DS-5 doesn't want to go to WDW??? what to do?

[supersuperwendy]

It's funny that so many think I'm letting him make ANY decision! The rest of us are so excited about the trip and talk about it constantly! We watch shows....go to disneyworld.com....OMG>>>we have all the sing along songs (beach party at disneyworld, disneyland fun). My son has grown up surrounded by disney. He doesn't like anything disney...i know that's hard for hardcore DISers like myself to accept. He's not into rides or characters. He has NEVER demanded that he wants to go to grammy's, but he's metioned it plenty of times. If any decision is made it will be by me...not him! Knowing how wonderful Disney World is...i would be heartbroken not to share it with him. It's still a few months away...perhaps he'll get more in the spirit once it gets closer. But to take my girls around the parks without their little brother dragging his feet...sounds kind of nice....FLAME AWAY!

 

[REBoehme]

Since you say he doesn't like Disneyrelated things try taking him to the LEGO Store at DTD or Star Tours at MGM.

 

[mouseketeer_mom]

It's funny that so many think I'm letting him make ANY decision! The rest of us are so excited about the trip and talk about it constantly! We watch shows....go to disneyworld.com....OMG>>>we have all the sing along songs (beach party at disneyworld, disneyland fun). My son has grown up surrounded by disney. He doesn't like anything disney...i know that's hard for hardcore DISers like myself to accept. He's not into rides or characters. He has NEVER demanded that he wants to go to grammy's, but he's metioned it plenty of times. If any decision is made it will be by me...not him! Knowing how wonderful Disney World is...i would be heartbroken not to share it with him. It's still a few months away...perhaps he'll get more in the spirit once it gets closer. But to take my girls around the parks without their little brother dragging his feet...sounds kind of nice....FLAME AWAY!

I understand what you are saying completely. Clearly, if he were making the decision, it would already be made and you wouldn't be here looking for insight. Secondly, you know your child best. If the rides, the characters, the shows, etc, hold no interest for him, you'd be spending a lot of money to place a strain on the rest of the family. Lastly, as the youngest and your only boy, you will have some special, one on one, time with him as he grows. It's perfectly reasonable to think that you may want to take the opportunity to have some time with your older two daughters that day to day life does not allow.

My only suggestion might be this; If themeparks are something unfamiliar to him, maybe plan a day trip to one close to home between now and your Disney trip. Take the entire family and see how it goes. He may come around. If he doesn't, I think some special time with Grammy is a wonderful thing that he will remember his whole life. Good Luck!

 

[noodleknitter]

Maybe you Disney freaks (said in a like minded way!) need to back off a bit. You may just be freaking the littley guy out. That may be too much intensity for his little psyche.

Also, try not to set him up as the "trouble" on the trip. If you go in with the attitude that he will be difficult, he will most definitely prove you right. That isn't fair to do to a little boy.

 

[tjmw2727]

Your most recent post got me thinking ~your son sounds alot like my nephew who happens to be 5. He is not into toys much instead he likes "real stuff" building with dad, playing music, cooking with mom and even cleaning the house. He takes his toys and modifies them to be something useful. He dosen't like much TV and doesn't like the Disney sing alongs either - much to his sisters dismay!

That said he does like Disney, which is a good thing because they live in FL and the rest of the family are big Disney fans.

So - the MK is ok with him, he likes Pirates right now so he likes POC and the Jumgle cruise as well as the cars to drive the buzz ride. His favorite park is Epcot with AK a close second. At Epcot he loves the innoventions pavilions esp the fire house and fire engines, the build a robat and of course Test Track. He likes the WS because he likes the live entertainment and the candy maker. At MGM he absolutely loves the motor car show, the power rangers car and the Star Tours ride.

If your other two children are girls perhps he is thinking its going to be all princesses and such. I would try and find lots of things he may be interested in and get excited about. Maybe your dh and he could sit down and figure out a few "guy" things they want to do. If he likes video games maybe a special dad and me day at DQ while you and the girls to a princess meal or BBB. If he were to choose any special outing at home what might that be - and do they offer something similar at WDW you could do?

It sounds to me like you just want to help your son get excited about the trip and I think that's great!

HTH
TJ

 

[Dina]

He's 5 and and he will probably change his mind 5,000 times between now and May. My almost 5 year old loves to try and control situations by saying what he will and won't do. Can you imagine having to live down for the rest of your life "remember when you went to WDW and left me home?!?!?!"

He is your child and you know him best but at this age my kids don't dictate to me what they will and won't do.

BTW, my DS#1 is terrified of the characters and has a wonderful time at WDW (he just stays aways from the characters.)

Yeah-- my son at 5 would have said one day that he didn't want to go, then two weeks later be excited about the trip. Try and find somet thing that he will enjoy and tell him about it.

My son's not really into rides or characters. When he says he doesn't want to go, I remind him about the cotton candy and lollipop twirlies and mickey bars-- that usually does it for him. He goes for the food.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

I think that you should think about leaving him. If this was a timid child who was having a knee jerk reaction to the idea of going I'd tell you to bring him along, but it seems like he does have a reasonable idea of what to expect and knows that it's just not his thing.

If you think he'd be happy at Grandma's I'd go for it. Otherwise, I'd make sure that the "family vacation" includes things for every member of the family, even if means taking a break from the parks to do things that are his speed -- whatever that is.

I also think that having 1:1 time with your other kids -- doing the things they really love could be a wonderful thing. Then next time you can plan a long weekend or family vacation to something that's perfect for your son, and either bring your girls or send them to Grandma's.

 

[HenDuck]

since it seems like you are going to take your DS (and I would too), I would recommend spending time with him at typical things that boys like and that aren't over-the-top Disney.

For Example:

Tom Sawyer island
Indy Speedway
The train
Dinosaur
Safari
etc.

Other posters may be right. He may be thinking Disney is all princesses. If he likes animals, Ak will be perfect for him. If he likes sea creatures, maybe a side trip to Sea World?

Just a couple of thoughts. I hope you all have a wonderful time.

 

[supersuperwendy]

Well we watched modern marvels the other night all about Disney World....it seems that his big issue is the haunted mansion and 3D movies. I told him he doesn't have to see either...in fact my dad will be with us and he loves the idea of having alone time with "his boy"! He plans on taking him around to other things while the rest of us experience things he's scared of. My youngest daughter is only 6 and they usully ride things together. They are more like twins than just siblings...I think she'd be lost without him. Looks like he's definitely going....we'll see how it plays out! Wish us luck!

 

[fan_of_small_world]

My DD4 was apprehensive about some things about WDW too before our trip, including Haunted Mansion. We assured her that she didn't have to ride anthing she didn't want to. Also, I bought the latest CD that has park music on it and it helped prepare her for many of the rides and attractions (I got that tip here on the Dis).

As for getting him excited, I found that the Birnbaum guide "For Kids, By Kids" was also great. DS and DD both had fun looking at the pics, and I read the narrative to them and could explain a lot of things ahead of time. And they both liked the Modern Marvels DVD you mentioned. Also check out the Travel Channel. Disney is featured on there fairly often.

It's hard for little ones to anticipate what it will be like since they have nothing to reference. But, it sounds like you know what his concerns are and can help him along his way! Have a great trip next year!

 

[noodleknitter]

Awesome! I'm so glad you got it figured out! Good job, mom!

 

[MrsPete]

My son is 5 and doesn't want to go with us to Disney World in May. It's going to be myself, hubby, 2 daughters ages 9 & 6 and him. He says he wants to go stay at my mother in laws house instead. What should I do? If he doesn't go...it's going to feel weird without him...but it will certainly be easier. suggestions please....thanks!

1. WHY doesn't he want to go? At that age my daughters occasionally got a foolish idea into their heads that a certain thing was bad, dangerous, whatever . . . and they tried to refuse to take part in something. My oldest was determined that she wasn't going to go to kindergarten because "they make you eat garbage". Huh? I have no idea where she got that, but she was very serious! She thought she'd be forced to eat garbage at school. On Open House night, I forced her to go -- kicking and screaming all the way. She met her teacher (what a saint she is!), and my daughter immediately fell in love with her. She was thrilled to see her name on the desk, etc. and she never mentioned garbage again.

If you can find out WHY he's so intent upon not going, you might discover some similar, foolish piece of misinformation that's giving him this negative idea.

2. If this isn't true, I think you need to take him anyway. YOU are the parent, and you know best. If he's allowed to run the family at age five, you'll be in for it later.

 

[MrsPete]

FWIW I don't think taking your childrens opinonions and feelings into consdieration when planning a vacation constitutes "letting them run the family". I think its respectful to consider their feelings and ideas and then give them proper weight when making family decisions.

Yes, children should have SOME input into vacations -- they learn to make decisions through practice. BUT the decision about whether to go on the trip is too much for a five-year old to decide. He should be allowed to watch the planning DVD and pick out rides he wants to ride, he should be allowed to pick out which shirts to take, he should be allowed to pick out a few toys from home to bring in his backpack. These are AGE-APPROPRIATE choices.

On the other hand, where to vacation, what hotel to choose, how long to stay, whether to drive or fly -- these are big decisions best left to adults, who have a greater grasp on the big picture.

 

[CampbellScot]

It may be that he's figured out that not wanting to go gets him all sorts of extra attention. It sounds like everyone is singing the praises of Disney and doing their best to convince him how much fun he'll have. The more he protests the more attention he receives. My step son is very contrary in that way. You say left he'll want to go right just to be contrary. His mom had this problem when she tried to take the kids to WDW. My step son continued to drag his feet and pout while they were at the parks. He got coddled along and "aren't you having fun?" and oh yes lets buy and extra toy for you..NOW are you having fun?! It was rediculous. He was acting very spoiled, was runing everyone elses time and didn't deserve any extra anything.

If I were you, I'd quit talking Disney up so much. You've told him he's going, he's going. If he wants to continue to have a bad attitude you can leave him with a baby sitter while you go to the parks with the ones who are excited and thankful to be there. Kids need to learn that the world does not revolve around them and pouting and being difficult will only land them consequences while everyone else has fun.

Just my opinion! Good luck!!!

 

[supersuperwendy]

Well we watched modern marvels the other night all about Disney World....it seems that his big issue is the haunted mansion and 3D movies. I told him he doesn't have to see either...in fact my dad will be with us and he loves the idea of having alone time with "his boy"! He plans on taking him around to other things while the rest of us experience things he's scared of. My youngest daughter is only 6 and they usully ride things together. They are more like twins than just siblings...I think she'd be lost without him. Looks like he's definitely going....we'll see how it plays out! Wish us luck!

He received some disney dollars from my aunt for xmas...that seemed to excite him. Once again today he asked if he'd have to go in the haunted mansion and i assured him he wouldn't have to. We have a small park here in PA called Knoebel's Grove...well they have one of the scariest haunted houses anywhere. Unknowingly I took him in there when he was 3...the worst mistake ever. I was used to the one at disney world..more cute than scary. The one at Knoebel's scared the S*** out of us. Knowing that he won't have to go in The Haunted Mansion has really helped. I think he thought it was something that had to be done! Have you ever seen the Disney Sing a long songs "halloween fun"? It's taped at the disneyland haunted mansion. It has all the villians walking around...yikes. No wonder he's so scared!

 

[lntsmom]

To be honest, if it's something I couldn't care less about (Sesame Street Live, Disney on Ice) I make the offer. If my kids want to do it, great. If not, no loss. I wouldn't ever make the offer when it comes to a major vacation.

That said, I had an odd experience with my oldest when I took him to WDW. He was almost 4 at the time. The first day there we met Buzz and Woody...he was thrilled. The next day we met Mickey, Donald, Pluto, and Goofy. We saw Jafar. He loved them all. The third day we went to the Crystal Pavilion. He bagan crying the moment we went in the door and didn't stop until we left. He clung to my shoulder the whole time.

Later that night I asked him what in the world his problem was. His response was, "Mom, don't you know that all the rest of them are just characters, but Pooh is REAL!" Rofl!!! Kids.

 

[Magalex]

Something similar happen to my DS when we went to WDW. His first trip was in April 2005(he was 4 1/2 yrs old). We had a wonderful trip. Well when we came back he said he doesn't want to go again to WDW. Of course as a Disney mom I was shocked because we loved our whole trip. I want to go every 2 yrs if possible. Well what I figured out is that we drove to WDW(it took 2 days from PA). We had no problems during the driving trip. But he just remember how long it took so the actually drive to WDW was what he didn't like. We are planning our June 2007 trip and we are flying. Also he wants to do attractions we didn't do because of his age at that time. He is ready for Space Mountain and the Dinosaur attraction at AK(age 6 closer to 7 in June). Yea be careful of 3D movies he was terrified of Philamagic but love the Muppets 3D. I still won't be pushing him towards some attractions. We are waiting to visit Universal when he is closer to 10/12 yrs old because of some darker attractions.

 

[JESW]

If your ds is afraid of Haunted Mansion then you may not want to bring him to the Tough To Be A Bug show at the Animal Kingdom. Not sure if you have seen it before, but it is in the dark and the bugs seem like they are all around. When dd7 was younger we brought her in and she spent the entire time of the show with her ears covered, eyes shut and hiding like so many other kids her age. In august she finally wanted to go back again and we noticed SO many young children afraid of this show. We had no idea...

Just a thought...

Jill

 

[supersuperwendy]

If your ds is afraid of Haunted Mansion then you may not want to bring him to the Tough To Be A Bug show at the Animal Kingdom. Not sure if you have seen it before, but it is in the dark and the bugs seem like they are all around. When dd7 was younger we brought her in and she spent the entire time of the show with her ears covered, eyes shut and hiding like so many other kids her age. In august she finally wanted to go back again and we noticed SO many young children afraid of this show. We had no idea...

Just a thought...

Jill

Thanks...no I never saw it. Our last trip was when my DD was only 20 months old and I didn't take her in. My parents enjoyed it and might take her back in this time now that she's 9, but my son has already asked not to see anything 3D. At six flags/NJ this past summer we saw the spongebob 3D movie and it scared him so bad. There was an evil patrick with a buzz saw hand..yikes! We're traveling with my parents and we've agreed to switch off taking him to more juvenile things as needed!

 

[karibritt01]

Both of my kids (DS 8 and DD 3) cried the entire way through Bug's Life... LOUDLY! We couldn't get them into a movie again for DAYS! They did enjoy Muppets at MGM and Philharmagic at MK, though.

My suggestions to you are to let him get involved in some of the planning. Maybe he can pick a character breakfast that he would enjoy. Maybe the pools are his thing, and he can plan some downtime for the family to enjoy the one at your hotel. We let my son help pick our resort - he picked CSR because it had the best pool slide, and that was important to him.

Push some of the 'less Disney-ish' things he can do, like the lego store, Innovations, Boneyard playground, the monorail (they will let you ride with the pilot if you ask them), etc.

My kids got Disney gift cards from Santa with $20 in their stocking this year. Between now and their trip, they can earn money by cleaning their room, helping out around the house, etc. Before our trip, we will go load their money to their gift cards for their spending money. They get really excited about going to DTD to buy their souvies.

Last, since your Dad is going with you, maybe you can split your family for girl time and guy time one AM. Use that time to do something totally girly that your girls pick, and let him help pick an activity for the guys to do. (Sea Raycers on the lagoon, fishing, etc.) If he knows he has a hand in the planning, he will feel more confident about going.

Good luck!