DS may have to go to summer school!

[pookybean]

Grrrr.....

we have a disney trip booked for 6/20-28 and by the looks of his last report card my 15 y/o DS may have to go to summer school.

if he does have to go to summer school he will stay with grandmom, will i be able to cancel him from our ressie and get that money back? the trip is already paid off....

please no flames, i already feel bad enough as it is....

thanks, megan

 

[Hannathy]

Don't know the answer to the money back but there is still some time left in school, any chance you could get him a tutor and possibly pull up the grades? I don't know his history as a student but if he has been doing OK in the past have you figured out what is causing this? Does he need a tutor or is it something else? Is he having "friend" problems or other social upsets? My DD's grades dropped for a semester and it turned out to be an emotional problems with girls being mean and semi bullying and excluding her plus saying nasty things on the computer to her. Supporting her thru it and some TLC got her back on track for the next sememster and she was OK.

So I would say make sure you know the real problem and get him help and explain the situation to him (especially the part that if he can't go and you loose money you are going to kill him!) Hopefully he will work with you and you can pull out the trip.

NO flames just good luck, it isn't easy.

 

[Brer Shay]

First, I agree with PP - If you can find a reason for the grade drop or some way to improve the last marking period, that's certainly the way to go.

As for the refund, if you made your reservations directly through Disney, you haven't hit your 45 day mark yet so you can definitely get a full refund on his portion. If your reservations are through someone else (offsite, Undercover Tourist, etc..), you'll need to check their policies.

 

[EKW]

If you bought trip insurance, it shouldn't matter who you purchased your trip thru. Otherwise, the information above stands.

Not flaming, but if I were you I would not rescue him by hiring a tutor now. This will be a painful but very important learning opportunity for him. Make sure you're very, very sad for him. Not upset, not frustrated...just sad. That way he can't shift the blame for his actions to you.

If, by some chance, he has learning disabilities and isn't the more typical "my hormones rule my life and I don't wanna get up or stay awake and pay attention" type of kid, ignore that.

If he is a typical teen, missing a Disney trip may be painful enough to encourage him to apply himself...avoiding even more painful consequences, like not getting into the college of his choice or not getting hired because of bad grades.

Hang in there, mom. Sometimes I think these learning opportunities are more painful for us than they are for the kids!

 

[MSSANDRA]

No flames but questions??

Is this typical for him?? Did he just goof off or did he work realy hard and just could not cut the class??? Did you know when you booked that he might strugle in the class and this could happen??

I know you feel terrible but depending on the REASON he is not doing well, consider how he feels too.

I agree that there is time that he might be able to catch up.

Does he WANT to go or stay home. Many 15 year olds would rather stay home and this would not be a motivation to do well, but family vacations are VERY important.

Good luck to him AND you!

 

[kellyg403]

No flames from me either OP. I also echo others that if this is something new or not himself then I would definitely be going to the school or finding out if there is a problem.

I have a son, 25 now...well his 9th grade year he felt that he could do whatever he wanted and get by with that. He never was stellar in school, it was a place to go because I made him. He never had the spark or interest or love of schooling, just a social experience for him. He had been tested for disabilities, he had tutors etc. Lets just say, he got the right teachers year after year. In 9th grade things changed. I will never, ever forget the look on his face when the report card (final) came in the mail and he had to stay in 9th grade or take summer school to stay with his graduating class. We had a vacation to my mom's house, I could only get certain days off as I have to put in my vacations in Jan etc. He stayed with a friend the week we went to my mom's. No choice. I couldn't punish the other kids by staying home, I couldn't take him with us or reschedule. The options were just not there. I felt so guilty and bad. But in the end...the best decision ever. Never again did he take things lightly, he graduated with his class and though, not in the top of his class, is a college graduate with a family of his own. He was not scarred for life. If anything, the event caused the reaction I had been looking for. He and his wife bought their first house last year and are expecting a second child.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

Kelly

 

[pweyl36]

If you bought trip insurance, it shouldn't matter who you purchased your trip thru. Otherwise, the information above stands.

Not flaming, but if I were you I would not rescue him by hiring a tutor now. This will be a painful but very important learning opportunity for him. Make sure you're very, very sad for him. Not upset, not frustrated...just sad. That way he can't shift the blame for his actions to you.

If, by some chance, he has learning disabilities and isn't the more typical "my hormones rule my life and I don't wanna get up or stay awake and pay attention" type of kid, ignore that.

If he is a typical teen, missing a Disney trip may be painful enough to encourage him to apply himself...avoiding even more painful consequences, like not getting into the college of his choice or not getting hired because of bad grades.

Hang in there, mom. Sometimes I think these learning opportunities are more painful for us than they are for the kids!

I agree, he's 15yr and learning disabilities would have surfaced by now. I wouldn'tfeel bad, he brought it on himself. I know the teachers warned him about his grades,and he did nothing about it,so now he suffers the conquences!

 

[jodim]

I would cancel him off now, and let them refund that portion of the trip to you. You can add him back on up to 2 weeks ahead of time without paying any additional, and up to 2 days ahead of time for an additional $15.00

Then if he needs to go to summer school you aren't out any money... and if he doesn't need to go, you can add him back on.

My ds (17) has drove me nuts with our trip, he's going, he's not going, he can't decide... I cancelled him off of ours and figured we will know within 2 days of leaving, and I can add him back on then if need be.

 

[PinkRhombus]

Grrrr.....

we have a disney trip booked for 6/20-28 and by the looks of his last report card my 15 y/o DS may have to go to summer school.

if he does have to go to summer school he will stay with grandmom, will i be able to cancel him from our ressie and get that money back? the trip is already paid off....

please no flames, i already feel bad enough as it is....

thanks, megan

No flames from me! Sounds like a great plan to me even if you couldn't get the refund (which you should be able to).

Now if you decide to throw some heat his way , I doubt anyone would complain. Make sure you send him some email postcards from Epcot.

 

[a1tinkfans]

well, I am for your son and your family.
All I read was his grades suffered and he "may" get summer school....
I really hope that he will be able to join his family for their family vacation. And yeah, I am one of those moms of a teen and though have we have no school grade issues, it breaks my heart to hear this situation...some of you guys responding are "meanies" But, thats just me....
Best of Luck to your son and our family!

 

[ancestry]

Just to offer an alternative perspective......

My 14 almost 15 year old son would be manipulative enough to purposefully fail a class to get out of going with us because he wanted to stay at home (even if it was with grandparents). If it was my son I would make him take a home study course over the summer (where I was the tutor) to make up the failed class and would still make him go to WDW for the family bonding time.

 

[pookybean]

thanks for everyones responses....

as for the trip itself, i called disney and took him off. it was easier to do that and add him back on if need be.

this is not something new, but it has never gotten to this level before. he is very smart (has been tested for everything) and when he was younger his report card was good but he never really had to do anything because he was so smart. the last couple of years though, that is just not cutting it anymore and he actually HAS to do the work, which he just does not want to do. he almost had to do summer school last year too and missed it by the skin of his teeth.

i have tried everything, and just nothing works. and at this point the teachers dont want to email me every week or do daily reports, he is 15! maybe this is the reality check he will need to smarten up, but it makes me feel like crap. i feel like i should be doing more but i dont know what else to do!!!

thank you all again for your resonses....and for being nice!

megan

 

[PelletierBears]

This happened with my son a couple years ago. I got the summer school schedule from the guidance office so was able to see the dates / locations of the sessions (there were 2 sessions offered - one late June, the 2nd immediately following, so early July).

We personally would never go on vacation without one of our kids but our situation is different since DS is on an IEP. We decided to push our trip out a few weeks to accomodate the summer school schedule.

It's may be something for you to concider if you and your DH can be a bit flexible with your dates. Going to Disney can be your DS's reward for passing summer school

Good luck!

 

[Ryansdad0727]

Can i go in his place?

 

[starsweeper]

thanks for everyones responses....

as for the trip itself, i called disney and took him off. it was easier to do that and add him back on if need be.

this is not something new, but it has never gotten to this level before. he is very smart (has been tested for everything) and when he was younger his report card was good but he never really had to do anything because he was so smart. the last couple of years though, that is just not cutting it anymore and he actually HAS to do the work, which he just does not want to do. he almost had to do summer school last year too and missed it by the skin of his teeth.

i have tried everything, and just nothing works. and at this point the teachers dont want to email me every week or do daily reports, he is 15! maybe this is the reality check he will need to smarten up, but it makes me feel like crap. i feel like i should be doing more but i dont know what else to do!!!

thank you all again for your resonses....and for being nice!

megan

Just wanted to say, I was a kid that coasted through K-12, then had a rude awakening when I went to college and actually had to study. It took me a couple years to pull it back together. I wouldn't get a tutor, but let your son pull up his grades himself or suffer summer school. When I taught middle school, I was surprised how many parents were afraid to see their kids fail on even 1 assignment. Sometimes we learn important life lessons from failure, and at least your son has time to grow up from this experience before work or college. Personally, I wouldn't cancel the trip just because your son may not be able to go. I'm sure he's known about the trip and has known what he will miss if he's in school.