family vacations and teenagers

[luvflorida]

Just wondering how many of you have dealt with this:

When our kids were younger, taking family vacations and small trips was a pleasure and very easy to do. The kids were all on the same school schedule and enjoyed spending time with each other. We have many wonderful memories from many great vacations.

Now, two of our kids are in college and our youngest is almost 13. The last time the entire family went on a vacation together was about five years ago. We continue to take vacations, but it gets harder to do each year. All three kids are on different schedules, and all have different interests. I know it's a natural part of growing up and becoming independent, but it makes me a little sad. It's hardest on our youngest because she's left behind when the other two are away, and she's at that age where the last thing she wants to do is go away on vacation with just mom and dad!

Our almost 13 year old used to love to travel and couldn't wait to pack her suitcase. Now, whenever I even mention taking a trip, she starts to complain and carry-on about how she can't leave her friends, and it won't be any fun. We have made a few mother-daughter trips this year and she does end up having fun, but it's getting harder and harder to convince her to go.

Anyone else have this problem with teenagers and vacations?

 

[jamsmom]

Depending on where the trip is, how about letting her take a friend?

 

[kejoda]

I would let her take a friend also.

 

[luvflorida]

We've thought of doing this, (and our daughter has asked about bringing a friend along), but it seems to bring up other concerns. How do you deal with the hotel room? It doesn't seem appropriate to have both girls sleep in the same room as me and my husband. I suppose we could get connecting rooms or a suite. I'm not sure I'm comfortable with being totally responsible for someone else's teen. Anyone have any experience in this area? Has anybody successfully taken teenage friends along on vacations?

 

[kdibattista]

It has been years since my entire family went on vaction (I'm 26 and married, sister is 23 and married, brother is 17 and sister is 19). We are all going to Disney this December and my brother is complaining about:

1) having to take a week off school
2) having to room with my parents
3) having to go to Disney

We are slowly convincing him that this will be a great time... well okay... at least he's not complaining as much anymore

 

[GeorgeG]

I agree with taking a friend along as long as it's one you're comfortable with. I'd also suggest giving them some freedom, especially at WDW and with reasonable parameters.

Teenagers get to a point where they don't necessarily like to be with mom and dad all the time (until the want money) and might like some free time at the resort pool or one of the water parks. You need to establish the ground rules and stay firm on times to meet up, etc..

We've found that even going with adult friends or relatives it's good to be apart some of the time. Not everyone likes axactly the same things all the time and a little freedom makes a big difference.

 

[NHAnn]

12-15 were the ages that for my DD (now almost 17), that if her step brother (2 yrs older) was not coming, it was bring a friend or not bother -- for her AND for us This was not for Disney vacations though....trips to Florida to visit Gulf Coast and my sister's house in Boca Raton, and Key West.

There were 2 friends that we did this with. One worked out extremely well, the other was "OK" but we would not do it asecond time with that one. (For various reasons I won't get into here, and DD is not even that friendly with that girl anymore). Generally, they other girl's family would pay the airfare and provide some spending money for their child. We would cover most everything else. It was worth every penny!

LAst summer DD and I went on a mom-daughter trip to WDW and had a great time! Friday we leave with my DH for 4 mights at the Dolphin, and are meeting up with some DIS friends who also have teenagers! She seems to be looking forward to it!! (OK, maybe not QUITE as excited as mom but she is looking forward to it!! )

 

[thinkerbell]

I can feel your pain. My 22 year old isn't going with us for the first time this year. She would rather stay behind with her boyfriend. We really do understand though. We feel pretty lucky to have had her go for this many years. She went with us last year and was pretty much unhappy the whole trip. We have had a friend to go with her before and it always worked out great. It was a neighbor and her parents always sent plenty of money to cover everything and she was a very pleasant person to be around. This year we are letting our 17 year old son take a friend for the first time. He was excited about our trip to begin with but now he is really excited. He has been the exception to most teens, he seems to not mind being with mom and dad.

 

[Gette88]

We let DD (12) bring a friend with us to WDW last summer. It worked out great. We drove & paid for the room (of course) and her food and we paid when we went to the movies at DTD. Her friend paid for her own tickets and had her own spending money. It was definitly worth the extra expense, which really wasn't that much.

 

[CourtasanSatine]

my sister and I are college age with a HS senior kid brother,tis year at 6 Flags we can go off in the park but only have to check in.Not a bad way to go about it

 

[Snoozan]

I had my 17 yo DS bring a friend to WDW this winter. Worked out just fine-just be sure it's a friend your child doesn't mind spending every minute of every day with. I was surprised that the 2 boys did spend alot of their time with us-guess they figured they'd get alot more done following me around! I didn't mind having the extra friend along as there was no way my 20 yo DS would come on our trip.

We stayed at BWV and had rented a studio, but were pleasantly surprised to be given a 1 bedroom. This worked out wonderfully for us as my DH & I had our own bedroom and much more privacy than the studio. The kids shared the queen pull-out, which worked out okay for them.

 

[FOJMO]

I agree with the "take a friend along" idea. We've been doing it for several years now. Our DD is now 17 and, although she really doesn't like doing the "Disney thing" much right now, when we say we're going somewhere and thinking of just her Dad and I going, she says "No Fair"! I want to go there too!

We're trying to plan next year's vacation (Hawaii, London, another Disney cruise?) and we just don't know whether to plan with her or without her. Mostly because we don't know where and when she's going to college...

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

<font color=navy>My own rascals have been bringing friends along for a few years now. We've mostly been on camping trips, and I consider that to be the same as staying in a hotel, since we're all in a tent together.

For the hotel, I would just make sure everyone slept in their sweats or in some type of sleepwear that is non-revealing (you know what I mean).

I have actually had my ds's and dd's friends along & we stayed in one room - of course, I chaperoned, and the boys stayed w/the boys, and the girls w/the girls, and everyone in sweats - their parents had no problem and neither did I.

If you can afford connecting rooms, though, or a suite - that might be the way to go.

 

[Lynn CC]

Our DS 16 is so sick of DW...I don't know where he came from!
He's gone every year with us, some years we go with my brother's family (they have a DS the same age as mine so it works out good!). We haven't gone since 2001 because DS says they never have anything new and he remembers every little detail from all the years he's been going.
DH really wants to go, we both miss it so much. We love our family vacations. So DH told DS to plan the next trip. We are going for 10 nights so he has to fill the whole trip with things that he wants to do and we will do it, including meals. We get to choose for one day. I have a feeling we will be spending days in Disney Quest, Mini Golfing and ordering room service! LOL

We don't care as long as we get to go! It sounds like a fun trip to me. Whatever works, right?

Your DS 17 will probably love Disney Quest and the mini golf courses that are there too.

Have FUN!

 

[dclwdwlover]

For this reason, we choose the cruise. There seems to be something for everyone. Overall, teenage boys seem to fair better than girls when it comes going away on vacation - but not always. It really depends on the kid. My 17yo son likes to vaca as much as my husb & I do.
When we were planning this year's we gave the boys about 5 different options & told them to pick or give ideas. Every one of us picked the same thing!
When I was a teenager I gave my parents a hard time ALL of the time about going away & they would let my boyfriend go or leave me with someone. I prefer having my son & no friend from home, but we're fortunate because even though he has a ton of friends he never wants to bring any. He always says, "I'll make friends on the trip". And he's right. But I understand your dilemma from my childhood & I think including your teenager in the planning & offering a friend IF you want to might help the situation. Good luck.