DS Suspended AGAIN

[Marseeya]

I honestly don't know how much more I can take.

Let me start from yesterday. One of DS's friends was sick, so he had a doctor's excuse to stay home today, even though he felt well. Another kid is homeschooled, and yet another kid is a dropout. DS got it in his head that if he harrassed me enough times, I'd let him stay home today to go hang with his friends. He nagged and bugged me all night last night, and even this morning. I finally made a deal with him just to shut him up that if he went to school, I'd take him to a girlfriend's house in another town (from an older incident, he made up with her and they're now dating. ).

Got a call from the principal today that DS is suspended for a day. I called DS right at 3 and told him to take the bus home and that he was NOT going to his g/f's house. Another round of harrassment and "it's not fair, it's not my fault" until I was ready to scream. He got suspended today because he refused to take notes in class, didn't have a pencil and didn't have any paper. Plus he was being disruptive.

And here's my vent. I am just so sick and tired of dealing with all this CRAP from him. I'm tired. I'm in pain. I'm angry. And now, my schooling is suffering. I'm behind in ALL my classes and I'll have to miss tomorrow's class to stay home with him. I have my Praxis exam this Saturday and I haven't been able to spend a minute of time studying for it because I'm so busy trying to keep up with my other work and stay on him. He doesn't care. He doesn't care about how he affects the family and he doesn't care about his own life. To add insult to injury, DH is off at choir practice in his little la-la land, not a care in the world while I deal with ALL of it. I deal with the phone calls, I deal with the school meetings, and on Saturday after being in testing from 7 a.m. until whenever, I've got to rush home and deal with DS's psychiatrist.

And poor DD. She's such a little sweetie, but it feels like I have to neglect her because I'm spending all my energy on DS. It's so unfair to her.

I need a break. Thanks for listening yet again. Have I worn out my welcome yet with all these DS issues???

 

[EthansMom]

 

[ChristmasElf]

I see from your siggie line that your DS is 15. I'm sure you know that if he continues down this path that he will be lucky to get enough credits to graduate in time for high school. (here you have to have 22 credits)
I have a child who is a Senior this year and it took until late in the Junior year when the guidance counselor mentioned to him that he might not graduate on time with his class as he was running 2.5 credits short and his GPA needed to be higher. (9th and 10th grade he wasted a lot of time and didn't apply himself)

When he figured out that if he didn't get cracking he would be staying on an additional semester that was all it took. He started studying and taking all kinds of credit labs for additional credit hours and he will graduate with the rest of his class.

Is there someone like a grandparent or a neighbor that can stay with him tomorrow so you can go to school? Maybe you can tell him that "the neighbor" across the street will be checking in on him every so often and that he needs to be studying or no girlfriend for 2 weeks will work for you.

Good Luck!

 

[dmslush]

Why do you have to stay home with him?

What about taking him to the local police station and have him do some community service work for the day? I don't personally believe in suspending students, many times that is only accomplishing what the kid wanted to begin with. I think they should have some form of alternative punishment.

 

[daisyduck123]

So sorry to hear about all of this.
You do have one thing to look forward to that may cheer you up....I see you're going to Disney soon.

When I get disgusted/fed up with work issues I just think about my upcoming trip....it does help me.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

I'm sorry

teens can be so much fun

 

[christineann]

I feel badly for you and everything you have going on. I think that making deals with a kid to get him to go to school, though, just sends the message that going to school is negotiable. I've raised two kids by myself (now 20 and 18), and there are some things that I don't bargain with them about.

I hope you do well on your exam and that things will get better.

 

[L107ANGEL]

Teens are a PITA!! Sorry no nice words I can come up with!!
I admire anyone dealing with one that is being a PITA!!
I wish I could offer you some good advice. I have a 22yo, 18yo and 13yo. All girls! "They" promise me it will get better!

 

[tw1nsmom]

I would talk to the principal about in-school suspension. I would also talk to him about allowing your son to sit in the main office all day if they don't have in school suspension. Staying home for the day obviously is more of a punishment for you than him and isn't deterring him from misbehaving. They need to come up with a punishment that provides enough incentive for him to behave himself.

 

[Marseeya]

I feel badly for you and everything you have going on. I think that making deals with a kid to get him to go to school, though, just sends the message that going to school is negotiable. I've raised two kids by myself (now 20 and 18), and there are some things that I don't bargain with them about.

I hope you do well on your exam and that things will get better.

Well, going to school was not negotiable, but the deal was for him to quit nagging me. I made it very clear through the entire argument that I wasn't budging, but I did tell him I'd take him there if he'd just leave me alone.

 

[kdibattista]

I'm so sorry

 

[ducklite]

Why do you have to stay home with him?

What about taking him to the local police station and have him do some community service work for the day? I don't personally believe in suspending students, many times that is only accomplishing what the kid wanted to begin with. I think they should have some form of alternative punishment.

I agree--suspension is like a vacation day. My son got suspended a couple of times, fortunately we had a friend who worked at the Town Hall. We would drop him off there and they would put him to work--sorting food for the food pantry in the basement, cleaning supplies from the summer rec program, filing papers, cutting out 800 paper snowflakes to decorate the senior citizens center (now that one was a hoot! He didn't misbehave for MONTHS after having to deal with that LOLOL!! )

I'm sorry you are going through this Marseeya. I would definitely talk to the shrink about it and see if s/he's got any suggestions. It does get better, I promise!

Anne

 

[Marseeya]

Why do you have to stay home with him?

What about taking him to the local police station and have him do some community service work for the day? I don't personally believe in suspending students, many times that is only accomplishing what the kid wanted to begin with. I think they should have some form of alternative punishment.

I agree.

I think it's too last minute to go to the police station, although maybe it's an idea I can put into place for future reference! I like it!

 

[Marseeya]

I would talk to the principal about in-school suspension. I would also talk to him about allowing your son to sit in the main office all day if they don't have in school suspension. Staying home for the day obviously is more of a punishment for you than him and isn't deterring him from misbehaving. They need to come up with a punishment that provides enough incentive for him to behave himself.

They don't do ISS at the high school level. Yet they complain because of parents who go to work and leave their kids alone, or don't punish kids when they're suspended. They also don't do after-school or Saturday detentions, which I've been fighting for since he was in middle school. It's ridiculous.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Ohhhhhhhhh Marseeya, I am so sorry. You truly have the patience of a saint. I will be thinking of you tonight. Feel free to PM me if you need to just spout off some !@#$%!@#$%^ at someone

 

[Teacher03]

I just wanted to say good luck on your Praxis. I took it two years ago, and it is stressful..I also had three teen agers to deal with! I'm sure you'll do very well. I don't have any advice concerning your son, just wanted to give you a

 

[momrek06]

I am sending you AND some and hoping you and your family will get through this ordeal you are going through right now. Just when you think you can't take it anymore, the starts to shine and things get better. Keep your chin up! We are all here for you! Venting is ALWAYS good. All of us on DIS are all really really good listeners.

 

[daisyduck123]

They don't do ISS at the high school level. Yet they complain because of parents who go to work and leave their kids alone, or don't punish kids when they're suspended. They also don't do after-school or Saturday detentions, which I've been fighting for since he was in middle school. It's ridiculous.

This is usually due to lack of personnel....there has to be someone there to watch the kids.

We don't do ISS in my county either....we don't have "extra" staff on hand to sit with the kids in some room somewhere....also don't have any extra rooms.

After-school & Saturday detentions would require paying staff to sit there with the kids too.

 

[JennyMominRI]

Chiming in here with sympathy..I now have 2 teens and life is getting very scary

 

[MELSMICE]

So sorry you're going through this with your son. Is their a community center you could take him to tomorrow to do community work?