Dying At Home Or The Hospital?

[grinningghost]

If you could choose - would you rather die at home, where your family and favorite things are, or in the hospital, where you wouldn't be reminded of all you're leaving behind?

I honestly can't say - they both sound awful to me.

 

[iwantahemi]

I don't care where just don't want it to drag out over days or months. I don't fear death itself just the possiblity of the suffering leading up to it.

 

[grinningghost]

I don't care where just don't want it to drag out over days or months. I don't fear death itself just the possiblity of the suffering leading up to it.

Agreed. I want it to be quick, not so much for myself, but I hate thinking of my family's faces watching me wither away.

 

[lovmy2girls]

If I had the choice, I think the hospital because, I don't want my family to walk in a room and say this is where she died and not want to go in there.

I only say this because when my MIL died 3 years ago, the daughter still living at home, now 18, will not go in her moms bedroom. Now she wants to move, FIL built this house and has been living in it for 35 yrs now.

Some think it should be left up to the person who is sick, every case is different, do what is right for that family.

 

[vacanut]

That's a tough one and would depend on circumstances.

I would probably prefer to stay in the hospital. I think it would be awful to put my family through that, having to move on and live in the house where I died.

 

[JennyMominRI]

I'd like to use Hospice at home

 

[jennyl772003]

Both my aunt and my grandma died from cancer at home. To be honest, with terminal illnesses like they both had, they were better off at home.

I know my grandma had a DNR order and a living will, but at home she KNEW it would be followed. When it was her time, her son's and husband were with her, and just let her go. Could she have lasted longer in the hospital? Yes, I'm sure she would have. Would that have been quality time? No, she would have probably been in excrutiating pain.

I pick at home.

 

[imsorry]

My sisters and I did home hospice for my Dad. I agree, it is very hard on the family, but I think it was nicer for him to be in his own home, rather than a hospital. We kept a baby monitor next to him the whole time so we always knew if he made a move. My Mom died suddenly at home also. Same house.
All of us were married so we had to sell the house. It never bothered me to go into the house after they were gone, though. I think they both went to a better place - a house is just walls.

 

[TiggerPiglet]

Although I would prefer to die at home, I would probably chose the hospital for the same reason stated by lovmy2girls. (by the way, I have 2 girls too )

 

[anut4disney]

I think I would like to be at home. The reason is because my mom died in a hospital (and the people were great there) my last memory of her is being hooked up to all these tubes.

 

[smilie]

My Grandfather did hospice at home. My Grandmother wanted to make sure he felt at home and at peace.

 

[grinningghost]

All such good, insightful answers so far.

 

[twojo21]

at home.

 

[SunFloridaDisney]

I think it's a hard thing either way, but most important is to have loved ones close by, no matter the location.

My FIL died at a hospital hospice setting, MIL had Alzheimers and couldn't care for him at home, but all his children and grandchildren were there at the end, that was the thing that was special.

 

[justhat]

I think I would pick my home. It's funny the different reactions people have to death. My father died in my parent's bedroom in the house my mom still lives in. I was 17 and living at home at the time and though it was definitely weird at first to come home from school and not have my dad be there, it was comforting to know that it was the last place I saw him and it gave me lots of memories of him. That's the one thing I'll miss about the house when my mom eventually moves and sells it.

OTOH, my grandmother died 2 years later in a hospital. It will be 6 years on December 1st and I've been back in her house twice since then-one of those times only in the backyard and basement. My grandfather still lives there and has kept everything the same and I just feel like she should still be there to the point where I can't even stay in the house. I don't know if it's that she died sort of suddenly (she had colon cancer that spread to her liver and lungs so it was just a matter of time, but she suddenly had a heart attack the day before Thanksgiving and that's what killed her) compared to my father who was in home hospice for 2 months before he died, but being in her house upsets me while I'm fine in my mom's house.

 

[janice1234]

if i had to choose it would be at home with hospice. i think it would give me great peace knowing hospice was helping my family during their loss. those hospice nurses are compassionate, wonderful people.