Doubts about officiant

[Tiggerific04]

If you don't mind my asking...who else did you contact?

Recently there have been several threads recommending officiants and maybe if the three you contacted aren't available, others can be suggested for you.

I actually contacted everyone else on Disney's list in the Wish Book, except for the Rabbi. So far I've heard back from Pastor Kirk Bane and Rev Miller who are both available. Rev Miller seems very nice, but he's a little expensive. I'm going to try to get in touch with everyone else today hopefully!

Hi Erin-
Lots of s to you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this so close to your wedding. I'm sure the last thing you need right now is a rude officiant . I really hope you can find someone else in time to perform your ceremony. Sending some pixie dust your way! Good luck!

Thanks! I really thought I might have been overreacting or going a bit "bridezilla," but I feel a lot better knowing so many of you also feel it was out of line.

Erin,
I'm soooooooooo sorry that you are having this trouble. How rude! I can't imagine anyone who calls themselves a minister of any kind would "talk" to someone like that.

Sending you lots of so you can get this worked out. I hope you can find someone else on such short notice. Keep us updated so we can keep you in our prayers!

Thank you! I'm feeling positive because it looks like there are other options... I hope to get this all sorted out this afternoon and I will definitely let you know what happens!

I'm sorry, that response was definitely uncalled for.

We've been dealing with Rev. Keving Knox. He's been responsive so far, but I've mostly dealt with his wife who is very nice. He is flexible with ceremonies and give you a 30 page document with choices from no mention of faith to mainly faith based ceremonies.

Keep us updated.

I had looked into him originally, but he wasn't available for my date. Maybe I'll contact him anyway just in case he had a cancellation.

Let me just say that if you want your ceremony a particular way then you will want to find another officiant. I've read a ton of comments that said "the ceremony was nice, but he didn't do anything we asked".
I asked for very specific things that were not done by Rev. Tim and it was upsetting to me. We were told in the beginning that he would have a call with both of us about 2 weeks from the wedding to discuss the ceremony and what we wanted. That never happened and he would not allow us to see even a sample ceremony prior to our wedding. The communication was horrible. After many many attempts at email (I got yes, yes, yes to my questions as well) and phone calls I finally reached him on the phone he told me that he writes every ceremony different for each couple and if we see it, it will ruin the romance. Well I was upset about all of this but didn't make a huge deal about it. Saturday I turned on my TV and guess who's doing the EXACT same ceremony on a wedding show for someone else. It's a good thing I didn't find that ceremony to be all that special.
After the wedding DH and I both said we couldn't wait for it to be over because it made no sense and didn't fit us at all. Rev Tim made several "jokes" that were geared toward old fashioned relationships which ours is not.
Sorry for the rant... as time goes on I think we actually get more upset about it. DH says he thinks now he should get his notary and start performing weddings at Disney. I think it's a great idea because he's got a great memory and would actually do what people want!!!

See, that's what I'm worried about: we want as close to a Catholic ceremony as we can get, and I'm afraid from his lack of responses that he doesn't "get" how important it is to us. I remember your TR and someone else's where it was mentioned that he didn't do what the couple had asked for, but I guess I blew it off because I had read so many other good things about him. The ceremony is the most important part of the whole day, and I know I'd be crushed if it didn't go according to plan. I'm sorry he didn't do what you had asked for, and thank you for reminding me about it -- now I know for sure I am making the right decision by choosing someone else

 

[Tiggerific04]

Erin who is still available, maybe you can get some more recommendations for them?

So far:

Pastor Kirk Bane
Rev. Randal Miller

Rev. Miller called me and he seems really nice and understanding of the last-minute change. He is willing to forget about the deposit and just let us pay everything the day of the wedding, but he is much more expensive than anyone else. However, we're not really able to be picky at this point, so I told him I would talk to DF and give him a call back this afternoon with an answer.

I'm waiting to hear back from Dr. Tino Ballesteros, who I had wanted to use originally, but DF overrode my decision and chose Rev. Tim instead

 

[j_lehr]

Oh how awful for you. I definitely don't think you are being a "bridezilla". I am also catholic and am having a catholic ceremony at home (I really wanted to be married by our preist...I didn't think I could talk him into coming to Disney!). The ceremony is something you are going to remember forever and it should be exactly how you picture it!

I feel really bad for you though, because in the last few days before your wedding you shouldn't have to worry about this kind of stuff. I know how you feel cause my matron of honor just dropped out of my wedding and now we are scrambling to work things out. I hope everything works out for you and that you have a wonderful wedding.

Jes

 

[Tiggerific04]

I am so sorry to hear this. Best of luck finding a new officiant! Glad to hear there are some available to choose from. Sending major pixie dust your way!

Thank you!!

Oh how awful for you. I definitely don't think you are being a "bridezilla". I am also catholic and am having a catholic ceremony at home (I really wanted to be married by our preist...I didn't think I could talk him into coming to Disney!). The ceremony is something you are going to remember forever and it should be exactly how you picture it!

I feel really bad for you though, because in the last few days before your wedding you shouldn't have to worry about this kind of stuff. I know how you feel cause my matron of honor just dropped out of my wedding and now we are scrambling to work things out. I hope everything works out for you and that you have a wonderful wedding.

Jes

I'm so sorry about your matron of honor. There was a point when I didn't think my maid of honor was going to be able to make it and I was devastated, so I can only imagine how you must be feeling I'm sure everything will work out just fine for both of us

 

[jodeeluvsdisney]

Let me just say that if you want your ceremony a particular way then you will want to find another officiant. I've read a ton of comments that said "the ceremony was nice, but he didn't do anything we asked".
I asked for very specific things that were not done by Rev. Tim and it was upsetting to me. We were told in the beginning that he would have a call with both of us about 2 weeks from the wedding to discuss the ceremony and what we wanted. That never happened and he would not allow us to see even a sample ceremony prior to our wedding. The communication was horrible. After many many attempts at email (I got yes, yes, yes to my questions as well) and phone calls I finally reached him on the phone he told me that he writes every ceremony different for each couple and if we see it, it will ruin the romance. Well I was upset about all of this but didn't make a huge deal about it. Saturday I turned on my TV and guess who's doing the EXACT same ceremony on a wedding show for someone else. It's a good thing I didn't find that ceremony to be all that special.
After the wedding DH and I both said we couldn't wait for it to be over because it made no sense and didn't fit us at all. Rev Tim made several "jokes" that were geared toward old fashioned relationships which ours is not.
Sorry for the rant... as time goes on I think we actually get more upset about it. DH says he thinks now he should get his notary and start performing weddings at Disney. I think it's a great idea because he's got a great memory and would actually do what people want!!!

Oh, Amber I wish your hubby could officiate our wedding next year! His personality would totally fit us better than most of the pool we have to choose from...we would hire him in a minute!!! Keep talking to him about it, we haven't booked anyone yet...

 

[mcarthur205]

Me too! Me too! Me too! He sounds perfect for us too! We want to have something quite informal for our VR in 2009, we're not religious at all so we would want a notary anyway and past experience of how things should NOT be done means he would be sure to listen to us.

That's two potential bookings already!

CarolAnn.

 

[Tiggerific04]

Ok, I've spoken to pretty much everyone on Disney's list and I've narrowed it down to these two officiants (opinions please!!)

Rev. Randal Miller: www.uniquelyunited.com
--DF likes him because he married some famous basketball player
--He was very nice on the phone and was very reassuring that everything would work out.
--He said it's not an issue to do the Catholic ceremony as long as we give him our readings.
--He is the most expensive.

Rev. Siegfriend Jaeger: www.weddingstoremember.net
--He was also very nice, both in email and on the phone.
--I spoke to his wife first and she was very pleasant.
--He says he does the Catholic wedding outside of mass frequently.
--He is less expensive.
--When I was talking to him, he asked me if the officiant I was previously working with was Rev. Tim and I said yes. He said, "Mmm... I thought so, yes." I don't know if that's bad, but it didn't sound good. I didn't want to ask what he meant so I just let it go.

I know Summer is all about Rev. Miller , but does anyone have any reviews of Rev. Jaeger? I did a search and came up with nothing.

 

[Skylarr29]

Sorry, I have never heard of either of those...

 

[hmgolden]

I haven't heard much about either of them, but it seems just from your conversations with them that you are much more comfortable with them then with your current officiant. I think either of them would work out fine. I'm glad to see you have found some options, good luck!

 

[DisBride2007]

I don't know anything about either of them, but I don't think price should be one of your main considerations, I mean unless it's like $1000 versus $100, it's probably one of the least expensive wedding related costs! GL with this decision... I know you made the right decision to FIRE the first one!

BTW, I also had a problem with someone who was integral to the wedding day... and had a chance to get rid of them and didn't... and I regretted that decision because it gave me another thing to be annoyed about on that day...

 

[Summer-Caitlin]

Erin, just posting to see whether you have managed to get another officiant sorted out yet? I really hope you end up with someone you are happy with. Please keep us updated!

 

[tmli]

I hope all works out fo ryou and you find a new officiant. I am really getting nervous as we have Rev. Tim marrying us in 2 weeks. I have been back and forth about my decision as I read everyones reviews. He has been brief in his responses but not as outright rude as he was with you. I am really not sure what I should do at this point....as you said the ceremony is the most important part of the day, if he ruins it we can't get it back!

 

[Tiggerific04]

I hope all works out fo ryou and you find a new officiant. I am really getting nervous as we have Rev. Tim marrying us in 2 weeks. I have been back and forth about my decision as I read everyones reviews. He has been brief in his responses but not as outright rude as he was with you. I am really not sure what I should do at this point....as you said the ceremony is the most important part of the day, if he ruins it we can't get it back!

I was back and forth about him, too, but that last email was the final straw. I knew then that I had to find someone new as I wasn't comfortable with him and I wasn't willing to risk my wedding ceremony. Good luck with your decision!

I don't know anything about either of them, but I don't think price should be one of your main considerations, I mean unless it's like $1000 versus $100, it's probably one of the least expensive wedding related costs! GL with this decision... I know you made the right decision to FIRE the first one!

BTW, I also had a problem with someone who was integral to the wedding day... and had a chance to get rid of them and didn't... and I regretted that decision because it gave me another thing to be annoyed about on that day...

Unfortunately we're on a really tight budget and one of the officiants is double the cost of the other. I'm having trouble justifying paying that much extra when the end result is going to be the same: we'll be married I feel comfortable with both of them and they were both equally nice, so I am going to send my ceremony to the more "cost efficient" one and see if he is agreeable to it.

Erin, just posting to see whether you have managed to get another officiant sorted out yet? I really hope you end up with someone you are happy with. Please keep us updated!

I'm typing my entire ceremony right now so that I can send it off to our first choice and see if he is ok with it. If he is, then we will use him. If not, then we'll try officiant #2. I don't think it will be an issue, although who knows at this point

 

[BaBeeCee14]

I'm glad that you were able to find 2 other officiants available on your wedding day. I think you made the right decision to find someone else because the way Rev. Tim treated you (and what seems like many other brides) was uncalled for. Keep us updated on who you decide to choose

 

[hfehr1s]

I am soo sorry you had these problems so close to your wedding day.. and unfortunately I can completely relate. I too had Rev. Tim booked for our wedding and about 2 weeks before the wedding I started emailing him about the ceremony and he would reply with extremely rude comments about how he was the officiant and blah blah blah blah.... he was just not friendly. Basically the same experience you had with him... So fortunately Rev. Jack was available the day of our wedding and we were able to switch and it was the best decision I could have made.. I would have been worried sick that Rev. Tim would have let our disagreements effect his performance on our wedding day.... and I just didn't want or need that added stress. So.. Rev. Jack was a wonderful choice !!!

I hope one of your other alternatives is able to help you out...

By the way, when I cancelled with Rev. Tim, he never apolgized or even asked why not to mention gave me any money back, which was fine... I was just glad to be done with him!! Good Luck!!!

 

[Tiggerific04]

I am soo sorry you had these problems so close to your wedding day.. and unfortunately I can completely relate. I too had Rev. Tim booked for our wedding and about 2 weeks before the wedding I started emailing him about the ceremony and he would reply with extremely rude comments about how he was the officiant and blah blah blah blah.... he was just not friendly. Basically the same experience you had with him... So fortunately Rev. Jack was available the day of our wedding and we were able to switch and it was the best decision I could have made.. I would have been worried sick that Rev. Tim would have let our disagreements effect his performance on our wedding day.... and I just didn't want or need that added stress. So.. Rev. Jack was a wonderful choice !!!

I hope one of your other alternatives is able to help you out...

By the way, when I cancelled with Rev. Tim, he never apolgized or even asked why not to mention gave me any money back, which was fine... I was just glad to be done with him!! Good Luck!!!

I'm sorry you had such a horrible experience! Did you mention to your coordinator why you were switching officiants? I can't believe that Disney still recommends him after so many brides have had issues with him. I'm not a confrontational person at all, but I do plan on telling Rev. Tim why I will no longer be needing his services just so he is aware. I doubt it will change anything, but it will make me feel better

 

[Ember]

I used Rev. Miller and he was good. Not great, just good. When I first started looking for officiants the only thing I asked was if it was okay for us to write our own ceremony. He was one of the only ones who called to say that he would do it, so we went with him. As we got closer he e-mailed his ceremony to us and we didn't like it at all so I e-mailed him back the ceremony we had written. He did not seem pleased but he went along with it.

On the day of the rehearsal he was a little bossy, but nice. But then he kept going on and on and on about how if Steven was nervous, or feeling like he didn't want to go through with it that he could call Rev. Miller day or night. Steven actually got annoyed at one point and told him that after 10 years he's pretty sure he wants to marry me!

Anyway, on the wedding day, Rev. Miller did okay. He stumbled over bits of the ceremony and mis-pronounced a few words (like he was only just reading this for the first time). But all in all, everything worked out okay.

 

[Tiggerific04]

I used Rev. Miller and he was good. Not great, just good. When I first started looking for officiants the only thing I asked was if it was okay for us to write our own ceremony. He was one of the only ones who called to say that he would do it, so we went with him. As we got closer he e-mailed his ceremony to us and we didn't like it at all so I e-mailed him back the ceremony we had written. He did not seem pleased but he went along with it.

On the day of the rehearsal he was a little bossy, but nice. But then he kept going on and on and on about how if Steven was nervous, or feeling like he didn't want to go through with it that he could call Rev. Miller day or night. Steven actually got annoyed at one point and told him that after 10 years he's pretty sure he wants to marry me!

Anyway, on the wedding day, Rev. Miller did okay. He stumbled over bits of the ceremony and mis-pronounced a few words (like he was only just reading this for the first time). But all in all, everything worked out okay.

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I'm glad everything worked out ok!

DF and I have decided on Pastor Siegfried Jaeger. I don't think anyone on this board has used him, and the woman filling in for my coordinator has never done a wedding with him before, but I've spoken to him on the phone twice and he seemed very nice and genuine. I have sent him a copy of our ceremony, so I'm waiting for him to get back to me and then we'll be all set.

When I spoke to my interim coordinator, I told her why I was switching officiants and she said that she doesn't care for my original choice either. She didn't elaborate, but it didn't sound good.

I just got another email from the original officiant and it was much, much more polite but I still wrote back and told him we will no longer be needing his services. He tried to tell me that he was just concerned about the vows because he didn't know how "strict" our church is. Well, our church won't recognize the marriage anyway, so it doesn't really matter! We still have to go through pre-cana and have a Catholic Church wedding at some point later this year.

 

[hfehr1s]

I am so glad you were able to find someone you feel comfortable with.. that is the most important thing.

I did email Rev. Tim as well and let him know that the reason we would not be using him for the service was because I just didn't feel like we were seeing eye to eye on how the service was going to go and I didn't feel like he was being very understanding or offering any constructive suggestions... he replied with a generic... wish you all the best reply.. and never responded to any of my questions.. LOL... oh well it worked out for the best for me and I am sure it will for you as well!!

 

[Tiggerific04]

I am so glad you were able to find someone you feel comfortable with.. that is the most important thing.

I did email Rev. Tim as well and let him know that the reason we would not be using him for the service was because I just didn't feel like we were seeing eye to eye on how the service was going to go and I didn't feel like he was being very understanding or offering any constructive suggestions... he replied with a generic... wish you all the best reply.. and never responded to any of my questions.. LOL... oh well it worked out for the best for me and I am sure it will for you as well!!

I just got the same reply from him!