DS-5 doesn't want to go to WDW??? what to do?

[supersuperwendy]

My son is 5 and doesn't want to go with us to Disney World in May. It's going to be myself, hubby, 2 daughters ages 9 & 6 and him. He says he wants to go stay at my mother in laws house instead. What should I do? If he doesn't go...it's going to feel weird without him...but it will certainly be easier. suggestions please....thanks!

 

[kissy]

Wish I could give you some advice, I've never heard of a kid NOT wanting to go to the world! I guess if he wants to stay and MIL dosen't care then go ahead and go. Although, my girls will say that they don't want to go somewhere and would rather go to Gammys, however, once we get there they have a great time... (not to mention that when we go to the world, gammy always comes with us!)

 

[krismom]

Beware... I had a similar situation a year ago and some people on these boards accused me of letting my 3 year old control me! That being said, I am a firm believer in listening to my kids. My 3 year old was /is terrified of characters (he calls them "the Bigheads") and begged me not to take him to WDW. I knew he would be spoiled rotten at my mom's for the week and that was a bigger treat to him! It was weird not having the entire family together- but it also gave us quality time with our 3 older children (which never happens!) and it was a great trip! I know we will all go on our next trip together- and he will be ready!
Good Luck!

 

[irishbosoxfan]

He's 5--he shouldn't really have to much of a say in what he is going to do or not going to do---If you let him start that now you can forget about ever having even a little bit of control when he's 15!!

Tell him he's going,pack his stuff and put him on the plane---when he gets there he will forget he ever said he wanted to stay at grandmas.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

Has he ever been there? If not, how does he know he won't like it? I've heard that when parents tell their kids about a 1st trip and their kids aren't really excited, it's kind of a let down. I think it's only b/c kids don't know what to expect.
If he's been there before and really doesn't want to go again, there's no point dragging him there unhappy the whole time.

 

[InstImpres]

I too wonder like the other poster if you have been before. If not, I strongly suggest a planning DVD to watch. Also, Disney puts out a series of sing-a-long DVDs that are filmed in and around the parks, they would be fun to watch and give him a feel for the great things in store. If you think a postcard from Mickey and friends would be enticing, PM your address and all of the children's names so no one feels left out.

Another thought I have...is he looking for some time with Grandma, maybe if she agrees to an overnight just for him in the next few weeks that will help with that part of it.

Good luck and Happy travels
Sandy

 

[Whosemom]

If he hasn't been, in my book, he's going.

If he has been recently enough to remember, I'm of two minds...
1) He should go.

• They change so much year to year (kids, not disney) he might love it now even if he didn't before.
  They change so much year to year (disney, not kids) he might love it now even if he didn't before.
  Something totally icky about awesome family memories being shared in years to come with "oh yeah, you didn't go" following right after "best trip ever" comments.

2) He should go to grammas

• 4 people fit on rides better.
  You could save $1000!

 

[deedeetoo]

First of all I can't believe you're even considering allowing a 5 year old to make decisions about whether or not to go on the family vacation. Its a family vacation - he's coming. No discussion.

That said, why doesn't he want to go? Did someone tell him some scary stories? Did you do things last time that he didn't like? Did you not spend time doing the things he does like? Was it too rushed and stressful? Did he not like the fireworks, characters, dark rides?

Find out why he doesn't want to go. Try to plan your days so that he will enjoy himself. My 5 yo loves characters and doesn't care much for rides. We spend a whole morning each trip just chasing autographs and he is the happiest little boy that day. We also spend time every day at the pool. Its his vacation too.

 

[MSSANDRA]

He's 5--he shouldn't really have to much of a say in what he is going to do or not going to do---If you let him start that now you can forget about ever having even a little bit of control when he's 15!!

Tell him he's going,pack his stuff and put him on the plane---when he gets there he will forget he ever said he wanted to stay at grandmas.

Exactly what she said!!!!!

 

[DawnMarie]

He should go, its a family vacation. Their is no way I let would either of my children out of a family trip must less a 5 yr. old. He does not have the ability to decide at that age whats best for him in most circumstances. We teach our boys when it comes to family everyone will have to make sacrifice's at some point or another. You'd be surprised at the times when we insisted my boys participate in something and afterwards they admitted they had a great time.

 

[tjmw2727]

I would try and find out more about why he dosen't want to go - or perhaps you have and just didn't want a Loong post! He could be afraid to fly/drive afraid he may have to ride something he dosen't want to or maybe he dosen't like the fireworks. If that is the case hopefully you can assure him he can visit WDW and not do anything he finds scary.

My dd once cried when we told her we were going on a trip to see her favorite cousins because she thought she would have to lave her favorite suffed animal at home.

OTOH maybe he is afraid he will miss somebody or something at home during that time. Like a pp said they change so much at this age by the time the trip comes he may be very excited.

Personally I would plan on having him go on the trip and work on why he is wanting to stay home. He may even have realized not wanting to go as a way to get you going !! Closer to the trip you can decide for sure what works best for everyone.

FWIW I don't think taking your childrens opinonions and feelings into consdieration when planning a vacation constitutes "letting them run the family". I think its respectful to consider their feelings and ideas and then give them proper weight when making family decisions.

Good luck
TJ

 

[noodleknitter]

Decisions for a 5 year old include what shirt to wear, what friend to spend the day with or whether he wants eggs, cereal or french toast for breakfast. Not whether he is going on a family vacation. No small person needs that kind of power on his shoulders. That is what moms and dads are for.

That said, I bet he is scared of something. Spend some time listening to him, and try to figure out what. And deal with it rationally.

 

[golden1]

If he has been before and didn't like it, I might consider leaving him home. If he has never been, I'd take him. First I'd ask him why he doesn't want to go and assure him that you won't make him go on rides he doesn't want to go on. He'll probably end up having a great time!

 

[supersuperwendy]

Thank you everyone for your input. I want to have the best family vacation ever...I've been planning it for a long time! I have the newest travel DVD...we watched the recent Xmas @ disney on the travel channel...I have the walt disney world explorer on my computer...! My girls are so excited about the trip. I just cannot understand why he keeps saying he doesn't want to go. My husband and I had a talk about it shortly after I posted my thread. We have decided he is going to go regardless of how much he protests. It may be many years before we get to go again and I want him to experience it as a child. Thanks everyone...

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND GOOD LUCK IN THE NEW YEAR!

 

[HayGan]

He's 5 and and he will probably change his mind 5,000 times between now and May. My almost 5 year old loves to try and control situations by saying what he will and won't do. Can you imagine having to live down for the rest of your life "remember when you went to WDW and left me home?!?!?!"

He is your child and you know him best but at this age my kids don't dictate to me what they will and won't do.

BTW, my DS#1 is terrified of the characters and has a wonderful time at WDW (he just stays aways from the characters.)

 

[makinorlando]

Granted a five year old probably should not be making decisions, but as some others have said, the OP really needs to understand why - after all Disney can be and is an overwhelming experience for adults, can you imagine being a child who for some reason has issues being forced to go. The crowds, the characters, fear of flying, etc.

I have a great nephew who was so TERRIFIED of characters (any characters - Chuck E Cheese, etc) that when he was promised a trip to WDW by his grandmother when he was potty trained - this was when he was three-ish - he reverted back to not using the toilet for over a year until my nephew and his wife realized - with the help of a therapist - that the whole issue revolved around not wanting to go to Disney because of the characters. I know this is extreme, but to him just the thought of it was terrifying. While many of us think being able to go to Disney is the best thing in the world, it just might not be for the OPs little guy!

 

[daisyduck123]

Well, he's got to go! He's 5yo for crying out loud & he should go where the family goes. I'm glad you've made a decision. I'm guessing that he's never been there before or else you wouldn't be having this problem (any child who's been, always wants to go back).

He will have a great time!!

**We'll be there in May also, for about 9 days. I bet I'll run into you guys & see your DS having the time of his life!!! Where are you staying??

 

[Starr W.]

My 5 year old can't decide what to eat when we go out half the time, so I sure wouldn't listen to him on vacation plans.

 

[KarlaG4Kids]

If there is a truly valid reason that DS would be very unhappy at WDW then you may want to leave him with grandma. If he has never been and doesn't know what is coming then you should take him and just give him as much information about what he will be doing, seeing and how much fun it will be. We took DGS in September (he was nearly 4) and he DIDN'T like it. He was afraid of every ride. He liked a couple of things (fireworks and characters) but it just wasn't his thing. (Funny...it isn't his mother's thing either.) So, he won't be going back with us any time soon....he made the trip difficult for us and even now he says he doesn't want to go back....I'm not going to force the issue. It isn't so much that we will let him rule our trips...but why should we pay quite a bit to make him unhappy and consequently cause grief for the rest of us. If he has never been before then take him and I sure hope he loves it as much as most kids do. Have a great time!

 

[Whosemom]

(any child who's been, always wants to go back)

Not true. My 11yo did not want to go this past summer. We went with dance, so they picked the days, so we missed a trip to the Lake Erie area that we take every year and go to the same silly little tourist traps every year. Given the choice this coming summer she insists she prefers Lakeside to Disney. We were pulling her leg that we were going back at the same time. She was upset.