IMO to tell a woman
twice that she can't do the tour without the
decision maker - her husband - is sexist plain and simple. The guide did not say both spouses, or even both decision makers, she said the decision maker and when OP explained that this was a decision she was making solo the guide repeated that the
decision maker needed to be on the tour. OP please call and report the CM, we are no longer living in the 19th century, women are not the property of their husbands and yeah, they get to make decisions on their own once in a while, the CM's use of language was offensive and discriminatory and they need to be advised & corrected.
To me the language used is distinct from
DVC's reason for wanting both spouses to attend - I'm ok w/ that. What's offensive and discriminatory are the actual words used by the CM not the reason for wanting both spouses to attend.