Escape/intimate wedding brides I need your help! Also wedding dilemma p. 1!

[Missy Mouse]

We are trying to keep our guest list down an intimate wedding. Is the count 18 guests plus the bride and groom (20 total) or are they included in the 18 count? What are some tips and tricks to keep it to the minimum? What's included and not included? I didn't find the website to be extremely helpful. I'd love any stories/advice you have. Thanks girls!

 

[roozlilone]

It is 18 plus the bride and groom. And just so you know, anyone with a "heartbeat" is included in the count. I have a nephew who is coming to our VR in July and he is only a year old and he was counted in the 20! Happy Planning!

 

[Missy Mouse]

Thanks so much for letting me know this. I'm a bit worried because DF's best friend's wife has a 10 year old and is pregnant with her second. We really don't want kids there because it really is supposed to be just immediate family and closest friends. I'm worried about hurting feelings, but we really can't accomodate her children. I'm not ready to bring up the subject but I have a feeling we will have some extra room for more guests.

 

[irisbud]

Thanks so much for letting me know this. I'm a bit worried because DF's best friend's wife has a 10 year old and is pregnant with her second. We really don't want kids there because it really is supposed to be just immediate family and closest friends. I'm worried about hurting feelings, but we really can't accomodate her children. I'm not ready to bring up the subject but I have a feeling we will have some extra room for more guests.

Obviously, I don't know you or your guests personally, but we are having a similar issue with one of our guests. I don't want small children at the ceremony simply because we are already a bit over our limit (but are sure we will be under once all have decided) and it can be hard for kids to sit through quietly.

Disney has excellent childcare facilities. I would explain your reasons to them, and gather childcare information to pass along to them. If you decide to do a lunch or dinner later, tell them their children are more than welcome to attend that event (if they are).

Whatever you do, I think that the key is to be consistent. Don't allow others to bring their kids after you have told her that they cannot (unless you are VERY close with the other children) and they really can't have too hard of feelings towards you.

The small guest list thing is hard, but in some ways it is nice. It keeps you from having to invite people you might have to at a larger event by saying "oh, Disney's policies won't let us... ". It can be a nice excuse

Good luck

 

[Missy Mouse]

Thanks. I'm probably going to tell her just that...we really want this to be child-free as there is so much we can do together after the wedding.

 

[disprincessatheart]

For a 10 year old the disney deluxe resorts have evening activities like neverland club where the kids can go and watch movies, play games and eat dinner with other kids. This doesn't start until 4pm I believe, so it will only work if you're doing an evening ceremony.

 

[dakcp2001]

We are having the exact same issue! I am so glad youb posted this!

The childcare that Dis offers is for children ages 4 and up I think, which will be a problem for us.

We are not inviting the children, if anyone has any polite way to go about this, I would appreciate the help!

We are not letting singles bring "dates" again, which is going to be a touchy subject. DF has a sibling that has "Crashed" and brought a date that was univited to 1 wedding that we are aware of. IM not sure hwo to mention it.

So we are not letting people bring dates, we are prob going to cut out the kids for JUST the ceremony part, and we are also having it on a weekday, which I know not everyone will be able to do. I guess we are just hoping not everyone will want to come. The at home reception will cover the peole that cant make the trip.

I think we are getting forced toward the Wishes option, but its sooooo expensive!!

 

[Missy Mouse]

We are having the exact same issue! I am so glad youb posted this!

The childcare that Dis offers is for children ages 4 and up I think, which will be a problem for us.

We are not inviting the children, if anyone has any polite way to go about this, I would appreciate the help!

We are not letting singles bring "dates" again, which is going to be a touchy subject. DF has a sibling that has "Crashed" and brought a date that was univited to 1 wedding that we are aware of. IM not sure hwo to mention it.

So we are not letting people bring dates, we are prob going to cut out the kids for JUST the ceremony part, and we are also having it on a weekday, which I know not everyone will be able to do. I guess we are just hoping not everyone will want to come. The at home reception will cover the peole that cant make the trip.

I think we are getting forced toward the Wishes option, but its sooooo expensive!!

I'm 100% with you on this. My sister has been dating a guy for about 8 months. I hate him. He is such a creep. He makes inappropriate comments to everyone, and even grabs my mom's butt in jest. He's way too sexually open about my sister to everyone, and I was playing with her phone one day and came across some disgusting texts that scarred me for life (shame on me for playing with her phone, I know). There have been many issues with him and other girls and break ups and suspicions of cheating. When he was out with my sister, our cousin and her husband, my cousin caught him blowing a kiss to another girl and called him out on it. He denied it then admitted it but said it was nothing and my sister threw lomaine in his face and there was a big public fight. I DON'T want that drama at my wedding. They break up so much that I know something would ruin this day. I don't care, it IS all about me! I can't control her life or rocky relationship but I can protect me and our families from their drama on my wedding day. The problem is that we are letting DF's sisters bring their bfs/fiances to the wedding. I LOVE them and am thrilled that they're coming. How do I tell my sister that they are bringing a significant other but she can't? I would almost be relieved if she didn't come though. She drinks a lot with him (they're only 22 and 24) and it causes a lot of issues that I don't want to deal with on my wedding day. This is the only thing stressing me out about this wedding.

 

[dakcp2001]

Maybe a "married or engaged" rule? Its so hard to tell people they cant bring someone, I have no idea how we are going to handle it.

The more negative input we get, the more we want to just cut people off the list. Soon we are going to just say forget it and elope on our own.


Disney realizes the Escape is restrictive, the obviously are trying to upsell to the Wishes. It may work on us. lol. The guest list is going to be the deal breaker. We are considering the Swan & Dolphin, but dont want to have to compromise.


I think you should just tell your sister no creeps allowed! Id hate to see creepy touchy feely guy on vacation with a few drinks! No way!!!!

 

[Missy Mouse]

Disney realizes the Escape is restrictive, the obviously are trying to upsell to the Wishes. It may work on us. lol. The guest list is going to be the deal breaker. We are considering the Swan & Dolphin, but dont want to have to compromise.


I think you should just tell your sister no creeps allowed! Id hate to see creepy touchy feely guy on vacation with a few drinks! No way!!!!

Telling my sister her creepy boyfriend isn't allowed may not go over so well. We are thinking about the Swan and Dolphin too. I like the idea of not having a minimum, you're not forced to use Disney vending to make a minimum, you can customize better....but it's still not like having a Disney wedding in the park. I completely know what you mean. We have been lucky. I thought everyone would hate the idea of having to save for Florida, but all of our guests are on board, we are already at our max, and have a lot more family that wants to go...so we may just do Swan & Dolphin. I just want to have a dessert party and dinner at O'Hana. I'm flexible on everything else because just being at Disney makes a wedding magical. Even if we have to spend 10k, that's still 8k less than we were going to spend at home AND we still get to have a free at-home reception.

 

[dawrobin]

I don't think I have tact, but to me it's your wedding and you can celebrate it with exactly who you want there. Which means politley tell your sister and anyone else it is a super small wedding so that means that "unfortunaltey" the bf is not invited.

As long as you are upfront, polite, and not sneaky, it is your wedding and you can have there who you want. Especially with an escape- we only get 18 people. Some locations only allow 10. I had to tell my dad his fiancee is not invited. I was polite but set the expectation wiht him right away so he didn't accidentally invite her and have to deal with an awkward social situation. You will want to address this ASAP.

Good luck. Your family should understand

 

[Missy Mouse]

I don't think I have tact, but to me it's your wedding and you can celebrate it with exactly who you want there. Which means politley tell your sister and anyone else it is a super small wedding so that means that "unfortunaltey" the bf is not invited.

As long as you are upfront, polite, and not sneaky, it is your wedding and you can have there who you want. Especially with an escape- we only get 18 people. Some locations only allow 10. I had to tell my dad his fiancee is not invited. I was polite but set the expectation wiht him right away so he didn't accidentally invite her and have to deal with an awkward social situation. You will want to address this ASAP.

Good luck. Your family should understand

Thanks so much. I'm just worried she'll be upset that my fiance's sisters are bringing their bfs/fiances but she can't bring hers, which in same ways is unfair but I can't explicate the depth of his creepiness enough....

 

[dawrobin]

Are you close with them? More friendly than with the creepy guy? Be honest and say cause of the restrictions you can only invite everyone you want there and that means people will get left out like X. If you are doing an at home recption like I think you mention, maybe concede and let her know you would be more than happy to have him attend that.

If she asks who will be invited do not leave the other bf out cause then it will seem sneaky and dishonest. If you are really concerned for her feelings make the concession for the at home reception.

We have been positioning it to people that Disney only allows a max of 18 guests and unfortunately we have had to leave so many people out. however, we are doing an at home reception where we can include everybody we want and owuld be honored if they can attend that.

We have dealt with some pissy family too. Usually when they are like "what is one more person going ot hurt?" I reply half jokingly with "our bank account since the minmium cost goes up to 10k." That usually shuts em up lol