Eight year old found hanging by hook in school bathroom.

[Rora]

Terrible. So awful.

I cry foul on the school big time for this one. Disgusting.

 

[luvmy3]

Terrible. So awful.

I cry foul on the school big time for this one. Disgusting.

Why? At this point it sounds like it was handled appropriately. It sounds like the teacher was female so it wouldn't be normal practice for her to accompany boys into the bathroom so she waited outside. She waited for him to come out, and got worried and called for him when he didn't answer she called security. What did she do wrong in that case? Sure she could have called to him sooner, but fact is sometimes kids take a little long in the bathroom so here would be no reason to ever suspect anything was wrong. If other kids were coming out and not mentioning something was wrong the teacher would have no reason to suspect anything.
I mean I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt since 8 year olds doing this kind of thing is not common.

 

[happygirl]

Why? At this point it sounds like it was handled appropriately. It sounds like the teacher was female so it wouldn't be normal practice for her to accompany boys into the bathroom so she waited outside. She waited for him to come out, and got worried and called for him when he didn't answer she called security. What did she do wrong in that case? Sure she could have called to him sooner, but fact is sometimes kids take a little long in the bathroom so here would be no reason to ever suspect anything was wrong. If other kids were coming out and not mentioning something was wrong the teacher would have no reason to suspect anything.
I mean I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt since 8 year olds doing this kind of thing is not common.

The only thing I fault for the teacher for is when she called the for him and no answer, instead of calling the security guard which I'm so took time I wish she would have went in and got him. Those few seconds could have meant life or death for this boy.

 

[luvmy3]

The only thing I fault for the teacher for is when she called the for him and no answer, instead of calling the security guard which I'm so took time I wish she would have went in and got him. Those few seconds could have meant life or death for this boy.

I thought about that too, but at that moment she had to decide what was appropriate. If she barged in to the boys bathroom and he was fine, it would be career suicide for her. If she had no reason to suspect anything was wrong (because other kids in the class were coming out and not telling her anything was wrong) she probably didn't see it as an emergency.
Of course I'm assuming all of this, but since incidents like this are not commonplace in today's schools I can't say I think she did anything wrong. Hindsight is always 20/20 and sadly it takes things like this to happen before we learn the right way to react.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Why? At this point it sounds like it was handled appropriately. It sounds like the teacher was female so it wouldn't be normal practice for her to accompany boys into the bathroom so she waited outside. She waited for him to come out, and got worried and called for him when he didn't answer she called security. What did she do wrong in that case? Sure she could have called to him sooner, but fact is sometimes kids take a little long in the bathroom so here would be no reason to ever suspect anything was wrong. If other kids were coming out and not mentioning something was wrong the teacher would have no reason to suspect anything.
I mean I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt since 8 year olds doing this kind of thing is not common.

The father said that he's reported bullying several times and the school did nothing about it. The school says they have no record of him reporting any bullying.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Terrible. So awful.

I cry foul on the school big time for this one. Disgusting.

Agree.

My dd is in middle school and the level of bullying and fighting is sick.

Now I will say that dd's middle school nurse or counselor will work with kids and be a safe place to fall. The nurse will allow kids to come to her and use the bathroom if needed.

The counselor can give kids a "get out of class immediately" pass, for kids that are having issues.

I will be so glad that she is out of there in 2 months. She is counting the days. Just this morning she said middle school is a zoo to house hormonal animals.

 

[luvmy3]

The father said that he's reported bullying several times and the school did nothing about it. The school says they have no record of him reporting any bullying.

So who do you (generally speaking) believe?
Did the dad actually go to the school and document what had happened on the bus? Did he just report it to the bus driver? He has limited English, and maybe a limited knowledge of how to go about reporting.
Even if it was documented, I still don't see the fault of the teacher for the reasons I stated before.

 

[Liberty Belle]

So who do you (generally speaking) believe?
Did the dad actually go to the school and document what had happened on the bus? Did he just report it to the bus driver? He has limited English, and maybe a limited knowledge of how to go about reporting.
Even if it was documented, I still don't see the fault of the teacher for the reasons I stated before.

I'd be more inclined to "believe" the father, though he may not have gone about it appropriately given his lack of English and his cultural differences.

It's hard to find fault with her without knowing all the details. There could have been some distractions in the hallway, etc. Also, our bathrooms do not have outside doors and I forget some do, so in that instance, she probably couldn't have heard anything unless the poor little boy was screaming.

I've been there - as a para, I've had to take the class and individual children to the bathroom thousands of times. I've had to monitor the bathrooms. In our school with our rules, if the class were going to the bathroom together (like I said, they don't all go in at once, but wait in a line with the teacher outside the restroom), it wouldn't have happened - at least wouldn't have been allowed to go past the choking.



So, I'm inclined to think the teacher was negligent, but I wouldn't say that for sure without knowing a lot more.

 

[Mermaid02]

I think it's sad that the teacher couldn't go in and check on the boy because of how it might be perceived.

 

[luvmy3]

I'd be more inclined to "believe" the father, though he may not have gone about it appropriately given his lack of English and his cultural differences.

It's hard to find fault with her without knowing all the details. There could have been some distractions in the hallway, etc. Also, our bathrooms do not have outside doors and I forget some do, so in that instance, she probably couldn't have heard anything unless the poor little boy was screaming.

I've been there - as a para, I've had to take the class and individual children to the bathroom thousands of times. I've had to monitor the bathrooms. In our school with our rules, if the class were going to the bathroom together (like I said, they don't all go in at once, but wait in a line with the teacher outside the restroom), it wouldn't have happened - at least wouldn't have been allowed to go past the choking.



So, I'm inclined to think the teacher was negligent, but I wouldn't say that for sure without knowing a lot more.

ITA
I do think she is negligent in the fact that she could have done something differently, but without knowing why she didn't, I can't say I hold her accountable for what happened to the boy.
I am curious to see what happens to those who did this, if it was just one class it shouldn't be too hard to find out who it was. If it was other students, then if the teacher was standing there she would have seen them left. Its sickening to think that kids so young are capable of being such monsters.

 

[FireDancer]

Where I'm from in NJ grammar school is preK-8th grade and high school is 9th-12th. No middle schools.

Some public school systems are like that here and it is very common for private schools. I went to a private school in the Cleveland area for 1st through 8th grade and all were in the same building (they added a kindergarten when I was in 4th grade).

 

[horseshowmom]

The article said they went in 2 or 3 at a time. It shouldn't be too hard to figure out who went in with him.

 

[Liberty Belle]

The article said they went in 2 or 3 at a time. It shouldn't be too hard to figure out who went in with him.

That's if there were no other boys in there.

 

[happygirl]

That's if there were no other boys in there.

Are you saying he might have tried to commit sucide?

 

[Liberty Belle]

Are you saying he might have tried to commit sucide?

No. The poster said the article stated that the boys went in the restroom two or three at a time. I'm saying, there may have been other boys in there already. Sometimes more than one classroom is going into the restroom at the same time and students are usually allowed to leave the classroom by themselves if they really need to. So there may have been boys in there that weren't in the child's classroom.

 

[NotUrsula]

Where I'm from in NJ grammar school is preK-8th grade and high school is 9th-12th. No middle schools.

Wow I would hate that. I think that too big of age group

Actually, IME, having both the littles and the young teens in the same school has a calming effect on both groups when the faculty makes it a point to have them interact across age lines.

DS is an 8th grader, and for the past two years he has had daily responsibilities for mentoring a young man who is about to complete 1st grade. He makes sure that he has his book bag and gets to his classroom line OK in the mornings, makes sure that he has his food tray at lunch, looks out for him at recess to make sure that no one bullies him, helps him with his reading practice, and sits next to him during Mass every week to help him learn to pay attention and not fidget. As far as "S" is concerned, DS is the coolest kid on earth, which is pretty nice for DS, because he's a bit on the goofy side, but having someone who looks up to him makes him feel better about himself and more aware of a need to try to be more mature and responsible.

The school assigns every upperclassman to mentor a younger child for two years. The older kids tend to groan about it at first (especially the boys), but since everyone has to do it, they get over that. What is noticeable, however, is that is also helps dissuade the older kids from getting too outrageous while on school grounds, because they don't want their little buddies to hear them cursing or see them getting into trouble.

PS: as to the topic of the thread, yes, definitely a nasty incident, but I don't think that it's really the teacher's fault unless she knew that the other kids in the group had a history of bullying this boy. One thing that all schools should do to prevent this particular issue, however, is place all coathooks in restrooms at waist height so that even the shortest kid would still be able to touch the ground were someone to try this. (They should be soft wire, too, so that they will bend under pressure.)

 

[horseshowmom]

That's if there were no other boys in there.

Of course, every school is different. Our school is a K-5, but I know of schools that are divided into K-3, 4-8, and other ways. Generally speaking, if a school is like ours they have separate restrooms for the bigger kids and the smaller ones (in our case K, 1-2, and 3-5).

When they're lined up and sending 2 or 3 in at a time, other students aren't going in and out (they have to get in line like everybody else), but if they did, they would be noticed by a teacher. Further, many schools have cameras in the hallways so that would help as well.

I have to believe that they already have a very good idea who did this (if they don't actually know for sure).

 

[FredinFL]

Just an FYI for everyone, when I have a problem and I send a note, I send it to the person I want to address it, AND to 3-4 other people.

Such as:

Had a problem with a bus driver. Sent the note to the Trans. Dept., the Bus Co., the principal, the Superintendent AND the guy in charge of transportation on the school board, as well as the police department. Problem solved. No one could say they didn't get an email, because I sent it to so many.

 

[NotUrsula]

Just an FYI for everyone, when I have a problem and I send a note, I send it to the person I want to address it, AND to 3-4 other people.

Such as:

Had a problem with a bus driver. Sent the note to the Trans. Dept., the Bus Co., the principal, the Superintendent AND the guy in charge of transportation on the school board, as well as the police department. Problem solved. No one could say they didn't get an email, because I sent it to so many.

They can ALL say that they didn't see it, unless you request a read receipt on the email.

Personally, on issues like this, I do it the old-fashioned way: paper, sent via certified mail.

 

[cm8]

They can ALL say that they didn't see it, unless you request a read receipt on the email.

Personally, on issues like this, I do it the old-fashioned way: paper, sent via certified mail.

agreed!