Dream come true *opinions needed*

[ibdamamma]

Ok, I am not sure how to word this so bear with me.

My daughter (5) was diagnosed with Melanoma in May of this year. She has had 2 surgeries already and is having another tomorrow. She starts her treatment on Monday. Our community has been spectaular with everything that they have done for us. Now, my mother works for a huge construction company who is very very active within charity networks. One of them is Dream come true foundation. Her boss had approached her about getting my daughter a "wish" and she said about a disney trip. My mother explained that we had the trip planned for August before she was even diagnosed. She offered to donate/pay for our trip on behalf of the construction company. They have also expressed that they want to do a raffle of goods and services with all proceeds going to my daughters care. They want our approval before doing anything but I honestly don't know what to do. I am so humbled by all of the support but I don't know how to handle this in a graceful manner. Me and my husband spoke about it but he is just as confused what to do. My daughter is not terminally ill and I feel that it would be wrong for us to accept that kind of charity. Am i wrong? What are your thoughts.

 

[Finally08]

I don't think it's wrong at all! People want to give to make her dreams come true, even if you could have afforded it on your own - that doesn't matter. They still want to help.
And terminal or not, cancer is a scary thing, and the treatments and surgeries are very hard on her, and your family. She deserves some special princess treatment!

My dh has dealt with cancer for years, and going through it with him made me realize how hard cancer is on everyone. There are no "wish" foundations for adults, even though children of sick parents have to deal and cope with a lot too. I think it would have been a wonderful thing though had someone offered to do that for us.

 

[Maggie'sMom]

I don't think it would be wrong to accept the donations either. Your DD is going through treatments that no child should have to endure. The 'wish' trip is about providing something fun for her to make up for what she's experiencing.

I am friends with a couple who's daughter was diagnosed with a really horrendous form of bone cancer. She was given a 20% chance of living. She's been done with treatments for 3 years now and there is no sign of the cancer. She was given a 'special wish' trip to Hawaii with her family. It was about a year after her treatments were over. It was a special time for them to celebrate her life.

 

[Ashley Kees]

Cancer is horrrible and painful, and cancer treatment is horrible and painful, even for adults. For children, it is almost unbearable, and the parents feel it, too. Your mother's company just wants to do something to balance that pain, give ya'll something to look forward to, something good to look back on when you think about this time in your lives. It is not at all wrong to accept, and you should accept, with a heartfelt thank you, and maybe a nice picture of DD with Mickey Mouse. If it makes you feel better to tell them that she isn't terminal, do so, but no one will think you are "cheating". You are a kind soul for thinking so deeply about this, but please, go ahead and take the gift. It will do you all good. Andd God bless you all, your baby is in my prayers.

 

[Momma2dakidz]

That is so very nice, take it graciously and thank them profusely. We never know what the future holds enjoy every second you can. Like a previous poster said cancer sucks no matter what! My best friend didnt think his wifes melanoma was terminal, unfortunately he is raising his children alone.

 

[buckler]

I read your blog and you've been through a lot. Graciously accept the offers of assistance. It's not "charity", it's a showing of kindness, generosity and love. This isn't just something the company is doing for your child, it's also a sign of how much they think of your mother. It will make your mom feel good to know how much her company cares about her family.

 

[monty]

I would guess that the Dream come True programme provided by your mother's employer doesn't only create dreams for people with terminal illnesses.
It is wonderful that there are companies like this around, with caring people who work for them. Accept their kind offers....you are already being very gracious and humble.
I wish you all the best for your daughter's recovery and I hope your trip can go someway in easing all the heartache your family is enduring.

 

[MandM-Mom]

While we did not get a wish trip we have had organizations do charity causes for my daughters medical costs. Me and DH are both members of a fire dept where we do charity dinner dance auctions to help people and last year during a time when my youngest was a frequent flyer of our local PICU our department came to us with a there idea of a dinner/dance to benefit our princess, at first we said NO WAY! Our department came back to us about 1 month later a few days after we left the hospital again and was insistant. I just felt strange about it, but they wanted to help and we had both missed so much work, and for me that = no pay. If you can come to terms with it let them do it, they are very kind, but it was so wonderful of our community. Also when I sit on a committee that does this type of work I really enjoy it, its a wonderful thing to be able to do for a family, it gives you a real sense of community!

 

[LuckyMamaInDE]

I'll add your dd to my prayer list

I agree with all the previous posters--it's not charity, it's showing how much they care for your mother and by extension, your daughter and your family.

 

[clownchk]

Another thought:

Why would you want to take away the happiness these people are trying to give you? Not only your DD's happiness, but theirs as well. They sound like a wonderful group of people to be associated with and they want to give you this wonderful gift.

How would YOU feel if you tried to give someone, ANYONE a gift and it was refused?

If you still feel funny about it, then after the trip, make a donation back to them (Either financially or with your time or talents)so that they can spread the dreams to others!!!

Many prayers to you and your family!

 

[Wendy5055]

Awwwww...I hope your daughter's recovery is speedy and uneventful.

How wonderful it is to be able to give a child such a wonderful gift. My niece received a "Wish" from the Make A Wish Foundation for children. She is a heart transplant patient/recipient. She has yet to be able to use her wish due to her transplant and ongoing illness.

I truly believe that it is tremendously difficult to fathom the kindness and caring of other individuals who donate time, effort, and money (especially in today's economy). Your daughter is special and there are quite obviously many people who care about her and her family.

Your Daughter & Your Family deserve it!!!

 

[ibdamamma]

Thank you all for you imput. It is a huge blessing to us all to have such a wonderful community that cares. I have the paperwork to fill out so I will get that done today. Mia is so excited that she gets to go to Disney this year. I will keep you all posted. Thank you for your prayers

 

[Schmeck]

As a melanoma survivor, my heart goes out to your daughter and the rest of your family - positive vibes and white light headed towards her! She'll be in my thoughts and prayers!

Now, for your Disney trip - August is going to be hot and humid, but if you plan to go to the parks early, take a break during the midafternoon, and then go back to the parks later on, it's do-able, even for those who need to avoid the sun. Her treatments might make her very worn out, so you could get a GAC to use a stroller as a wheelchair in lines. If you have any other qusetions, feel free to PM me. I've done WDW twice after my diagnosis, and there are a lot of tricks that I've learned to make the trips safe for me.

 

[ibdamamma]

Well I had a weird call yesterday. It was coordinator for dream come true. She asked about our plans for disney etc. I told her that we planned to stay at Pop Century and she was confused as to what it was. I explained that it was a value resort and that we stayed there last time and loved it. She asked if we would like to stay at AKL or CBR. I said oh that would be fabulous but I couldn't see spending so much on a room because we would never be there. So she was like this "This is odd" I chuckled and she said most people request the more expensive packages when doing a wish. I explained that we are budget concious people and also didn't want to "take advantage" of the situation. she was absolutely dumbfounded. I am blessed to know there are foundations out there that do these types of things. Last thing I would want for them is to use funds so I can stay in a swank hotel. I ultimately gave her the clearance to do what she felt was nessecary. so we shall see.

 

[Wendybird55]

First of all, I want to wish your daughter and family all the best and pray that all goes well for her.

No one likes to hear of a child having to face such an illness and I think when others hear of such things, we stop a moment and realize how lucky we are to have what we have.

I know it can be difficult to accept "gifts" such as what is offered you and your family, but we all need help and we all need to help others. It's one of the beautiful aspects of being human. Plus, I'm sure your mom's company feels good that they can help a family member of one of their employees.

And from eveything you've written on this thread, you strike me as a caring and giving person yourself. So I'm sure down the road when things are better for your family and you see someone else in need, you will help them out.
That's what's so great about it.

Please let us know what your "wish" plans end up being.
All the best for your daugther's recent surgery and have a GREAT time in Disney.

 

[_queenie_]

God bless your daughter, she's in my prayers.

 

[ibdamamma]

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and prayers. She made it through the first week of treatment holding up very well. I am a little scared because she did get sunburned today (after using lotions and cover ups) and she was only in the sun maybe 15-20 minutes. I am scared if she burned this fast how will it be when we go to disney?

 

[buckler]

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and prayers. She made it through the first week of treatment holding up very well. I am a little scared because she did get sunburned today (after using lotions and cover ups) and she was only in the sun maybe 15-20 minutes. I am scared if she burned this fast how will it be when we go to disney?

I'm glad to hear she made it through the first week well. You definitely should talk to her doctor concerning exposure to the sun. I'm assuming from what you wrote that the treatment is making her more vulnerable to sun exposure. Ask the doctor about what precautions you need to take. Also, ask how soon after treatment is done will her ability to handle sun exposure return to normal. What does the doctor think about the Disney trip?

Another thing to keep in mind is sunblock needs to be applied 30 minutes before sun exposure. It doesn't work right away after it's applied.

 

[mickeymouse1017]

God bless your DD and your family. I will keep you in my prayers. You really need to accept this act of kindness. It will be a treat for your entire family that is going to go through this together. I am so impressed that you are continuing to try to be economical. It speaks highly of your character. Good things happen to good people.

 

[Schmeck]

You can buy a physical sunscreen, that works immediately on application - Neutrogena (sp?) sells one, for people with sensitive skin.