Does anyone else find this sad?

[Dream]

Very sad Alex but so prevalent. The attitude spreads even to the kids who don't feel that pressure at home....both of mine have come home with B's , afraid I would be ANGRY!!! When I asked why they would think such a thing, they both related stories about tearful classmates being afraid of parental reaction. That's when I started hanging the B's on their "brag boards" right along with the A's!!! (I have a bulletin board for each of mine hung in the kitchen where I post the awesome things they do...brag boards.)

 

[paras4ri]

Originally posted by klombar
I see it in both athletics and in school. Parents are nuts! Some of these parents are trying to relive their past and push these kids way to hard.

It's absolutely there in sports too. DS played soccer for the very first time this fall, U-12 level. At the end of the first game DH & I were waiting to talk with the coach, to tell him how impressed we were with his manner with the kids. He's very low pressure, makes the kids feel good about themselves, and lets them try new positions, etc. if they want to. This in no way compromises the team, it inhances it.

Anyway, after he had spoken with a few other parents he turned to us and said "What do you think I did wrong?" because everyone before him had comments or criticism or suggestions on how their son could be better used!! Fortunately he stuck with his guns and the team had a very good season.

 

[JulesMom]

That is so sad!

All I require of my kids is that they try. If I know they studied and tried and still get a C, then I'm OK with that

 

[AirForceRocks]

That's horrible!!!

We have rarely put pressure on our DD (8) about her grades. On her report card, she receives both an effort grade and a performance grade. The only time we have really chastised her about a performance grade was when she received a low effort grade. We've stressed to her that as long as she is trying her best, then we are happy with whatever performance grade she gets. But when she is putting forth little or substandard effort, then we aren't happy about the corresponding low performance grade.

 

[sixcats]

Shame on them. DH and I were thrilled with the B's and B-s DS brought home and told him so! I see how hard he works.

 

[December99]

That is awful. The only thing I request of my dd is that she tries her best and she gets passing grades. I would love for them to be higher than a B but if they are a D, I'm happy!!!!

 

[Rajah]

I was the same way as Kath. My parents *never* gave me a hard time about any low grades (the few) I brought home. They'd instead ask what went wrong then work with me to bring it back up by the end of the semester. But they never pressured me to make all A's. I did that to myself. I still do

 

[Robinrs]

I hope Kath is right. I would hate the thought of a child under that kind of pressure.

I, too, put the pressure on myself. I thought I could make up for how BAD my sisters did in school by being ULTRA good. My parents NEVER put pressure on me, not once, but I had to be perfect.

Some parents have this ideal that they cannot achieve for themselves and put on their children. It is so sad. I have a friend who moved her child to a worse academically school just so she could get As!! Who is the mark for, the child or the adult?

It is sad but unfortunately, it happens too often.

 

[Boots]

Very sad indeed!

 

[glo]

I used to always say that as a kid, but I was never crying about it. If this child was distraught, then way to much is being put on her shoulders. I expect my children to try their best. All three are very different schoolwise and I can't expect the same thing out of all of them. It is sad when this happens. CHildren need expectations and they need to learn responsability, but a child who gets that upset, when she has cried is a sad thing.

 

[glo]

I used to always say that as a kid, but I was never crying about it. If this child was distraught, then way to much is being put on her shoulders. I expect my children to try their best. All three are very different schoolwise and I can't expect the same thing out of all of them. It is sad when this happens. CHildren need expectations and they need to learn responsability, but a child who gets that upset, when she has cried is a sad thing.