ever look like the family heel?

[HOGFAN]

I am trying to get out of going to an extended family vacation to Atlanta next summer. We usually have about 15-20 people. The problem is that it comes on the heels of our London vacation($$$) We also plan to do Disney next November. I dont want to spend the money for Atlanta when I want to save it for WDW. BUT, if I say that we arent going to Atlanta, then I look like a you-know-what. Have you been in this situation before? Its not like we dont ever get to see most of these family members. Most of them live right here in town.

 

[Mandabella]

Why not tell them the truth? You've already got two trips planned in 2006 and cannot afford a third one.

 

[jedi_librarian]

I don't think they should see you as a "you-know-what". You have a perfectly good reason not to go to Atlanta. (besides - who wants to go to Atlanta in the Summer? )

 

[HOGFAN]

well,DH is not exctly a mommas boy,but if his "momma" wants everyone to go, everyone usually goes or risks being in the doghouse.

 

[jedi_librarian]

Oh...It's one of those situations..

Well, do they know that you're doing 2 other trips this year? It's not a matter of you having to cancel one of your other trips, is it?

 

[clh2]

well,DH is not exctly a mommas boy,but if his "momma" wants everyone to go, everyone usually goes or risks being in the doghouse.

I pretty much live in the family doghouse. Although for whatever reason, it is one of my sisters that determines who lives there, not my parents.

I feel like the blacksheep ALL the time where my family is concerned. A good example was last year at Christmas. I hosted my family. My sister (the dog-house controller) needed the date changed 3 times, due to ongoing conflicts. Then - I didn't "understand" when her family needed to leave shortly after they arrived, since now their DD had to go to a sleepover.

Yep, blacksheep here. I wear it well!

If London and DW were planned prior to the Atlanta trip, say so, and just move on. Life is far too short to worry about upsetting your family. And - if that's all they have to complain about, life must be pretty good for them too!

 

[Deb & Bill]

Tell them you'll be looking forward to calling them all in Atlanta this summer.

 

[kristen821]

If you'll be in the doghouse for the truth then a little white lie won't hurt anyone Say you have to work or the kids have something you can't get out of. Just make sure they book the trip before you tell them so they don't change dates.

 

[jfulcer]

I am trying to get out of going to an extended family vacation to Atlanta next summer. We usually have about 15-20 people. The problem is that it comes on the heels of our London vacation($$$) We also plan to do Disney next November. I dont want to spend the money for Atlanta when I want to save it for WDW. BUT, if I say that we arent going to Atlanta, then I look like a you-know-what. Have you been in this situation before? Its not like we dont ever get to see most of these family members. Most of them live right here in town.

It took DW a LONG time to understand I married her because I wanted to marry her, and that her parents take a back seat to us and our family. I am persona-non-grata at my inlaws house because of this, but I spend my time with my family on my grounds, not theirs.

It's hard the first few times, but it gets easier. Be Honest (Honesty is the best Policy) and tell them you have other trips planned and can't do all 3. Similar to what another poster said - tell them you look forward to seeing their pictures afterwards.

 

[HOGFAN]

thanks for the ideas and support guys