DUI ? Time to stop drinking

[Pea-n-Me]

I'll preface this by saying that alcoholism is something I don't know a huge amount about, so I'd like to learn more.

Obviously, this has effected someone I know. Short version: This person has been a longtime drinker (since teens, now in 40s, never seen as a big "problem" as able to hold job, go to school, etc).

Had first DUI less than a year ago. Totalled car by blacking out at wheel and smashing into tree after leaving bar. Attended all required classes and such and had a "work license" 9-5. Continued to drink as usual. Just got license back a few weeks ago. Had another DUI last week, again after leaving bar.

I thought the first DUI would be this person's "rock bottom", but apparently it wasn't.

My question (as dumb as it may sound):

When a person is arrested for DUI, should that person stop drinking - ideally?

Or phrased another way - is it recommended by experts when a person has a DUI, that they completely stop drinking?

 

[indimom]

I'll preface this by saying that alcoholism is something I don't know a huge amount about, so I'd like to learn more.

Obviously, this has effected someone I know. Short version: This person has been a longtime drinker (since teens, now in 40s, never seen as a big "problem" as able to hold job, go to school, etc).

Had first DUI less than a year ago. Totalled car by blacking out at wheel and smashing into tree after leaving bar. Attended all required classes and such and had a "work license" 9-5. Continued to drink as usual. Just got license back a few weeks ago. Had another DUI last week, again after leaving bar.

I thought the first DUI would be this person's "rock bottom", but apparently it wasn't.

My question (as dumb as it may sound):

When a person is arrested for DUI, should that person stop drinking - ideally?

Or phrased another way - is it recommended by experts when a person has a DUI, that they completely stop drinking?

Not a stupid question, but I think anyone who has been drinking regularly for 30 years is going to have a really hard time stopping. I have an extended family member we have watched slowly slide downhill (over the course of decades) due to alcoholism. I assure you, this person is still convinced they are not an acoholic. And every time we think some big, landmark event is going to change things, we are dissapointed: despite collapsed marriages, lost jobs, family problems, relationship issues, accidents, arrests, DUIs, jail, etc.

 

[FireDancer]

It depends on the circumstances. An alcoholic that gets a DUI should probably stop drinking. The normal social drinker that made one bad decision just has to be more careful and stop drinking when they are going to be driving.

I don't think making one mistake and getting a DUI is the end of the world (and definitely don't think people who don't drive for a living should be fired for it) but once you have more than one it becomes a pattern and has to be addressed differently, IMO of course.

 

[geffric]

the person should IMHO definetetly NOT drink and drive.. not just one.. nada.. no drinking and driving ever...

 

[ols386]

It depends on the circumstances. An alcoholic that gets a DUI should probably stop drinking. The normal social drinker that made one bad decision just has to be more careful and stop drinking when they are going to be driving.

I don't think making one mistake and getting a DUI is the end of the world (and definitely don't think people who don't drive for a living should be fired for it) but once you have more than one it becomes a pattern and has to be addressed differently, IMO of course.

It might be the end of the world for someone, who is killed by the drunk driver, even if it's the drunk driver's first offense.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I'll preface this by saying that alcoholism is something I don't know a huge amount about, so I'd like to learn more.

Obviously, this has effected someone I know. Short version: This person has been a longtime drinker (since teens, now in 40s, never seen as a big "problem" as able to hold job, go to school, etc).

Had first DUI less than a year ago. Totalled car by blacking out at wheel and smashing into tree after leaving bar. Attended all required classes and such and had a "work license" 9-5. Continued to drink as usual. Just got license back a few weeks ago. Had another DUI last week, again after leaving bar.

I thought the first DUI would be this person's "rock bottom", but apparently it wasn't.

My question (as dumb as it may sound):

When a person is arrested for DUI, should that person stop drinking - ideally?

Or phrased another way - is it recommended by experts when a person has a DUI, that they completely stop drinking?

My sister's BIL is going to prison after his 3rd DWI. He injured people in his last wreck.

He is still drinking. He is an alcoholic.

Thankfully this time no one is letting him use their car. Still has not gone to prison yet, but that is another story.

Oh and his sentence is 6 months.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

You would think wouldn't you?

However there is no way of knowing what a person's rock bottom is and until they actually reach that you will not be able to convince them there is anything wrong.

I have an Uncle who is a horrible alcoholic but there is nothing wrong with him in his opinion. Not only has he received more than one DUI, His has spent more than 3 years in prison, fallen down a 50ft cliff where his feet had to be surgically re-attached and he even almost killed his own son in a car accident where he had been driving drunk.

You would think any one of these incidents would have been considered a "rock bottom" but none of them have made him see the light. He is fine and we are just picking on him and need to mind our own business.

 

[mhsjax]

It might be the end of the world for someone, who is killed by the drunk driver, even if it's the drunk driver's first offense.

LIke mu hubby who was one his way to work. He just happened to be watching a UFC fight that he taped the night before. He left at 6:40 am instead of 6:35 am. Thank God he did. The woman was flying down the road at 40 mph on the wrong side. 5 minutes ealier hubby would have had no where to go but into the river. He said he wouldn't have done that, he would have hit her head on. This was the woman first time with a DUI, had great insurance and her insurance company said she had a clean driving record. She fled the scene but turned herself in 3 days later.

I don't care weather it was her 1st or 21st. Hearing DH say that all he could think about was OMG I am never going to see my wife or 3 kids again ruled out any compassion I had for her or anyone drinking. I think one DUI and your car should be taken pretty much for ever.

 

[PatsMom]

I don't think anyone should drink and drive. But one DUI does not necessarily make someone an alcoholic. I know at least one person who is simply a social drinker who made a bad decision to drink and drive. He was pulled over and blew 0.09 on the breathalyzer. He was leaving a party. I don't consider this person a problem drinker and thankfully no one was hurt due to his lapse of judgement.

But on the other hand I know lots of people who drink way too much and should probably quit drinking who have never been arrested for DUI and don't drive under the influence. I guess that is one reason why I don't equate DUI with alcoholism.

 

[sbell111]

I don't much care if they stop drinking, but I wouldn't mind if they stopped driving.

My Jeep:

 

[mhsjax]

I don't much care if they stop drinking, but I wouldn't mind if they stopped driving.

My Jeep:

OMG, Were you hurt?

 

[rodeo65]

Functional alcoholism is still alcoholism. I agree with PPs. Don't care if they quit drinking but they should not be on the road.

sbell - that is horriffic!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[sbell111]

OMG, Were you hurt?

It was a head on collision on the interstate at speed. I received some damage. I had a couple spinal fractures that required rods and screws, some pretty bad facial lacerations that required plastic surgery, and my knees don't love me anymore.

 

[mamacatnv]

My brother is an alcoholic. Thankfully he does not drive.
He goes to work, he comes home, he starts in, he goes to bed.
I don't understand it, I don't know why he won't seek help and I know he is killing himself slowly. However, I am thankful every single day that while he may be irresponsible with himself, he is responsible enough to not get behind the wheel and endanger someone else.

If a person gets a DUI IMO it is not something that would make them stop drinking but I really do wish our DUI laws were much tougher so that even the drunks who don't give a fig would think twice before driving.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

anyone who has been drinking regularly for 30 years is going to have a really hard time stopping.

I assure you, this person is still convinced they are not an acoholic.

Good points.

This person, and surprisingly (to me) most of the people they're around, also don't consider this person alcoholic, whereas I always have.

I guess there are still a lot of varying understandings and attitudes toward drinking and alcoholism.

Can anyone offer a distinction between the two?

 

[mhsjax]

It was a head on collision on the interstate at speed. I received some damage. I had a couple spinal fractures that required rods and screws, some pretty bad facial lacerations that required plastic surgery, and my knees don't love me anymore.

Those knees are very unforgiving. Glad you are alive. This is what my DH was facing, he swerved and she went in the same direction as he did, spun him around 3 times, minor aches and pains in neck and back, pretty major damage to back quarter of car, but nothing like yours.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

DUI is a serious crime and shows a lack in judgement, but does not necessarily indicate the person is an alcoholic.

But then an alcoholic can also never have a DUI and still need to stop drinking.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I don't much care if they stop drinking, but I wouldn't mind if they stopped driving.

My Jeep:

Whoa. Glad you remained relatively safe.

Just curious - do you still drive a Jeep?

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Put me in the camp of "I don't care if they drink, but I DO NOT want them to drive."

My father was an alcoholic and finally drank himself to death. He drove drunk ALL the time. If he was awake, he was drunk. Somehow he never got caught, but you better believe he was dangerous.

I think alcoholics have a compulsion to drink. The desire consumes them.

Casual drinkers can take it or leave it.

I am not sure how being DRUNK factors in. For example, I am happy to have ONE glass of wine and leave it at that. I do not drive if I have had ANY alcohol.

I'm not sure if an alcoholic has the goal of being actually drunk, or what they are looking for in terms of satisfying the craving.

 

[mster425]

I am an alcoholic but I have been sober for 6 years.

People who aren't alcoholics probably wouldn't get a second DUI immediately after getting their license back from their first DUI

My cousin has OCD and gets urges to rip out her hair. When we talk about it it sounds a lot like addiction

She knows it hurts and it makes her look bad, but keeps doing it to make the crazy urge to do it go away, and it never does

When I drank, I always wanted more even though I did stupid, horrible things when I drank and hated myself- but I wanted the urge to go away!

As PP said, whether one gets to work on time, keeps their marriage intact, etc has nothing to do with whether or not they are an alcoholic. It's what happens when they drink. If bad things seem to keep happening when the person drinks, that's a problem.

Jackskellingtonsgirl, the goal for me was to make the craving go away. It would only get stronger the more I drank, getting drunk was not the goal (well, during finals week it was) but a side effect.

ETA: yes it DOES seem rational that if you got a DUI, or break your leg, you would stop drinking so much. THAT is how you know if someone is an alcoholic. Defying reason to keep drinking.