Facebook question

[clh2]

My DD has a facebook profile.

She has had it for a while. Just recently, both of my sisters, ages 45 and 48 have asked to be my DD's friend on facebook. My DD, accepted their friendship requests. I wish she would have asked first. I would have told her NO WAY.

I don't know...THIS IS CREEPING ME OUT...and they are my sisters.

My DD is not particularly close to either of my sisters. Heck...I am not particularly close to my sisters. Maybe I am creeped out by this because one of my sisters actually leaves comments every day.

Now - my DD does have other adult friends, mostly related to people from church, related to church activities my DD is involved in. This doesn't bother me at all.

So - I am tempted to tell my sisters that my DD is going to delete them from her friend list at my request.

I don't know...I always feel like there is so much drama on my side of the family, and I always feel like the black sheep. I think any parenting decision I make is going to echo back from one sister somehow to my mom and back through my other sister and I'll look like the parent from heck. Not that I'm going to change my parenting style or anything. It is more that my style is just different than either of my sisters. Case in point...my younger sister (who has a DD the same age as my DD) read me a riot act one day, about my decision to allow my DD to read the "Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants" series of books because one of the characters had sex. Umm sorry...my DD, my rules...your daughter gets your rules.

 

[gate_pourri]

How old is your daughter? If she is 13, I can perhaps see where you are coming from. If she is 17, I think you are overreacting.

 

[okeydokey]

I don't see the harm in allowing her to have contact with her Aunts online unless there is some reason you don't trust your sisters.

 

[HeatherH]

My nephew and my cousin's kids are all "friends" with me on Facebook...I guess I don't understand the problem of a niece and her aunts being friends?

Do you think they are somehow going to judge your parenting decisions via HER Facebook?

Personally, I think it is HER decision, it sounds like she is fine with it and you are the one who has the issues. Unless there is something really sinister going on, I don't see the problem.

 

[LJC1861]

I am an aunt to 11 nieces and nephews, many of whom are on Facebook. I have a Facebook page as well. They all live quite a ways away from me, and I don't get to see them very often. Facebook has been a wonderful way for mee to keep in touch with them. We chat, and send messages back and forth to one another. I love it!!

Linda

 

[daisyduck123]

I wouldn't let it bother me.

My DD14 has over 200 "friends" on Facebook. Many are people with whom she really has no contact/correspondence. I think it's just a thing that they do. The kids are constantly sending friends requests back & forth....I don't see a problem with your DD having her aunts as "friends".

 

[Rafiki Rafiki Rafiki]

I'm friends with my neices and nephews. As a matter of fact, my sisters appreciate my presence in this part of their lives because 1) it allows them to keep track of what their kids are doing and saying online without having to be up in their business, and 2) it allows us to get to know one another and keep up with one another better...making us closer!

My neices and nephews range in age from 12 to 16, btw.

You can monitor what is said between them by watching what they post to one another on your siblings' FB walls...there isn't much on the site that can be harmful or dramatic other than short messages to one another!

And really, if you can't trust your own family to have your children's best interests at heart, then who can you trust?

 

[lulugirl]

I don't understand your concern, is there a reason you don't want Dd to have contact w/ her aunts?

 

[clh2]

OP here...my sister that "talks" to my DD needs to get off her computer and get a life. She lives on the computer except for the 15 or 20 hours a week that she works. I know...this is not my problem it is hers. My sister will not cook dinner, clean her house, and I am not joking. She is on the computer ALL the time. I just feel that my DD's facebook gives her a reason to stay on the computer longer.

My DD - is not close to my sisters. Again...neither am I.

 

[fortheluvofpooh]

from an aunt who is not on her nieces friends list, I say let her have them on. I used to be on my nieces list and saw some photos of her on the page (my niece is 20) and she was in a swim suit doing a pose and I said "put some clothes on", well my niece decided she didn't want me on her page anymore. I am very sad about this. I love my neice and the only reason I said something to her is because I still see her as my little niece and was a bit shocked by the photo. So now I don't get to be on her page. But this is another story. not yours. So my point is, let them be on there, they are not doing anything wrong.

 

[Barb D]

OP here...my sister that "talks" to my DD needs to get off her computer and get a life. She lives on the computer except for the 15 or 20 hours a week that she works. I know...this is not my problem it is hers. My sister will not cook dinner, clean her house, and I am not joking. She is on the computer ALL the time. I just feel that my DD's facebook gives her a reason to stay on the computer longer.

My DD - is not close to my sisters. Again...neither am I.

If your sister wasn't on Facebook with your DD, she would be doing something else on the computer. That's her issue, not yours.

Are you on Facebook? Most of my family is, including my mom (over 70) and her sibs, my sibs, my nieces and nephews, etc. It's a great way to have a bit of contact. Maybe you could get on yourself and sort of keep tabs on what is going on. Maybe even build a bit of a relationship with your sister. My brother (age 50) and I (age 47) have a vicious Scrabble battle going on Facebook now.

FWIW, my sister and I also have vastly different parenting styles. (Coincidentally, one thing we disagreed on was Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. My DD has read the books; hers weren't even allowed to see the absolutely PG movie.) She probably disapproves mightily of a lot of things she sees on my DD's facebook, but fortunately has the sense not to say anything!

 

[FormrCastMbr]

I am an Aunt that is "friends" with her neices on Facebook. I see nothing wrong with it. It's a nice way to keep in touch and say hi once in a while.

My sisters also think I am on the computer way too much but its none of their business. My house is clean and dinner is on the table everynight...the computer is my down time...I do not read books or watch much TV.

 

[MELSMICE]

My DD's are friends with their aunts & uncles on Facebook also. I don't see a problem with it.

 

[zalansky]

I am an Aunt and have my nephews and niece as friends on my Facebook page as well. They range in age 22-25. I don't message them very often but its nice to look at their photos now and then, even the ones of them partying it up. I think you shouldn't let your sisters opinions have such a huge amount of control in your life. People, especially family members, are always going to have opinions about you and your family. Don't let it bother you and let this go.

 

[lemondog]

I am my nephew's "friend" on Facebook. He is a sophomore in high school. I look at it as a good way to keep an eye on him! He can't get away with much since DH and I are always checking his page.

 

[CathrynRose]

I am my nephew's "friend" on Facebook. He is a sophomore in high school. I look at it as a good way to keep an eye on him! He can't get away with much since DH and I are always checking his page.

I think this is kinda the OP's point. She mentioned she didn't want gossip about herself, or her daughter getting around since she is the 'blacksheep' of the family.

I understand your concern. *I* am the black sheep and most of my family is on Facebook, and none of them are my 'friends'.

Good luck with your decision. Perhaps if your daughter is aware of how you feel and why, she'd de-friend them herself. I know my boys have none of the family on their page, either.

 

[browneyes106]

Maybe just monitor your daughter's communications with your sisters and if you see something wrong tell your daughter or sisters right away.

 

[Mysteria]

Unless there is something about your sisters that is a danger to your kids I'd let it go. You are looking at causing more of a rift than it's worth to take them off at this point without reason.

I have a huge amount of family on my facebook including niece and nephews.

 

[kellimomo3]

this is not something I would worry about at all. I think it's great that they are Facebook friends. Since you mentioned that you were not close with your sisters, this might be the only way your daughter can form a bond with them. I am friends with lots of younger relatives on Facebook, don't knock it till you try it!!

Kelli
mom of 3 boyz...

 

[bicker]

It is great to be connect up with family members online on services like Facebook.