etiquette around dinner seating?

[Ruth B]

Hello all,

Last summer my son and i were on a 3 night crusie.
The first night we arrived for dinner to find we were on a 10 people table. It was a rectangle table so we sat opporsit each other and waited for our table guest to arrive.

5 mins later another family of 3 arrived( mom and 2 teenage boys) who all sat next to each other. The final family of 5 arrived and had to sit with one on the same side as the family of 3 and the other 4 on the same side as me. They didn't seem at all happy about this and i felt awkard that i had sat opporsit my son instaed on next too.( did say i would move but they didn't seem happy with that either)

What is the etiquette around this?.
if it had been a round table i would have sat next to my son, but at a rectangle table i have always sat opporsit my table mates( or in a party of 4- 2 each side- not in a straight row?? )

anyone else experienced this or any views?

 

[MouseFaninQueue]

I guess it really depends. If it was just my wife and I, I would sit across from her. If it was just my eldest daughter and I, she's 5, I would sit beside her. Sitting beside my DD5 makes it easier for her and I to converse and for her to ask me questions or for assistance without others having to overhear.

I guess the proper ettiquette is.... it depends. With a teenage son, I might have sat across from him as well.

With the family of 3, I guess I can see both sides as well.

I think they might just have not been pleased with having to a share a table at all and it was a no-win situation for you.

 

[tampaguys]

The classic Emily Post-style etiquette is NOT to sit side-by-side with your "date," but this only really applies to couples at a dinner table with other couples.

Frankly, it was Disney who committed a bit of a social faux pas by putting three odd-sized groups at a rectangular table. Round is always preferred under such conditions, since it allows people to converse more freely.

Remember, the point of etiquette is to make people feel COMFORTABLE. Therefore, you should sit any way that makes you and the others at your table feel at ease. If you don't care which way you sit, ask others if they have a preference and go with that.

If someone insists on being difficult and won't be happy with any arrangement, kindly suggest they try Beach Blanket Buffet or room service.

 

[lg3]

I think it was the party of 3 (mom w/2 teenage boys) that made the mistake - they should not have sat all in a row.

 

[MaryKatesMom]

The classic Emily Post-style etiquette is NOT to sit side-by-side with your "date," but this only really applies to couples at a dinner table with other couples.

Frankly, it was Disney who committed a bit of a social faux pas by putting three odd-sized groups at a rectangular table. Round is always preferred under such conditions, since it allows people to converse more freely.

Remember, the point of etiquette is to make people feel COMFORTABLE. Therefore, you should sit any way that makes you and the others at your table feel at ease. If you don't care which way you sit, ask others if they have a preference and go with that.

If someone insists on being difficult and won't be happy with any arrangement, kindly suggest they try Beach Blanket Buffet or room service.

Excellent answer!

 

[Skuba2]

You could have really confused everyone and called a chinese firedrill between the appetizer and the dinner.

DG

 

[Ruth B]

You could have really confused everyone and called a chinese firedrill between the appetizer and the dinner.

DG

What is a Chinese firedrill?, have never heard that expression before

 

[cinjam]

You could have really confused everyone and called a chinese firedrill between the appetizer and the dinner.

DG

Thanks - I just snorted coffee out my nose

 

[birkner]

What is a Chinese firedrill?, have never heard that expression before

From wikipedia:
A Chinese fire drill is a prank that was popular in the United States during the 1960s. It is performed when a car is stopped at a red traffic light, at which point all of the car's occupants get out, run around the car, and return to their own (or go to other) seats. Chinese Fire Drills are sometimes executed when one needs to get something from the trunk of a car. Occasionally, if one of the participants is late to get inside the car, the others might drive off without him/her. People have reported its use as early as the 1940s, so it is likely that the phrase was current at the time, but simply was not written down that early.

The term is also used as a figure of speech to mean any large, ineffective, and chaotic exercise. In this usage, it is often shortened to just "fire drill," omitting the offensive insinuation that Chinese people are more likely to engage in such disorderly activity.

The phrase Chinese Fire Drill, in the sense of "a state of utter confusion," first appeared during World War II. Chinese here comes from British military tradition of using the word to mean clumsy, inept, or inferior. It is likely that this was not intended as a slur on the Chinese people, but rather a play on the phrase "one wing low" which referred to a clumsy pilot and was thought to sound Chinese. Regardless of its origin, it is currently considered offensive.

The use of this term to refer to the car prank first appeared in print during the 1970s, though several people have attested to this usage as far back as the 1940s.

 

[lg3]

What is a Chinese firedrill?, have never heard that expression before

You mean you've never conducted a Chinese fire drill? Wow - you have missed out on one of the silly/fun/juvenile things to do as a teenager. Brings back some fond memories.

 

[Ruth B]

Brinker- thanks for the detailed explanation

Ig3- think it must be a american thing as speaking to friend, none of us 'Brits' are familar with it

 

[WldWcnWmn]

You mean you've never conducted a Chinese fire drill? Wow - you have missed out on one of the silly/fun/juvenile things to do as a teenager. Brings back some fond memories.

So true. Us too.

You could have really confused everyone and called a chinese firedrill between the appetizer and the dinner.
DG

That's too funny! I laughed out loud!

 

[MinnyGranny62]

I have always sat next to Dh..first with a table of 6 then a table of 4. Didn't realize that this was wrong...so maybe next May I will do things right.

 

[dreamcometrue]

when I go out with the whole family (there are 4 of us, we always sit across from each other (2 on each side). If I go out with my DH, he sits across from me, it just makes for easier conversation. When I go out with just the 2 kids, one will sit next to me, one across, and if there is only one kid, he/she usually sits next to me! Having the mom and her 2 teens all sit next to each other seems weird. Have you started your appetizer yet when the last family arrived? I probably would have offered to switch seats so they could have all sat together if I hadn't started to eat yet!

 

[Amlee]

Ok so the bigger family all wanted to sit on one side of the table?
Sounds to me, like they were upset about having to share a table period! But I'm interested to know how the rest of the nights went?

You mean you've never conducted a Chinese fire drill? Wow - you have missed out on one of the silly/fun/juvenile things to do as a teenager. Brings back some fond memories.

Teenager? What? Who said you had to be a teenager to do this? We did one just last week changing drivers at a red light!!

 

[jhannah]

I don't understand why they were upset. You got there first and sat as you felt you should. They were all at the same table. What's the deal with them?

You did the proper thing, IMO.

 

[Ruth B]

Have you started your appetizer yet when the last family arrived? I probably would have offered to switch seats so they could have all sat together if I hadn't started to eat yet!

We has ordered our starters and were eating our bread roll and drinks had been poured. I did offer to move but they declined

 

[Ruth B]

Ok so the bigger family all wanted to sit on one side of the table?
Sounds to me, like they were upset about having to share a table period! But I'm interested to know how the rest of the nights went?

The rest of the night was tense and quite!. Conversation was very hard work. The family of 5 didn't like the food and the kids left to get room service.
The following night only the adults came from the family of 5 and only the children from the family of 3!.
There was more conversation that night after a day in Nassua, although i think we initaiated the majority of it.
The final night everyone was there and i was just gald this was a 3 night cruise and not a 11!

Hopefully in the med we will have easier dinner partners!

 

[Amlee]

Yeah, it sounds like they just didn't like the fact they had to "share" a table. Too bad! Their lost!

I hope you have better luck with the Med, as getting to know my tablemates is one of my favorite things.

 

[birkner]

Ok so the bigger family all wanted to sit on one side of the table?
Sounds to me, like they were upset about having to share a table period! But I'm interested to know how the rest of the nights went?

The rest of the night was tense and quite!. Conversation was very hard work. The family of 5 didn't like the food and the kids left to get room service.
The following night only the adults came from the family of 5 and only the children from the family of 3!.
There was more conversation that night after a day in Nassua, although i think we initaiated the majority of it.
The final night everyone was there and i was just gald this was a 3 night cruise and not a 11!

Hopefully in the med we will have easier dinner partners!

On the Mexican DCL cruise that I took my GD in June of 2005, we were seated at a table that everyone was quite unhappy to have a child seated at the table as the rest of the table were all adults. Conversation was very stilted to say the least. Those three other couples made it very plain they were unhappy seating with a 10 year old.

Half way through the meal, I approached the head server, explained my GD and I were very unhappy with our table, explained why and asked him to change our table seating for us for the next night. The very next night we were seated at a wonderful table with two other GM's traveling with their GD's. What a difference changing a table can make!!

Personally, in you case, I would have changed table mates. I would have never sat even three nights with such unfriendly people. Let them have the table to themselves and change tables is my motto.

Next cruise, we have a table to ourselves with the 7 of us. On the WB repo, we have requested a table with four other couples.

Just my thoughts....