Don't be afraid to be your own health advocate

[FlightlessDuck]

Now I know there is a fine line between standing up for yourself and having an unhealthy obsession with diagnosing yourself through WebMD, but I have a story.

I had cataract surgery in 2013. I had early-onset cataracts due to eye trauma as a child. So at 36, I had to have cataract surgery. My eyesight afterward was fantastic. I used to basically not be able to function without glasses, and after the surgery, I could see amazingly (except I needed readers for up-close reading). It was life-changing. During that surgery, my surgeon mentioned probably needing a laser treatment to get rid of secondary cataracts that could develop later.

Fast forward 9 years and my vision insurance has changed three times. I was going to one of those "we sell glasses and have a doctor" type stores (Lenscrafters, etc) just so I could have reading glasses, and they never really notice anything weird. Somewhere along the line, my vision started getting worse. Finally, I decided to see a "real" optometrist. We went through my whole history, she noticed problems with my right eye and wanted to check for keratoconus and glaucoma. She was having trouble seeing the back of my retina with her instruments, and after a few trips I asked "do I have secondary cataracts?"

Lo and behold she assumed I would have had that dealt with within a year of my original surgery. We never actually talked about it. So she checked, and yes, I do have secondary cataracts.

Got my first eye done (just a laser procedure) yesterday. It's like night and day. Seeing as I could back in 2013 vs seeing as if I have a pair of perpetually smeared glasses on. HD vs SD with a dirty tv screen.

I don't know how long it would have been otherwise if I hadn't asked the question.

 

[BlueStarryHat]

I always went with my Mom to her oncologist appointments, because she would never ask any questions. I would get frustrated when she'd come home and I'd ask her what the doctor had to say about this or that and she'd say, "Oh, I didn't ask. If there's anything to tell me, she will." Well, this is not the case. A doctor is human. They can't tell you what to do for a problem you're having or send you for tests unless you speak up for yourself. I started going along and asking questions. "What can my mother do for this?" or "She's having this side effect, is it something we should be concerned about?" My Mom was always impressed by this, because she was taught that you *never* question a doctor. I always thought it was a generational thing, but it's really not. Poeple really do expect a doctor to be psychic.

 

[LuvOrlando]

You are so right but self advocacy can be an uphill battle. I am often brushed aside as a "hysterical female" when I try to get people to pay attention. If I don't just go away and repeat myself I find the caregiver will often double down so I have to have endless tests to prove things which is so wasteful of time and money. Sometimes I actually pull DH into a visit and, hand on a Bible, the entire conversation changes, very deeply messed up but very true.

Glad your situation worked out in your favor.

 

[ronandannette]

You are so right but self advocacy can be an uphill battle. I am often brushed aside as a "hysterical female" when I try to get people to pay attention. If I don't just go away and repeat myself I find the caregiver will often double down so I have to have endless tests to prove things which is so wasteful of time and money. Sometimes I actually pull DH into a visit and, hand on a Bible, the entire conversation changes, very deeply messed up but very true.

Glad your situation worked out in your favor.

Sadly, I completely believe this. As a woman come of age in the 90's, I don't believe I've ever truly experienced misogyny anywhere except in medical care. It's frustrating and iinfuriating and mind-blowingly just as likely to come from women practitioners as men. It's in some bizarre way, just baked into the mind-set of medical professionals.

 

[TCRAIG]

Sadly, I completely believe this. As a woman come of age in the 90's, I don't believe I've ever truly experienced misogyny anywhere except in medical care. It's frustrating and iinfuriating and mind-blowingly just as likely to come from women practitioners as men. It's in some bizarre way, just baked into the mind-set of medical professionals.

Sad but true - doctors do not listen to women like they do men - thankfully - I do think things are improving - I’ve had better connections with women doctors and PAs and younger doctors…they seem to listen more and pre-judge less.

 

[rwdavis2]

My wife, a retired nurse anesthetist, thinks a great business opportunity would be a health care advocate. Most people have no idea if they are getting decent medical care, don’t ask questions, or even remember what the doctor said.

 

[marthachick]

My Dad had covid back in January. We were not supposed to go in to see him. One brother was going to see him for a compassionate visit. Before he got there, they called the family in saying he was dying. We got to the hospital and his lung was collapsed. We honestly feel like his oxygen was too high and they caused that. After that, we called every single day and asked to come for a compassionate visit. During that time we asked that one of his ‘nurses’ be removed as she wasn’t doing anything for him. She could never answer any of our questions and she would never come back in with answers. And before anyone starts “they were busy…” the rest of them were busy too but would at least make an effort. My other brother is a nurse so he knew what was going on. Or not.
Anyway, we advocated for my Dad and brought him home with hospice care in early February. He graduated from Hospice care in July and is doing relatively well for an 86 year old man with COPD who nearly died. So, yes, advocate for yourself and for any family members who are able to do so for themselves.