ex husband vent

[hugabearjo]

thanks guys, for what ever reason it helps to know I am not alone. I found so many times in reading your posts that I was shaking my head that I have been through that. I will contact support enforcement again. Last time they told me to steal his trash to figure out where he was working. Needless to say I never did.

Stego you are wise. I know in my head you are right. He has washed his hands of the kids he sees them maybe 5 times a year for less then 48 hours he can't handle more then that. He takes no responsibility for anything. I have given him sports schedules, school conference times etc. for years and he never shows up. I feel bad for my kids.

Does anyone know how to find out someone's bank account # or where they are working short of following them or digging through the trash. BOth of which I am unwilling to do?

Thanks again for the support, I really need it right now.

 

[floridaminnie]

If they are working, they'll be filling their income with the IRS. Might want to consult an attorney. Usually the initial visit is free or a nominal charge.

 

[Pete's Mom]

Reading this makes me feel very thankful that my ex pays on time and doesn't give me any grief. I couldn't imagine being in your shoes hugabearjo. I agree with the other posters that garnishment is the best option. Good luck!

 

[KimRaye]

Originally posted by Belle1962
I believe the Child Welfare Act of 1985:

MANDATES wage garnishment except in a few circumstances

Provides that the State Office of Child Support Enforcement MUST represent you for FREE or nominal cost REGARDLESS of your income if you have custody/support order (and they do include medical coverage).

Call your local child support enforcement office first or see if they have a website.

I am currently (for 3 months now) trying to fix something that our "lovely" dept. decided to get involved with for some reason and change (enforcing an OLD order and, reducing CS!). I Sooooo pity the people that HAVE to use this "free" service. EVERY TIME I've had problems, I end up with a private attorney that has literally cost more than what I was owed. I had to think long-term tho, getting the orders in place was a start.

Over the years I have also heard how nice my new TV was, since I had all this CS $$!!! and, I'd throw him out. Ignorance beyond belief.

Briar Rose said: the children have the right to the financial support of both parents......This couldn't be MORE true. If ONLY the non-custodial parent would understand, EVER.

As much as I love my DS and, DS loves his dad and, his dad loves him, I've considered letting dad take DS just so he sees how much day-to-day life with a teenager costs! DS doesn't want to go tho. And, I'll keep DS for as long as HE lets me.

 

[TIGGERSMOM]

I have been where you stand. I stopped waiting for cash and moved on and you know what - I REGRET IT!

All it says is I am a sap, a weakling who would rather lay down and take it than stand up and scream about it. Not a good lesson to teach your kid, that he is not important enough for you to fight for.

I should have held his feet to the flames. Frankly if he isn't gonna pay up who cares if he is in jail. The he won't get another job doesn't cut it either, he already quit a good job for minimum wage - doesn't take a brick hitting me on the head. He could care less so why should you.

I am very glad to say that here in Mass we have a ten most wanted deadbeat dads. They just rendited one from out west for being in arrears over 25,000.00 I say great.

They also suspend drivers licenses, and with reciprocity nationwide it suspends them every where in the US. Any professional licenses are also suspended.

I really wouldn't give a rat's behind if he couldn't find a job after.
He is committing a crime, so unless I missed an exemption to the law making him feel bad is not a legal defense.

THROW HIS *** IN JAIL!

 

[Lucky4me]

My best friend is going through this now.

Her ex paid child support for 6 years without complaint. Then things started falling apart between he and the 3 kids. He's a psycho control freak (which is why she divorced him) and the kids got tired of his BS. He met a doctor and married her. Reversed his vasectomy, quit his job, had another child and stopped all child support and seeing his first three. It's been 2 years since he's paid or seen them.
They've been to court three times to lower the amount. Right now he's obligated to pay $54 a week. He can't find work. The man has an MBA and told the court he was going to Community college full time. He's thousands in arrears. After all this time if he doesn't fork over $6000 by May 16th, he loses his drivers license. Big whup. I don't think he's going to care until they put him in jail which will be several years from now. The process is excruciatingly slow.


My advice to my friend is to take care of the kids and forget about the scum bag. Pretend that he is dead. In the meantime don't stop trying to get the CS, just try not to obsess over it. One way or another it will all work out. If she goes the high road and throws herself 100% into parenting those children, she and the kids will thrive without anything from that man.

Good luck with your situation, I know it's not easy.

 

[Tuffcookie]

Glad you know you are not alone! The reason I suggested call the child enforcement case worker was, it's easy to say "take him back to court", but when you're struggling as it is, it's hard to get the money to file the court fees and pay a lawyer. Get your case workers to help!!!

TC