Does anyone else obsess about everything?Big or small....

[debden]

I know this is a silly post but I'm driving myself crazy.Well I get home from work and re-think the day looking for things (no matter how small) to obsess about! Then when I think that what someone was telling me might be about me I just cannot let it go.My bloodpressue raises,I feel a little twinge of anger and then I plan how to confront them about it.Diplomatically of course.
I mean it stays with me all weekend.No matter how hard I try to just forget about it and move on.(That's what I keep telling myself:don't sweat the small stuff! UGH!) And the older I get (mid 40's) the worse it seems to get...Am I pre-pausal??
Does anyone else do this? Any tips or suggestions to help me stop?
Really,I could kick myself sometimes! (see,I told you it was silly!!)
Debbie

 

[powellrj]

I feel your pain. I am also in my mid-40's and everyone from my DH to my boss tell me I over think everything. I just need to sit back and enjoy the ride, but I can't!!! I plan what I am going to say to a customer days before I see them, and then when I get there, they aren't even there. I have just wasted days over something that never happened!!!! Good luck because while we know its bad for our health, its something thats really hard to let go of.

 

[dmslush]

I do that sometimes. I have often have what I call intrusive thoughts, thoughts from the week that just pop in my mind, and stay there. Also, when there is trouble with my dd (heck, she's 14, there is always some kind of drama), I dwell on it, anything that is 'off' stays with me and will run me insane.

I have started practicing deep breathing relaxation exercises and it helps. I start breathing slow and deep (make sure you belly rises and not your chest, and breath out very slowly) and I count the breaths. Counting has always been calming to me. When a thought comes into my head, I stop breathing, take one really deep breath and start over.

Also, I am not what you would call a very religious person, but I have begun to 'give it to god'. If I feel that the thoughts are more than I can work through at the present time, I just say a prayer and tell god that I can't handle the thought right now, and I need him to take it 'away' for a while. It seems to help.

 

[Bella the Ball 360]

Well when I do find something to obsess about it becomes really a pain. Like now I heard this clicking in my ceiling the other night and I am afraid it is a squirrel or mouse. I am totally obsessing about it. I do sometimes analyze the day at work too. I feel for you too. It is hard when you cannot let something go no matter how minor. I have been there.

 

[Bella the Ball 360]

I

Also, I am not what you would call a very religious person, but I have begun to 'give it to god'. If I feel that the thoughts are more than I can work through at the present time, I just say a prayer and tell god that I can't handle the thought right now, and I need him to take it 'away' for a while. It seems to help.

I agree, I too am not big time religious but I happened to be in the dollar store and they had this candle "Our Lady or Guadalupe" I have no idea why I bought it but it did. I light it every once in a while and it too helps to take away the stress. May sound stupid but if it works it works.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Yes, I understand about obsession.

I do meditation/visualization to stop the obsessive thinking. In the past I have used counting, prayer, telling myself outloud to stop!
Now I do visualization. It works pretty well....

I imagine myself stuck somewhere and then imagine myself getting out of there.

For me, I had to ask myself why was I overthinking/obsessing...I figured out that it is/was a way for me to not move forward.
Once I made that connection it is very easy for me to break any "obsessive thoughts" that I get.

(Since it is work related, perhaps play out the worries and accept the outcomes to "end it"??? Kind of like a movie?)

 

[minkydog]

Lexapro, baby

 

[debden]

Wow,thank you all for responding.It's nice to know I'm not the only one that 'sweats the small stuff' in life.I was never like that but over the past five or six years it's grown steadily worse.Even when I mention what's bothering me to a co-worker they always say 'Debbie you never let stuff like that bother you!'.And I never did.I just keep thinking it has to do with the harmone changes my body is probably starting to go thru.If it get's any worse I'll have to go to my doctor for blood pressure medication!!!
I have tried a few things: like telling (or yelling) at myself to 'STOP',or taking deep breaths and count to 10.....
Like most of you have said it's a very hard thing to shake off.....
Debbie

 

[ILUVMYBRIT]

I've been this way my whole life. I am a chronic worrier as well. I have tried relaxation techniques and they help to a ppoint, but I finally spoke to my doctor when the problems started to interfere with my sleep. I do much better now.

 

[princess pooh]

There's a book I really like called "Wherever You Go, There You Are" by Jon Kabat-Zinn. It teaches you how to meditate and focus on "now" instead of obsessing over the past or future.

 

[disneygals]

I am that way, too. I find that if I tell the story to someone, I feel better. If it is a biggy, I tell ten people!! I am always reviewing my behavior after being in a social situation and wondering did I talk too much , say some thing stupid, accidentally hurt someone's feelings...etc

The funny thing is that I am an extremely tolerant person and even if someone says something to me I don't like, I can let it go and see things from their side. I know intellectually that people aren't thinking bad of me, it's just I have to review everything and then try to let it go.

Interesting about the "let go, let God". I am trying that too. I cannot control the universe!

 

[Stitchfans]

I am so sorry that happens to you. My DD25, bf obseses over everything to the point I want to lock him out when they come over. He worries over this and that.

 

[DawnCt1]

When I was younger, actually until tenth grade I am sure I had ADHD. I had a hard time focusing in class if I got bored for a second. In fact, I would miss the instructions on how to do the math homework and have to go home a teach it to myself from the book, when I did the homework. In spite of all that, my grades were always good. I knew however, when I got to high school, I wasn't going to be able to let things slide so I forced myself to do what I had to do first, before I could do anything else. I think that change in pattern made me obsessive about some things, DH would say a lot of things. I tend to do what I have to do first even though I could reasonably do it later. My entire trip to Hawaii including rental car, accommodations, interisland flights has been booked since September. I get "reinforced" enough by positive outcomes to not give up this behavior. I often tell DH to "remind me I have to do this, or that" but he always laughs and says, you won't forget because you will obsess until you do it. Part of that thinking also involves "alternative approaches". I will know exactly what I am going to do, feel confident that it will be correct but have a back up plan or two every time. That also obsessive. Sometimes, in fact a lot of times obsessiveness is quite useful. We get things done. Something that I couldnt do in grade school and jr. high. Its when it interferes with your life and happiness that it becomes a problem. On occasion, it has made me anxious.
I am a bit more anxious than usual since DH is leaving for his deployment.

 

[hydster]

I hear ya! I'm an excessive worrier/obsessor! My dh is leaving on Tue for a business trip and comes back on Thur and I'm freaking and worrying that something will happen to his plane or to him. So much so that I've flared up my ulcer! I sit and cry thinking about him never coming home! He hasn't traveled without me for a few years so this is brand new again and I hate it! I've tried every method from A to Z to calm myself down about it but can't do it. I worry about my kids in school that someone will go into school and harm everyone! It really stinks! Being on Wellbutrin helps most of the time but this week is going to be pure torture until I know he's back.

 

[Tiggeroo]

i'm having a health problem and alot of tests. I'm crying all day because i'm obsessing over the thought that I have pancreatic cancer. I've got all the statistics memorized for survival for it. When one of my kids says, mom can you remember to get so and so for me I go in the other room and start crying because I can't stop thinking about them being lost without me.
Now almost everybody who gets PC is over 60, most are smokers, most get jaundice. I had an ultrasound which is 80percent good at detecting it and no problems. I"m still obsessing and scared to death. I've done this about other things before. So yep I understand.