DW hates Disney..what do I do?

[Glennwood]

My wife is the more practicle of the pair. I embrace my inner-child, where she focuses on life's more serious issues. She tollerates my all my talk and planning of Disney trips, but occasionally lets her frustration with it be known. The agreement that we've come to is that I can plan all the trips I want, as long as I pay for them and give her enough notice. Here's the interesting thing; both DW and I are psychotherapists, specializing in couples counseling! I guess we've never encountered something as big as the mouse before. I have enough insight to know that embracing my inner child is an important part of my development, and accept that her path is a different one, but cant help but feel hurt that she doesn't understand and want to share this with me.
Has anyone else encountered this?

 

[spiceycat]

oh yes there are several who post here - either the wife or husband doesn't like WDW but their mate loves it!!!

I feel sorry for you.

but you know you can't change your mate. You can only change yourself.

So how about every other year you do WDW and then do what she likes - if she is like my brother and doesn't like anything - well you get to stay home every other year.

there have been rare cases - where after a few visits - the mate begins to understand what WDW is about - or they children - what the mate did not enjoy on their own behalf - they appreciate for the children.

 

[WillCAD]

That's a common problem. If she doesn't come around on her own, there are only 3 solutions:

1. Get a divorce.

2. Hire a deprogrammer to rid her of this horrible affliction (Non-Disney-itis).

3. Go solo and let her go someplace else on vacation. Does she like Vegas?

 

[JudyS]

Is there anything she likes at WDW? Golf, shopping, swimming, spa treatments, restaurants? Maybe you can do the parks and she can do something "more adult."

 

[dreamscometrue47]

Oh boy...I know what you are going through. My DH says he is just tired of Disney and after many, many trips, emphatically does not want to go there again. In April 2004, I went with my DD (14) and DS (10) and DH stayed home, but it was because he had just started a new job and couldn't get the time off. Even though we missed him, we had a great trip. My kids are Disney fanatics just like me (especially DS), so it was actually a little bit relaxing for me as I didn't have to worry about my husband and his non-Disney needs!

Anyway, this February we are doing a family Aruba trip. This is one place my husband has always wanted to go, and since the rest of us had what we wanted last year, it's only fair that we do what he wants. And we're not complaining!! As I look at the snow falling here in Massachusetts, I can't wait for Aruba in February.

Husband knows that I can never give up my love for all things Disney. And I know I can go whenever I want and he won't give me a hard time. But I do wish that he loved it as much as I and the kids do. I'm sure that I'll get him back to WDW in 2006 and I'll make it a longer, more relaxing trip and plan different things (like an Illuminations Cruise, Disney golfing, a few really nice PS's, etc.). Maybe someday he'll reluctantly agree that he's OK with Disney. But I've accepted the fact that he will never love it like I do.

 

[Simba's Mom]

I encountered this exact situation a few years ago. So I went by myself for several years and really enjoyed it. DH didn't mind at all-kept me from bugging him to go! The one thing that sort of bothered me was that when I came back, I'd always want to tell him about what a great time I had, and he really wasn't interested. But he did see how much fun I was having, and figured he must be missing something. It took 5 or 6 years, but finally he was "ready" to go back. Now I go solo still every year (he knows I love my solo trips), but he finally wants to go every year too (so I get 2 yearly trips!).

 

[okapi]

If she's as practical as you say then focusing on the "practical" side of Disney might interest her: like there are excellent golf courses, spas, dining and tours.
I agree that it's hard when the other person doesn't seem to want to join in the "fun" and it doesn't sound very nice when she says as long as "you pay for it..." And how a mate can make you pay, huh?
There are other ways...attach it as part of another trip - disney for a few days, follwed by time in the Keys.
Before you can adjust though you need to understand why she doesn't like it. Maybe she hates rides, doesn't like the heat, crowds etc. then adjustments can be better made to accommodate or relieve her dislike.
I have a friend that hates the heat, sun and crowds - she believes disney would be a nightmare - but there is a way to help her get around this better since she now has a 7 and 4 year-old.
I know I had no interest whatsoever in going to Hawaii. Because of that, he had to plan it all himself. He did, we went. It was beautiful, but the best of it was time with my husband. That's what disney is to us really - time with ea. other - maybe if you explained it to her?

 

[djm99]

Ditch her and marry me!!!!! No just kidding!!! At one time I was the same way. As a child I went to DL twice and WDW once. I didn't like Disney at all. As a matter of fact, the only Disney movie I loved as a child (and still do as an adult) is Annie. It wasn't until I became a mother. I would watch Disney movies with my daughter - which have improved DRASTICLY!!! Disney movies are not the same ole same ole - you know the tradition fairly tails (the Princess stories Cinderella, Snow White - It wasn't me!!). They have really branched out culturally and I'd argue spiritually. This sparked a natural love of Disney in my heart. Any time a cartoon makes tear rolls down my face - I know its something special about it!!! And then seeing the characters in person - I feel child-like!

So maybe your wife hasn't really sat down and watched the movies. Give her Brother Bear - if she doesn't tear up somethings wrong with her!!!! Sit on her while you watch Lion King 1, 1 1/2, and 2 - if she's not singing - get her help!!!!

If none of that helps.......

My advice is to find out where she wants to go. Ask her whats her dream vacation! Mexico - then Coronado Springs, The Islands - then Caribbean Beach!! If she's feeling New Orleans then Port Orleans!! If she's feeling Africa then Animal Kingdom Lodge. Hawaii - then Polynesian Resort - and so on!!!!

If its the theme park that she doesn't like I would do lots of on resorts things. There is sooo much to do on the resorts. Also, stay off site for a week and let her enjoy the area. Its also so much to do in Orlando.

Your whole goal is to get her loving Florida - Disney just comes with the package!!!!

 

[DeterminedOne]

DH likes Disney but doesn't see the need to go as often. But this last trip I learned a trick to get DH excited about future trips. Focus more on what he likes to do. And in his case it's golf. We played one round of golf this trip and I promised him that if we can go back next year he can play as many as he wants as long as I don't have to go with him. I say take advantage of your DW's weak spots. If she's a shopper, give her free reign of the credit card while on the trip. If she likes to eat, take her to a few really good restaraurants. If she wants to relax give her plenty of pool and spa time. There's gotta be something that can wear her down. LOL!

 

[rayelias]

Get rid of her. As someone with education in the psychological arts, you should realize something must be seriously wrong with her to not like Disney! Maybe her older siblings used to beat up on her while she watched The Mickey Mouse Club as a child. I suggest shock therapy. And probably lots of drugs.

KIDDING (please!)

Oddly enough, *I'M* the "practical, serious, all-business, left brained" one in our relationship. My fiance is the "free spirit, roll-with-the-punches, right brained" one. Although we both love Disney, it's the ONLY time I truly feel comfortable just letting go and being a kid. No one knows me down there, I don't have to keep up appearances. I'm not "the boss", I'm just a big kid. Seriously, I run from attraction to attraction! I love interacting with the characters! When I'm there, I leave all my stress, all my troubles, all my "adult life" (that kind of sounds dirty, doesn't it?) behind. Stinks when I have to come home, but for that week or so, I can just be a kid again, with no responsibilities, no stress, no deadlines. And when my fiance gets tired (or embarassed) of my behavior, she goes back, relaxes by the pool, or goes to the spa, or does one of those other "grown-up" things while I do my thing. What really sold her, (she used to think Disney was "just for kids", too) was the Food & Wine Festival. She "makes" us go back for that every year, now!

Maybe on your next trip. make it a special "grown up" Disney trip. Focus on the dining, do a fireworks cruise, play some golf, relax at a spa, pool hop, scuba dive in The Living Seas, do a "behind the scenes" tour, see Cirque de Soleil, etc, etc, etc. And maybe when she's all relaxed, lounging in the jacuzzi, tell her you have to make an important phone call and sneak over to Pirates of the Caribbean for a quickie!

 

[Sandyincanada]

Glennwood, what exactly doesn't she like? The heat, the crowds, theme parks in general? I don't think being practical has alot of to do with it because I'm a very practical and logical person and love DW. How often do you go or bug her to go? Do you go to other places (places she wants to go) inbetween trips? DH and I compromise. One year we go to WDW (offseason when its quiet and offsite because again, its quieter) and the next we go to somewhere like Mexico, the DR or Europe. This works great for us, I get my fix and he gets his. In the summer we enjoy the cottage. I find that I enjoy all the vacations in different ways. The kid in me loves DW and the adult loves to experience different cultures. DH couldn't stand going to DW every year. Not everyone likes theme parks and crowds and I highly doubt anything can be done about that. Offseason helps and compromise. Have you also gone to Univ/IOA? DH prefers it so we do both.