Does anyone deal with a sarcastic person every day?

[NikitaZee]

Keeping a promise to myself to not throw any of my family members under the bus on a public forum, I'll just say that a very close family member, that I see every day, is a sarcastic person and it really bothers me. I've brought it up before, numerous times, but it doesn't get me anywhere - because the person doesn't realize that they are doing it. The response I get is "I didn't realize I was being sarcastic - that's just the way I talk", or "How else am I supposed to say it?" etc. etc. How do you deal with somebody like that - whom you love and has other great qualities - but whose way of speaking really irks you?

 

[Luvchefmic]

Got one in my family too...I feel for you it's not someone I can avoid. I get the "Don't read more into it" sure you've heard that somewhere along the line. It can make you sick to your stomach, I am trying to learn to take the high road & not get nasty back; it really doesn't solve anything to fuel it does it? I try to let it roll off my back and I pray alot.

 

[abdmom]

My father's family was sarcastic, and it really bothered my mother. In fact, she eventually left my father partly due to that. IME, it's kind of hard to change a person's style of communication.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

If they don't realize they are doing it and they are not going to change then your solution is limiting your time with them.

If you cannot do that then you can ignore them (preferred method) or call them out everytime they say something nasty. Something like, "hey that was not a nice thing to say". Or do a variation of that that.

If you are good at zingers you can lob one back.

My family is all sarcastic so you would go crazy with us. There is a difference between sarcasm and just plain being mean. I am well versed in dealing with sarcasm.

If the person in question is "mean" you may need to take off the rose colored glasses and see them for who they really are. You can't really "love" someone who is a total jerk.

 

[dancin Disney style]

Both my brother and I have a very sarcastic sense of humour and I know that if you don't also have that it can come across as rude. I am very aware that I have to be careful with what I say, particularly at work. My brother is a much quieter person so I doubt that he has any issues controlling it out side of the house. His wife 'gets it' so she has no problem with it.

 

[NikitaZee]

If they don't realize they are doing it and they are not going to change then your solution is limiting your time with them.

If you cannot do that then you can ignore them (preferred method) or call them out everytime they say something nasty. Something like, "hey that was not a nice thing to say". Or do a variation of that that.

If you are good at zingers you can lob one back.

My family is all sarcastic so you would go crazy with us. There is a difference between sarcasm and just plain being mean. I am well versed in dealing with sarcasm.

If the person in question is "mean" you may need to take off the rose colored glasses and see them for who they really are. You can't really "love" someone who is a total jerk.

No, not mean - just sarcastic. Sometimes it's really funny - when it's about things 'in general'. Sometimes it just irks the crap out of me.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

No, not mean - just sarcastic. Sometimes it's really funny - when it's about things 'in general'. Sometimes it just irks the crap out of me.

Are these comments directed at you?

 

[1stluvispooh]

Uhm that would be me!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I have to share what my 13yodd said the other day. My family totally prepared me for middle school.

 

[happygirl]

Yes, I come to the Dis boards on a daily basis

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Yes, I come to the Dis boards on a daily basis

 

[NikitaZee]

Are these comments directed at you?

No, not directed at me. Just a way of 'summing up' situations that seems harsh. Like the PP who said it comes across as rude if you're not that way - that's the way I see it. When my kids are around I usually say something like 'Do you have to put it like that?" I guess that's when it bothers me the most now that I think of it - when my kids overhear sarcastic comments. When it's just me, it doesn't bother me as much - I can appreciate the humor intended.

 

[tink1969]

OMG....yes! I deal with someone everyday who is very sarcastic and has a very droll sense of humour. They can't have a normal conversation without making stupid, and I mean STUPID, comments. Yet, they think they are hilarious. Drives be bananas!

 

[FINFAN]

yes and no, sometimes this person is sacracstic( usually in a defense mechanism...avoiding blame) but 1/2 the time the same person is just plain negative, again, I think as a defense or coping ...but it is exhausting to be around this person and it does take you down with them if you let it.

 

[NikitaZee]

yes and no, sometimes this person is sacracstic( usually in a defense mechanism...avoiding blame) but 1/2 the time the same person is just plain negative, again, I think as a defense or coping ...but it is exhausting to be around this person and it does take you down with them if you let it.

Yes -- the negativity is there also, a cynical nature if you will. I think it's a passive-aggressive thing - making a joke out of something that really bothers them, and not understanding why I don't get the joke. Funny thing is, like a PP said, the sense of humor is very droll - actually this person is considered hilarious by family and friends. Maybe I just need to lighten up - not let it get to me?

 

[FINFAN]

or wear an Ipod when you are around them...lol....maybe a blue tooth in your ear, pretend you are on a call even if you're not. I WISH it were that simple

 

[Missy1961]

Yeah, I deal with one every day, because it's me!

 

[RDM83]

I definitely have one in my life! Truth is this person is PRETTY CLOSE to me, and it gets me so upset. I just can't say anything that is bothering me or present any situation to this person because OUT COMES SOME SARCASTIC, CYNICAL COMMENT I have just learned to deal with it calling that person out rite then and there. I guess it gets hard to drop bad habits after 49 yrs of this.

(well maybe not 49, because that would have made that person a really sarcastic baby too )

 

[krcit]

Yes -- the negativity is there also, a cynical nature if you will. I think it's a passive-aggressive thing - making a joke out of something that really bothers them, and not understanding why I don't get the joke. Funny thing is, like a PP said, the sense of humor is very droll - actually this person is considered hilarious by family and friends. Maybe I just need to lighten up - not let it get to me?

Are you my DH??

 

[Sugardimples]

I've ended relationships because I don't like to deal with sarcastic people.