Does Anyone Have a Child Who Is NOT Shy at All?

[Tigger&Belle]

Even possibly an adult child who wasn't shy so you can tell me how they turned out? Or maybe an adult who was not at all shy as a kid?

Sometimes I don't know what to do with my 6yo! I swear, he does not have a shy bone in his body. Sometimes it's a good thing--he'll volunteer answers at school, doesn't mind speaking up, is not afraid to talk to people, etc. Two of my other kids were (are) shy--they are 18 and 12yo and one is not--he's 15yo, but even that one took a few minutes to warm up to people and didn't "hit the ground running" like Jake does.

A lot of people find it charming and really enjoy talking with him since a lot of little kids clam up with strangers, but there are plenty of others who aren't so charmed. I know as he gets older he'll be better able to read people, but right now it's exhausting to me to deal with all the time. We just returned from a mother/son WDW trip, hence my exhaustion.

I really do believe that this trait is something that will serve him well as an older child when he's able to use it correctly (ie, read people better and be a bit more mature socially). I can see him being in the drama club, student government, etc. But how will I survive these early years?

Do any others of you have kids (or were kids) like this?

 

[Jenn Lynn]

My DH. He is not shy, is very personable and cares about people. All of the traits make for a good bedside manner in a Doctor. His patients love him.

DD is much like him. Very outgoing. Will go up to any kid on the playground and ask them to play with her. She is also sensitive and cares about peoples feelings. She hates to see anyone upset. It's hard for me being the shy type, but I would rather have her outgoing than like me in that regard.

 

[tiff211]

DD5 is like that, she will strike up a conversation with ANYONE! She loves to talk to kids and then tell me she has a new friend. We were in DTD last month and there was this little girl who had probably just come from the BBB boutique and DD5 went up and told her how beautiful she looked and that she looked just like a princess. The little girl DID have the shy gene apparently because she looked at DD and me with a terrified look until I shoo'ed DD away!

 

[NMAmy]

DD wasn't shy at all--well, heck, she still isn't. I've always thought it was one of her most endearing qualities. I love the fact that as a teenager, she can make small talk with anyone. I know I wasn't anywhere close to being as socially adept as she is when I was that age.

It's not a bad thing, really. Your son will be able to better gauge this as he gets older but, really, just enjoy it. Most adults don't take offense to a little kid that likes to talk.

I just had a little girl come in my office with her mom. She was two. She came around the desk, crawled up into the chair next to me, and proceeded to tell me all about her brother, Steve. (Her mom whispered to me that she was really an only child. ) She charmed my whole office and made my afternoon.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Yeah, maybe Jake will be a dr! I don't see it in my other kids. Isn't it funny how some of the traits that are difficult in a child can be such an asset in an adult (and visa versa).

Tiff, funny about your DD!

When DisneyPdD gets back from vacation she can verify that Jake isn't shy. The wide eyes that her DD looked at him with was funny--her little girl is quiet and was quiet a contrast to Jake.

 

[MAKmom]

How was your trip?

 

[Kitty 34]

My oldest DS was not shy at all going thru school but boy is my youngest shy!! Comple opposites with the middle DS falling in between the outward to shy scale.

 

[luvmydogs]

Hey T&A!!!

You've heard me talk about Chris before, and you have just described him to a T. We have no idea where he gets it, because Dave and I are both painfully quiet and shy around most people, but I swear Chris could make friends with the devil himself.

What we've had to do is properly channel his "enthusiasm" for others--make sure he's not in people's personal space, make sure he's always polite when speaking to others and teach him to recognize when people don't want to talk to him anymore! Honestly, he verbally exhausts Dave and me all the time.

On a positive note, he does seem to realize that his constant--ahem--exhuberance for life will not be tolerated in the classroom. I'd always thought he'd be in constant trouble for running his mouth, but he's always known to tone it down for his teachers. The lack of the shy gene has worked to his advantage in both school and athletics, as he's never hesitated to take on group leadership roles or work with other students--he's in a "Book Buddy" program in which 4th and 5th graders help teach kindergarteners a love for reading, and he'll go on and on about what he taught his little buddy all the time.

The negatives--he has no fear of strangers--everyone is a potential friend--which means we've really had to drill into his head the possibility for trouble when one lacks all threat discrimination. He's also never been a sleeper, either--six, seven hours and he's ready to go, and he's one of those people who's always "on," if you know what I mean.

We need to get Chris and Jake together sometime--I'm sure we'd both get worn out just watching them.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

It's not a bad thing, really. Your son will be able to better gauge this as he gets older but, really, just enjoy it. Most adults don't take offense to a little kid that likes to talk.

Most people were fine, but there was one real snarky lady. When standing in lines, etc Jake loved finding kids about his age and asking how old they were. If he found one his age he asked their birthmonth and birthday. One lady got very snippy, even though she'd just been standing in in an a/c line, etc I chalked it up to vacation grouchiness, but I have a feeling she was just a sour person. It's not like he'd asked her questions for 10 minutes--he was only on the third question. Really, it can go on for much longer. I was proud of him, though, he did get the hint.

How cute about the little girl telling you about her brother, Steve! The things kids come up with!

My trip was great. So tiring, though. I think that will be all on the mom/child trips for awhile. Hoping to go on a family trip to Universal with maybe 2-3 days at WDW next Spring Vacation. We'll have to see about that, though. It was hot in Orlando!

 

[Poohbear123]

Are shy, my DD is 24 and is VERY outgoing, my DS is even MORE outgoing than her! I swear he knows EVERYONE with-in a 6 block radius of this house, me.... nope! I have people coming up to me in the grocery store asking how he is doing and I have NO clue WHO these people are, but, they KNOW my DS! My DD the same way, says HI to everyone!

 

[Sparx]

Maybe he'll be good at public speaking? Thats always a plus and it helps to not be shy.

 

[ZachnElli]

Yeah, that would be my 7 year old DD. Not shy at all! It's funny because she looks just like me, but totally has her daddy's personality!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

My oldest DS was not shy at all going thru school but boy is my youngest shy!! Comple opposites with the middle DS falling in between the outward to shy scale.

Isn't funny how different sibs can be? I'm amazed at how different my 4 kids are. I describe them as polar extremes, even though I know that's not quite possible. In some ways Jake is like all his siblings and I joke that he got the worst traits of all of them.

LUV!!!! I haven't heard from you in so long! Funny that Chris and Jake are so much alike. Of course they'd probably kill each other. In my dream they got along well at least. Of course we didn't like each other. Jake does not believe in personal space, which was a problem at WDW. He was continually right on the heels of the person in front of him in line and I'd tell him to stay back unless he was riding with them. Mind you, I had people always on my heels, but I'm hoping to teach him more manners than these other people have.

I did have one lady say something at Epcot and I didn't even think he was that close that particular time. We were talking along going from World Showcase to FW and this lady went to the side and made a comment about him being so close. I laughed it off (nicely) and said something about him being in his own world or something to that effect and she loosened right up and I walked with her for a minute while he walked ahead and we both laughed at him walking along. One of those times I could have gotten worked up, but I just laughed it off.

Jake does do better in the classroom and is not one of the kids always in trouble, but he does still have a lot to learn there (but he's only in kindergarten, so he has time to learn it). Actually, in the classroom he's a big rule follower and needs to maybe chill a bit. The teacher has said that he's in charge of the classroom, which in the years to come the other kids won't like...

The fear of stranger thing isn't a problem right now because I'm always watching him, but when he's older and playing outside by himself, etc it could be. I guess I'm just assuming that common sense will come with age, but my 15yo is lacking any common sense, so why would I expect Jake to develop any?

Poohbear123, funny that everyone knows your kids! Are your kids in college now? Is their lack of shyness helping them as adult (assuming your DS is also an adult)?

Sparx, I don't think he'll have a problem with the public speaking, which is ironic since it's a big fear of mine.

 

[Mad4Mickey]

Both of my children are this way . They know no stranger , when they were little it was always a struggle to get them to stop talking to strangers.

My DD is almost 20 and has never had trouble meeting people and making friends . It has served her well ! She has been promoted at work 3 times in the last year and is well paid for not having a college degree yet . Part of it is her being friendly and not being afraid to be a leader . She started cheerleading when she was 4 and was of course always in need tobe the center of attention .

My DS is almost 18 and he has always been very vocal and quick to charm people . He has been Captain of his wrestling team for the last 2 years and his coach even told me part of the reason he was always voted Captian is he is not shy and friendly to everyone .

It is kinda scary when they are little but it sure seems like it paid off for both of mine : )

 

[diznygirl]

My DD is like this. Every stranger is a long, lost friend. She will run up and wave, and then hug them! She especially loves little kids, and this is a problem when they are the shy ones. She's such the flirt with the little boys - she's only 3!

She loves animals too, and we've gotten into trouble with her running up and petting dogs. Some people don't want little kids touching their dogs.

I think she just has such a love of life - no time to think about what others might think - she's too busy enjoying herself!!

 

[RitaZ.]

I was not shy as a kid and I'm still the same way.

My middle child has always been very outgoing. When he was two and we were out running errands, he would introduce himself and ask the person his/her name, "Hi, I'm Daniel. What's your name?" When my brother and SIL got married, DS must have been 4.5 yrs.. During the rehearsal, he met some of SIL's relatives, then he proceeded to introduce the rest of us. What can you do? They are who they are and that's a trait that will definitely come in handy as he gets older. So, embrace it!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

The good news about Jake at WDW is that at least this visit he's asking the ages of the kids. When I brought him when he was almost 5yo he asked the adults how old they were. It was actually pretty funny to see how they reacted (even though I had to pretend that I was not amused). Some adults answered his question without hesitation, some obviously lied, and some wouldn't answer. I would beg them to just lie because he was determined and wouldn't give up easily. The people who were most likely to answer truthfully were the elderly ladies, which I thought was sweet. They were proud that they were as old as what they were. I finally got him to start asking people what state they were from or what their favorite sport team was. Those were a bit more acceptable questions.

 

[LuvN~Travel]

We've got a 12 year old who definitely is NOT shy. As the people on the buses at WDW found out on our last two trips.
He will talk to anyone and everyone. We are definitely waiting to see just what kind of job he will go into.
The funny thing I heard yesterday was from my DH, though. He was googling our children's names the other day, and on the hits he got for names like our son's, they were all in the communications fields! He just looked at me yesterday and wondered if this was a portent of things to come.
Kim

 

[tkd lisa]

My DD has always been this way. She's 14 now, and is getting a better sense of when to back off. But when she was little, we were always terrified that someone was going to take her because she had absolutely NO fear of strangers. And heaven forbid that you add an animal into the mix. Since she absolutely loves animals, all you'd have to do is tell her you were looking for your lost puppy, and she'd walk right into your car! In fact, one Halloween, she walked right into someone's house to pet their dog. We lectured, and lectured. We role played. We tried everything! I was so glad when she got bigger!

DS can be a little quieter at first, but if you hit on something he's interested in, he will talk your ear off. WDW lines are a social event with my kids. They'll start talking to the people in line about the ride, see if they've ever ridden it before, talk about their strategies for the best experience, etc. Most people really enjoy it, and I've gotten a lot of positive comments that I have good kids. I usually answer something like "You didn't know you'd get your own personal tour guide, did you?" But if the family doesn't respond when the kids talk to them, they'll usually stop (generally, they just switch to the other direction and talk to the family behind us !!)

DD has channelled her energy into drama and music. She has done solos at school and at church, and has had several roles in plays. At her age, it's less about talent, and more about having someone who will actually open their mouth! She's got a lot of self confidence, which is good because she doesn't give in to peer pressure.

Hang on tight, because it's an interesting ride with a kid like this. But the good news is, there's never a dull moment!

 

[tkd lisa]

Hearing about Jake asking about kid's ages reminded me of a hysterical story about my son.

He was about 4 years old, and had just started to get interested in other kids. We were at a restaurant and he had to go to the bathroom. My then DH took him in, and DS pushed open a stall door. There was a young man using the facilities (Whoopsie!) and DS immediately asked "Hey, what's your name? My name is Casey." The boy (who must have been humiliated!, said "Shoo". My then DH moved my son into a stall, but DS just wouldn't quit. He said "Hi Shoo. Nice to meet you. I'm 4. How old are you?...... What you doing in there, Shoo? I'm here having dinner with my family. I've got a sister Shoo, do you?", and just kept on a one way conversation across the stall.

When they made it back to the table, my then husband was about purple from trying hard not to laugh! That boy never did come out of that bathroom the whole time we were there! He's probably traumatized for LIFE!!!