Awwww Jen, no advice, just lots of hugs

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Give it some time. It's not the type of thing you can really deal with overnight, things happen gradually. The fact that this has been going on for 2 years makes me think that it's more a chronic organic process more so than something acute, but again, he really needs a thorough medical evaluation.

The definition of Alzheimer's is not that people know who they are most of the time (see link in my post above). It's a gradual onset, subtle disease whose features are different for everyone who's affected by it. That may not be what he has but it sure sounds as if there is some element of dementia present. It does take a while for people to come to terms with it (ie your parents - denial is a strong thing), though, so maybe they just can't deal with it right now. I hope your DGF remains safe in the meantime.

If I were you I'd arm myself with information just in case, and start to line up specialists he can see when the time comes for an evaluation (which it will if things continue this way). Good luck and