Family Vent

[lovetoscrap]

Today was one of those frustrating days on my ECV. I went with DH and my DD's 10 and 14 to a local historic site. It started out with a very long slatted bridge that bounced me around so bad my teeth were chattering. And of course that was very uncomfortable on my feet. The paths were mostly loose gravel which made things difficult and in some places I got stuck. The indoor sections were a big cramped and it was busy so I kept getting stuck in corners and alcoves when people would crowd behind me-- sometimes because they were waiting to get into that area!!! Hello! You can't get in here unless you let me out!

But the worst was my own family. I would stop to read one of the many signs describing things and providing more information and they would step in front of me! Most of the signs were not directly next to the path so I wasn't going to negotiate right next to them. There was plenty of room for the kids to stand to one side or the other of the sign and read but no, they had to stop directly in front of the text. And then after repeatedly having to tell them to move and getting from them DH did it! And then he got cranky with me when I asked him to move and told me that I should just move!

It has been about 2 years that I have used the scooter and strangers don't walk in front of me and block my view of things, and my family would NEVER walk in front of another person in a wheelchair/ECV. Why do they need to do it to me??

And when we went through doors inevitably one of them would go just through the door and stop in front of me, leaving me half in and blocking everyone behind me. They would forget to hold the door open for me and my favorite, I would stop a few feet away from the door if I was in front so one of them could step around and open the door or push the Door open button (most were right next to the door and I can't reach them easily with the ECV) They would just stop behind me and wait!

This was one of those days that makes me want to just stay home and not even bother trying to get out. We are going to an event next weekend and the information has already led me to think that it won't be very accessible and will probably be very crowded, so although it is something we have all been looking forward to I am starting to dread it.

 

[ckdsnynt]

Sometimes those we love are the ones that simply forget about our needs. They don't see that we need those accommodations that someone else might need (and that they freely give!) so they step in front of us or stand in front of us and block our view or forget to hold the door! I know my family sometimes does this! When I call them on it, they feel really bad!

Now, the question is, is it worth the trouble to go out wherever it is they are going next week or is it better to relax at home in peace and quiet while they are out?

 

[peemagg]

Maybe before you all go out again, you need to have a discussion reminding them that you need help with things like doors and seeing signs. I bet that they are just so used to you using the ECV, that they totally forgot that you have issues with somethings that they take for granted. I would start with reminding my husband.

Anyway you go I hope it works out better for you.

 

[lovetoscrap]

When I call them on it, they feel really bad!

Now, the question is, is it worth the trouble to go out wherever it is they are going next week or is it better to relax at home in peace and quiet while they are out?

If mine felt bad I wouldn't have been so frustrated. It probably will be worth it to go, and I will probably get some quiet time. I am bringing a book. Several of the things to see are only accessible by stairs so depending on how interested I am in them and how I am feeling I may skip them.

Maybe before you all go out again, you need to have a discussion reminding them that you need help with things like doors and seeing signs. I bet that they are just so used to you using the ECV, that they totally forgot that you have issues with somethings that they take for granted. I would start with reminding my husband.

Anyway you go I hope it works out better for you.

That is probably a much better idea than my plan. I was going to bring my cane and whack them every time they get in my way.

 

[peemagg]

I like your idea too. Sometimes that is the only way to get their attention. I use my cane from time to time for things that I can't reach like door buttons or things above my head.

Have fun!

 

[MickeyMirth]

I kind of favor the whacking option. It works on so many levels. Depending on the degree of intensity applied it should get their attention. Plus there's just something soothing about a good whackety, whackety, whack sound.
Truly, I'm not really evil or mean but sometimes it comforts me to have less than gracious thoughts. I do not resent or begrudge anyone full use of their limbs. I try to be mindful of the fact that despite my self propulsion issues I have a pretty sweet and blessed life. Still, that whole whackety, whack thing makes me smile.

 

[leebee]

Whackety whack!! My DSis has CP, and although gets around fine with crutches has always used her wheelchair for long-distance walking. Once when we were kids (she was probably about 7) we were walking to the beach, with DSis in her wheelchair, and the neighbor lady who was taking the crew was carrying DSis's crutches. If a car got too close to the single-file line of kids on the edge of the road, well, whackety whack! The neighbor would swing the crutch and scream, "Slow down! Can't you see we have wheelchair here??!!" I know, these days everyone'd be horrified, and with road rage and all it wouldn't surprise me if the neighbor got hurt, but back in the 1970's people were more spirited and less lawsuit-happy. Anyhow, I hardly see my sister now that she and BIL live in New Orleans, but anytime we are out and about with her, I still remember the neighbor yelling at the passing cars, and we all still crack up

 

[cm8]

If mine felt bad I wouldn't have been so frustrated. It probably will be worth it to go, and I will probably get some quiet time. I am bringing a book. Several of the things to see are only accessible by stairs so depending on how interested I am in them and how I am feeling I may skip them.



That is probably a much better idea than my plan. I was going to bring my cane and whack them every time they get in my way.

, That sounds very temping, I hope that you find a way to get the assistance you need from your family.

 

[lovetoscrap]

It all went well with them today. I did have to remind them to not get in front of me, but they were pretty good about it. Actually the worst problem that I had was that a portion of the the paths we had to be on were fresh gravel and I kept getting stuck. They had put them next to the road areas as they also had shuttles so you had the choice to walk or ride. They had told me ahead of time that the shuttles would not be ha. I finally had to just go out in the road instead of the gravel sections of the path and the people working there got upset! They kept telling us I had to stay on the path-- and when I insisted that wouldn't work they had to escort me along the roadway. Apparently they felt their professional shuttle drivers were not capable of seeing a fat woman on a scooter along the side of the road. DH finally got so annoyed with one of them that was arguing with me that he lost his temper and that NEVER happens! He usually gets annoyed with me if I get snippy because I am frustrated, but this was a case where I was being sweet as pie and he lost it!

And actually at the end of the day we did see one shuttle go by that had a handicapped lift. That would have been nice to know! But we enjoyed the event and are really glad we went.