Feel guilty leaving a child home.....

[Sleeping~Beauty]

Very well stated!
I knew when I read the OP the standard reply would be "well, I could NEVER leave any of my children at home...."

If your DS will be safe and happy w/ your parents then don't second guess your decision. Have a fun vacation w/ Dd!

Actually, in reading through the responses everyone seemed very fair in their answers. They stated what they would do but not in a judgmental way. There is recognition that different things that work for different families.

Have a good time, MarcA!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

It doesn't matter what I would or wouldn't do but IMO if you are asking for reassurance then you are not too sure that you are making the right decision. If you do decide to take the baby I would like to add that 1 year olds get alot out of WDW. I don't know what you mean by "appreciate" it but I know all my kids had a ball at that age. Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

[TaraPA]

In 2002 I had the best Disney trip ever so far....it was just one DS (age 5 at the time) and myself. DH & other DS (age 2 at the time) stayed home. Did I feel guilty leaving them behind? No. I missed my little guy but didn't feel guilty. He had already been to WDW twice & at age 2 he wasn't missing anything. I knew there'd be many more future trips to WDW with him. DH is not a Disney fan so I had much more fun there without him! It was so special, spending that time just with one DS, letting him call the shots & go about WDW at his pace, rather than catering to 4 people's paces. This fall, the little DS (now age 6) and I are heading to WDW alone, without DH or older DS, now 10. Do I feel guilty? No. I think each child deserves alone time with myself, as well as with their father. The only problem this time is that the DS being left at home with DH is 10 1/2 & sure is pulling the guilt trip all out - he said the only way he will be happy staying home is if DH takes him to the Eagles/Cowboys game that Sunday we are gone....those 2 football tickets will be almost as much as the Disney trip!!

 

[StrollPatrolMom]

Very well stated!
I knew when I read the OP the standard reply would be "well, I could NEVER leave any of my children at home...."
QUOTE]

The OP came and asked for opinions...

people gave them...

just because you don't agree doesn't make their response any less valid. I'm one who would never leave a child at home...thats whats right for me and my family, no one is saying it HAS to be right for theirs!

 

[lulugirl]

The OP came and asked for opinions...

people gave them...

just because you don't agree doesn't make their response any less valid. I'm one who would never leave a child at home...thats whats right for me and my family, no one is saying it HAS to be right for theirs!

I was going to respond but frankly you just aren't point worthy.....
Have a lovely day.

 

[DisneyPhD]

We've never done this but whatever your choice...don't feel guilty. Make the choice and stick with it. If you are feeling guilty, maybe it's not the right choice? Only you and your DW can answer that.

Just wanted to share this positive point about taking your son, he's freeeeeeee! LOL (this coming from someone who took her son since he turned 1 so the advice is a bit biased. )

Whichever way you finally decide, don't feel guilt.

I agree.

We have never left one baby behind, but I can see how someone might. In our case my babies always traveled well and were breast feed so being with out mom was hard for them. They loved it even when young (we have taken babies at 7 months, 8 months and 9 months along with 18 months and 2 years old.) So I do agree, if you are unsure about it, consider taking the baby. They are free. If you really want something special for the older child then go with your plan.

We have left both kids behind and taken a parent only trip and that was great. We did feel strange and miss them, but it was wonderful to have some alone time. I think personally if I had one, I might as well bring both.

I did read about a mom wanting to just bring her older DD and leave the 2 year old DS home because he did not travel well and was a bear to deal with in places like WDW. I really understand where she was coming from. If I was in the same situation I might do what she did. Just for us it has always been just as easy to bring the baby with us.

Best of luck and have a great trip.

 

[gris gris]

We left DS at home (with 3 different relatives) when we went in December with DD who was 4. DS was 6 months old. We didn't feel guilty at all, it was a great trip, got to spend quality time with DD, who hadn't had much of us since the baby was born. When we saw other families struggling with baby gear, we were happy to not be in their shoes, although we really did miss DS, especially when we saw those other babies. It worked for us and I'm sure it will work for the OP.

We leave both our kids with family quite a bit and we never let anyone make us feel bad about it. We need our own time too and our kids get to spend some good quality time with the rest of their family. Have a great trip.

 

[TinkerbEllnor]

Not exactly your situation, OP but..

My aunt singularly brought each of her 3 sons to WDW over the summer before they each started kindergarten as a sort of last hurrah of babyhood. Each trip, it was just DAunt and one DS. The other 2 stayed home. There were no hard feelings because they each got a turn to go on the special 'Mommy and Me' trip.

If this was going to be a 'once in a lifetime' kind of trip, no way would I leave someone behind. But given your situation, I would have no guilt about leaving a 1 yr old at home (and I have one). I would not leave an older child at home while bringing their sibling, without swapping it out so each had a turn, because I would not want to endure a lifetime of "Remember when you brought my brother to WDW and left me home" stories.

To tell the truth, (and this was my situation only, not saying this would apply to you) my DD1 did not really care for WDW on our past trip in Feb. She was petrified of the characters, she was very sensitive to loud noises and particularly didn't like the attractions that sprayed water (philharmagic, JIYI, etc). She also was at that awkward stage of just learning to walk where she couldn't effectively walk along holding your hand, and also being very heavy and squirmy to carry full time in a line. She probably would have had a better time at home. Though that was never an option as she was breastfeeding.

In Sept, we are leaving both kids home with grandparents for a parents only trip. We don't feel at all guilty about it because we were just there in Feb with them and are going again in Nov with both kids. DD will be nearer to 2 by that time so hoping she will have grown into her sensitivity a little by that time.

Do whatever works for your family!

 

[Nanu57v]

I'd definately do a trial run ...esp if you've never left him overnight. Our DD is 2 and we've never left her (she nursed for 18 months, so that was part of that issue...couldn't detach the milk source ). I'd definitely do a trial run for a few days so that you aren't far away and he flips out. That said, we've taken DD to WDW at 9 months and 18 months (she weaned at WDW) and she's LOVED it! When we go this fall we already scheduled a night where her grandparents will keep her so that DH and I can have some alone time on our 5th anniversary.

 

[auntie]

I'd agree about the trail run. I think you would know a little bit better how things would go..and when you did make the trip..there wouldn't be any guilt. I don't necessarily have a problem with leaving a child with grandparents...at any age. I think my only hesitation would be if this were the first time you were leaving him. If that were me, I'd be worried and feeling guilty. It wouldn't make for a nice trip. I'd feel much better knowing that he's stayed with grandma before and things went well. If they've watched him before and know his routines..and are physically able to deal with a one year old, that would go a long way toward my being able to enjoy the trip.

 

[SplashMountainMama]

We did our first trip to Disneyworld as a whole family and DH and I brought all 5 kids who, at the time, were 8,7,5,4 and 9 months. It was a wonderful, memorable trip and I couldn't wait to go back. DH isn't quite as big a Disney freak so for the next trip I decided to go back with just the 2 older boys and we had an amazing time doing all the things we wanted to do the first time, but because there were more people to accommodate we couldn't do it all. We explained to the other kids that they would each get a special trip of their own at some point and they are all ok with it. At some point we'll all go back again as a whole family, but in the meantime we're having a blast and my (only) daughter can't wait for her "Princess Trip" with mom. She's next in line for her special trip. Did I miss my other kids while I was gone? Of course, but I still had an amazing time and didn't feel a bit guilty about it. Enjoy your trip!

 

[Marc A.]

Your 3 1/2 YO will probably really enjoy getting all of your attention for a few days, and I bet your parents will enjoy some alone time with the 1 YO too!
Have a great trip!

Oh our little Big Man will be quite spoiled with my parents, no doubt there.
Thanks for the support.

 

[twins2again]

well everyones different so whatever you decide is right for you isnt wrong. Personally I love the pics of my twins as 14 mo old sitting with mickey and I take all the pics I can with characters. they are priceless. Life can have twists and turns and you may not always be able to go to disney,if he has pics,you can show him he went and have some memories to share with him.

 

[bopper]

To me its a choice:

Will the fun I will have seeing my 1-year old interacting with the characters and such outweigh the hassle factor of toting a 1-year old to WDW? I would say the 1-year old will have fun at home, fun at G-mas, or fun at WDW so I would not use that as an overriding factor.

We ended up taking my DD who was 9mo at the time to WDW, but only because DH had a business trip there. It was cute and I have great pictures and since it wasn't really a vacation for me to see WDW it was fine since I didn't need to go on many rides and such that trip.

 

[blessedby3]

I havent read all the posts, but we could never leave a child at home for a family vacation. Whether its the beach, the mountains, or Disney its a family vacation- all the family. We will have #4 here in about 11 weeks and she will be going with us to Disney in Jan. (at 3 1/2 months). I would be miserable on a family vacation without our kids (one or all four). We may have to adjust our schedule a bit with an infant, but she will be completely portable and I am not expecting to have to do too much differently. However it goes we will all be together making memories for each of us- even the baby by way of great pictures!!

 

[sk!mom]

Wow, I'm honestly surprised that so many people wouldn't leave a baby behind. OTOH- I guess I really shouldn't be since I've certainly seen plenty of babies fussing and melting in a stroller in the Florida heat and humidity.

I would leave the baby. My children are 11 years apart and DD was left behind while DH, DS, and I went on two family vacations. Neither trip was to WDW (my DS is not a big WDW fan so Disney is never his choice) but I would not have hesitated to leave her if it had been. My DD was not a good traveler as an infant/toddler. She hated a stroller, hated a car seat, and had difficulty sleeping anywhere but in her own bed. We did not want to give up time with our DS so my mom would come stay at our house so DD would be comfortable and we took off. Once DD was 2, she became much easier to deal with as she understood that the car seat was a necessary evil so all family trips from then on have included her. She is now a happy, well-adjusted, well-traveled 11 year old who I don't think was scarred by being left behind. The only effect I can see is that she has a very close relationship with her grandma as well as us.

They have both been left many times when DH and I travel. Couple trips are very important to our 27 year long marriage.

Just curious- Do you "I could never leave my kids" people ever get away as a couple?

 

[auntie]

I'm one who thinks they should do what's right for their family. I don't have an objection to leaving a child with a grandparent..at any age. As long as the grandparents are capable and it's not too much for them to deal with a one year old. That being said... I personally haven't left kids behind to go to Disney...my youngest went when he was six weeks! We had a four year old and an 11 year old. Leaving the then little guy home wasn't an option...we thought we were going to do that while I was pregnant and planning the trip..but when push came to shove..I just couldn't leave him behind. We did bring Grandma along! It was an extra pair of hands..and honestly the infant wasn't an issue. (the following year when he was running around was more difficult!). After that first trip we went on to have many more. We've experienced Disney with kids of all ages. It's been about 16 years now..since that's how old my youngest is now. We just went on a trip to the WL in May and even his older 20 year old sister and 26 year old brother came along. What can I say we are a Disney family! My husband and I do get away for a couples trip now and then...only I will admit, It has never been to Disney, knowing how much the family loves it, I'd feel guilty about going without them..and they aren't babies! I have left my children at older ages home with a grandparent ...as teenagers, or pre-teens when they didn't want to go on a New Hampshire trip..or even to our seasonal spot in upstate NY. Now of course with having two in their twenties, the younger one has the advantage of being able to stay home with his older siblings.
I really don't feel there is a right or wrong in regards to this. Honestly it's not going to make a bit of difference in the course of the one years olds life if he's left home or if he goes. He certainly will have no memory of it either way. At this age it's really how the rest of the family will feel being without there little guy. If they are going to feel guilty..then it's not worth it..take him. If he's well cared for and you have confidence in the grandparents abilities and that it won't be too much of a strain on them..then enjoy the time with the older child.

 

[FSUGrad97]

Personally, I couldn't do it. We are planning on going next May when youngest dd will be 15mos old and I can't wait. She may not remember the trip, but I still think she would enjoy it.

When we went to the zoo a couple of weeks ago we were at the Childrens part of the Zoo and I held dd up to the bird cage (she 5mos old right now) and she just laughed and giggled at the birds flying around. Will she remember this, no. But I will and I know it gave her some enjoyment.

Maybe you need to reevaluate why you are leaving ds. If it's because you don't think he would enjoy himself you might want to think about taking him, because I think he would have a blast. If there are other reasons then maybe it is a good idea to leave him with G-ma and G-pa.

Like pp said, if you're feeling guilty then maybe you need to sit down and reevaluate the situations and your reasons for not taking him.

Sorry, this probably wasn't much help.

ITA!
This week, we took our three year old and our 7 month old to the Florida Aquarium in Tampa, and both girls LOVED it! My oldest liked pointing out the different fish to my youngest, who giggled and babbled the whole time.

In fact, we will probably be going back to WDW in December for a few days. Like the previous poster said, she may not remember it, but we will.

IMHO, a one year old would have a great time at Disney. We took our oldest two weeks after turning 2 and she STILL talks about that Disney trip, especially meeting the characters.

 

[PudgetteD]

DH, DD (then 12), DS (then 5), and I had a wonderful family vacation @ WDW in 2004, so much so that we decided to do it again in 2005. DS was adamant about not going. He said it was too hot and he didn't like it. After much consideration, DH and I decided that DD and I would take a "girls only" vacation instead. I think that initially he was upset, however, we called and E-mailed him everyday and even bought extra souveniers for him. He was fine when we returned, especially after hearing about all the shopping we did ( he detests shopping!) This year DH and I are going on a kid free WDW anniversary trip and both kids are fine with it. They've given us "to buy" lists and I overheard DD telling DS that this is bargaining material for a longer family trip next year. Did I feel guilty for not taking him....absolutely! However, the extra attention I was able to give DD was very important and being so much older, I'm sure she feels left out sometimes.

 

[leighe]

Go and have a great time. My little sister was a "surprise" and so quite a bit younger than my brother and me. My parents left her with our grandparents on a few trips so my brother and I could really enjoy our time with them and do what we wanted to without having to worry about her being hot or tired or fussy. And then when she got older she did special things with mom and dad that we didn't. It all worked out in the end. DH and I have yet to take DD 18months to Disney although we have been as a couple several times and let her stay with our parents. We are planning our first family trip for this April and we are going to take DD(who will be almost 2) and leave "new" DD (who will be about 9 months) at Nana's. Maybe I'm selfish and awful but I just can't imagine lugging a 9 month old with all her stuff around in the heat and spring break crowds.