DS16 got a job!! (but........)

[DizBelle]

You know your son is not in a normal teen situation so I think he is going to have to make it work.

I would at least give him the benefit of the doubt to at least make a go of it. Is it going to be hard balancing school/work? You bet. However that is his life forever now.

I would at least tell him that if his grades drop he has to quit work and that getting his HS diploma should be top priority.

Working those hours on school nights, how can his grades not drop? When is he supposed to do homework and projects? The human body cannot function without sleep.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

While I get the opportunity to not be the interfering mother and letting him get his start in the restaurant biz...

Don't lose sight of the fact that even though he is a father, he is still a minor--and if laws are being broken, you are allowing your son to be taken advantage of in an illegal manner.

There are many industries where the "work load is just the way it is"--but for minors, it doesn't make it any more "legal" just b/c the practice is customary.

My parents didn't interfere with my work--but that doesn't mean that they didn't pay attention to any signs of illegality.

Heck--when I was pregnant with my first, my mother didn't butt in--but she noticed based on some difficulties I shared with her that my company was breaking the law with me. Her wisdom helped me to get the ball rolling on lodging complaints and in the end everything was rectified. She didn't hold my hand and lodge my complaints for me--but she was able to properly make me aware that the situation that I had dealt with was illegal (or close enough to warrant investigation/remedy).

I know nothing of the restuarant industry. But I do know enough about the law that very few industries get special "passes" to treat minors like adults just b/c it is how things are done. And if the restaurant industry isn't specifically mentioned--they are not exempt.

At least if her son is aware that he is being treated in an illegal manner, then he can make a better informed decision on whether to tolerate it or quit and whether to file a complaint or not.

Gotta say I'm surprised at the number of folks who are essentially acknowledging that breaking the law is okay "just because".

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Working those hours on school nights, how can his grades not drop? When is he supposed to do homework and projects? The human body cannot function without sleep.

Spare me. My teen started homework at that time. It is very doable.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Working those hours on school nights, how can his grades not drop? When is he supposed to do homework and projects? The human body cannot function without sleep.

To me--it's beside the point.

If it's illegal--even if he could function, it doesn't make it okay.

 

[luvsJack]

He can man up and take care of his child without killing himself in the process. Right now he has the chance to make a little money to provide some for his child and live at home without bills while he gets an education so he can provide the bigger things later. He doesn't need to let this job and working these hours force him into working just like this for the rest of his life. If this or any job prevents him from getting an education, he will always be a dishwaher. Its just not worth it if its not what he has to do.

And yes its doable for a teen to do homework late; if that is how they choose to do but remember to add a baby to the equation. A baby that gets sick and doesn't sleep or decides she wants to play at 2 am. And he needs time with his child too.

And I agree with Lisa loves Pooh: If its illegal, everything else is really beside the point. The business should not be doing this and if they are choosing to ignore the law on this what other labor laws are they choosing to ignore?

 

[LuvOrlando]

When I was young my depression era grandfather had a saying, "You've got 2 choices in life. Work hard in school when you are young or work hard when you are old but don't forget, you are old a lot longer than you are young."

I think it's admirable he wants to help out and all, and I don't know your financial circumstances but if it was my kid I would never ever let him/her jeopardize and education that could end up with a $70,000 + job with medical benefits for a $7.50/hour job. I mean, I understand it if it's a choice between eating or starving but in all other circumstances, in my opinion, the family is best served with a diploma at the end and a chance to break out of poverty. I'd push for college courses at night instead of work, but that's just me - it would kill me if my grandkids didn't have every opportunity my own kids have. Hourly wages just wouldn't be enough, it's respectable and honorable but it's also a hard life full of struggles I wouldn't want for them and would fight tooth and nail to avoid.

 

[momrek06]

Wow, OP, how does your DS have any time to even be a 16yo kid?
Sounds like a very intense schedule to me. I sure hope he does not just drop from sheer exhaustion.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

He can man up and take care of his child without killing himself in the process. Right now he has the chance to make a little money to provide some for his child and live at home without bills while he gets an education so he can provide the bigger things later. He doesn't need to let this job and working these hours force him into working just like this for the rest of his life. If this or any job prevents him from getting an education, he will always be a dishwaher. Its just not worth it if its not what he has to do.

And yes its doable for a teen to do homework late; if that is how they choose to do but remember to add a baby to the equation. A baby that gets sick and doesn't sleep or decides she wants to play at 2 am. And he needs time with his child too.

And I agree with Lisa loves Pooh: If its illegal, everything else is really beside the point. The business should not be doing this and if they are choosing to ignore the law on this what other labor laws are they choosing to ignore?

Yes, but what if he can do it? Remember OP said he was looking for work for 8 months. You have to take that into consideration.

Sitting at home over the summer jobless is not going to be good either.

This is not a great situation all the way around. What is wrong with saying to your child, I will let you do this on the condition your grades remain at a decent level.

I certainly think that is a reasonable compromise.

 

[mhsjax]

Spare me. My teen started homework at that time. It is very doable.

So, you child started their homework at 12:00 midnight and then got up early to go to school? Wow. I don't think it is very doable. This is a 16 year old, they still need rest.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

So, you child started their homework at 12:00 midnight and then got up early to go to school? Wow. I don't think it is very doable. This is a 16 year old, they still need rest.

You should see the college schedule. They go to bed at 3am.

Yes, most HSers are up late. It is pretty much the norm. By HS my dd was in charge of her own schedule. We did expect good grades and she worked hard at it.

 

[DizBelle]

You should see the college schedule. They go to bed at 3am.

Yes, most HSers are up late. It is pretty much the norm. By HS my dd was in charge of her own schedule. We did expect good grades and she worked hard at it.

Just because others do it doesn't make it reasonable or healthy. How long do you think a person can really go on only 3.5 hours of sleep every night? Pretty soon, everything will come crashing down.

ETA: for the record, I went to college and graduate school and only remember ONE TIME staying up as late as 3 am (or so) to study for a test. I never once pulled an "all-nighter".

 

[mhsjax]

You should see the college schedule. They go to bed at 3am.

Yes, most HSers are up late. It is pretty much the norm. By HS my dd was in charge of her own schedule. We did expect good grades and she worked hard at it.

This isn't a college kid, and a lot of college kids have classes that start later than HS. I have a middle schooler and he goes to bed between 10:00 and 10:30, but there is no way I would let my kid start homework at 11:30 at night. That may mean that he only gets about 4 -5 hour sleep if that.

You really don't think that I am so ignorant that I don't know what college kids do, do you?

One other thing, you stated that your daughter was in charge of her own schedule, meaning that is she knew that she ha a lot of homeowrk she could start earlier and go to bed earlier. This kid doesn't have that, he is working until 11:30 at night, his job is in charge of his schedule. BIG DIFFERENCE.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Yes, but what if he can do it? Remember OP said he was looking for work for 8 months. You have to take that into consideration.

Sitting at home over the summer jobless is not going to be good either.

This is not a great situation all the way around. What is wrong with saying to your child, I will let you do this on the condition your grades remain at a decent level.

I certainly think that is a reasonable compromise.

To me it is all irrelevant if it is illegal.

IF it is illegal, the OP should make his son aware and then he can make his own choices about what to do about it given his circumstance.

No job is a reasonable compromise if it involves the "boss" abusing your time via illegal means--even if the job requires that. IF it does require that, it probably is a job better saved for 18 yo's.

Arguing over if he can handle it or not--doesn't make it the act more legal.

Child labor law has no contingencies for "if minor can handle schedule, then employer is exempt from law".

Again--OP can handle as she wish. I recommend at least making him aware of the laws pertaining to him and what his employer is legally able to require of him.

 

[luvsJack]

Yes, but what if he can do it? Remember OP said he was looking for work for 8 months. You have to take that into consideration.

Sitting at home over the summer jobless is not going to be good either.

This is not a great situation all the way around. What is wrong with saying to your child, I will let you do this on the condition your grades remain at a decent level.

I certainly think that is a reasonable compromise.

I would still have a problem with it being illegal and even though this kid is a father, he is still a minor. I would also be afraid that the employer would try and take advantage of him in other ways too.

My suggestion to her son would be for him to go to the manager before the next week's schedule is made and let them know how many hours he can work. They cannot fire him for reducing his hours if they are doing something illegal.

I wouldn't let my 16 year do it so the compromise is out of the question for me. Mine worked in fast food during hs and worked a couple of 3 hour shifts during the week and maybe 5 hour shifts on the weekends (maybe more if they closed). With those hours, they were told "as long as your grades do not fall". And they couldn't work at all during baseball season (coach's rule, not mine).

 

[okeydokey]

Wow, OP, how does your DS have any time to even be a 16yo kid?
Sounds like a very intense schedule to me. I sure hope he does not just drop from sheer exhaustion.

He has a baby to support. The being a 16 year old kid door closed long ago.

I think it is admirable for him to be stepping up to the plate, but I agree with the OP, his education has to come first.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

This isn't a college kid, and a lot of college kids have classes that start later than HS. I have a middle schooler and he goes to bed between 10:00 and 10:30, but there is no way I would let my kid start homework at 11:30 at night. That may mean that he only gets about 4 -5 hour sleep if that.

You really don't think that I am so ignorant that I don't know what college kids do, do you?

One other thing, you stated that your daughter was in charge of her own schedule, meaning that is she knew that she ha a lot of homeowrk she could start earlier and go to bed earlier. This kid doesn't have that, he is working until 11:30 at night, his job is in charge of his schedule. BIG DIFFERENCE.

Look we will have to agree to disagree. I would let my son try it out if I had one. I only have dd's.

I would expect my kid to bust his or her butt and still go to school if they had a BF/GF plus baby living in my house.

If it doesn't work out then the kid could quit or negotiate with the boss. However not even trying it out or getting your foot in the door isn't good either.

 

[Pumbaa_]

too much, imho

full time school, and what amounts to f/t work is not practical. Not to mention when does he be a father and help raise his child?

All for someone stepping up to the plate and trying to be responsible, but there are limits.

 

[sbell111]

he is sooooooo excited to have a job! he was really feeling down about not having his own money and not being able to provide anything for his baby (6 months old). i tried to tell him that i want his focus just to be SCHOOL and his relationship with his GF and the baby. but you know how pride is!
well, he really wanted a job, and has been trying hard to find 1 for about 7 or 8 months. he finally got hired at a really nice restaurant as a dishwasher for $8.50/hr. he applied friday, was hired on the spot, and started today.
here's the problem though......he just called to tell me that he is scheduled to work everyday this week straight from school until at least 11:30pm.

Per Florida law, 16 year olds can work until 11pm.

he gets out of school at 2:15 and will start work at 3. he also said they get free food, but no real breaks.

Per Florida law, he should get a 30 minute unpaid break for each four hours that he works. <Edited to reflect changed law.>

HELLO.......he's only 16 AND still in school. what are they thinking??????? what about labor laws? i don't now how he'll ever leave for school at 6:30am when he won't even get home until about midnight EVERY night.
i don't want him to lose his job, but this just isn't right. funny thing is, the manager wanted to make sure he was legal to work, but now doesn't care about the child labor laws?

Florida limits 16 year olds to 30 hours per week.

Therefore, it's possible that the employer is violating three labor laws, scheduling over 30 hours, keeping the child after 11pm, and not giving breaks.

 

[sbell111]

he is underage to work that many hours......our laws say 20 hours a week and no later then nine pm on school nights ....and weekends and school vacations are different

Florida law limits to 11pm and 30 hours for a 16yo. There is no Federal limit.

 

[luvsJack]

Look we will have to agree to disagree. I would let my son try it out if I had one. I only have dd's.

I would expect my kid to bust his or her butt and still go to school if they had a BF/GF plus baby living in my house.

If it doesn't work out then the kid could quit or negotiate with the boss. However not even trying it out or getting your foot in the door isn't good either.

I would expect my child to bust his butt too but not at the expense of his education nor at the expense of his relationship with his child; both of those are important too.

Again, this employer is doing something that is illegal and those laws are in place for a reason.