DW, Austism and children who refuse to leave...

[Anne5555]

movies until the credits are over and the screen is black. My son, who is a 10 year old boy with autism, will not leave the theater until it is officially over. We can't turn off a TV show or movie at home until the credits are 100% over. And then he usually wants to watch the bonus features. Often we can't leave home without a major struggle if a favorite show is not over. He could not watch the daily televised assembly show at school this past year because he would become upset that they used snippets of songs and not the entire songs. (Another, well, pet peeve is too mild a phrase...) Songs must be finished. And no one else is allowed to sing or dance along during the closing credits but him. (another new pet peeve.) Anyway...

I am wondering how this will affect his first trip to DisneyWorld? It's a reward for him for meeting some much delayed and very important person goals. Will we be trapped in the Hall of Presidents all day? Or maybe the tiki room or the country bear jamboree? The Philharmagic? The Little Mermaid show at HS? I think he will be fine exiting rides because it will be more clear that the ride is over (unless he really, really wants to ride again) but seated shows that might not have a clear ending could be a problem. I can just imagine a struggle with a CM who insists we leave and my son is yelling "after the credits!"

Any advice? Anything we should avoid to prevent this problem? I think the TV in our resort bedroom might be unplugged before he even enters the room the first time so we don't miss 9 am rope drop or an ADR with a $10 per person cancellation fee because he won't leave a TV show.

Thanks!
Anne

PS--I just noticed a typo in the header but it won't let me edit that part! Sorry!

 

[mackay_j]

could you make up printed credits for each show and hand them to him to take away - say that's how its done in Disney so that they can make sure there is time for everyone to see the show.

Or spend time in advance explaining that there are no credits.( may be practice in advance -try some games were you record some programs (he has never seen before ) and cut the credits off.

Depending on age and ability he could write a list of who should have been on the credits - if that works you could do the same at the disney shows.

good luck

 

[aaarcher86]

movies until the credits are over and the screen is black. My son, who is a 10 year old boy with autism, will not leave the theater until it is officially over. We can't turn off a TV show or movie at home until the credits are 100% over. And then he usually wants to watch the bonus features. Often we can't leave home without a major struggle if a favorite show is not over. He could not watch the daily televised assembly show at school this past year because he would become upset that they used snippets of songs and not the entire songs. (Another, well, pet peeve is too mild a phrase...) Songs must be finished. And no one else is allowed to sing or dance along during the closing credits but him. (another new pet peeve.) Anyway...

I am wondering how this will affect his first trip to DisneyWorld? It's a reward for him for meeting some much delayed and very important person goals. Will we be trapped in the Hall of Presidents all day? Or maybe the tiki room or the country bear jamboree? The Philharmagic? The Little Mermaid show at HS? I think he will be fine exiting rides because it will be more clear that the ride is over (unless he really, really wants to ride again) but seated shows that might not have a clear ending could be a problem. I can just imagine a struggle with a CM who insists we leave and my son is yelling "after the credits!"

Any advice? Anything we should avoid to prevent this problem? I think the TV in our resort bedroom might be unplugged before he even enters the room the first time so we don't miss 9 am rope drop or an ADR with a $10 per person cancellation fee because he won't leave a TV show.

Thanks!
Anne

PS--I just noticed a typo in the header but it won't let me edit that part! Sorry!

I'd head to youtube and watch the shows they have at Disney to get an idea of how they end.

I can't say I've ever paid attention, but things like the Little Mermaid show in DHS I believe the curtain closes and it's pretty obvious it's over. BUT, if they keep playing music while guests leave it could be something your son doesn't accept, thinking the music should stop too.

If you watch the videos you could at least determine things that you could skip to avoid him not understanding. Or maybe give one a try and see how he handles it and go from there. Since it's a completely new experience, he may not react in exactly the same way. If he sees everyone in the theater getting up and leaving that might be helpful.

ETA: Here's a link to the Little Mermaid Show https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JnkWjif7Tk - the curtains close and it's clearly over (to us) but it does seem as though there will be music playing while everyone leaves (and I think that's pretty typical. It's rare silent at Disney!). How do you think he'd do with this since they're announcing it's over and time to leave?

Same with Tiki https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLrxgN-msZY

 

[sukhakuli]

Have you used countdown cards? You have cards printed up from 1-5 or 1-10, and an envelope. when the movie is over, you hand him the cards and he puts them one by one in the envelope until he puts the last one in. When the last one goes in, it is time to go. And he gets a reward. You'd need to start this now, and then as time goes by you can shorten the number of cards you use. Alternatively, you can hold up the cards and put them in the envelope.

 

[soniam]

I have no experience with autism; however, my family kind of agrees with your son about credits and snippets. I guess we're particular. Anyway, Tiki is very obvious, I think, because they turn up the lights, open the doors, and the birds tell you to leave. Plus, I think most show type attractions have CMs specifically saying to leave and gently but firmly shooing guests out the doors. He won't be the only straggler. A lot of people seem to hang around, either because of the seats or the AC. Hope you have a great time.

 

[ttintagel]

Hey, I'm neurotypical and I don't leave a movie or turn off the TV until the credits are over! You can learn a lot from them!

Others are right about most shows having a definite ending, with things like closing curtains or house lights coming up, but there usually is exit music playing.

Has he been to plays before? If so, maybe it would be helpful to explain to him that the shows at WDW are like a play, where they don't have credits at the end. If he is familiar with playgoing, and it helps him, you could make a program for each show.

The only one I can think of where the end is maybe less difinite is the Enchanted Tiki Room, where the birds telling the audience to stand up, turn around, and leave while they're singing, "Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho" is part of the show.

FWIW, the theaters usually don't take TOO long to empty, and SOMEBODY has to be the last one out. If that's you and your son, it shouldn't delay you getting to the next attraction by a lot.

 

[Anne5555]

Thank you all for the advice! I like the credits, too, but sometimes I hate waiting through the last 10 minutes of Elmo's World before we can go anywhere. He loves Toy Story, but for some reason Sesame Street is still his favorite TV show.

I looked at those two youtube videos, and I think it might be clear enough to him that the show is over and it's time to leave. He does OK at his sister's ballet recitals. I might make some generic disney theme "programs" to use if necessary and try those countdown cards, too. I've never heard of those! They could be useful at home.

I guess now I'll stress about something else, like finding him GFCF food that he will eat at each park.

 

[aaarcher86]

Thank you all for the advice! I like the credits, too, but sometimes I hate waiting through the last 10 minutes of Elmo's World before we can go anywhere. He loves Toy Story, but for some reason Sesame Street is still his favorite TV show.

I looked at those two youtube videos, and I think it might be clear enough to him that the show is over and it's time to leave. He does OK at his sister's ballet recitals. I might make some generic disney theme "programs" to use if necessary and try those countdown cards, too. I've never heard of those! They could be useful at home.

I guess now I'll stress about something else, like finding him GFCF food that he will eat at each park.

allears.net has a list of all the menus. If he's pretty stuck on generic kids food (chicken fingers, mac and cheese) it'll be pretty easy to find most places at least. Last trip it was all about the macaroni and cheese for us We've branched out to soft pretzels for this year though! Woot!

At the end of the day, if he doesn't do well with the first show you try you can just do other things. There's no shortage of things to do. We did maybe 1 or 2 shows our whole trip (besides Fantasmic!) last February.

 

[Coonhound]

There are already some great ideas here. If nothing else worlds maybe try turning things off at home before the credits- not all at once, but slowly so that over time he will just have to get used to "no credits". Also, the thing about he can sing along with music but no one else can- that you'll have to nip in the bud prior to going...maybe start humming along with him so he will get used to it.

 

[ladyjubilee]

My sons issue is rides with a defined stop, so we always start with attractions that have less defined stops (ie. Conveyor belts.) After he's gotten the hang of WDW we can ride defined stops.

Maybe you could try a variation of this strategy. Start with shows that have a defined stop, then try show that have less defined.

I would also be careful in the shops and restaurants. Some show movies/TV shows on a loop.... especially in DHS.

 

[Toffeewoffy]

Don't, whatever you do, take him to see the Finding Nemo show! As you leave they project the seagulls onto the screen and they're all saying "Bye! Bye!" as the theatre empties. He could well want to sit and watch that until the end - but it just keeps going until the theatre is completely empty.

In general, though - and I know it's easier said than done - you really need to start getting him used to the 'real world' where sometimes you DO have to just leave while things are still on, or turn things off before the credits have finished. My DD has Asbergers but I've never let it completely run the family as it's not fair on everyone else. She hates being interrupted, for example. I've been telling her for years that she's just going to have to get used to it, as that's what normal conversation is like.

Unfortunately obsessional behaviour can fast turn into full-blown OCD and it's easier to nip it in the bud before it gets to be ingrained.

 

[Coonhound]

Don't, whatever you do, take him to see the Finding Nemo show! As you leave they project the seagulls onto the screen and they're all saying "Bye! Bye!" as the theatre empties. He could well want to sit and watch that until the end - but it just keeps going until the theatre is completely empty.

In general, though - and I know it's easier said than done - you really need to start getting him used to the 'real world' where sometimes you DO have to just leave while things are still on, or turn things off before the credits have finished. My DD has Asbergers but I've never let it completely run the family as it's not fair on everyone else. She hates being interrupted, for example. I've been telling her for years that she's just going to have to get used to it, as that's what normal conversation is like.

Unfortunately obsessional behaviour can fast turn into full-blown OCD and it's easier to nip it in the bud before it gets to be ingrained.

This is what I believe as well. It is hard...but behavior like what you said he does where he thinks that no one else should sing along to the music except himself..that is not going to work and is unfair to those around him, especially other kids or even his siblings who will be told to be quiet while he gets to sing..my advice would be to start working on that before Disney, start encouraging family sing-alongs, pop in a sing along DVD or a Disney movie and you sing as well as encouraging all your kids to sing along to it. Eventually he will begin to accept this,, I'm not saying he will like it or it will be easy but I would really make a point to work on that consistently because you don't want him melting down in a show because the person in front of him is humming along to the show, or causing a scene and having to leave the show because he is upset that other people are enjoying the show in a way he does not like.

 

[JeffwithAutism]

movies until the credits are over and the screen is black. My son, who is a 10 year old boy with autism, will not leave the theater until it is officially over. We can't turn off a TV show or movie at home until the credits are 100% over. And then he usually wants to watch the bonus features. Often we can't leave home without a major struggle if a favorite show is not over. He could not watch the daily televised assembly show at school this past year because he would become upset that they used snippets of songs and not the entire songs. (Another, well, pet peeve is too mild a phrase...) Songs must be finished. And no one else is allowed to sing or dance along during the closing credits but him. (another new pet peeve.) Anyway...

I am wondering how this will affect his first trip to DisneyWorld? It's a reward for him for meeting some much delayed and very important person goals. Will we be trapped in the Hall of Presidents all day? Or maybe the tiki room or the country bear jamboree? The Philharmagic? The Little Mermaid show at HS? I think he will be fine exiting rides because it will be more clear that the ride is over (unless he really, really wants to ride again) but seated shows that might not have a clear ending could be a problem. I can just imagine a struggle with a CM who insists we leave and my son is yelling "after the credits!"

Any advice? Anything we should avoid to prevent this problem? I think the TV in our resort bedroom might be unplugged before he even enters the room the first time so we don't miss 9 am rope drop or an ADR with a $10 per person cancellation fee because he won't leave a TV show.

Thanks!
Anne

PS--I just noticed a typo in the header but it won't let me edit that part! Sorry!

Hey Anne,
I've got an 18 year old non-verbal autistic son who has troubles being directed. I honestly don't have any idea how it will work out at Disney World but we have regularly gone to Silver Dollar City in Branson with my son and our experience is that we kind of negotiate and he holds virtually all of the cards. My son likes to ride a single ride and we spend roughly half of the time there. We try to get him to ride a couple of other rides but for the most part it has been a complete flop although we can get him on the train if he gets an extra minute to get on and isn't crowded. He also likes to eat so that is a way to get him away from the one ride.

Bottom-line, you are kind of in for a tough time in my opinion if your son is anything like mine. If you can give him what he wants it works best but obviously there are some safety issues you can't negotiate on.

Good luck, don't push too hard. That has always been my downfall.

 

[Coonhound]

Hey Anne,
I've got an 18 year old non-verbal autistic son who has troubles being directed. I honestly don't have any idea how it will work out at Disney World but we have regularly gone to Silver Dollar City in Branson with my son and our experience is that we kind of negotiate and he holds virtually all of the cards. My son likes to ride a single ride and we spend roughly half of the time there. We try to get him to ride a couple of other rides but for the most part it has been a complete flop although we can get him on the train if he gets an extra minute to get on and isn't crowded. He also likes to eat so that is a way to get him away from the one ride.

Bottom-line, you are kind of in for a tough time in my opinion if your son is anything like mine. If you can give him what he wants it works best but obviously there are some safety issues you can't negotiate on.

Good luck, don't push too hard. That has always been my downfall.

."we kind of negotiate and he holds virtually all the cards".."if you can give him what he wants it works best" really? I feel like it doesn't help to let the child have their own way...that doesn't help them and it sure doesn't help the parent...that's not how the world works or how the family unit should work and it's a real disservice to the child, also if they have any siblings it really causes resentment between siblings...I believe in preparing the child for the path, not preparing the path for the child...when you give in because that is what is easier, or to avoid melt downs, it only reinforces unacceptable behavior..teaching appropriate behavior is HARD and usually feels like banging your head against a brick wall to teach appropriate behavior..but it is necessary...my wife used to say "we teach appropriate behavior and do everything we can to be consistent and nurturing, but bottom line is that if they show they cannot behave properly in public then they don't get to go." OP I would not advise going the same way the PP has said they do things.
Edited to add that the time to fix this is very young because once a child grows to be larger than you, you can't exactly handle meltdowns the same way anymore and you will end up almost being forced to give them their own way all the time because you've let it go til that point. The structure issue has to be in place before the child reaches 3, after that it is almost impossible to deal with. If you don't get a handle on it before 3, you end up not able to take them anywhere because you can't control your child after that point.

 

[ladyjubilee]

Coonhound,

I believe that autism covers a wide range of disorders and severity. My son is on the high side of low functioning, but there is no way I would blindly offer parenting advice to families of his even lower functioning classmates.

This parent knows their child, and based on what is written IS working on the skill. But working on a skill and a child accomplishing that skill are miles apart. Quite often we have to meet our kids where they are and support them at there current level instead of demanding that they magically stop having a cognitive impairment and do what we want them to do.

 

[LuvGoofy6]

I agree with watching youtube to get an idea of the endings of the shows. Perhaps calling or emailing Disney and asking how each show ends may help as well. Truthfully, they move people out fairly quickly to begin the next show. It seems that the music for the next show is often playing. Is it possible for you to write a SHORT social story that will fit on an index card? Laminate the card and take it with you. It can be as simple as: When there is nothing on the screen and all I hear is music, I need to get up and leave the theatre. On the flip side of the card write: It is OK for other people to sing the songs with me when we are at Disney World or The rule at Disney World is that everyone can sing the songs, not just me. For getting off rides that he may want to ride again maybe this social story: If I want to ride again I need to get off the ride and wait in line. Another thought, if you don't want to close down the parks you may need a card that states: We will be leaving the park at _____. Does he respond to social stories? I hope all goes well and your family has a nice vacation.

 

[sharadoc]

I can also offer some encouragement that Disney brings out the best in a lot of kids with autism. Many folks have reported better behavior, or speech, when in Disney. We use Disney World whenever we can to encourage proper behavior.

Does your son do social stories? You could create quick ones about the shows, like

We will watch "Beauty and the Beast" at Hollywood
They will sing songs and dance
When the show is over, the people will leave the stage and we will leave our seats
There are no credits showing like a TV show or movie because it's real people
If there is music playing, we can singalong as we walk, but we have to leave so other children can watch the show.

Or if he needs it to be simpler, I'm sure you can find some picture schedules. I know people who use photo books with standard PECS to reinforce what their child has to do.

We always make sure we reinforce behavior in line too. Like "When the show is over, there will be music playing, but that plays ALL THE TIME, so we can leave the theater."

You may hit issues with pre-shows, like in the Muppets. They do little skits on individual TVs and then the doors open while the skits are still going on. Could be something else that you should prepare him for.

Those of us with kids on the spectrum know we can't "fix" it, but need to find ways to cope. That's what we're here for - helping each other to cope.

 

[Goddesstree]

OP, what do they do at his school? He's not the only one allowed to sing there, is he? Check with his teacher for social stories,

 

[Anne5555]

I think the singing thing is only a problem at home. Maybe he finally realized that mommy does not have a very good singing voice. He does fine at church with everyone singing, and he understands that there are no closing credits after church services or at a dance recital. There were one or two times when he did not want to leave the chapel until the organist stopped playing, which she does for a time after the first service, but now he's in a hurry to leave and go to the children's classes, and he does not wait. Hopefully he will feel the same way at Disney, in a hurry to go on and experience more...

He can be very emotional after an excellent musical number, whether it is an instrumental piece or a small group of singers. Sometimes he calls for "more, more," but he accepts that they are unwilling/unable to do encores.

I think he will do OK with the singing and the lack of credits after shows or 3-D movies. Now I just hope he won't get too tired or overstimulated to experience everything I hope he can. I'm using the promised trip to motivate him to get in better shape. We are all stepping up our exercise in preparation. And we'll pack noise minimizing headphones for the Fantasmic show, if we attend it. Any other fireworks we will probably watch from the Poly beach or the GF.

Thanks,
Anne

 

[blue65829]

nd we'll pack noise minimizing headphones for the Fantasmic show, if we attend it. Any other fireworks we will probably watch from the Poly beach or the GF.

Thanks,
Anne

You may wish to consider having the headphones with you in all the parks, I regard myself as NT but I am very noise sensitive and carry earplugs with me at all times in Disney, some rides, like Dinosaur in Animal Kingdom are excessively, painfully loud.

Additionally, in crowded situations, waiting for a parade or at a counter service restaurant, using a noise buffer can provide a much needed break, helps lower over-stimulation.