Does anyone feel like their school sometimes just "gives up" on your kid?


<font color=magenta>Besotted Pin Lover<br><font co
Jan 21, 2002
I noticed there are some non-Disney posts so I hope it's okay to post here.

Sometimes I feel like the school just thinks that my daughter is only going to go so far, so they don't even try. Like last Friday, she told me that during her special ed math class, the teacher was busy (whatever that means! she was there in the classroom) so the kids just played on the computer. Does the teacher just think none of the kids will bother to tell anyone? Does she just figure "what the heck...they don't learn fast anyway..."

Sorry...just venting.

You really do have to check in with the teachers from time to time. I found that one out the hard way. Some teachers do have a limited view of our kids, and if they have low expectations they will not challenge them... or when the kid does something more advanced, they pass it off as a coincidence.

I had a terrible experience with a special day class teacher many years ago, when my autistic son was in preschool. We kept getting report cards home saying how he was making such wonderful progress and she was so happy to have him in her program, but when I went for the first teacher meeting something seemed amiss... I couldn't quite put my finger on it. His behavior kept getting more and more out of control as time went on, and I made a few unannounced visits to the school. Which they hated. It turns out, my son is an imitator... there were other kids in the class who were seriously out of control, and he was mimicking their actions. They assumed he was always like that, and they did nothing to limit him or redirect him (or control the other kids) so it just kept getting worse. "They are all like that."

One day I went in to pick him up 20 minutes early, they had forgotten I was coming. He came running up to me and started signing "thirsty" right away. The teachers were talking about their weekend plans, they didn't even notice I came in. I started asking him if he had a cup to get a drink of water and the teacher finally noticed us... she came over, quite flustered, and started scolding him for getting his cup out. I told her I had said it was OK to get a drink, that he was thirsty, and she asked, "How do you know?" To which I replied, "He just told me." And she said, "He doesn't know how to say that!" And I said, "He signed it, and was saying 'tirty' which seems pretty clear to me." She looked at me like I was from Mars. She went ahead and got him a drink of water and handed it to him.. and my sweet, polite little boy said "Gank you!" (Thank you) To which she replied, "NO, Marc, this is WATER. WAAAAAAAAHHHHH -TUUUUUR." I was stunned, I told her what he had just said, and she looked at me again like I was nuts (I am but that is beside the point) and literally rolled her eyes.

The next week I gave them a list of the 200+ words that he knew and had said (not just echolalia) over the past few months, and she said we were imagining it, that he was not talking at all. Wishful thinking, and we should readjust our expectations. Needless to say, he was OUT OF THERE. She also told us he would never be a candidate for full inclusion in regular ed, and he has been a shining star as an inclusion student. He is in 3rd grade now and doing very well.

You really do have to keep an eye on them. I have had similar issues with my dyslexic daughter. I like what SueM said, IEP means "I Explain Periodically" to the teachers what it is they are supposed to be doing according to the plan.
I havve to put this into perspective from the other side of the fence. Often we will put kids on the computer to play math games when the front office has given us some paper work they want done yesterday. We will also put some on the computer while working one on one with other kids. We use it to practice basic skills. I know or deaf kids get the computer for math about once a week for skill building. They love to play on the computer and don't even realize they are doing skill building.
Since we have 6 kids, 3 computers and 3 adults it works really well to put 1/2 on the computer and each adult take one kid for half the math time and then switch.
That's a good perspective and would be appropriate. Unfortunately in this case, there is one computer in the room and they were apparently drawing pictures on it.
First of all, welcome to you, 3kids4me. This Board is a little different than the other DIS Boards. It's kind of like a combination Community Board/Disney info Board. Practically anything goes here. After all, if your child is having trouble in school, that will impact your WDW vacation in some way.;)
Some good points were made so far here. Like lisapooh pointed out, sometimes what appears to be isn't really what is happening. Sometimes it's better and sometimes it's worse than reality.
Some teachers have expectations and they only see what meets their expectation. Anything that doesn't match must be a coincidence or the "parent's fantasy." I've been there and done that. We actually had an Early Childhood (EC) teacher who wrote a letter to our DD's psychologist when she was 5 and said that I was delusional because I wanted DD to be mainstreamed in Kindergarten! The teacher said "Mother reports that DD can do >50 signs, but she does not do any signs." This was despite the fact that a Speech Therapist from the University of Wisconsin was working with DD and wrote them a report saying DD performed >50 signs. The teacher also wrote that "Child is in daycare and Mother is getting unrealistic expectations about her daughter from the uneducated day care providers." The psychologist asked me what I thought about this and I was totally shocked! Luckily he had a copy of the Speech Therapist's report and I could tell him that most of the "uneducated daycare providers (at the preschool DD attended) were certified teachers. The ones who were working with DD were certified EC thru 3rd grade and one of the teachers was working on Special Educaton Certification. I told the Psychologist that the EC teacher was probably threatened by those daycare teachers since they were getting a lot more out of DD than she was! We were really glad to move where we are now just to get away from that teacher.
Thanks for making me feel included!

It is really stressful to go through this, as you all know. I keep wishing it could be me instead of her that got sick....

I really know what you mean. I happen to be really lucky that my DD(almost 4yr old) is in a really wonderful school, that I have a lot of faith in, but like Teri said the best thing we can do is make unannounced drop ins.
It is really a eye opener. I also have the liberty of being a stay at home mom . I drive my
DD to school and really have a lot of communication with her teacher assistance and
therapist. But I do still question everything. (I also go to a support group that is run by the school director, she also happens to be my DD class room supervisor), This is really a great group of people to whom you can vent to about anything
Yes, they hate it more than anything in the world!and yr kids start to hate it in middle school!
So, then u have to work w/them(yr kids) and explain why u stop in. I have at times,
found my daughter being sexually harassed in a room where she was the only girl(the
teacher was clueless, said he hadnt noticed anything! right! sure! i don't know how he cd miss
it, i cd hear them down the hall!!! and then there was the time i walked in and they were
watching some goofy movie in science class w/half nude women... and i cd go on from there!
The best thing u can do is be sure the school knows u, knows u know yr rights, knows u know
who to call when things aren't taken care of, knows u will show up unannounced and with
witnesses, knows that YOU NEVER GIVE UP! DD's both MR... mildly but still, a problem for
the teachers when scheduling. Youngest wanted to be in drama class, they said no over an
over. I insisted. She not only aced it, she did better than the rest of the kids BECAUSE SHE
WAS MOTIVATED TO LEARN!!! She loved being in regular ed classes, loved the challenges,
loved the respect she got from the teachers there, who no longer handed out candy as
bribes/rewards etc. so shake them up a little, they need it! Yes, my DDs' school know my
home phone#, work #, cell # and my husband's work #. They also know if i don't hear from
them acknowledging the problem, i'll go up the chain of command. Sometimes u do what u
have to do. Best of luck to everyone! You are at least getting in at a time when mainstreming
is more the norm, which will make it easier, note i didn't say EASY! its never that!


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