Have you checked out specific excursions yet? Unless your child is in a stroller, take into consideration that some of them require quite a bit of walking.
There are only about 5 or 6 excursions a 4 year old can do on St. Maarten. I've heard that the St. Maarten Island & Butterfly Farm Tour is good for little ones.
There are about 7 excursions for that age group on St. Thomas/St. John. I've also read that Coral World & Island Drive is a good one, along with the Skyrider to Paradise Point, which is free for kids under 5.
Butterfly farm and Coral World....both very child friendly.
If you do them on your own (rather than as a DCL excursion), you will save $, and you control the time element. Plan to hit the butterfly farm in the morning, about 1/2 hour after the DCL group gets there. It will be crowded when you arrive, then the entire crowd leaves and you have the place to yourself.
Coral World is a "hands on" aquarium type place, and there is a beach right there if you want to extend your time and swim. Discount coupons for admission are available at the tourist info kiosk where the ship docks....and you can get a cab right there.
St. THomas try the Atlantis Submarine ride. I believe there is only a minimum height requirement (36 inches) you go about 85-100 feet below water. My DS6 loved it. You got to see lots of coral, fish, lobster, barracuda. We saw 5 sharks about 4-5 long. Turtles. It was lots of fun. It was a DCL excursion.
We did the Butterfly Farm and Coral World/Coki Beach on our own last month. Saves lots of money compared to Disney's excursions and you can take your time and do things at your own pace.
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