mark & sandra
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2002
- Messages
- 2,293
Dear God, let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog:
-I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
-I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
-I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are tasty, they are not food.
-The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
-The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
-The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
-My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
-I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.
-I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
-Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying 'hello.
-I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
-I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
-I will not throw up in the car.
-I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
-I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over.
-The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
Dear God, May I have my testicles back?
-I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
-I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
-I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are tasty, they are not food.
-The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
-The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
-The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
-My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
-I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.
-I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
-Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying 'hello.
-I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
-I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
-I will not throw up in the car.
-I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
-I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over.
-The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
Dear God, May I have my testicles back?
I'm hoping he helps her with the "not throwing up in the car" part.
